Love is a Lyric (Rockstars Anonymous)

by Michelle MacQueen

  Just Ben Evans.

  13

  Piper

  They’d settled into a quiet summer routine at the Evans house, one that reminded Piper of why she loved this family so much. Julia spent her days puttering around the house, cleaning and fixing things. The woman was seriously a superhero.

  Jonathan always came home from work tired but smiling.

  Chase hung around in the evenings, playing video games with his brother and just being there.

  And Ben… sweet, sweet Ben who Piper had never gotten to know as anyone other than her sister’s Ben, the guy Quinn ran around with as kids, the one she made music with as adults.

  Now, there was no Quinn between them. The band was never far from her mind because their future was still up in the air. As far as she knew, Ben hadn’t decided what he’d do about anything. He went from moping around the house to cackling in laughter around the dinner table.

  It was enough to give a girl whiplash, but she was glad his family lightened the load hanging around his neck. For the last year, she’d toured the world with Fate, surrounded by people who wanted something from them. There were concerts, parties, and after parties. It was every bit the rock tour.

  It was a young man with a guitar’s dream, one most never reached. And yet, as she watched Ben chat with his dad around the fire they’d built in the pit near the deck, she realized she hadn’t seen him that relaxed in a long time.

  His phone buzzed in her pocket. Call her crazy, but she’d taken to carrying both her phone and his in the oversized pockets of her cotton shorts. She hadn’t looked at his messages. That would be an invasion of privacy, but the buzzing didn’t stop. Text after text came in until she couldn’t take it anymore.

  She pulled the phone out, her eyes going wide at the number of messages on the lock screen.

  Drew. That didn’t surprise her as much as it would have last week.

  Dax. He’d told her they knew each other.

  Noah Clarke… Her breath quickened at the thought of the British bad boy.

  Jo… Jackson? The drummer who’d driven her to the airport with Drew.

  Why were they all in a group chat together? Five of the biggest rock stars at the label were… friends?

  She let her eyes linger on the messages.

  Noah: Drew told us what’s up, brother.

  Jo: Yeah, some girl was pathetically upset about it.

  Piper’s eyes narrowed until she read Drew’s message.

  Drew: Lay off Piper.

  She smiled.

  Noah: If you don’t answer one of our million messages, dude…

  Jo: (Eye roll emoji) these boys take RA way too seriously.

  RA? She didn’t get a chance to read the rest of the messages because the phone rang, and Dax Nelson’s name appeared on the screen. She threw the phone into the grass with a scream. One tap of her thumb, and she’d be on the phone with the man whose music haunted her dreams.

  Well, the other man whose music haunted her dreams. Ben’s was better, and she was totally biased.

  Chase gave her a “what the heck” look before going back to his conversation with his mom.

  Piper stared at the phone until it went dark. She lifted her eyes to the flickering flames, trying to make herself believe it was years ago and she’d never left this house. Everything had been so simple then. She and Chase held bonfires with their friends when the weather allowed. When it didn’t, they invited people over for game nights.

  Yes, she was aware how incredibly lame they were, but she’d liked lame. She’d never dreamed of fame like Quinn. She didn’t want people screaming her name and inviting her to crowded parties. Maybe that was why she allowed Quinn to have the songs. The words deserved recognition even if the girl behind them did not.

  Her phone buzzed, and she sighed when she saw Conner’s name. It was probably Quinn because Piper hadn’t been answering any of her sister’s calls. Standing, she excused herself. It was time to deal with this. She couldn’t stay… not angry exactly, more like disappointed.

  “Hey, Quinny,” she answered.

  But it wasn’t Quinn.

  “Piper, thank God.” Conner sounded like he’d been running.

  “What do you want, Conner?”

  “Ouch, harsh. I just want to talk to Ben. You can make that happen, right? He isn’t answering my calls.”

  “It’s no longer my job to make you happy.”

