A Deeper Dimension

by Amanda Carpenter

  She picked up her half-empty plate and carried it over to where the servants were gathered, beside two serving carts, and gave one of them her plate with a thanks. She stood by the maid who had delivered the message and asked, “It was the third room on the left?”

  She turned and nodded. “Yes, ma’am. You’re to go on in.”

  Diana’s brow wrinkled in perplexity. What a strange thing to say! She turned and left the room, crossing over to the stairs.

  The sounds of the storm were louder as she moved away from the noise and the laughter of the crowded room and made her way up the staircase. The howling fury had increased. Diana thought it was a good thing that they were leaving soon anyway. She thought back on the route they had travelled earlier and shuddered. There were a few winding roads that would be hairy to negotiate in this kind of weather, and she was glad it was Alex who had driven and not her. He was the better driver.

  The second floor hall was carpeted with a luxurious thick mat of heavy shag, and Diana made no noise as she walked down its length. She looked about her; a fortune had gone into the carpeting alone, not counting the antique pieces filling the house. Then, counting the doors on her left, she stopped in front of the third door.

  She tapped lightly. “Alex?” she called as she turned the doorknob and opened the door. “They told me to come on in—” There she stopped short, hanging on to the doorknob as if it were a lifeline. A blow seemed to come from nowhere and strike at her stomach as she took in the scene meeting her eyes. She closed them, gasping harshly, the sound loud in the sudden quiet. Then a very bright lightning flash made her open them on reflex as it lit the room into a cruel clarity.

  Alex and Alicia were in the room. Alex’s chest was bare and so was Alicia’s. Alicia’s little black dress was about halfway to her waist and her hair tumbled down her back in a cascade of curls. Her hands were in the arrested action of caressing Alex’s bare chest.

  They both had turned their heads sharply at Diana’s entrance, Alex sucking in his breath and Alicia jerking her hands to cover her breasts, an obscure look on her face. Diana’s eyes took in an open door at the other side of the room that led to another room, but she didn’t comprehend any more anything that she saw.

  A sudden fit of violent trembling hit her as she closed her mouth and covered its vulnerability with one hand. She raised the other hand, visibly shaking, as if to ward off the sight of the two together. There was a moment of stunned silence, then she whispered behind her hand and shook her head, mumbling, “I’m sorry—my mistake.”

  Then she was away from the door, pulling it shut behind her and running down the hall to the stairs, tears coursing down her face. She didn’t notice them fall; she didn’t notice anything but Alex’s shout behind her and her own churning stomach.

  “Diana! Damn it, Diana!” he roared after throwing the door open and standing in the doorway. Diana, however, didn’t look back as she stumbled at the top of the stairs and hurried down. She heard a sound she was never to forget. It came from behind her, incredibly horribly echoing in her mind long after she had got away and out of range. It was the sound of Alicia’s laughter, light and amused, as she chortled her triumph and satisfaction. Diana shook her head numbly. It was impossible to feel any more pain.

  A maid was in the hall, her startled face swivelling to the sounds of Diana’s erratic footsteps on the stairs and taking in her obvious distress.

  Diana whispered urgently, “Bathroom?” Nausea was hitting her in waves.

  The girl pointed to the other side of the hall and to her left, saying something that Diana didn’t take in as she rushed past.

  She opened a door and saw the small interior of a half-bath, slamming the door and locking it behind her, cursing furiously at her trembling and ineffective hands, then she was violently, painfully sick, retching long after her stomach was empty and crying helplessly. Afterwards, she sat on the floor in an exhausted heap, leaning her head against the wall with closed eyes.

  Footsteps sounded just outside the bathroom door, but Diana didn’t hear them and she jumped, moving back against the wall in a gesture of fear as she heard Alex’s voice.

  “Diana?” he asked quietly. The doorknob moved as he tested it and found it locked. She watched the movement with a horrified fascination. She couldn’t remember locking it. “Diana, are you in there?”

