Maharaja's Mistress

by Susan Stephens

  A rush of impatience hit her at succumbing to feeling sorry for herself—she had things to do. Springing up from her seat at the dressing table, she blundered about, swiping tears from her cheeks. Life wasn’t all passion and romance—so she should get over it; get over Ram—or, go back to wearing an eyepatch and hiding from the world…

  There was only one thing she could do, Mia concluded, snatching up her notes. She had to get over this fantasy affair and get down to work. She had to try to win the contract and prove she could survive without Ram. All this was her fault. She should have left him in the box marked Old Friends where he belonged and never have tried to shoehorn him into the very special box marked Soul Mate. Ram’s soul was dark and complex and she’d had more than enough shadows in her life.

  A brisk phone call from Ram’s PA informed Mia that he would pick her up at eleven sharp. All the individuals tendering for contracts connected to his new home would be given the same guided tour, she was told.

  She was ready on the dot, dressed in the work clothes that had been delivered to her room in accordance with her requests on the requisition sheet, and her mind was focused on the job in hand—pretty much. But there was an enormous elephant in the room—and not the kind she could ride. At some point she had to confront Ram with what the maid had told her. How could she rest until she had heard the truth from Ram’s lips?

  ‘Have you made any progress?’ he demanded when he arrived, shooting a glance at the scatter of architects’ drawings on the central table. He was dressed in work clothes too—blue jeans, heavy boots and a chequered shirt with the sleeves rolled back.

  He looked…amazing, Mia thought—rugged, strong, and dangerously sexy. ‘Some,’ she said. Her heart was beating so violently it was hard to think. She wanted to scream at him, Why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you care for me at all?

  But then he held out his hand and whispered, ‘Come over here.’

  She hated herself for doing just that—and hated him even more for not sensing the turmoil inside her.

  ‘These sketches look good,’ he said.

  And now all she wanted to do was hide the upheaval inside her. Ram mustn’t guess—not if she were to stand a chance of competing with all the other designers he had called in. How unprofessional would that be? Mia can’t contribute any ideas because she’s in love with the boss…‘They’re only preliminary ideas,’ she said more sharply than she had intended.

  Ram shrugged as she ignored his outstretched hand. But how could she take it when touching him would only fill her head full of arranged brides instead of building sites? ‘I need to see the site before I finalise anything.’

  As Ram levelled a stare on her face she realised that he could play this game a lot better than she could—goodness knew what else he was hiding.

  And did it matter when right now she had a job to do? ‘I’ve been trying to work out how best to harvest natural light while protecting the occupants of the palace from frying in the sun.’

  Ram’s lips tugged in a grin. ‘Air conditioning?’

  ‘Of course.’ Her skill was in interior design not heating engineering, but she still wasn’t thinking straight after what the maid had told her.

  ‘Are you ready to go?’ Ram stared at her keenly.

  She wanted to get everything out in the open right now—but how could she when everyone was waiting for them?

  Ram was better at this game than she was, Mia concluded as he went up and down the coach exchanging pleasantries with everyone involved in the project. You would never guess he was hiding anything.

  Maybe he just didn’t see it that way. Maybe she was on the list of those to whom only limited information would be released.

  ‘Okay?’ he prompted, swinging into the seat beside her.

  ‘Okay,’ she confirmed. This was neither the time nor the place—and, in fact, why should Ram tell her anything about his private life? It was she who had blown their relationship up into something more than it was in her mind—though as she looked at his hands, so strong and capable, the thought of them caressing any other woman made her feel physically sick.

  ‘You’ll have to tell me what’s on your mind sooner or later,’ Ram said, catching her off guard.

  ‘I was admiring this,’ she lied, staring at the platinum wristband he never took off.

  ‘And do you expect me to believe you?’ he said. ‘Are we keeping secrets from each other now, Mia?’

  She was so taken aback she could only stare at him, and as he turned in his seat to speak to someone she felt another tidal wave of hurt wash over her. If Ram hadn’t wanted to confide in her, why hadn’t Tom said something?