  “But you enjoy it so much.” She didn’t miss the sarcasm in his voice. She’d never been a fan of his.

  “Hanging up now.”

  “No! Wait. Please, Piper. You don’t understand. Everything is on the line. Everything. Fate can’t end over this.”

  “You don’t get it. For once, this isn’t about the music. I won’t help you convince Ben to forgive you. He’ll deal with it when he’s ready.”

  “Piper, you should be thanking me. I cleared the way for you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Quinn was never meant to be with him. But you… you love him in the ways she didn’t.”

  “I don’t… no… you’re…”

  “You wrote the songs.”

  Her breath caught in her throat. “Quinn told you.”

  “I love Ben. I do. He’s my boy, and I want him to be happy. He never would have left her. We both know that.”

  She huffed out a laugh. “You’re trying to tell me you cheated with his girlfriend for his own good?” That was crazier than saying she loved Ben.

  “No, I did that because I’m a self-serving prick. I know who I am. What about you?”

  “No matter what you say, I’m not going to make him talk to you.”

  Conner sighed. “Look, we have songs, but they don’t work without Ben’s music.”

  They had songs… A growl ripped from her throat. “The pages I threw at Quinn. You’re using them.” She never thought her sister would stoop that low. Yes, throwing the songs at Quinn was as good as giving them to her, but Quinn knew what those songs meant to Piper. They weren’t the typical stuff she wrote for Fate. The words helped her make sense of her life growing up. She’d poured every part of her into them.

  The wound Quinn created ripped open once more. “Good luck drawing Ben back into your messed up world, Conner. I hope you and Quinn are happy together. I truly do.” She hung up, cutting off whatever else he’d tried to say.

  Quinn could have the songs, after all, they were only words on a page. But she’d never again have any hold over Piper.

  “You okay, Piper?” Ben asked as she rejoined the circle.

  She nodded, not wanting to tell him about Conner’s call and ruin the peace this family created when they were together. She sank onto the bench next to Chase and leaned into him.

  He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You really okay?”

  “Getting there.” Quinn would always be her sister, but she’d never truly treated Piper like family.

  Ben met her gaze across the flames, and Conner’s words came back to her. “I cleared the way for you.”

  It didn’t make a lot of sense. In fact, it made none. Conner was right about something though. Ben never would have left Quinn if she hadn’t cheated on him.

  Piper had to use that knowledge to keep herself from getting lost in the feelings she now wondered if she’d had all along.

  Piper woke to the sound of a guitar, a soft melody she strained to hear more of. They’d been back in Ohio for a little while now, and she hadn’t so much as seen Ben pick up his guitar.

  A smile tilted her lips as she pulled herself from the bed and stuffed her feet in her slippers. She peeked out into the hall and didn’t see anyone, so she knocked on the door next to hers.

  The music didn’t stop. “Come in.”

  She pushed open the door to find Ben sitting on the edge of his bed, the guitar in his lap. He alternated between playing and writing notes onto a blank sheet. He didn’t look up at her as he held the pencil between his teeth and tried a new c
hord combination.

  Nodding to himself, he wrote something down.

  “Writing a new song?” She leaned against the doorframe.

  He met her gaze. “Trying to. I’ve never really written music without lyrics before.”

  “It sounded good.”

  His face flushed, and he removed his glasses to clean them with the edge of his shirt. “I couldn’t sleep. Did I wake you?”

  She shook her head. “It was nice to hear you playing again.”

  “Yeah… well…” He shrugged, and they both knew what that meant. Without Quinn’s lyrics, without her inspiration, he’d been lost.

  “What made you start this morning?”

  “I don’t know. I guess just being here is finally hitting me. The place. The… people.” He shifted his eyes away. “I was lying here this morning and feeling a little sorry for myself, but I realized it was because of the music, not the relationship. That was what I missed. I don’t need someone else to make music.”

  “No.” She pushed away from the wall. “You don’t.”

