“I’ll help you. Go on and shower.”
“But—”
“I paid attention. I can get some things started.” Her eyes looked uncertain. “Unless you don’t trust me.”
“No, but—”
“But what?” Pride’s a teenager’s worst enemy, and that girl’s supply of it is running low, Glory had told me. “You don’t want to disappoint Lorena.”
“I don’t.” Of all the days to oversleep . . . “Alex, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll hurry. I don’t know how to thank you enough for waking me up.”
“No big.” A shy, pleased look skated over her features. “I should go.” She headed for the door, and I stared after her, amazed at the difference from the Goth rebel I had found at a truck stop.
“What?” She halted at the doorway.
Better not to say what I was thinking, so I lifted my coffee cup in salute. “You’re a lifesaver.”
She smiled at me, really smiled, and I realized how little attention I’d been paying her lately. “No problem.”
Then she was out the door. A glance at the clock made me shriek and race for the shower.
I heard voices as I approached the café at a dead run. For a second, I wondered if it was Val with Alex. Memory fluttered. We’d danced, we’d . . . I frowned as I struggled to remember. I’m sorry, Red.
What—
Ray loomed in the doorway. “You told Lorena you were ready.”
I halted at his guard-dog tone. “I am.”
He nodded up at the clock above the serving window. “Got about three minutes ‘til Delbert and Bo walk in.” He glanced past me. “Coffee done, Alexandra?”
“Yes, sir.”
Sir? My head whipped around to see if she’d been replaced by some alien.
The sound of Delbert Wallace, my poker buddy, and his friend Bo arguing could be heard just outside. I snagged an apron and yanked it on, tying it as I walked to the grill that was already warming.
Ray took his time scrutinizing me. I was all too aware that just by staying there, he could make it clear to the whole town that I’d broken faith with Lorena.
And he’d be justified in doing so.
At last, he spoke. “You gonna mess up like this again? ‘Cause she deserves better, you know. A damn sight better.”
I flinched at the truth of it. “She does. She’s the best woman I ever knew.”
“She is that, all right.”
I frowned. Odd words from a man who refused to speak to her.
Still he lingered, and I tried not to panic over the seconds ticking away. “I promise this won’t happen again.”
“Better not.” He stalked out.
I kept my head down as I began to cook because I knew, whether any of these people ever would, that I had failed someone who meant a lot to me.
The front door opened, and then, blessedly, we were too busy to think.
At last, the booths and tables were empty, and Alex and I had survived both breakfast and the lunch rush. Not without mistakes, that was certain, but we’d managed without major incident.
“Give me five,” Alex exulted. “Did we kick butt or what?”
When she leaped to slap my palm, I couldn’t help but grin at the glowing young woman who had somehow replaced the scowling teen. “We did, indeed.” I was seized by the urge to close my fingers around hers. Hang onto this moment.
“I have to find Val and tell him,” she said. “Wonder why he didn’t come for lunch?”
“I don’t know.” But inside, I shivered. I’m sorry, Red. I could ignore no longer the pocket of dread inside me, as more scraps of last night drifted upward.
I'd broken my vow with Val.
And he was gone, somehow I knew it.
Just as, I realized now, I’d known, beneath the fury of my fight to save Sister’s life, that she was dying. That I was helpless to change anything. I hated being helpless, then and now. Alex would be hurt by Val’s abandonment, and I didn’t want to spoil her triumph of the morning, so I kept my dread to myself. As for me, well . . . I wasn’t going to spend another second thinking about Val . . . or last night. “You were great, really. I had no idea you’d paid so much attention when Lorena was teaching me.”
Her face was pink with pleasure, but she shrugged like the old, don’t-give-a-shit Alex. “Doesn’t take a genius to wipe off tables or fill glasses.”
“Don’t do that.” At my bark, her shoulders stiffened, and I had a sudden déjà vu moment, only the barker was Sister and the stiff shoulders belonged to me. The topic of our disagreement was long forgotten.
