by Raven Monet
The rush of a victory was always followed by the flashing of cameras in my face for months followed by headlines that read:
“Star Quarterback Dines at Local Eatery” or “Drillers Star Buys Bread at Bakery”
They followed my every move, trying to find something juicy to report and one would figure that years of nothing of interest would draw their attention from me but they were waiting for my secret. It was impossible for someone to only be as interesting as their eating establishment and deep down, I knew that they knew that I was hiding something and the one to finally discover what would definitely be praised in the journalism community. Finding a place to lay low was first on my list of things to do in the offseason and I’d already decided to take some time for myself far from the prying eye of the public. A month in Italy sounded amazing to me and I’d already rented a villa and arranged for staff for it so all I would have to do is show up and relax. Having something to look forward to would help with the fact that I was utterly alone and hoped that the excitement of travel abroad would lift my spirits. After I arrived in Tuscany, everything would be in place for me to just put my feet up, lounge in the sun with a smile on my face as I smelled the grapes ripening on the vine and I couldn’t wait.
After a very long plane ride that I mostly slept through, I arrived at the airport, checked in with customs and called a car to take me to my new home away from home. It was every bit as beautiful as I’d expected and it didn’t take long for me to settle in and begin enjoying myself. Never really having time to myself was one of my main problems and I’d never been able to really meet new people, so I hoped to remedy that whilst I was away from prying eyes. The small office area of the villa was furnished with top of the line equipment for those who wished to keep up with business while away and I couldn’t help but pick up the laptop and take it to the bright red, plush chair that sat beside the front window.
I surfed the internet for a while, searching for different celebrities, a few recipes that I wanted to try while I had access to the freshest tomatoes on earth and after I’d run out of things to look for, I gave the words, “Tuscany, gay, nightlife” a shot and came up with a myriad of options. There were so many places where I could go and the chance that I’d be recognized was slim, for I doubt many gay Italians kept up with American football. Going out and experiencing a night of pure fun and freedom was just what I needed but before I hit the clubs, it was probably best that I go into town and check out the latest in fashion. There was no way I would appear at a club full of people who were notoriously the best dressers in the world showing up like an American hillbilly. Italian silk is what my body craved at the moment and after I fed my belly in one of the local bistros, I’d acquire a new ensemble and try my luck in one of the clubs. If I were confronted by someone who recognized me and wondered what I was doing in such an establishment, I’d simply deny any prior knowledge of it being a gathering place for homosexuals. I grew excited as the potential for me to be myself if only for one night grew into a possibility and eventually practicality.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into the vibrant club, dressed to the nines, feeling like a million bucks and noticing that not one soul in the entire place gave a shit about me or my presence. I was completely anonymous and for the first time in my life, I sat down at the bar in a gay club and smiled at the topless bartender with no fear of being shamed. His oiled, muscular chest demanded my eye’s attention and his smile was warm enough to melt even the coldest of hearts but it was his dark, almond eyes that drew me to him. He was absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t keep my gaze from wandering back to him and his tight pants that framed his round ass perfectly. The heart in my very chest leaped when he turned to me with a smile, leaned onto the bar in front of me and said something in Italian that I didn’t understand. With a meek grin, I apologetically asked him if he spoke English and his face lit up as he asked,
“Oh, American?” I nodded with an embarrassed look on my face, feeling ashamed that I hadn’t bothered to learn Italian before taking an impromptu journey to the other side of the world. “I like American.” He winked at me and bit his lip as he said, “I have just the thing for you, Mateo’s specialty.” Turning his perfect face away from me, he gathered the ingredients needed for his signature cocktail and as I watched him move, I welcomed the sight of his rippling back muscles. I felt as if I had finally found myself at home for the first time in my life and as I looked around and saw the many men that were comfortable in the arms of the ones they loved, the thought of never returning to America crossed my mind and I smiled.
Chapter Six
“Is this your first time?” The question caught me off guard and made me blush a bit but luckily the lights were dimmed and the ones that shone were blinking so that my complexion was camouflaged.
