Secrets

by Shannon Pemrick

  I let out a slow breath of relief. One person avoided. Now the next issue was avoiding anyone else who would have seen me.

  “Eira, don’t freak out,” Raikidan whispered low into my ear. “And keep your mind open so it makes it easier for me to get us out of here.”

  “What—”

  He spun me around, stopping my words from coming out, and held me close. A lump formed in my throat and no amount of swallowing would push it away.

  “Relax,” Raikidan hushed. “You can’t shift if you’re tense.”

  I blinked. That’s what he was doing? How would making us shift get us out of here?

  “Just relax.”

  I exhaled and gave it a shot. If it meant I’d be safe from the curse Lakon put on me then I’d give it a shot. My eyes closed and my body relaxed, only to remember my clothes weren’t ready for a shifting process. Quickly, I willed up the enchantment from my memory and placed it on my clothes before it was too late.

  I forced my eyes to stay closed when a tingling sensation rushed over my body. It wasn’t until Raikidan’s large presence disappeared that I opened them again. I tilted my head and looked around as best as I could. The world was much larger than me, and my head didn’t turn like I was used to. A small chirp escaped my throat, startling me. A small bird next to me chirped in response and hopped around a little to get my attention. I stared at the bird for a moment, only to realize it was Raikidan. He had turned us into sparrows.

  Raikidan hopped around some more, and then it dawned on me. I didn’t know how to fly. An angry chirp escaped my beak as I thought this. How was this supposed to help us if I couldn’t even get off the ground?

  “Eira, Raikidan wants you to follow him,” Seda messaged.

  “Seda, how am I supposed to do that if I don’t know how to fly?”

  She chuckled. “I’ll help you. Now move those little feet of yours to get used to them, and then try to get off the ground. Also, I’ll be sending someone to retrieve your hair clip for you. The spell didn’t work on that. And don’t worry, it didn’t break from the fall.”

  I sighed mentally and did as asked. I was wobbly on these skinny legs, but I got used to them quickly. Once that tiny ordeal was over, my bigger challenge was next. I jumped around some more to give me the time to figure out how to get my wings to do what I wanted.

  My first attempt to get off the ground was a flop, and my next few attempts weren’t much better, either. My wings were heavy to me, and wouldn’t do what I wanted. I made another attempt, and this time my wings moved like they were supposed to. “Thank you, Seda.”

  She chuckled, but otherwise remained quiet. Raikidan took off after me and together we darted around the corner of the alley back into the main street. Raikidan’s movements were sporadic and hard to keep up with, but I did my best. I didn’t know where he was leading me, but I followed nonetheless.

  When the park came into view, I would have laughed had it been possible. Of course he’d lead me here, and what better place to hide from rabid people?

  “Eira, you’re going to need to pick up your pace a little bit,” Seda informed me. “Raikidan is having a hard time keeping you both shifted.”

  “Okay, let me just tell the wings I don’t normally have to move faster,” I replied.

  Seda laughed. “Here’s a push.”

  A burst of energy rushed through my tiny body, allowing me to keep up with Raikidan. Though once he realized I had caught up to him, he picked up his pace too, irritating me. The two of us darted into the tree line of the forest and looked around for a secluded place.

  By the time we found a good area, I could feel my shifted state wearing off. My body was becoming heavier, and it was harder to use my wings. I dashed to the ground as best I could, but before I made it, my body shifted back and I was forced to land on my own two feet. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to prepare and when my feet hit the ground, I fell and rolled.

  Raikidan rolled on top of me when I stopped moving, and the two of laughed raucously. I wasn’t sure what was so funny, but I couldn’t stop.

  “Aio eny suvy,” Raikidan murmured.

  I stopped laughing immediately and furrowed my brow. “What?”

  Raikidan stopped laughing and looked down at me. “Uh, nothing.”

  “No, what did you just say to me, Raikidan?”

  Raikidan shook his head. “It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

  “All right.” Who was I to press?

  Raikidan pulled away from me, allowing me to sit up. The light breeze played with my hair, and I leaned back on my arms to relax; the horrors of today’s earlier events fading away.

  “You did well today, Eira,” Raikidan complimented. “You have a beautiful voice. You really should sing more often.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to. I told you, it’s a personal thing for me. It made me uncomfortable doing that.”

  “It made your friends happy.”

  “I made them happy at the expense of my own happiness, but sometimes, I don’t want to make them happy.”

  “Eira…” He reached over and touched my face.

  Zarda grabbed my face. “I made you. Everything you are is because of me. You’re not as perfect as I had wanted, but you’ll do. You will do everything I say, and you will give me everything I want.”