The shame of it was not. I am so sorry, Sister, for all I put you through. “Alex . . . ”
But the shining moment of triumph had gone poof like it never existed. A deep sigh escaped me, and the short night and hours of work smothered me. I just wanted some sleep.
Actually, what I really wanted was to be back on the road with the same hope I’d had when I started. Still, I tried again. “It means a lot that you pitched in. I thought I could do it all, but I guess I got in too big a hurry to do something nice for Lorena before we go.”
If anything, Alex grew more tense. “Why do we still need to leave?”
“My sister,” I reminded her. “You know I have to look for her.” Though I couldn’t help casting a glance at Alex’s belly. Where was Sister, really, inside Alex or in New Mexico? Or somewhere else altogether?
I was exhausted by the constant wondering.
“That’s just crazy.” She crossed her arms over her middle.
My mad scraped up some energy. “Oh, yeah? Well, who are you to say what’s sensible, you who’s still flirting with that poor kid? You have to tell him.”
“He knows. He wants to be her daddy.”
Her. She used to say it was a boy, but whatever she believed, my heart just flat shuddered. I knew how much she wanted to keep this child, but she could ruin three lives if she trapped Jeremy into marriage.
I opened my mouth to argue, but she spoke first. “Don’t you say we’re too young. His parents got married right out of high school, and Lorena and Ray were the same ages as us when they had Tommy. Lorena would back me. She likes me.” Her expression dared me to contradict, but I couldn’t because it was true. Lorena did care about her, and not only for Jeremy’s sake.
Then suddenly, she grabbed her belly.
I leaped from my chair. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Her smile was a thousand suns. “The baby kicked.”
“But you’re okay, right?”
“Of course. Want to feel?”
“Um . . . ” I stayed right where I was.
Her face fell. “Never mind. You don’t have to.”
“I want to, Alex.” She couldn’t imagine how much, but I was scared. “It’s just . . . ” That little life was precious, and it had to survive. I was so off balance anymore, and maybe here was Sister observing me up close and what if I communicated my turmoil and she decided I was still too much trouble and she chose not to be born in that body . . .
“Forget it.” Alex started for the door.
“No!” I reached for her, but at the last second I snatched back my hand. “I—It’s a miracle, isn’t it?” Maybe I could give her words and that would be enough.
She turned to me, her eyes ripe with some ancient knowledge, and with it she nailed me. “You’re afraid.” The notion seemed to tickle her. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re chicken.”
She was daring me, and normally, I’d rise to the challenge.
But what was normal anymore?
She didn’t wait for an answer. “Would Dark Agnes be afraid of a tiny little baby?”
This baby? Yes. If she had a lick of sense. “How do you know about her?”
She snorted. “I was there at Glory’s, wasn’t I?”
“But you were mostly sleeping.”
“Glory doesn’t exactly whisper when she talks.” She cocked her head. “You’re going there at night, aren’t you? She’
s teaching you about swords.”
“Of course not.”
“There’s no need to lie about it. Jeremy and I followed you.”
“You did not.”
A tiny shrug. “He wanted to show me this creek he likes to wade in.”
“Yeah, sure. His favorite place to make out, right?”
“So what? He loves me.”
“You barely know each other, and anyway, he’s so goggle-eyed over you, he can’t see straight. He has no idea what being a father means.” Poor guy was outgunned. Alex might have been younger than him, but she was wily. Dangerous in her abandon, her sense of nothing to lose.
Oh, lordy. From the frying pan into the fire, except at least this fire wouldn’t mean to burn her. Jeremy was a good kid, but that’s all he was, a kid. “Alex . . . ” I was about to remind her of her poor judgment in the past. That the bruises Pretty Boy put on her not long ago had barely left her skin.
She charged ahead. “He says he knows what he’s getting into, so you just go on and leave, if you insist on this insanity. I’m staying here. I’ll talk to Val. He’ll make you understand. He’s the only one who ever can.”
Reality landed smack on top of me. I couldn’t dodge the news any longer. “Val’s gone, Alex.”