  “Do you want to hear what I have so far?” Red crept up his neck like he was embarrassed at his question.

  “Definitely.” She sat beside him on the bed, her leg bumping his.

  His fingers plucked the strings as if they’d never left, as if that was what they’d always been meant to do. He swayed as he played, and she couldn’t take her eyes from the smile on his face.

  She’d expected something dark, something desperate in the song, but it had a sweetness, a hope—even without lyrics.

  Words rolled through her mind, a song writing itself to match the notes. Before she could stop herself, she started humming along.

  It had been years since she let anyone hear her sing, or even let anyone know she could, but sitting there with Ben, it felt right. Quinn sang to get famous, to have that lifestyle.

  But with Piper, it had been as necessary as breathing. She didn’t know when she’d lost that.

  As the song ended, Ben’s eyes met hers as if he saw her for the first time. They sat close, too close, and when he reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, she shivered.

  “How did I not know?” he whispered.

  She knew the answer he didn’t want to hear. Ben Evans had never seen Piper Hayes. To him, she’d always been a kid until she became nothing more than an assistant.

  And to her, he’d been her sister’s boyfriend.

  That thought brought her crashing back to reality, and she pulled away.

  His hand dropped back to his guitar, his lifeline.

  Piper jumped from the bed, her heart hammering in her chest. “Ben…”

  He ran a hand through his bed-wild hair, making it stand on end more than it was before. “Piper, we can’t—”

  “I know. It’s okay, Ben. We’re okay. I just have to go.” She didn’t give him the chance to say anything else as she escaped the room and the air-sucking vortex his presence created.

  Was Conner, of all people, right?

  If he was, if Piper had somehow developed feelings for the most off-limits man she could, this wouldn’t end well for any of them.

  14

  Ben

  By the time Ben took a very long, cold shower and made it downstairs, his parents were enjoying Saturday morning breakfast just like they had every week since he was a kid. They’d called it pancake day, treating their kids to pancakes and bacon. He’d expected it to end once their nest was empty, but they’d continued on—treating themselves now instead.

  “Morning, honey.” His mom smiled. “There are pancakes on the stove. Is Piper coming down?”

  “What?” The question froze him as he thought back to their moment in his room. “How would… why do you think I’d know that?”

  His parents shared a look before his dad hid laughter behind a cough. “You okay, son?”

  “Fine.” He busied himself making a plate of pancakes and sausage—which they had instead of bacon for some reason—before moving to the giant bowl of strawberries his mom cut up. “Thanks for breakfast.”

  “Pancake day?” Piper’s excited voice wound through him, and he forced himself to focus on his plate, not turning. What was wrong with him?

  “Made you sausage.” The affection in his mom’s voice whenever she spoke to Piper both warmed him and nearly killed him, a reminder that Piper was a part of the family, that his parents were practically hers as well.

  “Yes!” Piper practically ran toward the food, and Ben turned away, walking to the table to take a seat next to his dad, using him as a shield against the confusion swirling inside him.

  Piper plopped her plate on the table and slid into a seat before shoveling sausage into her mouth, moaning as she did.

  Ben couldn’t take his eyes off her, off the way something so small made her happy. She looked up, meeting his gaze, her cheeks flushing.

  “What?” She wiped a napkin across her mouth. “Do I have something on my face?”

  Say something, Ben. Anything.

  Her eyes held no memory of their moment with the guitar, or at least no memory she let affect her. Piper had always been the rubber girl, anything that happened, any words directed to her bounced right off, disappearing in the atmosphere. It served her well when Quinn hurled insults, but what about the better moments? Did she not let those in?

  “I can’t believe anyone prefers sausage over bacon.” His joking words broke the tension between them, and a smile tilted her lips. He pointed his fork at his mom. “Or that you let this go on. When I lived here, we always had bacon.”