“Um, yes?” I wasn’t sure exactly what he was asking but I could answer yes to any aspect of that inquiry. As he laughed, Mateo placed a glass into its place on the shelf then leaned onto the bar so that I could hear him better.
“I know everyone that’s ever been here and I’ve never seen your face, I’d remember. This must be your first time here.” Sighing, hoping that my naivety didn’t ooze out of my pores like a doe-eyed schoolboy, I chuckled and replied,
“Yes, actually. I’ve just arrived and thought I’d grab a drink or two.” Mateo smiled and said,
“I bet that’s not all you’d like to grab.” He winked, bit his lip and turned his round backside to me as he slapped it and walked to the other end of the bar to take care of a customer. I wasn’t sure if he was flirting with me or just doing his job so I tried not to act as if my heart was about to leap out of my chest as I took a sip of the surprisingly strong yet remarkably sweet cocktail in my hand. Turning in my stool to face the open floor of the club, I took in the sight of everyone allowing themselves the freedom to be whoever they wanted to be and noticed that there were people from all aspects of life.
There was a young man dressed in a sequined butterfly costume who was dancing with a gentleman in a three-piece suit and the two seemed to be more in love than I’d ever seen my parents. I saw drag queens and transsexuals, lesbians and gays, all traipsing around without a care in the world and for as long as I’d wished to live openly, I finally had my chance. I took my drink to the dance floor and allowed my fine silk suit to flow with the beat of the music as I closed my eyes and took the tempo into my soul. I wasn’t exactly looking for a dance partner but I didn’t push him away when the bartender sidled up to me and placed his hands on my hips. Turning to face him, I draped my arms over his shoulders as he rolled his hips towards me with a wild hunger in his eyes.
“I think you’re cute.” He whispered in my ear as his hand slowly ran down my sides to rest themselves on my waist as he pulled himself closer. I wrapped my arms around him and replied,
“I think you’re beautiful.” Mateo looked into my eyes and as he leaned in, I could smell the alluring aroma of his cologne and it’s a fragrance that etched itself into my mind forever. The softness of his lips surprised me, as they were more tender than any woman’s that I’d tasted and with a moan, I pulled him close to me, diving in deeper for a more passionate kiss while not wanting to let his wonderful body out of my grasp. I was rock hard in my trousers and there was no hiding that fact from him since he was pressed so close against me.
“You like Mateo,” he said with a coy grin as he rubbed his crotch against my bulging erection.
“I like Mateo, very much,” I admitted with a wild hunger in my eyes. He took me by the hand and walked me from the dance floor to a door marked, “Privato” then we disappeared from the crowd. The small corridor led to a stock room, business office and what looked to be an employee lounge. Ducking into the managerial office, he closed the door behind us and pushed me backward to sit on the edge of the desk. Mateo placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me to him for a ravenous kiss as his hands swiftly maneuvered the belt and snap of my slacks before placing hi
s hand on my overeager member. Freeing it from its confinement, Mateo stroked my thick shaft as he moaned while biting my bottom lip. I sighed as I relished the taste of his tongue, the scent of his sweat and the feel of his hand on my quivering cock.
I was nervous beyond all measure but ecstatic at the same time, for I had never felt such a thrill than when I felt his touch. Not a touchdown pass in history felt as good as Mateo’s kiss. He playfully tugged on my bottom lip as he pulled away from my embrace and dropped to his knees as my heart leaped from my chest once again. The feeling of his warm mouth enveloping my rigid rod was more intense than I’d imagined it would be for he seemed to know exactly how I liked to be licked and touched, something that women only guessed at and lost.
He greedily took my length into his mouth as his hands grasped the flesh of my hips, pulling me deeper between his beautiful lips as he moaned from the back of his throat. Closing my eyes, I placed my hand on the back of his head and sighed with a large smile on my face as I completely enjoyed the intense pleasure that I was receiving. Feeling myself on the verge of climax, I raised my head and said,
“I’m gonna come,” and he sucked with the most concentrated precision and technique, pulling an explosive orgasm from my loins, into his mouth where he greedily swallowed each drop of my love juice.