  Because her brother would never break a confidence. Because Tom would think she had enough to cope with recovering from the accident without filling her in on Ram’s wedding plans…

  ‘My new home will be built on the shores of that lake—’

  ‘You never refer to it as a palace,’ she said, pulling herself round in time to follow Ram’s gaze.

  ‘That’s because I hope it will be a home,’ he said. ‘Mia?’ he prompted as she stared out across the neatly groomed fields to the stretch of sparkling water. ‘If there’s something bothering you, why don’t you just spit it out?’

  ‘There’s nothing bothering me.’

  ‘What do I have to do to make you tell the truth?’

  Ram’s face was close enough for her lips to tingle in response, but this time she wasn’t playing his game. ‘Nothing,’ she said, closing her eyes to shut him out—and failing completely. ‘I was just admiring the scenery…and thinking how well the isolation suited you.’

  ‘Ouch.’

  She turned her face away from him.

  The coachload of interested parties didn’t leave the stunning site of Ram’s new palace until dusk, but Ram’s hand stayed her arm as Mia prepared to board the coach. ‘Not yet, Mia—let them go.’

  She waited while he said goodbye to some of the lovely people she had met who Mia guessed only wanted Ram to stay in Ramprakesh, and who believed that if he was happy with the finished project it would be another tent peg in the ground.

  As the coach drove away he steered her towards a group of frowzy Banyan trees where a skeleton staff had been serving refreshments all day. They offered cooling towels now, and iced tea, but as they started to pack up Mia found herself wondering what Ram’s staff had thought of his proposed marriage. Had they loved his arranged bride? Had Ram grieved for her? Was he grieving now? And then she found that, although her own feelings were mixed up, it was impossible to despise a lost princess; a girl who must have died so very young—

  ‘Did I explain that my plans include a surprise for you?’ Ram said, distracting her.

  She looked at him blankly.

  Taking the towel she now realised she was wringing between her hands, he handed it to an attendant.

  ‘Are we walking somewhere?’ she said as he turned away.

  ‘I thought a ride—I need to clear my head.’

  Ram needed to clear his head? But she couldn’t help but be excited at the thought of riding with him again, and his tense expression softened into humour as if he felt the same way too. ‘I’d better warn you our mounts are evenly matched,’ he said.

  ‘Oh, no…’ Putting a hand to her chest, she pretended disappointment. Turning to look at the two horses cropping grass, she said, ‘I’ll take the grey mare.’ The horse had a strong, compact body, and its ears pricked forward in eagerness as it picked up their interest and lifted its head to look at them.

  Maybe this was just another memory she’d get to cherish—another pain in her heart when she recalled it. But why not? It was such a lovely evening. The colours were extraordinary—tangerine and crimson bleeding into a rapidly darkening sky—and whatever Ram had done, she still loved him; any conditions she might place on their future relationship could come later. ‘Are you sure you want to race me?’ She adopted the old, cocky attitude, hands on hips.

 
‘I’ll even give you a head start,’ Ram offered.

  She laughed. ‘I don’t need an advantage.’

  She left him to mount the black gelding, and, springing into the saddle, she gave a whoop, and was off.

  Ram’s horse thundered alongside her. ‘To the old fort,’ he yelled.

  She should have anticipated this, Mia reflected as she raced ahead of him. He was watching her back, though she suspected his challenge would be coming soon.

  And she was right. When he was sure she was safe on the flat Ram overtook her with ease—waving to her nonchalantly as he powered past. ‘You’ll pay,’ she shouted after him, but her voice was lost in the wind. And then she laughed because sometimes it was just nice to know you’d met your match.

  Her legs had turned to jelly by the time Mia thundered under the stone archway that led into the shade of the ancient fort. ‘You could at least pretend you didn’t get here so long before me.’