  Now she could remember locking the door. She wrinkled her brow as she tried to make her mind think. It was as if the whole world was in cotton, and she couldn’t seem to function. It was upsetting her very much, for her mind was one thing she prided herself on, and the ability to think. This must be what shock does to one, she thought. Her hands were shaking very violently, and had been, as she recalled, when she had tried to grasp the latch. She raised them and looked at the veins. “Diana!” Alex called. His knuckles rapped the door and his voice was sharp with worry. Her hands blurred in front of her as her eyes filled. She tried to clasp them together. Concentrate on survival, she whispered, hugging herself. That’s all that’s important, the only thing that’s important. Survive. She felt a great jolt as she realised that she hadn’t whispered the words after all. “Are you in there?” Alex’s voice was raised and he shouted, “Damn it, Diana, are you all right?”

  Her head turned at that. Am I all right? she thought, her lips twisted in what was supposed to be a smile. Oh, God, he asks if I’m all right! She dragged herself to her feet and lurched to the basin and the mirror behind it on the wall. She ignored the pounding and shouts coming from the other side of the door and looked at the pale wreck of a human being in the mirror. “So,” she whispered, and this time was pleased to hear a sound coming from the lips of the person looking out at her. “You heard the man. Are you all right?” The girl in the mirror blurred as her hands had done, and she cried out silently, Be all right, damn it! You must! You must!

  She turned on the cold water and began to splash her face and slap it, uncaring of the hurt she inflicted. It couldn’t hurt on the surface any more than it did inside. After getting a little colour back on her cheeks, she took out her silver combs and combed her hair into some semblance of order, then replaced the combs in her hair. She took her time, oblivious to anything else but the fact that somehow she had to present herself to be intact and not the shattered mess she felt herself to be. She didn’t analyse; she was beyond realising just what had made her react the way she had. All she was aware of was that animal instinct, that determination to survive.

  She finished her tidying up and moved to unlock the door. She opened it to face a pale Alex, eyes flashing vividly and furiously as he raked his hair back with one shaking hand. A maid hovered in the background, her face anxious and concerned. Diana looked at her and managed a smile, albeit a wobbly one. She had been the one to direct Diana to the bathroom, and, she guessed, the one to direct Alex to her too.

  The maid smiled uncertainly back and then scuttled away; now that Diana was out of the bathroom, she was intent on getting lost.

  Diana’s eyes swivelled to Alex. She took in his crisp white shirt, rolled at the elbows, with surprise. “Where did you get the clean shirt?” she asked curiously.

  He sucked in his breath, searching her face intently. “Derrick and Alicia seemed to have my size in stock,” he said harshly, and continued, “Diana, let me explain what was going—”

  She interrupted him desperately, “I don’t want an explanation of what was going on. I made a gross mistake, let’s leave it at that. All I want is to—”

  “Dammit, you’re going to listen to me!” he snarled, lips tight against his teeth. He grabbed her by the arms and hauled her up against his chest. At this, she struggled so furiously that he was forced to loosen his grip a little to avoid hurting her. Voices sounded close by as a few people approached from down the hall.

  Diana twisted hard and was suddenly free. She said, not looking at him as she rubbed her arms, “It’s very nasty out.” She spoke in a dull, flat voice. “I think we’d better go now
.” They stood rigid and still as the people came into view.

  Alex moved, a jerky and impatient gesture at the interruption. “All right,” he whispered. Only Diana could catch his words. “We’ll leave. But we aren’t through, not by a long shot, and you’re going to listen to me tonight one way or another!”

  Chapter Nine

  Diana avoided Alex’s eyes as they collected their coats. She went through the motions of putting on her coat and belting it, unaware of her surroundings or what she was doing. She kept wishing over and over that the evening would end and that she would have time to lick her wounds in private.

