by Twyla Turner
“Hello, Carolyn. Chuck. It’s good to see you,” I say politely, since everyone else tonight seems to forget their manners when they first see me.
“Wow! You look incredible, Ryn.” Carolyn says as she comes around to greet me. “I can’t believe you cut off all your hair! But it really suits you.”
“Thank you, Carolyn. You look great as always.” I stand, and we hug awkwardly. I release her and gesture to Etienne. “This is my boyfriend, Etienne Lemaire. Etienne, this is Daryl’s best friend Chuck and his wife, Carolyn.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Etienne says as he stands and shakes their hands.
Carolyn’s eyes widen, “Uh…it’s nice to meet you too.”
Chuck moves to sit next to Daryl at the head of the table. Carolyn sits next to Emma at the foot.
Caterers that were hired to take care of the food for the night, come out and serve our dishes. I remember hosting many of these dinners with Daryl when we were still married. Although, I didn’t have the help of caterers. I was expected to do all the cooking and bringing out the food.
Throughout dinner, I find myself looking across the table to Kari. But she refuses to even look in my direction. Although, I have caught her gazing longingly at Etienne every now and again. Her crush obviously still going strong. I don’t blame her. Every woman at the table finds their eyes staring at him surreptitiously. Especially when he chats with Gerald who is sitting directly across from us. His accent drifting around the table like a siren’s song. A French accent in America is like the flute of the Pied Piper. Wherever it goes, American women follow.
Doris keeps me busy as I answer all of her questions about my life in France. While, Emma and Carolyn pretend they’re not listening in curiously.
“So, Ryn…” Carolyn smiles at me brightly, taking advantage of the pause between conversations.
Here we go.
“Yes, Carolyn.” I smile back equally bright. And just as fake.
“Where exactly did you two meet?”
“At his art exhibition.”
“Oh, so you’re an artist?”
“Oui, a painter.” Etienne nods.
“An amazing painter,” I add.
“What do you paint?”
“Right now? Ryn.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mm.” He hums.
The whole table is now listening in. I adjust awkwardly in my chair.
“Like what? Portraits? Candid moments?” Carolyn presses curiously.
“Oui. As well as nude. Us together as we make love. As she sleeps after a long night of lovemaking. Everything. She is my muse.” Etienne replies flippantly as he strokes his thumb down my jaw.
I choke on a carrot.
He pats my back as I try to regain my composure. I’m not sure if he told them all of that because he’s French, and talking about sexuality and sexual things is nothing to them. Or because he was trying to get a rise out of them. I have a feeling it’s a little bit of both. He succeeded.
Carolyn is beet red. Chuck scratches the back of his head as if his name is Bennett and he ain’t in it. Gerald is trying hard not to laugh as he looks down at his plate. Doris is laughing and does nothing to try to hide it. Kari is shooting daggers at me. Daryl looks like he’s swallowed his tongue. And Emma’s lips are pinched together like she’s sucking on that invisible lemon again.
If Daryl’s sexual prowess is still anything like when we were together, I know Emma isn’t being satisfied sexually.
“Uh…I see.” Carolyn finally finds her voice. She laughs once. A single huff of air through her nose as she plasters on a signature fake smile. “Must be nice.”
“It is.” Etienne grins happily, before biting off a piece of bread. Oblivious to the discomfort of everyone at the table. “Taryn is the most extraordinary woman I have ever met. Independent, ambitious, passionate, intelligent, and beautiful. I would be a fool not to see this, no?” He finishes with a pointed look at the head of the table.
Yep. It was absolutely on purpose.
Daryl stares hard at my young lover as Etienne stares right back. The muscles in my ex-husband’s jaw tick furiously.
The dining room is deathly silent for several excruciating seconds before Doris comes to the rescue.
“So…Emma! The food was fantastic. What’s for dessert?”
“Tiramisu,” she answers tightly.
“Wonderful! You’ll have to tell me the name of your caterer. Gerald and I are planning on having a fiftieth wedding anniversary party.”
Emma answers her quickly and the table starts back up with chatter. I breathe a sigh of relief. But not before I squeeze Etienne’s thigh tightly, giving him a look he can’t misinterpret.
I really could kill him. Right before I crawl under a rock and die.
~~~
As dinner comes to an end, Melanie starts to get fussy in Doris’s arms. She passes her back to her mother, but that still doesn’t help. She starts to wail in earnest now. Carolyn offers to take her, but the baby isn’t having it.
“Let me take my baby sister,” Kari says as she gets up from her chair and comes around to Emma.
She takes Melanie, bouncing her as she walks around the table.
“It’s her bedtime. She gets so exhausted but refuses to go to sleep. She just screams for hours before she finally settles down. By then, I’m exhausted and irritated, she senses it and can’t relax. It’s like this every night. I was seriously considering canceling the party because of it.” Emma admits, embarrassed by her daughter’s wails.
“Can I try?” Etienne asks, surprising me and everyone at the table.
“Uh…you can try.” Emma looks at him doubtfully.
Etienne stands and walks over to Kari. She looks at him yearningly as she passes the baby to him. The baby’s face is beet red and wet with tears.