As I attempted to catch my breath, Mateo smiled and licked my neck as he ground his hips forward to be met by my greedy hand. His erection was protuberant and I couldn’t release it from his tight, leather pants fast enough. I’d dreamt of this moment all my life and now that it was happening, I couldn’t wait any longer. I stared at Mateo’s long, hard cock as I stroked him from my position in front of him, knelt as a servant willing to do his master’s bidding. There’s no way that I would deny Mateo anything that he asked and felt as obedient to his touch as any slave. My mouth watered for him when I spotted a drop of pre-come on the taut head of his beautiful dick and as I licked it, my tongue swirled around the ridge, taking his glorious cock into my mouth with a lustful moan. Closing my eyes, I ran my tongue along the underside of his smooth shaft as the head pressed against the back of my throat. Pushing past my gag reflex, I took his length down my throat as I gripped his ass with my hands. My head bobbed up and down, allowing him to fuck my mouth as I tried not to appear as if I’d never before been in this position. The rush that I experienced from feeling the rigidity of his cock in my mouth was waking my own member once again, driving me insane with a ravenous hunger for him.
“That’s it, baby,” he cooed in my ear as he ran his hands through my short hair. Pulling back so that I could suck the head of his cock while I stroked it, I looked up to find his eyes and the heat that was behind them. He slowly nodded as he closed his eyes then let his head fall back as he moaned, “Yes!”
The pulsations that forced his hot, sticky load into my mouth-wracked my mind with ecstasy and the desire for more. Making sure to savor the first experience, I slowly swallowed the treat he’d delivered to me before standing to be met with his tender lips in a passionate kiss. His body felt wonderful against mine as I held him in my arms, still trembling with excitement and fascination.
“I have to get back to work but I get off in a few hours if you wanted to hang around and wait.” I kissed his lips once more as I replied,
“I’d love nothing more.”
Chapter Seven
Mateo and I spent every moment that we could together for almost a week and he showed me so much more than I ever imagined. Not only did we make love for hours on end, making sure that I was a knowledgeable lover after I returned to the states but he also taught me a lot about how to feel comfortable in my own skin, being who I am and loving who I love without fear of judgment. Holding his hand while walking through the side streets of the small village where he lived outside of Tuscany, I never felt such pride and freedom to just be myself. Loving Mateo gave me a much-needed strength that I'd been missing and I felt so foolish for my little escapade in my truck the week before the Super Bowl. I’d informed him of the reckless act and my Italian love cried in my arms, telling me that nobody should feel that much pain just for being himself and showed me all the joys of which I’d so been yearning. Being with Mateo was as close to heaven as I’d ever be while my lungs filled with oxygen and as long as I lived, I would never know pure happiness as I knew it with my first true love. Even though we’d only spent a month together, it was filled with love, adventure, passion and honesty which is something that I’d never known. Looking into his dark eyes, I found where I felt most safe and in his arms I never felt ashamed or uncomfortable. In Mateo’s arms, I found unconditional love and acceptance which was something that I’d never even had from my own parents. Mateo and I spent every available minute together, both in my rented villa and his flat on the outskirts of town and the bond between us was stronger than any I’d ever known. It was this fact that made it almost impossible for me to return home when the time came but he’d taken a few days off work at the end of my trip and we spent our time walking long, country roads and bicycling through the countryside just enjoying our time together.
The night before I was scheduled to return to the states, we spent the night wrapped in each other’s arms on the floor of my villa in front of the fireplace, sipping wine and nibbling cheese cubes as we discussed a possible future together.
“I could come back every chance I get and even bring you to America for visits, we could make it work.” I stared into his eyes as I yearned for more time with him, knowing that our relationship’s chances of survival were slim to none. Taking him into my arms, I smiled as he whispered,
“Ah, mi amore,” into my ear as he kissed the side of my neck. Gripping the flesh of his back as I sucked in deeply, I nuzzled him close as he seduced me by the light of the fire. Kissing my body, tracing the lines of my muscles, teasing my cock and satisfying each other's urges was how we spent the rest of the night and I couldn’t have been happier. He brought me to new heights over and over again, both sexually and emotionally and I was more than certain that I’d found my soulmate. What made it the most painful and joyous realization was when I fully grasped that I could never share my happiness with my loved ones. If my parents really loved me then they would accept me for who I am, who I love and who I want to be but all they could see was the way the pastor might look at them on Sunday mornings. I would forever be an outcast in my own family whether they knew it or not and it would be my personal cross to bear.
