Secrets

by Shannon Pemrick

  I trailed off when I noticed movement in the trees. It hadn’t been the first time in the past few minutes, but I had thought I had only been seeing things. Now, I wasn’t so sure.

  Ryoko turned to look where I was looking. “Did you see something?”

  I shook my head. “Just a squirrel.”

  Ryoko shrugged and went back to washing up. I went to splash water over my legs when I noticed the movement again. This time I knew there was something over there. I hopped off my perch. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Don’t get lost,” Shva’sika teased.

  I snorted and left the water to grab my clothes. I muttered as it took me a while to pull my clothes over my wet body. I should have worn the armor. I wasn’t even sure what the reason was for me to be wearing regular clothes. Sighing with frustration, I barely managed to get my shorts buttoned before I was throwing on my long shirt and buttoning the three snaps, without worrying about anything underneath.

  Crouching low, I snuck into the shadows of the trees and made my way around to the spot I was suspicious about. I ground my teeth in anger when I reach the location and saw the one thing I hadn’t wanted to see.

  “Rylan, we really shouldn’t be here,” Raikidan hissed.

  Rylan sighed. “I know, I know, but—wait, where did Laz go?”

  “Don’t say stuff like that,” Raikidan muttered as he peered around the tree he was hiding behind. “Shit, where did she go?”

  “Murder them.”

  Standing up from my hiding spot and making as much noise as I could, I advanced toward them. “Looking for someone?”

  The two men spun around, their eyes wide with fear, and fell out into the open, causing Ryoko to scream.

  “E–Eira…” Raikidan whispered.

  “L–Laz, it’s not as bad as you t–think.” Rylan tried to defend.

  “It’s not bad?” I roared. “You’re spying on us while we’re bathing, you ass-hat! You shouldn’t even be breathing at this point. Give me one good reason I shouldn’t burn you both to a bloody crisp!”

  The two backed up as I continued my advance, but were forced to stop when Ryoko blocked their retreat. She had dressed quickly and was now ready to give them their justified beating.

  Rylan looked up at her in fear. “Ryoko, please listen. It’s not what you think.”

  “Which one of you wants to die first?” she growled, ignoring his please.

  “Don’t let her have all the fun.”

  Rylan gulped and then looked at Raikidan. “Every man for himself!”

  Without missing a beat, the two scrambled to their feet and dashed off in different directions.

  I counted down. “Three. Two. One.”

  Ryoko was already pursuing Rylan before I finished. I followed Raikidan’s trail, but didn’t try to catch up immediately. I wanted him to suffer, and the longer he ran, the longer he suffered. The voice in my head laughed with glee.

  I stopped pursuing when his scent starting doubling over. I called out to him, my tone too sweet for the situation. “Raikidan, c’mon out.” Silence. “Please, Raikidan.” Silence still for too long. I forced a sigh. “Raikidan, I’ll hear you out, if you come out.”

  Movement in my periphery caught my eye and I turned. Raikidan looked at me warily and I grinned. My grin sent him running, but I didn’t care. I knew he’d run when he realized he had been tricked.

  “Hunt him.”

  “Raikidan,” I cooed.

  Raikidan picked up his pace in response to my call. I could smell his fear, and it was starting to drive me mad. I could hear the voice in my head craving his blood to be spilled, but I ignored it. I didn’t want him dead, at least, not yet. I’d make him suffer first.

  “Raikidan,” I called again.

  “Will you stop calling my name like that?” he demanded. “It makes you sound insane.”

  “Please stop running from me, Raikidan,” I begged. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”

  “We both know that’s a lie.”

  “You sound guilty.”

  “You think I am.”

  “I caught you red-handed.”

  “You won’t give me the chance to explain.”

  I snickered when Raikidan stopped running as a tall cliff blocked his path and left little options to get around it.

  “Nowhere to run now, Raikidan. You can’t climb as well as I can.”

