by Twyla Turner
“I don’t know.”
“Ryn.” She stares at me pointedly.
“Okay, of course, I love him. I adore him. Even when he’s being a stubborn ass.”
“Then if you love him, she needs to accept that and get used to it.” She reaches across the table and clasps my hand. “She may be mad at first, but I’m sure she will come around eventually.”
“You’re probably right.”
“I know I’m right. But just make sure you’re back by New Year’s Eve. I’m planning a huge party.”
~~~
Kari cringes as she pauses the story. Raquel didn’t know how wrong she was.
She takes a big gulp of wine, remembering that Christmas. Everything had been a complete disaster. And for years, she’d blamed her mother for it. But in hindsight, like with everything, she now has clarity. It was her fault. As well as a few others.
Her mother had just been trying to live her life. All she had ever wanted was to be happy, and to bring her family into her happy world. But they’d done everything to try to snatch that happiness from her. And because of her stubbornness, Kari has no idea if her mother’s happiness had been ruined because of her.
She’s almost too afraid to press play to find out. But after all this time being too stubborn to hear her mother’s side of the story, she owes it to her mother to hear it.
Kari leans forward and hits play once more.
Chapter 18
“I still can’t believe I let you convince me that this was a good idea,” I say to Etienne as I pull our rental car up to my ex-husband’s palatial home.
The house that I built with him.
“It will be fine. You will see.” He says as he clasps my hand.
The last three months with Etienne have been idyllic. I pushed my worries about our future and whether or not he wants children out of my head. Instead, I focused on enjoying each individual day. Days spent talking, laughing, making love, and letting him paint me.
I’ve gained a new good friend, now that Tiffani has been in Nice a few months, and we’ve spent more time together. I introduced her to Raquel, and they’ve also formed a bond over art. When Tiffani is ready, Raquel has offered to let her use her art gallery for an exhibition. One more tour group came out in September, before the high season completely ended, which was another success. Slowly, but surely, I’ve booked quite a few groups and gained a lot of interest for those who want to come when the weather breaks in the spring. And it is all due to the ladies who have already experienced my tour, spreading the word to their friends and colleagues.
So, my love life is good, my career is gaining momentum, I love where I live, I have my health, and I’ve got a couple of good friends. The only thing that would make everything perfect is if I could get my daughter back in my life.
Kari knows I’m home, but only because her father told her. The rift between us has forced me to stay in closer contact with him just to see how she’s doing and how her first year of teaching is going. Daryl also knows that I’m bringing someone to the Christmas dinner/party. Not that I gave him any details. He offered to let us stay at his home, but that just seems like all kinds weird. The ex-wife and her new boyfriend staying with her ex-husband and his new wife and baby.
Instead, Etienne and I have been staying in a hotel. With the way we make love, it’s best we don’t stay with any of my friends either. Most of our trip has consisted of me showing Etienne around and meeting some of my friends. We just have this one night with my family. And I’m dreading every minute of it. I’m excited to see my baby, but I doubt the feeling is mutual.
Even though I drove, Etienne still walks around to the driver’s side to open the car door for me and help me out. He looks incredibly handsome as always. He’s dressed in what he wore for our first date. Nice jeans with dress shoes, a white V-neck tee, and navy suit jacket. His wavy hair is down and luxurious, framing his beautiful face. I didn’t pressure him into dressing nicer for the occasion. He is who he is. And even then, he usually outshines most males in the room.
As for me, I couldn’t help but take extra care with my ensemble for the night. Daryl and Emma’s Christmas Eve dinners/parties have been known to be lavish events. So, I chose a white sleeveless dress with matching patent leather heels. The torso and bust of the dress have a fitted lace overlay. From the waist down, the soft, smooth material dances around my thighs when I move. While in town, I took the opportunity to go to my trusted hairdresser earlier today. She trimmed my curls down to their original length when I first got my hair cut. She styled them in soft finger waves on the sides and loose pin curls on top. I also let her do my makeup for the night. She gave me a smoky eye and red lips. Other than my nerves, I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt. Even more than on my wedding day, because I feel just as beautiful inside as I do outside.