“What?” Her eyes got huge. “No.” She took a step back. “You’re lying. He wouldn’t. I’m going to check.” Alex stomped out of the café, and I stayed right where I was, my palms itching to be pressed to her belly.
Sister, please just—
I was about to say Give me a sign. Show me some answers.
But I’d always put a lot on Sister’s shoulders. Too much, I thought now. And I kept doing it.
I blinked as it occurred to me, for the first moment since I’d left on this trip, to wonder if Sister would want me to find her as much as I needed to do it.
Which was the scariest idea yet.
Just then, a customer walked into the store.
I all but hugged him for the distraction.
The hours since the lunch rush had been endless, and I’d been dusting and re-shelving cans to pass the time while contemplating new arrangements, but this was Lorena’s place. I was only a stranger, drifting through. I started counting out the till, and the bell on the back door dinged.
I could feel Lorena’s presence behind me, but I held up a finger and knew she would understand. Finally, I finished the stack of twenties and wrote down the amount.
I faced her. “I overslept this morning. I’m sorry I let you down.”
“Did anyone miss getting breakfast?” Her head tilted as she regarded me.
“No, but—”
“Then you must not have been too late.”
“No, but that was due to Alex, not me. I slept right through the alarm.”
She smiled. “So did I. It was lovely. Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I slept in.” She stroked my arm. “Having you here is a blessing, Eudora. And not only because you work hard and could quite easily run this place without me.”
She couldn’t be allowed to think that. “If Alex hadn’t pitched in, it would have been a disaster. I didn’t live up to my promise.”
“Would you like another chance?”
“You’d give me one?”
Her mouth curved. “I believe in you, Eudora. I wish you did.”
There was a lump in my throat the size of Isis. What this woman meant to me was growing every day.
But I’d just landed here by accident. Lorena, Ray, Glory . . . none of them had anything to do with Sister and the powerful need in me to set things straight with her. To thank her for all she’d done. Apologize for making her last weeks filled with strife and not peace.
“You are awful nice to say that.” I wanted to repay her somehow. “I’ll be glad to handle the cooking until my car’s ready.”
Her smile went hollow. “The part’s here. Tommy’s already working on your repairs.”
I could only blink. For days now, I’d been focused on waiting for that one event.
“Easy for you to just load up and be gone now, isn’t it?” She moved from the door. “Leave all of us behind.”
Her sudden distance hurt me. “I won’t dump Alex on you,” I said stiffly.
“Even if she wants to stay?”
“I brought her here. She’s my responsibility, at least until—” Until her parents rejected her, as she was sure they would? Or until the baby was born and I knew if she was Sister?
“Until what, Eudora? Do you honestly believe you’re going to find her?”
If Lorena had stabbed me straight in the heart, her challenge couldn’t have hurt worse. I’d thought she, of all people, was sympathetic. If I believed she was right, I didn’t know what I would do. “You don’t understand. She’s my sister, my only family. I miss her like my right arm. There’s so much I did wrong, and I see now that I didn’t appreciate her enough—”
“Eudora.” Lorena’s hand grazed my shoulder. “It’s a lovely thought, your notion, but life seldom gives us do-overs. We have to make the best of the time we’re given.”
Sister was all I had. Fear made me desperate to quiet Lorena. “Is that what you’re doing with Ray? Making the best of your time with him?”
She reared back like I’d slapped her. “My marriage is none of your business.”
“Maybe not, but what kind of example is that for your children? Your grandchildren? What do they learn about marriage?”
“It’s not your concern.”
“Yeah, because I’m not family, right? I don’t really belong, so there’s no reason to stay.”
“Don’t twist my words.”
I shoved the cash register drawer shut, handed her the bank bag. Grappled for control before I destroyed everything between us. “I’d appreciate my wages, please. I need to pay Tommy, so I can go as quick as he’s done.”
“I don’t pay in cash.” Her voice turned glacial. “I must have the check for proper records, and my checkbook is at the house. You’ll have to wait for morning. He’s not positive he’ll be through today, anyway, though he hopes so.”