  Raikidan turned to face me. I held his gaze and grinned. He really did have options. There was enough room between us for him to make a run for it, and he could also fly away, so his decision to stand his ground piqued my interest.

  “Let me explain,” he demanded.

  “Kill him and get it over with.”

  “I don’t see what there is to explain,” I replied. “You were spying on us, and that’s not okay.”

  “We weren’t spying on you!” he insisted. “Or, at least, I wasn’t. Rylan thought you guys went the other way to bathe, so he convinced me to follow. We ended up running into you guys, but before I could get Rylan leave, he saw Ryoko, and it was all over.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Raikidan moved closer, all traces of fear disappearing. “I’m telling you the truth. I didn’t watch you.”

  I shook my head. “You’re lying.”

  Raikidan tilted his head. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because you’re male. And all men are the same.”

  Raikidan shook his head. “Eira, I’m a dragon, remember? I’m different than humans.”

  “It makes no difference!” I shouted, startling him. “You’re all the fucking same.”

  Raikidan placed his hands on my shoulders. “Eira—”

  I grabbed him by the shirt and trust my knee into his groin. He fell to his knees and choked in pain.

  “You’re lucky I don’t hurt you more,” I threatened coldly. “The only reason I’m not, is because I can’t stomach being near you anymore.”

  “Finish the job.”

  I spun on my heels and stormed off, leaving Raikidan to suffer alone. I was so angry with him. Or maybe it wasn’t anger. Pain, or sadness maybe? I couldn’t tell. There was so much chaos inside, I didn’t know what I was feeling. I just knew I didn’t want to be around him. He was just as guilty as Rylan in my eyes. He could have left and let Rylan get caught alone, but he chose to stay, and that made his words unbelievable.

  “You should have finished him off. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with him.”

  I stormed into the campsite. Ryoko was already there, and she looked nastier than me. “Didn’t catch him?”

  “No,” she muttered as she stared at the blackened dirt of the empty campfire pit. “Stupid mutt took off on all fours, and I lost him. How about you?”

  “I did. I hurt him. I don’t feel any better,” I replied unhappily.

  Ryoko sighed. “Figures it would be like that.”

  Shva’sika came out of her tent and laughed when she looked at me. “Laz, dear, you may want to change your shirt. You look like you’re about to fall out of it.”

  I looked down and my face flushed. “By the goddess, did I really confront him like this?”

  I rushed to my tent and changed into my armor clothes. I was so flustered it took longer than it really should have. Get a hold of yourself, Eira. When I came back out, Rylan was hesitantly making his way into the campsite. He carried a small lily in his hands, and I knew exactly who he was being cautious of.

  When he noticed me, he looked at me apologetically but I turned away from him. He wasn’t going to be on my good side for a while. Rylan sighed and headed to the empty campfire where Ryoko was sitting.

  At first glance, it looked as though she had no idea he was advancing toward her, but the slight twitching of h
er ears told me otherwise. Rylan knelt down next to her and offered his peace offering, but she turned her body away from him. He attempted to talk with her, but she continued to ignore him. He looked at me for help, but I turned away and he sighed.

  I looked back at the two when I heard the sound of a hand smacked against skin, to find Rylan now sitting on the ground and rubbing the side of his face. Ryoko, on the other hand, was moving to a different spot on the other side of the empty pit. It didn’t take Rylan long to get back up and try to regain her favor. I had to give him credit. He was persistent.

  Ryoko, finally fed up with him, hit him again and walked away, but that didn’t stop him from following her. Rylan stopped his attempt when we heard someone approaching from the direction where I had entered the campsite. Slowly, Raikidan hobbled his way into the campsite.

  “What happened to you?” Rylan asked him.

  Raikidan jerked his head at me and muttered through clenched teeth. “Ask her.”

  Ryoko gasped and choked on some laughter. “Oh my, Laz, you didn’t.”

  “Depended on what you’re thinking I did,” I replied.

  “When you said you hurt him”—she giggled a little—”I didn’t think you meant you hit him there.”