  Alex took her arm and led her outside. They both instinctively flinched when the fury of the storm lashed and tore at them, whipping their coats around their legs. He propelled Diana into a run and after opening the passenger door, thrust her inside. Then he hurried to the other side and got in quickly, slamming the door behind him. They didn’t speak to each other as he started the car, reversed down the driveway and drove out on to the street. The darkness was a madness that howled and screamed as it whirled about the car, seemingly to try to reach the two sheltered in the car.

  Alex started to speak. “Diana…”

  “Don’t!” she said sharply. “Can’t you see? I don’t want to hear it.”

  The fingers on the steering wheel started to tighten until his knuckles were white and strained. “You’ve got to listen to me,” he spoke quietly in an effort to stay calm. “Alicia had just come into the room because she needed—”

  “Stop it!” Diana put her hands over her ears, trying to block out his words. “I won’t listen to you!”

  “For once in your life, damn it, you’re going to have to!” he snapped intensely. She shrank back in her seat. “Nothing happened, for God’s sake! If you’d just sit still for a minute, I’ll—”

  “Will you shut up!” Diana’s voice rose as she tried to drown out his words. “I don’t care what did or did not happen! It’s none of my business!”

  Alex held the car on the road, swearing while he fought the buffeting winds that grabbed at the car and jerked it from side to side. The tyres gripped the pavement and he relaxed slightly, beginning to speak. “It is your business, Diana, whether you want it to be or not.” His face was hard, his voice implacable. “Your reaction tells me that much at least—”

  “Shut up!” Diana’s eyes overflowed and tears splashed down her cheeks. She stared at him, but failed to see through the wetness blinding her. “I will not listen to this! I will not…”

  She started to fumble at the car door latch, not really comprehending her own actions but intent only on getting away from Alex and his painful insistence. He glanced over to her and grabbed her hands with one of his.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing!” he shouted. His face was white, his eyes burning with an inner fire. She began to struggle with him, fighting to free her hand with a desperation and strength that he found hard to control. “Diana, stop! Sit back and put your safety belt on, now!”

  She sobbed, “No! No, just leave me alone, I can’t take this. Will you let go of me?” She flung this as she managed to wrench her hand away and pushed at his arm. “Damn you, when will you let me be?”

  Alex’s attention had been diverted from the road and when headlights flared suddenly in their path, he jerked his eyes back in front of him and started to wrench the steering wheel hard to the right in an effort to miss the oncoming car. The headlights in front of them swerved crazily and drunkenly as they blinded Alex and Diana. She sat frozen, horrified and panic-stricken as she stared right into the glaring light. Alex, trying desperately to stop some of their momentum, slammed on the brakes while battling the wheel, but the tyres refused to hold on the pavement and the car began a sickening, out-of-control skid. Diana felt a great lurch as the car left the road and the bottom of her stomach seemed to plummet as the car fell, fell, then there was the screaming and tearing of crumpling metal, a shattering of glass and a hard, hard blow.

  Diana felt a wetness dripping down her face and seeping into her clothes. It was as if the world was crying, crying with a deep sorrow over the brokenness, the tragedy… With a supreme effort, she managed to force open her eyes after failing the first attempt. Getting her eyelids open a crack, she saw nothing at first. Sobbing with fear and pain, she opened them a little wider and realised that the darkness was not a complete blackness, but instead was made up of shadows of the night. The wetness was indeed a gentle rain that pattered on her face and covered the outside ground with innumerable puddles, the earlier storm having abated.

  She looked around as she began to comprehend that she was indeed outside, part of her body being pinned under the heavy and numbing weight of the car. She felt the wet metal of the car with her hands as she tried to make out in the darkness what part held her pinned and realised that she must have been thrown out of the front of the car, through the broken windshield, for the front was what held her.

  She looked up the side of the long, deep ditch and saw the other car perched half off the road on its side, its lights now dead and frighteningly dark. All around her was the terrifying and telling silence, implying that which she could not accept.

  Diana tried to call out, but a pain in her chest prevented any sound louder than a feeble hoarse whisper. She coughed hard, spitting out something dark and wet and crying helplessly, for the pain was beginning to hit her in overwhelming waves.