After Etienne helps me out of the car, I straighten my dress and press a hand to my fluttering tummy. He grasps both my hands and lifts them between us, holding them to his chest.
“No matter how this night goes, just know that I love you. And you have every right to be happy.”
“Thank you.” I breathe in deeply. “Even though I think this is a bad idea, I’m glad you’re here.”
He kisses me softly. “I would not want to be anywhere else.”
“Besides, if I were alone, I probably wouldn’t have anyone to talk to aside from Daryl’s parents. Dinner will be with close family and friends, and later a lot of Daryl’s colleagues and friends will come for the party.”
I open the back door, reach for the bottle of wine I bought for the hosts and the little gift I bought for Kari in Nice.
“I am impressed that you would even attend their parties,” Etienne says as he takes my hand and escorts me up the long driveway towards the front door. It’s a beautiful night. Unseasonably warm for December, even in California.
“I did it for Kari. She never wanted to come here alone. And I wanted her to have a relatively normal Christmas with her father without having the angry, bitter divorced mother tagging along. So, I kept the peace. And we usually have a nice quiet Christmas Day just Kari and me after the Christmas Eve festivities here. Not that we’ll be doing that this year.” I finish dejectedly.
“Then we will make a new tradition with just the two of us until she comes around.” He squeezes my hand a little tighter as we reach the door.
“You’re the best. Do you know that?” I say as I ring the doorbell.
“It takes a lot of practice to be this perfect.” He makes a funny face.
I laugh as the door opens. My eyes dance as I turn from Etienne to Daryl standing on the other side of the threshold. My ex stands stunned. His eyes travel the length of my body and then come back up to stare at my face for several awkward moments. Etienne places a possessive hand on my hip, pulling me into his side. Daryl’s eyes finally move to him, and they widen with shock.
“Daryl, honey, who’s here?” Emma says as she walks up with their six-month-old daughter in her arms.
She sees me and blinks.
“Oh, Taryn. I’m glad you could make it.” Her words contradict the look on her face as she looks me up and down.
She awkwardly smooths her hair down and tries to straighten her dress. She hadn’t lost all of the baby weight she’d gained yet. And it’s obvious that she’s self-conscious about it. Although, the last person she should be embarrassed in front of is me. I never lost the baby weight I’d gained over twenty-two years ago. But I suppose to her, the extra weight evened the playing field a little.
Like her husband, Emma’s eyes find Etienne, and her mouth pops open slightly as her eyes widen. One of Etienne’s signature smiles spreads across his face. He’s got a couple. The Boyish Grin, The Playful Smirk, and The Stunner. It’s the Stunner that he hits her with. She starts to cough as if she just choked on her own spit. I smile brightly. I understand the feeling.
The entire exchange, from the moment Daryl opened the door until now, has on
ly been about a minute or so. It feels much longer than that as everyone sizes each other up.
“Hello, Daryl. Emma.” I begin to end the uncomfortable moment. My ex still hasn’t spoken. “I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Etienne Lemaire.”
Emma thrusts out her hand, and Etienne takes it, shaking it politely.
“Hello, Etienne. It’s nice to meet you,” she says.
“It is a pleasure to meet you as well.”
“Oh, wow,” Emma says breathlessly. “Your accent is incredible.”
“Merci,” he nods.
Etienne turns to Daryl and holds his hand out. Daryl looks down at his hand as if he’s considering not shaking it. After a few tense beats, he finally accepts Etienne’s hand and shakes it firmly. Probably too firmly. Although it looks like Etienne is squeezing his hand just as hard.
“Etienne,” Daryl says shortly.
“Daryl,” Etienne mimics him.
“Um…come on in.” Emma steps back finally letting us inside.
She bounces the baby as she coos sweetly. I hand the bottle of wine to Daryl.
“You have a beautiful daughter. What is her name?” Etienne says.