  Rylan cringed and groaned at the thought and looked at Ryoko with apprehension, hoping she didn’t get the same idea.

  I glared at Raikidan. “He deserved it.”

  Shva’sika sighed. “You know what, I’m a little sick of this. Laz, Ryoko, go hunting or collect firewood or something. I think it’s best if you’re separated from the boys a little longer, until things cool down.”

  “Fine by me,” I murmured before disappearing into my tent. When I came back out, I had my bow and quiver in hand.

  Ryoko pushed past Rylan to join me. Rylan sighed quietly, as if he had given up. I was starting to feel bad, but I wished I didn’t. He put this on himself, and now he was going to have to deal with the consequence.

  We ate in silence around the campfire. Ryoko and I sat on one side, while Raikidan and Rylan sat across from us. Shva’sika sat between us, and from time to time I caught her glancing at us and then the boys. Ryoko and I still hadn’t spoke a word to them, much to both the boys’ and Shva’sika’s dismay. Shva’sika had hoped that by the time we came back with something to eat, we would have been more willing to hear the boys out, but we had ignored them completely.

  I looked up from my food when Shva’sika gasped, to find her staring up at the sky. Ryoko and I gave each other funny looks, and then looked up at the sky.

  “I saw a shooting star,” Shva’sika whispered.

  “Make a wish,” Ryoko murmured.

  I continued to stare up at the sky, hoping to see another, but the sky stayed dark. Sighing quietly, I went back to eating.

  Ryoko gasped. “Another one!”

  I looked up again, and this time I saw one as well. And then another. “I don’t think they’re just shooting stars.”

  Ryoko looked at me excitedly and took off into the woods, her plate of food clattering to the ground. Shva’sika looked at me in confusion, and I motioned for her to follow as I put my plate down.

  I followed Ryoko’s heavy scent as she bee-lined it to a large meadow just west of the campsite. The four of us finally caught up with her at the edge of the meadow, and arrived just in time to watch the meteor shower. Ryoko bounced around in excitement, and Shva’sika was watching with awe.

  Ryoko giggled. “Make a big wish!”

  I watched as she closed her eyes to wish for something. I was curious what the wish would be. She never told anyone about her wishes, for fear they would never come true, even long after she had made it.

  When she opened her eyes, she looked at me. “Aren’t you going to make a wish, Laz?”

  I shook my head and ventured out into the meadow. “My one wish will never come true.”

  She sighed sadly as I continued to walk away. As I did, my eyes were taken off the sky when small flashing lights were caught in my periphery. Shva’sika giggled and started to run around like crazy, like some small child. It wasn’t long until Ryoko joined her, the two of them stirring up hundreds of fireflies. The two women giggled and continued to have their fun. Watching them brought a small smile to my lips.

  “Can this night get any cooler?” Ryoko asked out loud.

  “Looks like it’s about to,” Raikidan said.

  I glanced at him, and then in the direction he was looking. My eyes grew wide at what I saw. Large Luna Moths fluttered out of the dark forest and into the night sky. Both Shva’sika and Ryoko stopped running around and watched as the eclipse of moths flew over and around us. The fireflies continued to fly around and seemed to make a light trail behind the moths, giving a magical feel to them.

  “It’s so beautiful…” Ryoko whispered. “And they’re so huge!”

  “Unusually huge,” I observed. “They shouldn’t be more than a few inches long.”

  “In certain years, they grow larger than normal,” Raikidan explained as he attempted to stand next to me. I turned away from him and he sighed.

  “But that’s only a select few,” Shva’sika protested. “The likelihood of a whole group of moths growing to these sizes is almost impossible.”

  “Almost, but not completely,” Raikidan replied. “There is a chance large numbers can, especially if the season is good.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” Shva’sika mused as she watched the eclipse of moths break up, ruining their mystical line.

  “Why are there so many?” Ryoko asked.

  “It’s the end of their mating season,” Raikidan said. “Though, I’ve never heard of so many clustering in an area during this time.”