“Oh, c'est bon, ma chérie.” Oh, it’s okay, sweetie. He coos at her as he walks her around the table.
She starts to calm down almost immediately. Her wails turning into whimpers. Etienne starts to sing to her in French, and the whole table is spellbound. He gently rubs her back as he sings, and her little eyelids flutter closed.
My chest tightens as I watch him. Never has a man looked more right with a baby in his arms than right now. It is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Yet, it fills me with so much sorrow, knowing that it’s something I can’t give him. All the feelings of doubt that I’ve pushed down over the last couple of months return in full force.
It only takes him all of five minutes before the baby is completely out. Her heading resting peacefully against his chest. Her little mouth slack as drool starts to dribble out her mouth.
Emma gets up and walks over to him, taking the sleeping baby back.
“Do you have to go back? I could hire you to put her to sleep every day.” Emma partially jokes. It’s obvious that if he said yes, she wouldn’t turn him down.
Everyone chuckles.
“I would love to, but alas, I have a life I must get back to. But I appreciate the offer.” He grins as he sits back down next to me and wipes the drool from his jacket with his napkin.
“It was worth a shot,” Emma says. “I’ll go put her down. Guests for the party will be arriving any minute.”
Before she can walk out of the dining room, the doorbell rings.
“I’ll get the door,” Daryl says to Emma. “You all can head back out to the patio.”
“Well, my, my. Aren’t you just full of surprises.” Doris says to Etienne as we walk out to the backyard. “You’ve got the magic touch. Not very many people can do that.”
Etienne chuckles.
“I think he just has a way with women. Even the littlest ones.” I joke, trying to push aside my fears.
“I think you’re right.” Doris winks and leans in conspiratorially. “Did you see the way Emma and Carolyn were drooling over him during dinner? Ha!”
“Yeah, unfortunately, that goes for my daughter as well.”
/> “Yes, she’s got a bit of a crush on your man, I see. Don’t worry about that, honey. She’ll come around.”
“I don’t know about that, Doris. She’s pretty pissed at me.”
“Honey, don’t even get your panties in a twist. Mothers deserve happiness just as much as their children. Besides, if he wanted her, I’m sure he would have chosen her. He didn’t, so she just needs to move on. These kids these days need to learn that they can’t always get what they want.”
Chapter 19
The party is in full swing. I know most of the people here. So, I received the look of shock about fifty times as each person took me in and met my new boyfriend. I’m really starting to become offended for the person I used to be. They act like I was a troll or something.
I say goodbye to my only allies, Doris and Gerald. They’re not much for partying these days and call it early.
“It was so good to see you, Taryn,” Doris says as she hugs me tightly. “Enjoy your life. It’s the only one you’ve got. And I’ll try to work on my granddaughter. Hopefully, she’ll come around.”
“Thank you, Doris. You’re the best ex-mother-in-law ever.”
She laughs as she takes Gerald’s hand. They give a final wave goodbye and head out. I make my way over to the bar to get another drink from the hired bartender that took over for Daryl once the party started.
“Chardonnay, please,” I order.
I turn with my glass, looking for Etienne. I spot him easily. He’s currently surrounded by a group of women. He glances up and winks at me. I chuckle and shake my head. If I were a more jealous woman, I’d be freaking out and causing a scene. Instead, I search for my daughter.
I find her chatting with the daughter of one of Daryl’s colleagues. I take a deep breath and walk towards her.
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
She scowls at me before turning to the girl. “Excuse me for a moment.” She turns back to me as the girl walks away. “What?”
“I’m getting a little tired of your attitude, Kari. You’re my daughter. We can’t keep going on like this. Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. Do you really want to spend today being mad at me? And for something that was out of my control?”
“Yeah, like it was out of your control to humiliate me? To make me think that he might be interested in me when you knew he wanted you?”
“I honestly couldn’t even fathom him being interested in me at the time. I thought he would be way more suitable for you.”
“Oh, you look so regretful.” The sarcasm drips from her voice. “So much so that you’d bring him here to rub it in my face.”
“I deserve to be happy, Kari. And he makes me happy. I won’t apologize for it.”
“Then be happy…without me in your life. And I won’t apologize for walking away.” She says before turning and doing exactly that.
I sigh in frustration as I watch her retreating back. I swallow hard and blink quickly to keep from bursting out into tears in front of all of these people. I look up to where Etienne is still chatting with the group of women. He is already watching me. The look in his eyes says that he’s ready to walk away in the middle of the conversation, but I shake my head and hold up my hand. Letting him know not to worry about me.
I walk into the house, wanting to find a quiet place to calm down. As I walk through the crowd, I hear snatches of conversation.
“Can you believe how young he is?”
“Yeah, she’s definitely robbing the cradle.”
“She looks gorgeous.”
“I’d look gorgeous too if I had someone like that to fuck every day.”
I pick up the pace, nearly running to the kitchen away from all the gossip about me. Luckily, the kitchen is empty for the moment. I lean back against the counter and chug down my glass of wine.
“Ryn, are you alright?” Daryl says from the doorway to the kitchen.