  Ram was leaning against a towering cinnamon-coloured wall as if he’d been in that same spot all day. ‘And now you’d better catch me,’ she warned him as she slid to the ground. ‘I’m—’

  ‘Out of practice?’ he suggested, catching hold of her. ‘Okay, so now admit I had you well and truly beat.’

  ‘I’ll do no such thing. You had the better horse.’

  ‘You had first pick.’

  ‘Knowing how fragile the male psyche can be,’ Mia retaliated, ‘I decided to be kind to you.’

  ‘Well, that’ll be a first.’

  She loved the sparring between them even as she felt all the shadows hovering over them. And almost at once, as if her thoughts had transferred to him, the air between them changed, and was charged with all the things they hadn’t said. Wheeling away, she went to care for the horses. She needed time to think—time to work out how to handle her feelings for a man in a relationship that was going nowhere.

  Undoing the girth, she lifted the saddle and then removed the bridle and carefully set them aside. Ram did the same for his horse and then they stood side by side as they watched them gallop towards the nearest grazing. He reached for her, but this time she stopped him. ‘You asked me what was on my mind earlier—I’m afraid you can’t make it right with a hug.’

  ‘Then tell me why you’re upset,’ Ram insisted.

  ‘When were you going to tell me about your arranged marriage?’

  He seemed stunned for a moment, and then he said, ‘Who told you?’

  ‘Does it matter? I found out.’ She felt so shut out again—so hurt. ‘I don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me. You trusted me enough to sleep with me—to bring me here as if we could just pick up where we left off. But we can’t do that, can we, Ram? Because there will always be part of you that stays with her…’

  She was sure Ram could have no idea how menacing his physical presence could be when he was angry, but she had no intention of backing down now.

  Chapter Fifteen

  MIA was facing Ram over a dusty courtyard in the middle of nowhere with a body that shimmered with the knowledge of his anger and a heart that was breaking apart. She had brought him to the same crossroads she was facing. She didn’t want to be his convenient mistress, and yet she had always known he couldn’t offer her anything long-term. He might turn his back on her now and walk away. He didn’t answer to her—he didn’t have to tell her anything. He could ride out of her life and she’d never see him again—

  ‘Did Tom tell you?’

  ‘No,’ she said with feeling. ‘My brother would never betray a confidence.’

  ‘Who, then?’ Ram demanded, bringing his face close enough to frighten most people out of their wits.

  ‘A young girl,’ she said, sticking her chin out, refusing to take a step back. ‘You don’t need to know any more than that—’

  ‘Oh, don’t I?’

  ‘It wasn’t her fault, Ram. No doubt everyone was talking about it—especially when I turned up out of the blue.’

  Brushing past her, he walked towards the well to draw some water for the horses.

  ‘What did you think I’d do?’ Mia demanded, following hot on his heels. ‘Did you think I’d laugh at you? Did you think I’d be shocked to learn that you of all people would accept an arranged marriage?’

  Ram was lowering the bucket into the well and kept his back turned to her. ‘It was a long time ago, Mia.’

  ‘Not that long ago,’ she argued. ‘You must have known all along—that’s how these things work, isn’t it? That’s what you came back for—and somehow I never heard about it so your intended bride must have died while I was in hospital. But if you feel it’s in the past isn’t that all the more reason not to mind talking about it?’

  ‘Why would I want to?’ he said. Having collected the water, he unhooked the bucket and looked as though he was going to walk away and see to the horses without giving her another glance. But she wasn’t so easily put off. ‘You’re not over this any more than I’m over what happened to me—and we never will be if we can’t talk about it.’

  ‘Spare me the amateur psychology,’ he said, walking on.

  As she watched him coolly pour the water into an old horse trough a volcano erupted inside her. ‘So what were you thinking when you slept with me, Ram—when we had sex? Were you thinking about her?’

  He moved so fast she lurched back and almost overbalanced. ‘Don’t,’ he warned with an angry gesture. ‘Just leave it, Mia.’