  As I gazed around, tiny legs touched my shoulder. Looking, I found a large moth perched there.

  “You must be really special to be graced by these creatures twice,” Raikidan remarked.

  I only glared at him in response and put my focus back on the moth. Lifting my finger, I encouraged the moth to move onto it so I could get a better look at it. I looked the moth over until I heard Ryoko giggling. When I looked up, a smile appeared on my face. Ryoko had three moths perched on her, and Shva’sika was getting the same treatment.

  I glanced darkly at Raikidan. “Guess I’m not as special as you thought, not that it’s surprising.”

  Raikidan shoved his hands into his pockets and looked elsewhere. The moth flapped its wings and flew off, pulling my attention away from him. I watched as the eclipse of moths spread out across the meadow and disappeared into the night. The meteor shower was now long gone, and even the fireflies had nestled down into the blades of grass.

  The moon and scattered stars were the only things left in the night, and they didn’t hold my attention for long. I turned and headed back to the campsite, the excitement of the event quickly fading.

  The thick canopy above me rustled in the light breeze. I lay on my back, exposed to the elements, and stared into the darkness of the night. Everyone had gone to bed hours ago, but I still remained awake. I didn’t feel the least bit tired, and I was bored. There was no reason for me to be awake.

  Sighing, I sat up. There was no point in lying down anymore. I sighed again when I looked around the campsite. Only Raikidan and I ever chose to sleep outside the tents, and Raikidan didn’t really have much of a choice. Why did I always have to be different? It’s not like I couldn’t sleep in the tent. I just chose not to.

  With another sigh, I stood up and headed out of the campsite. I didn’t know where I was going, and frankly I could barely see in front of me to know for sure, but I still stumbled my way through the forest. I continued to pick my way through until my feet brought me to the edge of the meadow. I gazed around before I cautiously ventured in. There was nothing special about this meadow, so I wasn’t s
ure why I came here. There were no animals, no activity; just peaceful stillness. I sat down and stared up at the starry sky. I watched as they twinkled, and I felt a strange feeling come over me. Then I did something I never thought I’d do at a time like this.

  “I wish you were here, mother,” I whispered. “I really need your guidance. I need help. You were the only one who ever understood. You were the only one who could help me when I was lost and confused… When feelings I didn’t understand put me in states of confusion, you knew what to do. Why did you have to go? I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to lose the only normal thing in my life. Why can’t you come back and help me? Why am I not deemed ready to see you? What am I doing wrong?”

  The stars’ twinkling was the only response I received. I sighed and pulled my legs up to my chest. I was on my own, again. Not even the one person who had ever truly understood me could help anymore. I felt… alone.

  I looked up in surprise when Raikidan sat down next to me. He didn’t speak to me. He didn’t even acknowledge me. I didn’t know how to react to him being here. It would be stupid of me to think he didn’t hear what I had just said, but why wasn’t he saying anything?

  “Eira, I’m sorry for upsetting you,” he didn’t look at me as he spoke quietly.

  I stared at the ground. Could I forgive him? I swallowed. Of course I could. It wasn’t like it was him I was actually mad at. He just made a good scapegoat, and that wasn’t fair.

  “Don’t be, Rai. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He looked at me this time but I didn’t look at him. “I shouldn’t have hurt you. I should have heard you out. You’re right. You’d have no reason to spy.”

  “Eira, don’t take it like that. You’re a beautiful woman. I didn’t mean for it to sound otherwise.”

  I shook my head. “What would you know, Raikidan? You’re a dragon. You don’t think like us humans.”

  “Just because I don’t think exactly like you, doesn’t make it any less true. You see how the men react to you at work.”

  “They treat me like an object. I have an ass, breasts, and I breathe, and that last part is sometimes optional for them. I’m hard to get, and that makes it some exciting game to them. What more do they have to see?” I looked up at the sky. “Not that it matters. I don’t even care anyway.”