Love is a Lyric (Rockstars Anonymous)

by Michelle MacQueen

“It’s beautiful here.” Dax turned back to the group.

  Drew sighed. “I called us to order. We can’t talk about the weather or the trees or whatever boring stuff falls out of your mouth, Dax. This is about Ben, and how Quinn is going to rip his balls off.”

  Ben had tried not to think about Quinn or her million phone calls. He hadn’t answered any of them, knowing what she’d say. It was time to put their music first.

  Wasn’t that what Piper wanted him to do? He rubbed his face. “She is, isn’t she?”

  Jo shook her head. “Her sister, dude.”

  “I know.” But they didn’t understand, they didn’t know how Piper had always been there, he just hadn’t seen her. How she brought him to life. None of that mattered though. “And a sister who doesn’t want me.”

  Their looks ranged from sympathy to pity.

  Drew reached over and clapped him on the shoulder. “That hurts, man.”

  “Kinda. Yeah.” More than kind of.

  “All right, gentlemen and lady.” Drew clapped his hands together. “Rockstars Anonymous was put together to help us navigate the messed up world of fame with some allies, and we came here to do just that.” He met Ben’s gaze. “We thought you’d need help with the paps, figuring out how to save your band, but this is so much worse, so alas, we must evolve.”

  Ben didn’t say anything, scared of Drew’s next words.

  Drew grinned. “We are now your love gurus.”

  The group as a whole groaned.

  But Drew didn’t stop. “Rockstars Anonymous must support you in everything, Benny boy. And if that means discussing crushes like a bunch of broads—”

  “Hey,” Jo yelled. “I resent that term.”

  “That’s why I used it.” He laughed. “I’ll continue. If it means discussing crushes like a bunch of respectable ladies—” He cast a look at Jo, seeking her approval. When she nodded, he continued. “—then it is what we must do.” He leaned toward Ben. “My idea is fetch, right?”

  “That’s not how you use that term.” Noah lifted an eyebrow.

  Dax jumped in, much to Ben’s surprise. “You’re supposed to say something is so fetch. But I don’t know if an idea can be fetch.”

  “It totally can.” Noah shrugged. “If it helps, Drew, I think your idea is so fetch.”

  “Still wrong.” Dax crossed his arms.

  “Can we stop debating Mean Girls?” The words burst out of Ben, and he jumped up to pace across the deck.

  “He’s right.” Drew barely contained his laughter. “We’re rockers. None of us are supposed to know Mean Girls. I feel like we just broke down a wall between us. Are we bonding?”

  Ben turned with a growl. “I can’t think.”

  Jo snorted. “Not a new problem for you.”

  Drew held up a hand. “Now now, we came here to help Ben. And help, we shall. Ben, sit down. You’re making me antsy with your pacing.”

  With a grunt, Ben dropped back into his chair. “You all wasted a perfectly good weekend coming here.”

  “That’s what I told them.” Jo leaned forward against her knees. “I mean, Drew was probably just going to lie in bed watching Netflix.”

  Drew crossed his arms. “I was n—okay, I probably was. I gotta be honest. I’m knackered—thanks Noah for the word—and just the thought of this tour coming up makes me feel ten thousand years old.”

  Ben knew exactly how he felt. They weren’t yet thirty, but this life was tiring with its constant stress and activity. “That’s why I came home.” He hadn’t talked to anyone about why he’d chosen to return to Ohio after everything blew up, but this group of people dragged up his deepest thoughts. “Our tour ended, and we were supposed to spend a few months on the beach recuperating and preparing to head into the studio.”

  “And then Quinn and Conner…” Drew cursed. “You know, when I joined you for the first leg of the tour, I suspected something, but I hoped I was wrong.”

  “You weren’t. I just think Quinn knew before I did.”

  “Knew what?” Jo asked.

  “That I didn’t love her.”

  Noah snorted. “Not a far stretch. We all know Quinn Hayes. She’s not an easy woman to love.”