  But by this time she was shaking with passion. ‘Oh, I see,’ she spat back. ‘Your intended bride was too pure to speak of in the same breath as me. I’m more your—’

  ‘I warned you—’ he said, taking hold of her.

  ‘Let go of me,’ she raged back.

  Lifting his hands, Ram turned his back on her with a snarl of anger.

  ‘I thought you trusted me, Ram. I thought we were friends, but you used me.’

  ‘No more than you used me,’ he said, turning to confront her. ‘There are just some things I never talk about—to anyone, Mia. And that includes you.’

  ‘But not Tom,’ she said, thoroughly fired up by now. ‘And I don’t imagine your arranged bride was shut out either—’

  ‘Leila—’ Ram interjected. ‘Her name was Leila.’

  The tone of his voice was a spear in her heart. She had never heard Ram speak with such reverence, or such regret. But she had to punish herself some more…for doubting him; for hating a poor dead girl. ‘So who was she, this Leila?’

  ‘She wasn’t you,’ Ram said flatly.

  His face was totally shut off to her, and she had to wonder how many spears one heart could survive. She had lost this battle. She couldn’t fight a dead girl who still held a place in Ram’s heart. But she did want to hear about her—she had to hear about her or she would never rest. ‘Go on,’ she said.

  ‘Leila was part of my early life—we grew up as children together in the same royal nursery, cared for by staff.’

  ‘So you formed a unit?’ Mia guessed.

  ‘A tight unit,’ Ram confirmed.

  ‘So Leila was very special to you?’

  ‘She still is.’

  She watched as Ram returned to the well for more water, wondering what her place was in all this. ‘And that’s it?’ she said.

  ‘What more do you want to know?’

  Snatching the bucket from his hand, she tossed it to the ground. ‘I’d like to know where I figure in all this, Ram—or don’t I?’

  ‘I knew you’d overreact if I told you.’

  ‘So you weren’t going to tell me?’ Mia demanded incredulously. ‘Let me tell you what I think, Ram. I can’t believe you, of all people, would agree to an arranged marriage unless you wanted it.’

  ‘I’ve already explained that I was younger and keen to conform.’

  ‘So, what am I to you, Ram—part of your rebellion? Or am I just any woman in your bed?’

  He grabbed hold of her. ‘You’re none of those things—you’re special to me in a very diffe
rent way.’

  ‘Should I be pleased about that?’ She could feel his power and the heat of his body only a whisper away from her, but this time she clung to her pride. ‘I guess I’m everything Leila wasn’t,’ she exploded in a frenzy of failing confidence. ‘Difficult, demanding, and ugly to boot—’

  ‘No!’ Ram raged. ‘Don’t you ever say that. You have to understand, I was a different person then, and if Leila and I had married it would have been a disaster. She was like a sister to me, Mia. It would have been…’ he grimaced ‘…wrong.’

  The thought that Ram might not have wanted to marry Leila was a bombshell she hadn’t expected. She remained silent as he pulled his shirt over his head, unhooked the bucket from the rope and poured the icy water slowly over his gleaming torso, groaning with pleasure as he shook his hair out of his eyes.

  ‘And that’s it?’ she pressed.

  Hooking the bucket up, Ram lowered it again. ‘That’s it. A good friend died. But marriage?’ He shook his head. ‘Back then I still thought I had to go along with tradition.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘Now I make my own rules.’ He let her digest that for a few moments, and then asked if she was reassured.

  More than she had expected to be. ‘I’m sorry,’ she admitted in a subdued voice. ‘It seems I might have jumped to conclusions and been a little hasty this time.’

  ‘This time?’ Ram murmured beneath his breath. ‘Would you like to freshen up?’

  She should have seen it coming. She should have seen a lot of things coming, Mia realised, shrieking at the extremes of temperature as Ram tossed a bucket of freezing water over her overheated body. ‘I hate you!’ she shouted as Ram threw back his head and roared with laughter.