“Oh, thank you! This is Melanie.” Emma smiles happily, though I can see the signs of exhaustion on her face. I remember those times well. “She’s a handful. She can be a bit colicky, though she’s slowly coming out of it.”
“She really is beautiful, Emma. Congratulations,” I say honestly.
“Thanks, Taryn.” She gestures to for us to follow her. “Come on, let’s have a couple of drinks out on the patio. Doris and Gerald are waiting for us.”
Doris and Gerald are my former in-laws and Kari’s grandparents. Luckily, I got along with them and still do. Having lost both my parents, they were the only parents I had and the only grandparents Kari had left.
“Your home is very impressive, Daryl,” Etienne says conversationally. “Taryn says that you are a surgeon.”
“Yes. Thank you. What is it that you do, Etienne?”
“I’m an artist. A painter specifically,” he says without shame.
“Huh. And how well does that do for you?” Daryl says snidely.
“I have a home and a good life. It does pretty well.”
“He’s also an art teacher at one of the universities. And he’s a musician.” I chime in giving Daryl a look not to get started.
“Well, I guess you do have to have several side hustles when you’re a starving artist,” Daryl says as we walk out onto the elaborately done patio.
The backyard overlooks the Hollywood hills. Once Daryl married Emma, she renovated the entire house. Removing any signs of his previous wife and previous life.
“Daryl! Mind your manners.” Doris says after catching the tail end of our conversation.
Doris is dressed elegantly as usual as she stands from the patio furniture to come over to greet us. She’s a little slip of a thing, who has always reminded me of the actress Cicely Tyson.
“My, my, my!” She says as she approaches me. “You look like a vision. France has been good for you. And I’d say this handsome young man with you has something to do with that glow too.”
Did I mention how much I love this woman?
“Yes, ma’am.” I grin at her before giving her a big hug. “Doris, this is Etienne. Etienne, this is my…uh…this is Daryl’s mother.”
“Oh, pfft!” She waves away my introduction. “I’ll always be your mother-in-law, no matter what happens. Now let me get a better look at this fine specimen you’ve brought with you.”
I catch Emma’s frown at Doris’ words.
“C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer, mademoiselle.” It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss. Etienne says as he bends over her hand and kisses it softly.
“He said it’s a pleasure to meet you.” I translate.
Doris titters with delight, as if she’s twenty-years-old again.
“Unhand my woman, young man.” Gerald teases as he walks forward, dapper as ever in his suit.
“It’s good to see you, Gerald.” I hug him. “This is Etienne Lemaire.”
“Oh, even his name is sexy,” Doris says while my ex-father-in-law shakes hands with him.
“Leave the boy alone, woman,” Gerald grumbles at his wife.
Daryl and Emma remain silent during the exchange. Emma looks as if she’s just sucked on a lemon and Daryl looks as if he smells something foul. Emma has always been pissed that I’ve had a better rapport with Daryl’s parents than her. She can talk to me when she’s put in the time that I have with his family. But no matter what she does, she’ll always be considered the homewrecker to his parents.
Daryl moves quietly behind the outdoor bar and makes drinks for everyone. We sit down around a beautiful firepit while we wait for Daryl’s best friend and wife and Kari. Etienne and I sit between Daryl’s parents. Doris next to me, and Gerald next to Etienne. Daryl and Emma sit across from us looking sullen.
“Etienne, Gerald is a retired civil rights lawyer. He has a ton of stories,” I inform him.
“Oh, I would love to hear them.” Etienne turns to the man next to him.
Gerald immediately goes into a story I’ve heard many times. Doris, having heard them more times than I have, takes a moment to pull me closer so she can whisper in my ear.
“Honey, I’m so happy for you. You really do look happier than I’ve ever seen you. Even more than when you were with my son, I’m ashamed to say.”
“Thank you, Doris.” I flush.