  My pulse picked up and I jerked away from his touch. “Please, don’t do that.”

  “Why? What’s wrong with what I just did?”

  “I don’t want others in my space.”

  “Eira, that’s not the reason. What I did wouldn’t have caused that kind of reaction if it were. You can’t lie to me.”

  I looked away and pulled my legs up to my chest. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  He rested his free hand on the wall and leaned in. My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat.

  “Why not? How do you expect me to understand if you don’t tell me?”

  I clenched my hands into fists and tried to stop myself from shaking. “I… I don’t want to think about it…”

  Raikidan moved closer to me and rested his hand on my shoulder. “Eira, what am I missing?”

  I sighed and attempted to calm myself. He wasn’t going to let up, but I didn’t want to talk about it. It hurt far too much to think about it.

  “You belong to me and I will have you.”

  “Eira…” he murmured.

  “Just stop, Raikidan!” I pushed him away. “Just stop, please. It hurts too much…” I rested my chin on my knees and resisted the urge to hide my face in my arms. I didn’t need to look any weaker than I felt. Raikidan brushed my cheek as he tucked some of my hair behind my ear, and I sighed. “I was created to kill, but… but I was created for another reason too.”

  Raikidan’s hand slid back to my shoulder. “Eira?”

  “Zarda was obsessed with my mother, but she denied him over and over. Then he created me. I… I was made to be his in every sense of the word. But I refused him, like my mother, and it pissed him off. He was determined to have me, and no action was beneath him to try.”

  Raikidan’s grip on my shoulder tightened. “Eira, he didn’t—”

  I shook my head. “No, but he tried. If it hadn’t been for my mother, he would have.”

  “You didn’t fight back, though.”

  “I couldn’t. I told you, we all have weaknesses, and Zarda knows them all. I couldn’t protect myself, and if it hadn’t been for the soldier who had been forced to leave me in Zarda’s hands, my mother wouldn’t have saved me.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  I took a deep breath. It was becoming harder to deal with this memory. “I had been ordered to be brought to his chambers and left there, against protocol. Because of this, one of the soldiers who had es
corted me there had gone to find my mother to tell her. She and Rylan came in just in time to save me.”

  Instead of speaking, Raikidan pulled me into a hug so tight, I thought my body would be absorbed into him, taking me by surprise. I didn’t fight it. I embraced it. The pain of remembering hurt, but the pain of keeping it all a secret ebbed. I had suppressed the pain for so long, it felt good to tell someone. It felt right for someone to know so they could understand.

  “He shouldn’t have done that to you,” Raikidan growled. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that. You shouldn’t have to feel his grasp on you anymore. I can help you, Eira, if you let me. I can help free you from him.”

  “How?”

  Raikidan pulled me into his lap and continued to hold me close to him. A lump formed in my throat. I understood what he meant and I wasn’t comfortable with it, but I knew it was the only logical way. I had to face the problem head on.

  “I’ll put you back together,” he whispered.

  The lump in my throat grew bigger. He understands. He understood the song and understood how broken I really felt.

  I nodded. “I don’t want to be controlled by him anymore. I don’t… I don’t want to be a broken toy.”

  “You’re no toy, Eira, and I’ll prove it to you.”

  Chapter 10

  (Ryoko)

  Itossed the flying disk for Rylan to run after, and then looked over to where Raikidan and Laz were sitting on a park bench. Laz sat on his lap while pretending to read a book. I grinned slyly and focused on Rylan as he came back with the toy. Seda told us about Raikidan and Laz’s little deal, and specifically told me not to see their actions as more than him helping her with her personal issues, but I couldn’t help but hope. Laz never let anyone help. She never let anyone get that close.

  Rylan lowered his head and kept his voice low. “Ryoko, focus on the assignment, not Laz.”

  “I can’t help it,” I said. “Something feels different about what’s going on with them.”

  “Or you’re just hoping that it’s something more.”

  I sat down and sighed. “Is that wrong of me? I want her to be happy.” I looked up at the two of them when Laz started laughing. “I know he’s not human, but maybe that’s not what she needs.”

  Rylan lay down on my lap. “She needs time, Ryo. The things she’s experienced have made her reluctant to trust.”

  “You referring to you, or Tannek?”

  “I didn’t cause her any pain. I only annoyed her. No, I was referring to the crap Zarda put her through, and what happened with Amara and how it affected Laz, and”—he sighed—”and Tannek, yes. And yes, before you ask, I did feel some hatred toward him when he died and she withdrew. And I hated that my advances were still being rebuffed long after he was out of the picture.”

  “What about now?”