Now that I knew love, I wasn’t sure that I could go back to a meaningless existence but I also didn’t know if I could ever go back to being not only alone but utterly lonely. Returning to my life was something that I not only didn’t want to do but feared so on the morning I was to depart, I called my agent and booked two more months in the villa. I didn’t think twice about it and when I woke Mateo for what he thought was going to our last morning together. After finding out that I planned to stay for eight more weeks, Mateo and I made love before beginning our day then rode bicycles into the town for some fresh produce. I could have easily sent some of the staff but I wanted as much time with him, doing small things that would mean the most in my memories because as wonderful as our sex had become, it was the things like finding the perfect tomato or sprig of parsley that made my heart soar with delight.
Walking hand in hand past the many booths set up to provide a positive experience for the customer’s shopping experience was one of the most joyous experiences I’d had, simply because it was an average act that I’d yearned to do with someone at my side, just like anyone else. Back home, I couldn’t take Mateo to the grocery store and canoodle with him down the aisles but here in the quiet Italian setting, I could do whatever I wanted without fear of calamity. Even though my Mateo wasn’t an athlete, I managed to get him to do some light training with me so that I could stay in some semblance of proper shape while I took my time off and I could see the effects of his efforts beginning to pay off a bit.
Back at my villa aft
er a long day in town doing nothing other than living out lives, we stood in the kitchen, side-by-side with smiles on our faces as the world felt nothing but right and prepared our meal. While I sliced tomatoes, Mateo diced mushrooms to add to the skillet for our sauce. He made an amazing pasta and he’d actually gotten me into the kitchen to help without slicing off one of my fingers. I was completely useless when it came to cooking or what that entails and was more likely to burn water than get it to boil properly. I’d given my staff the night off so that we could enjoy each other in private without any prying eyes, even though I knew they were professionals and not likely prone to gossip, I still wanted to be alone with Mateo for the evening. He popped a piece of Portobello into his mouth with a grin and I opened mine to accept my spongy treat. I’d never enjoyed anything in my life more than the time I spent with Mateo and the more I looked at him, the harder and deeper in love I fell, which should have been a warning sign since he was my first real relationship.
I should have known better than to fall so hard for someone I’d just met but I was swept away in the emotions and the whirlwind of it all and that’s why it hurt me so badly when I surprised him at work a few weeks after our lovely dinner in the villa. The hope that I had for finding someone to spend my life with had been crushed when I went to the back room to find him in the arms of another man. This forced me to cut my trip short and return to the states before the extension I’d given myself was up and once again, I faced the loneliness that had become my life.
Chapter Eight
My home seemed so empty when I returned and it seemed that nothing I did helped the ache and betrayal I felt deep inside except for when I was exercising. I still had time off before I had to begin training and I wanted to be in shape when I rejoined my team so I dove into concentrating on my body to keep my mind off of Mateo. He’d told me that he didn’t think we were exclusive since I was planning on returning to the states and that a bit of fun on the side never hurt anyone but he was wrong. I was broken by his actions, not because of his act in the store room but because my illusion of happiness had been shattered right before my very eyes. The truth of my sexuality had finally been brought to life and in the blink of an eye, my hopes of love disappeared into the night. It wasn’t necessarily losing Mateo that hurt me so badly but facing the fact that I had to come back home after a wild vacation tryst that opened my eyes to how wonderful it could be. If it were possible for me to have the type of relationship with someone back home like I did while abroad, it wouldn’t have affected me in such a way but the realization of my impending solitude wore on my mind at great lengths. I called off the remainder of my time allotted for the villa and returned home a few days after the fateful encounter in the storage room.