  Ben sighed. It wasn’t just that. He’d always known she was difficult, but he’d overlooked a lot. That wasn’t the reason he didn’t love her. It just wasn’t right, their relationship. “I tried. So hard.” He buried his face in his hands. “What if it’s over? What if Fate is through?”

  None of them answered for a long moment until Dax, the quietest of the bunch, spoke up. “It’s never over as long as there’s music.”

  Drew nodded. “He’s right. The fans will come and go. The money is nice, but it can’t make us happy. But what do you feel when your fingers fly over the strings of a guitar?”

  He hesitated for a moment. “Everything. I feel everything.”

  They all nodded in understanding because they felt it too.

  “And the girl?” Jo asked. “What do you feel when you look at her?”

  That was the question, wasn’t it? “I don’t know.”

  “Bollocks.” Noah raised a brow. “You know.”

  This isn’t love. The problem was, no matter how much he wanted her, she didn’t feel the same way. Piper would always put others first, including Quinn, including Ben and what she thought he needed.

  Drew’s eyes shone as he looked at the group. “Awwww I knew we’d be good at this relationship advice thing.”

  “Even though none of us can keep a relationship going.” Jo laughed.

  “Not true.” Drew scowled.

  Noah nudged her. “I had that girlfriend last year.”

  Dax only shrugged, not denying it.

  Jo pushed away from Noah’s knees. “All right, we’re doing this. Drew, as far as we know, you’ve never had a girl last more than a few nights.”

  “I’m busy,” he grumbled.

  She turned to Noah. “And you broke up with your girlfriend last year because it didn’t sound good when she sang in the shower—after three weeks. I’m pregnant by pretty much the worst human being, and none of us know what the heck Dax gets up to when he’s not with us. Am I missing anything? Ben is our only hope for a stable relationship, and he just fell in love with his ex-girlfriend’s sister.” Her chest heaved like she’d just gone for a run.

  All four men stared at her, their pathetic rockstar lives flashing before them.

  Drew was the first to break the silence. “We’re going to prove you wrong, Joey.”

  She snorted. “Good luck.” Turning her gaze on Ben, she sighed. “Look, Ben, we don’t know everything that has happened between you and Piper, but whether you want to admit it or not, we’re your friends, and we’re rooting for you. If it would make you happy to return to L.A. and record Fate’s new album, great. But if there’s a chance you’ll regret leaving without telling this girl how you really feel, then you can’t go. Not yet.”

  Ben pushed out a breath, replaying the conversation he’d had with Piper, her talk of half-finished songs destined for the trash. She didn’t want to be with him in his crazy world, but could he accept that? Piper had never wanted the spotlight, now whether she chose him or not, it found her.

  Drew’s chair thudded as he scooted it closer to Ben and dropped his voice. “Just remember, Piper is my assistant now. I want her. I need her. Matt leaves me soon and no matter what you say to her, she’s coming on tour with me. She deserves a shot at something more than working for her sister. This job will be good for her. Tell her you love her, claim you want to make it work, but don’t make her hurt her future in favor of yours.”

  Ben would never have imagined depth in Drew Stone, or caring. Because that’s what it was. He barely knew Piper, but he cared about her, wanted to protect her and support her.

  And he was right.

  Piper had an opportunity that could lead to something bigger. A larger position on a bigger tour than Ben had ever been on. Once she excelled at this job
, people would take notice, opening doors for her at every chance.

  Could he really force them closed again?

  “I’m not willing to give up Fate.” The words hurt coming out but only because they were true. His band was everything. No matter what Dax said about the music, playing in Fate was all he knew, the only thing that gave him worth.

  If he wasn’t willing to sacrifice something so integral to who he was, how could he ask Piper to do the same? To become the hidden woman, not allowed to be seen with him for fear of sparking controversy within the band and without.

  He rubbed his eyes. “Jo, I know you think I’ll regret it, but I have to walk away. I know what they’ll do to her.” The media. His fans. “I do love her. I don’t know how, but I feel it in every part of me. And because of that, I have to let her go.”