“And he knows it too. He’s so jealous he could spit. My son is an idiot and couldn’t see what was right in front of him. He blamed you for becoming dull, not even realizing that he’s the reason the life was sucked out of you. He never gave you a chance to bloom. All he could do was take, take, take. That’s one time when I was ashamed and disappointed in my son.” She finishes with a pat on my hand.
I blink rapidly. It feels so good to have someone on the outside see the situation with so much clarity. Affirming what I’ve always believed. It makes me feel like I haven’t been crazy to feel the way I do. And I tell her as much.
“It feels good to know that someone else noticed it too,” I say thickly.
“Trust me, I noticed. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t want to get in your business. I hate it when mothers butt into their children’s relationships. In hindsight, I probably should’ve gotten in his ass more. I tried to tell him to appreciate you more, but he’s stubborn as a bull. But I guess it was God’s will. Because you and this young man look phenomenal together. I bet you two are steaming up all of France.”
I laugh, “You’re terrible, Doris!”
“Honey, if I were younger and single, I’d go get myself a younger man too.” She fans herself.
“Honestly?” I lean in, and she comes closer. “I recommend it.”
“Ha!” She laughs and high-fives me.
“Hey, everybody!” Kari’s voice rings out as she walks out onto the patio.
My body tenses. The rough pads of Etienne’s fingers immediately find mine, offering silent support. Before she sees me, I quickly take her in. She looks gorgeous as ever. It hits me how much I miss her. Her voice. Her laughter. My chest radiates pain. It only gets worse as her eyes land on me, and then Etienne. They instantly switch from open and happy to angry and shuttered. I want to get up and hug her, never letting go. But the near naked hatred in her eyes keeps me right where I am. Devastating me.
“Hey, Kare Bear,” I say softly.
“Taryn,” she says with disdain.
Never in her life has she called me by my name. It’s something that I would never allow. I am her mother, not her friend. But she’s lowered me to a status lower than that of a friend. To her, I am an enemy or disliked acquaintance.
“Kari! Since when do you address your mother by her name?” Doris scolds.
“Since she decided to date someone only a few years older than me.”
I feel myself bristle. I understand tha
t her feelings were hurt, but I refuse to let my kid talk to me any kind of way.
“You still speak to your father.” I cock my eyebrow, not caring what anyone has to say about my comment. It’s the truth.
“That’s different.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know, it just is.” She crosses her arms over her chest.
“We both know the difference, don’t we?”
She squeezes her lips together tightly.
That’s what I thought. The only difference is that she had a crush on Etienne. Because she wanted him and he chose me instead, is what really pisses her off. But she’s still my daughter, and I don’t want to lay her shit bare here in front of her closest family, embarrassing her.
“I am your mother and will always be your mother. So, you will address me as such.”
“Fine. Mother.” The word drips with sarcasm.
The chime of the doorbell rings in our ears.
“That would be, Chuck and Carolyn,” Daryl quickly gets up.
“Uh…perfect.” Emma jumps up too, slightly disturbing the baby in her arms. “Now that everyone is here, how about we all go into the dining room and get dinner going?”
We all stand and head into the dining room. On the way, Doris takes the baby from Emma. She may not be a fan of her current daughter-in-law, but it is obvious that she loves her new granddaughter.
We sit at a long elegant table. Etienne and I sit next to each other. Kari makes sure she sits on the other side, as far away from us as she can. Which is not far enough for her, I’m sure.
Chuck and Carolyn walk in and look at me in shock, like everyone else so far tonight. Jesus, what did I look like before I left?! I must have been a real wreck.
Chuck is light-skinned with blue eyes and curly hair from his mixed parentage. Carolyn is a tall, stunning redhead. Their refined and conservative appearance is far from the laidback couple they once were when Daryl and Chuck were med students. We’ve all grown so much over the years.
I know Daryl’s best friend and wife well, although I lost them in the divorce when they chose to take Daryl’s side. That’s the problem with gaining any friends through marriage. If the marriage falls apart, so do the friendships on one side or the other. Carolyn always avoided me afterward. I think her guilt for choosing the side of the philanderer for her husband’s sake ate away at her.