  Piper stuffed another forkful in her mouth and gave him a closed-mouth smile before swallowing. “Mmm delicious. Ever think your parents just miss me more than they miss you?”

  “That’s impossible.”

  She shrugged in a ‘believe what you want’ kind of way.

  “Okay, children,” his mom said. “We missed you both. But we need to chat.”

  “I’d be chattier if I had bacon.”

  “Spoiled,” Piper coughed out the word.

  “Me?” Ben shook his head. “You’re the one who got sausage this morning while I’m forced to starve.”

  “Bruise your rockstar ego?”

  Ben couldn’t remember ever seeing Piper like this. Around Quinn, she shrank away from everyone, disappearing into the work. It was like her sister snuffed the fire right out of her. Ben could finally see the real Piper Hayes.

  And she intrigued him.

  The girl he’d known his entire life, but never truly known. Was this the girl Chase had always seen? The one his parents loved?

  “I don’t have a rockstar ego.”

  She snorted. An honest to goodness snort. “Okay.”

  He didn’t have a big ego, did he?

  His mom didn’t give him time to contemplate it. “As entertaining as this is, it’s time to talk about what happens next.”

  “Next?” Ben didn’t understand.

  “Son, you are an international star currently sleeping on a twin bed in your childhood room.”

  His dad put a hand on the back of his mom’s chair. “What your mother is trying to say is you can’t stay here forever.”

  “Oh gee, thanks, guys.” Even though he saw the truth in their words, they stung. The last week had been one of the most painful and confusing times of his life. But he’d found a sort of idyllic rhythm, one without constant calls and texts—thanks to Piper—a rhythm where no one wanted anything from him. He wasn’t Ben Evans, front man for Fate. Here, he was Benji, just a guy with legs too long for a twin bed who wanted to play music whether anyone heard him or not.

  When was the last time he’d written anything without thinking of the commercial aspects of the song?

  “They’re not wrong, Ben.” Piper’s gaze met his. “You came here to escape what happened, and I followed, but there are decisions coming for you, decisions none of us can help you with.” How did she see everything so clearly?

  It didn’t hit
him until right then what it meant for her to go work for Drew. Forget the confusion from this morning, over the last couple years, Piper Hayes had taken care of him in ways he didn’t see. She made sure he didn’t screw up, helped him learn songs he felt too dumb to learn.

  “I know.” His shoulders sank, and he pushed his plate away, no longer hungry. “I’m hiding.”

  His mom reached for his hand. “Benji, you will forever have a place here, and you can stay here as long as you want. Don’t think you can’t. But… you have a life, son. A big apartment in L.A., a career. We’d hate for you to throw everything away because Quinn hurt you.”

  “Hurt me? You think this is some simple heartbreak?” He couldn’t meet Piper’s gaze as the words fell from his lips. “I can’t remember singing on stage without Quinn. Did you know that? Every bit of my music is tied to her. My songs, the notes constantly filtering through my head. I can’t play without wanting her with me.” A flicker of pain passed over Piper’s face, but she hid it quickly. That was what she was good at.

  And Ben wouldn’t lie to her. Whatever he’d felt this morning, it didn’t matter, not when the one thing that made him who he was belonged to her sister.

  “She didn’t break my heart, Mom. She broke my music, and that’s worse. So much worse. Because without the music, without the piece of me that belongs to Quinn, I am nothing.” He wasn’t smart or capable of any other skill. Ben was a musician right down to his soul.

  But could he still be a musician without the girl who’d gotten him to where he was? The one whose lyrics pushed him to writing his own music?

  “Honey.” His mom squeezed his hand.

  He had to get out of there, to get away from his parents and their pitying looks, away from Piper and her all-seeing eyes.

  Pushing back from the table, he stood and brushed a hand through his hair. “I-I’m sorry. I just need a bit of space. Don’t worry, though, I’ll be out of here soon.” He looked to Piper. “I think it’s time I have my phone back.”