“I’m fine, Daryl.”
He walks into the kitchen and leans against the island across from me.
“You look really good.” He lets his eyes trail up and down my body. As if it’s not the same body that he’d mentioned on several occasions needed to lose some weight and be toned up.
“Thank you.”
“So…what are you doing with this guy?”
“What?”
“He’s a little young, isn’t he? And you never struck me as one of those black women.”
“Excuse me?” I straighten up from the counter.
“I mean, come on, Ryn. It looks a little desperate for you to be dating somebody so young. Plus, he’s white.”
“Wait.” I raise my hands to stop him. “Am I having a mini-stroke or did you just open your fucking mouth to accuse me of doing something that you did eight years ago? Is your wife not a little young? Is your wife not white? As a matter of fact, didn’t you leave me for her?”
“Don’t get pissed, Ryn.” He steps closer to me. “Maybe I’m just a little jealous. I wish you looked this good and were this independent when we were together. You cut your hair.” He slides a strand of my curls through his fingers. “I know you did it because I liked it long. But it looks really good on you. Sexy.
“Damn, Ryn! He can’t possibly be satisfying you like I could.”
I blink up at him in complete shock as he cups the side of my face and strokes his thumb over my cheek. I feel nothing but rage. He leans down towards me, moving to kiss me. I smack his hand away as hard as I can, and step to the side and away from him.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?! First of all, did it ever occur to you that I didn’t look as good or was as independent because of you? You drained every ounce of life I had in me as I tried to cater to your every need for fifteen years, you selfish asshole! And if you’re implying what I think you are. Don’t worry, he satisfies me just fine. The white man’s dick is bigger than yours, and he’s the first man to actually take the time to give me an orgasm. Multiple, in fact. So, go fuck yourself.” I turn to walk away.
His hand wraps around my arm tightly, bruising me. He whips me around and is on me a second later, bending me backward over the counter as he presses into me.
“Just give me another chance, Ryn. I bet I could make it up to you, and you’d forget all about that broke ass pretty boy.” He says before trying to kiss me.
“Daryl!” Emma hisses from the doorway. Etienne beside her.
“Emma,” Daryl says guiltily as he steps back.
His hand immediately drops my arm from his vise grip. I don’t think, I just react. My open palm connects with his cheek so hard that my hand stings and throbs.
“Fuck, Ryn!” Daryl growls at me.
I take a step back as he lifts his fist reflexively as if to strike me. Etienne grabs his shoulder and turns him as he lets his own fist fly. Daryl isn’t ready for it, and Etienne’s fist connects with his jaw. Sending him to his knees. Emma runs to him and looks at us as if we were to blame.
“Get out of my house, slut.” She sneers at me.
“Slut?” Etienne’s arm bands around my waist, holding me back as I lunge forward. “Are you really going to part your lips to call me a slut, when you were the one who fucked my husband? This was my house before you came along. I built this shit. I built this life that you’re enjoying. You’re on borrowed time, sweetheart. It’s obvious that he’s going to do to you what he did to me. Enjoy it while you can.”
“Fuck you! I said, get out!” She screams.
“Gladly.”
I turn, taking Etienne’s hand and storm towards the front of the house. The entire house is dead silent as all of the guests listen to the drama unfolding. I spot Kari standing off to the side. I walk over to her and hand her the gift I bought her.
“You know how to contact me when you’re ready. I’ll love you forever. To the moon and back.”
And with that, we walk out the door. I slam it loud enough to shake the foundation, and practically stomp towards the rental car. Etienne remains silent as
he helps me into the car, and as I peel away down the street.
Etienne had been right when he’d said that my newfound sex appeal would tempt my ex. Raquel had also been right when she’d said that my ex would be jealous of my new man. And as much as sticking to it my ex and the woman he left me for had sounded like a great idea, I feel like shit now that it’s over. Because it was all at the expense of my daughter. Her feelings may have been somewhat irrational and selfish, but she still means the world to me.
Aside from Doris and Gerald, the entire night had been a disaster.
“I am sorry about how things turned out with Kari,” Etienne says as he reaches across the center console for my hand. “But I do not regret coming. I hate to think of what would have happened had I not been there. Daryl would have made a pass at you whether I was there or not.”
“I know.” I squeeze his hand reassuringly. “I’m not upset with you. It’s just apparent that you can never have it all. Good health, love, family and friends, and financial stability. One thing will always go to shit.”
“Just don’t forget that you have me. We can get through anything together.”
I remain quiet. I fear that I’m about to lose that part of my life as well.
~~~
Kari pauses the audiobook one more time. All those years, she’d believed her dad and Emma when they’d said that Taryn had made a pass at him. Hearing her mother’s side of the story, it all makes much more sense. Especially, since after that night, it seems as if her father and Emma remain together in name only. They became distant, living their lives separately. Opting not to divorce for Melanie’s sake, and the sake of the hefty alimony her father would have to pay.
A thought hits Kari, and she jumps up from the couch and strides into her bedroom. She opens her top dresser drawer and digs around. Not finding what she’s looking for, she quickly searches through each drawer. Nothing.