  Drew squeezed his shoulder, but no one spoke because they all knew he was right and there was nothing left to say.

  “Mel?” Ben glanced at the house behind him to make sure the door was shut. Inside, Drew, Dax, and Noah slept on air mattresses in the living room, and Jo was sound asleep in Chase’s old room. His parents hadn’t batted an eye about having a house full of rockstars, his mom instantly going into hospitality mode.

  Tomorrow, most of them would leave on an early flight, with only Drew staying to fly to L.A. with Ben. Normally, he wasn’t sure how he felt about them when leaving a meeting, but something had changed.

  Mel coughed on the other line as she woke herself up. “I’m here.”

  “Thanks for sending them.”

  “Who?”

  Ben sat on the edge of the deck, his legs hanging over as he looked to the full moon above. “Rockstars Anonymous.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “They’re all there? Drew is in Ohio right now?”

  “Yeah. They showed up this morning to act like the support group you’re always claiming we are.”

  “When you don’t have other obligations, Ben. Rockstars Anonymous was never supposed to interfere with the work.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’ve been trying to reach Drew all day. He missed his pre-tour meeting with the execs.” The kind of meeting they weren’t ever supposed to miss.

  Ben shook his head in disbelief.

  Melanie wasn’t done. “Noah and Jo never showed up to meet their new guitarist in New York. And Dax…” She released a breath. “He was supposed to meet John Legend at the recording studio to work on a song they’re collaborating on.”

  Ben almost dropped the phone.

  “Do you realize how much harder they all made my job?”

  And yet they were here inside his house. “They dropped everything to help me.”

  Her tone softened. “Yes, and I’ll smooth everything over for them, but Ben, it’s time you faced your obligations too. I can only hold off the label and the media for so long. Come home. Let everyone see the reports aren’t true. Make your beautiful music. The world will forget this episode. You’re a man. They always do.”

  He ignored the man dig and let her words sink in. If he hadn’t already decided, he would now. “I’ll be back in L.A. tomorrow night.”

  “Really?” She sounded more relieved than happy.

  “I’m flying in with Drew.”

  “Good.” She paused. “That’s good. You’ll get through this, Ben. And tell Drew that I’m both irritated with him and proud of him for being there.”

  He laughed. “I will. Night, Mel.”

  “Night, Ben. See you soon.”

  He hung up and set the phone on the deck behind him before turning at the sound of a footstep. He hadn’t heard her open the sliding glass door or close it to block the cold air from mingling with the summer heat.

  Piper wore another oversized shirt—she seemed to like those—the sleeves pulled down to cover her hands. He pushed a hand through his hair as he watched her approach slowly, cautiously.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” he asked. They were the first words he’d spoken to her since their conversation in her room, and they sounded lame to his ears.

  She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Didn’t seem like a sleeping kind of night.” To his surprise, she lowered herself to sit beside him. “You?”

  “Uh, no. Not a sleeping kind of night.” He folded his hands in his lap, fighting the urge to reach out and pull Piper closer, to feel the smooth skin of her neck, to taste her lips.

  Once wasn’t enough, but he couldn’t help wondering if it was all he’d get.

  Piper pulled a small stack of papers from behind her that he hadn’t seen her carrying. “Mel sent me the new songs Quinn has. I printed them out for you.” She handed them to him.

  Ben stared down at the music, illuminated by the light on the back of the house. This was why Piper sought him out after avoiding him all day? To give him her sister’s music?

  “You know I won’t be able to memorize these.” He tried to concentrate on the words.

  Piper reached out and took the songs back. “We need to talk about that, Ben. For the past couple years, I’ve been your crutch, the person holding you back.”

  “No—”

  “Wait, listen to me. I won’t be with you anymore. Learning songs together was our thing, and it bonded us probably more than it should have, but you should have been working with someone who could help you. When you get back to L.A., I want you to promise you’ll get help. I can’t stand the thought of you struggling when I’m not there to help you.”

  “Don’t, Piper. Just… you can’t keep saying things that make me want to chuck it all away.”