  “Alex?” she whispered. She rolled her head from side to side, trying to see better. “Somebody? Anybody? Oh, dear God, help me, please! It hurts. Alex?”

  Then she saw the still dark figure that was still in the car and she stared at it in horror. It was a sight that was to haunt her dreams and waking thoughts for years. “Alex?” she called softly. She held out her hands to it and whimpered. Dark sticky fluid was on her arms and hands, oozing out and running down her arms as it mingled with the rain.

  Pain hit her like a sledgehammer then, and she screamed over and over again. “Alex!” she cried out once more, then passed out.

  Vague and fuzzy lights seemed to be bobbing up and down just beyond Diana’s eyelids and she flickered them open briefly. There were flashing lights up on the road that looked to be ambulances. Men were all over the slope where the two cars were and several came running towards her. She whispered, “Alex?”

  One of them turned and shouted, “We have a girl over here alive! She’s trapped under the car—hurry!”

  She tried again to ask about Alex, but her voice wouldn’t come out past her throat, which was swollen. The man who had shouted to the others turned back and bent down to stroke the wet and tangled hair off her forehead. He said gently, “Hold on, honey. Help is on the way now. Just hold on.”

  Tears started to stream down her face as she tried to speak. She couldn’t make him understand, make him turn and look into the car at that horribly still figure. He crooned to her, “Don’t try to talk now. Don’t hurt yourself. Everything will be all right.”

  Diana raised a shaking and bloody hand to point tremblingly at the front of the car, but the man didn’t look as he focused intently on her, feeling for her wrist for her pulse. He said, “We’ll have the car off very soon. I know it hurts, but we’ve got some medicine and it’ll help the pain.”

  She moaned, sobbing now, and shook her free hand at the car. The man glanced at it, then shouted in astonishment, “Oh, my God! There’s a person in the car still! Quick, he might be alive!”

  She couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer and with a final sob of fear and pain, she relaxed once again unconscious.

  When she finally opened her eyes again, all she saw was white. With an effort, she managed to bring things into focus and realised that she was in a room. Turning her head from side to side, she was able to see the bars on either side of her bed and see the stand by the bed laden with flowers, different vials and bottles and a phone. She relaxed her head on the pillow, sighing. I really am an idiot, she thought. Of
course, I’m in a hospital. This thought brought back the rest of her memory of that black night and she scrabbled frantically around for a buzzer of some sort to call a nurse.

  As she was searching desperately, the door to her right opened to admit a starched and white figure who hurried to her side when she saw her conscious and in great distress. Hands grabbed at Diana’s and the figure spoke. “What is it, honey? What did you need? Are you in pain? Here, see, this is the buzzer to press if you need anything, is that what you were looking for?” The nurse shoved a small box-like object into Diana’s hands. “What’s wrong, dear?”

  “Alex?” she whispered weakly. “Alex?” Tears started to drip down her cheeks as she began to cry. She was certain he was dead. That still form in the crashed car had been too real.

  “Alex Mason?” the nurse asked. Diana nodded rapidly. “He’s just fine, Diana. Don’t you worry about a thing. Alex is fine.”

  She sobbed, “You’re lying, lying. He was hurt badly. I could see him in the car so still. He’s dead, isn’t he? I know!” The nurse started to say something soothingly, but Diana screamed at her, “Isn’t he?”

  The nurse pushed a button and someone came in carrying an object that Diana couldn’t see. Then, as her arm was held by the first person who tried to soothe her, the other person jabbed the arm with a sharp needle and she sobbed despairingly as the room whirled and grew dark.

  Grace was sitting in a comfortable chair when she whispered, “Hello, Grace.”

  She looked immediately. Quickly getting to her feet, she moved over to the bed and put a cool hand on Diana’s hot forehead. “Diana—how do you feel, darling? Does it hurt much? I can get you a nurse if you need one.”