Great. I was counting on cash, off the books. Instead, she meant to do it all proper and take out taxes. I would be that much poorer, but I was not going to beg. “Fine. I’d better go. I need to pack and clean the trailer.”
“What about Alex?” she asked. “What will you do with her after this?”
“I have no idea.” I stalked toward the door, then turned. “She thinks you’ll welcome her here, that she and Jeremy will marry and live in some vine-covered cottage.” And if she did, what happened to Sister?
I could go on to New Mexico, I supposed, then check back here once Alex’s baby is born if I didn’t find her. Or I could—
What? Suddenly, I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I had the awfullest urge to cry.
“Eudora—” Lorena called to me.
I knew I should wait, find out what she meant to say next.
But I couldn’t. Right then, I just needed to be alone.
Fort Parker
Built 1834 for protection from Indians. Named for leaders who brought first Predestinarian Baptist church body to Texas; elder Daniel Parker; his father, elder John; brothers Jas. W., Benjamin, Silas, John. Also here were Kellogg, Frost, Nixon, Duty and Plummer families. On May 18, 1836, raiding Comanches killed Benjamin, John and Silas Parker; Samuel and Robert Frost and others; captured Elizabeth Kellogg, Rachel Plummer and son James, and Silas’ children, John and Cynthia Ann. In captivity, Cynthia Ann married Chief Peta Nacona; her son, Quanah, was last Comanche chief. With her baby, Prairie Flower, in 1860 she was captured by Texas Rangers. She, the baby and Quanah are buried at Fort Sill.
THE NERVES THEY DONE GOT ME
Dawn was tiptoeing into the darkness, and I was wide awake. I’d packed up last night so I’d be ready to go as soon as Lorena wrote my check and Tommy was finished.
That had taken a whole thirty minutes, including breaks to stomp around
the trailer. I was so mad at Lorena I could have spit. I thought she was on my side. Thought she understood me. Sympathized.
I never expected her to make fun of me.
Alex hadn’t shown, like she was psychic or something. She must have taken Isis because I’d scoured every inch of the RV and couldn’t find her. I probably should have been glad to have the cat off my hands, but I wasn’t. She, at least, would not have been arguing with me about my journey.
So that was one more thing I had to do in the morning. Find my cat and reclaim her, never mind that she slept with Alex way more than with me. Traitor. I was surrounded by them. Beginning with one Valentine Bonham, not that I cared one whit about a con man who was probably right now fleecing some unsuspecting woman who couldn’t get past his arresting face and smooth moves.
Yes, I know Val warned me, and yes, I said I was Through With Men and he couldn’t hurt me.
But without him, the whole town seemed just a little emptier. I kept remembering the teasing, the arguing. Those last gentle touches I wish I’d been more awake to savor. It was lowering to admit that for a teeny minute there, I’d actually been tempted to borrow Jeremy’s truck and see if I could intercept Val.
He’s a mere male, I could almost hear Dark Agnes saying, and I’m positive that she would have whacked off his head, not chased after him. That Big Lil would have looked down her nose at me for even considering it.
But I didn’t follow, okay? I should have thanked Val, I guess, for the wakeup call. Sad what a little flirting and close dancing could do, making a person all mushy in the head. Okay, and the great sex. My vow sure hadn’t stood up too well, had it?
I wondered if Val was snickering at pathetic me when he left.
You got it all wrong, hon. You scared the bejesus out of him.
My eyes popped. Could Big Lil be right?
Of course I am, are you kidding?
I sat up, cheered by the thought, and it occurred to me that, long before Glory or Dark Agnes, Big Lil might have been my introduction to warrior goddesses, big hair and all. Her sharp tongue was her sword, her unbending will her armor. The mental image of Big Lil in nose-cone breastplate, wrist gauntlets and stilettos made me chuckle, but there was no one here to share it with. Even if I would have.
The Goddess of Fried Okra Page 20