  “Chucking it all away is stupid.”

  “I know.” He jumped off the edge of the deck to get some distance. “But it doesn’t stop me from wanting to do just that. Every time you open your irritating mouth, you say things that remind me how much you care. About everyone!”

  “How is that irritating?”

  “Because it makes me want to kiss you.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah.” He sucked in a breath and turned to her. “Oh.”

  “I overheard your conversation with Mel.” She changed the subject, her eyes darting anywhere but at him. “Your friends… it’s some kind of support group? How did none of us know about this?”

  “Because it’s secret. We don’t tell anyone.”

  “Not even Quinn?”

  Her question deflated him, and his shoulders dropped. He hadn’t wanted Quinn to know he was a part of something as silly as a rockstar support group. But Piper… her being here, meeting them, it felt right, like she was a part of his life in a way Quinn never had been. “No.” He jumped up to sit next to her again, their shoulders knocking together. “Not even Quinn.”

  That seemed to satisfy her. She reached for the music. “Should we go over the songs?”

  He shook his head. “As you’ve said before, you don’t work for Fate anymore.”

  “That doesn’t matter. I still want to help you.”

  He sighed. “After tomorrow, I’ll have to do it on my own. I don’t think I can take any more of your help.”

  “Tomorrow.” She let the music drop once more. “You’re leaving tomorrow.”

  He nodded, unable to speak past the lump in his throat.

  “Hey.” She traced a finger along his jaw. “If the real world returns tomorrow…”

  He shifted his head so their eyes met as her finger lingered on his lips. Reality would hurt. There was a lot of work to be done to overcome the rumors swirling about Fate. A new album to write and record.

  A persona to once again inhabit.

  After tonight, Benji Evans would fade to the background, letting Ben Evans with his eyeliner and made up hair take center stage.

  His face inched closer. “I just want to be me for a few moments longer.”

  Her eyes searched his, looking for what, he didn’t know. Maybe something to hold on to, something to remember. Because as he pressed his lips to hers, that’s all he wanted.

&nbs
p; Faith. For just a moment, he needed to believe there was hope for them. Her hands slid up to hold his face in place as his arms wound around her back, hauling her into his lap.

  He parted his lips, letting her invade every part of him, his mind, body, and soul. He should have known the moment little Piper Hayes came into his life, nothing would ever be the same.

  But she wasn’t a kid anymore. The woman kissing him wasn’t the same little girl who curled up in his lap after her parents died. She was stronger, more vibrant, full of music and depth.

  And she didn’t belong to him.

  The sound of the door opening broke them apart. Drew and Noah stood in the doorway wearing matching grins.

  Drew lifted his arms like two posts of a goal.

  He didn’t understand.

  This kiss wasn’t a forever kind of thing.

  It was goodbye.

  23

  Piper

  The moment Piper woke the next morning, she knew this wouldn’t be her day. A headache pounded at the back of her skull as she shielded her eyes from the morning light invading her room.

  And then the voices. She recognized them.

  “Quinn.” Scrambling from the bed, she pulled her hair up into a ponytail and tied it with the band from her wrist. Feelings warred within her, both a desire to see her sister, to heal the rift between them, and a knowledge that her presence wasn’t a good thing.

  Piper had never shied away from dealing with her sister. It had been her job as an assistant, but before that, even as a kid, she’d wanted to take care of Quinn, to be the one person her sister needed more than anyone.

  Glancing down at her scrubby pajamas, Piper lunged for her suitcase, digging through it to find something Quinn would approve of.

  “What am I doing?” she whispered to herself. She didn’t need Quinn’s approval of her wardrobe, not anymore. This time in Ohio had been free of stress as she’d lounged around in whatever she wanted to wear, no makeup caked on her face. Did that have to change just because Quinn arrived?

  Sliding the suitcase closed, Piper straightened. No. Quinn didn’t have that kind of hold on her.

  She pushed to her feet and was about the reach for the door when it flew open. Drew ducked in, slamming it behind him. “You have to hide me.”