  He shook his head. “She’s just a friend now, Ryoko, and I like it that way.”

  “That’s nice, but that’s not what I was asking. I want to know if you still hate him.”

  “No. I realized my hatred was irrational since he didn’t intentionally get himself killed. I do still hate that she’s so closed off, but I can’t blame her for being so afraid.”

  “So, I’ll go back to my original question. Is it wrong for me to hope something deeper is happening between Raikidan and Laz?”

  Rylan sat up and licked my cheek, making my heart swell, yet it made me feel uncomfortable at the same time, since he was in his dog form. “No, it makes you a good friend for wanting her to be happy. Just be careful not to meddle too much too quickly. You don’t want to smother any possibilities just because you’re desperate.”

  I smiled. “Thank you. And for the advice as well. I’ll try to keep it in mind.”

  Rylan picked up the flying disk and wagged his tail. I chuckled and stood up to throw it. We continued this exercise for some time, while keeping an eye out for activity pertaining to the mission. We didn’t stop until Laz closed her book and called for us.

  I took my time cleaning up the toys I had brought for Rylan, and watched Laz and Raikidan head for the car. Raikidan reached behind Laz and rested his hand on her hip. She tensed with discomfort and her cheeks tinted several shades, surprising me.

  This gesture wasn’t anything new for him in this last week of him working with her. Hand holding and holding her close while walking, whether it be by her shoulder or hips, had been the first gestures he had started with. Then it had progressed to more personal space-invading actions like lap sitting and what should be cuddling, but was mostly Eira fighting Raikidan’s strong death holds. I honestly found it funny when this went on, and secretly hoped it would continue when we got home.

  Rylan, unhappy with how slow I was being on purpose, grabbed my backpack the moment I zipped it up and ran off toward the car. “Hey, get back here!”

  I sprinted after him and passed Laz and Raikidan on the way. “See you at the car.”

  “Oh, okay,” Laz managed to say.

  I sighed with relief when I reached Rylan and the car. “I did not need that extra workout, thank you.”

  “I thought you’d want to observe from this angle,” he said.

  “What, now you’re in on this?”

  “I never said I didn’t want her to be happy. I’m just not getting my hopes up.”

  “Right.” I smiled at Laz when she and Raikidan showed up. “Ready to leave?”

  Laz pulled the car keys from her pocket and unlocked the car. “Hop in.”

  Once Rylan and I were in the back seat, Laz and Raikidan slipped into the front and Laz pulled out of the parking spot. Raikidan grabbed her hand when she rested her arm on the console, and I did my best not to smile or laugh when she glared at him. She agreed to this treatment, but she wasn’t exactly going along with it as willingly as she should be. Oh, typical Laz. She didn’t know a good thing when it landed in her lap… or she landed in his lap.

  Laz looked at me through the rearview mirror. “What?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  She snorted and continued driving. When we arrived and parked, no one spoke as we all climbed out and headed for the stairs. Once in the living room, Laz went to see Genesis to give her a rundown of our lack of success, and I put my supplies away before finding something to eat. As I prepped to cook something on the stove, Laz came out into the living room and Raikidan invited her to watch some TV with him. She hesitated, but then accepted the invitation, and I kept an eye on the two as I cooked.

  Just as I was finishing cooking the bacon in my skillet, I noticed Laz starting to nod off. She hadn’t gotten the chance to sleep much last night, thanks to an assignment Genesis sent her out on, so it didn’t surprise me that she was struggling to stay awake now.

  I cracked eggs into my skillet and out of the corner of my eye I noticed her start getting a bit cuddly with Raikidan. He watched the action movie playing and absently moved his arm from the back of the couch to Laz’s shoulder. At the same time, his eyes also grew heavy. I bit my lips to keep quiet and continued to cook. Danika walked into the living room and one look at the two “fake” lovebirds on the couch she grinned and walked out.

  “They are fake lovebirds, Ryoko,” Seda messaged telepathically from wherever she was in the house. “I’ve already told you not to get ahead of yourself.”

  “I’m sure there’s something there. Even something small. Why else would this be going on?” I said.

  “Because he’s the only one she would trust to help her like this?” Seda said. “She’s too wary of humans.”

  I turned off the burner and slid the eggs onto my plate. “Tell me, Seda, is there a possibility for them? Even a slim one? And if not with him, with someone who can make her happy?”

  She was quiet for a moment. “If Laz can let go of the past and m
ove on, then yes.”

  “To which part of my question?”

  “I can’t tell you that.”

  “Seda!”

  “I’m sorry, Ryoko. She has to make a few more choices before I know that.”

  I sighed. “Very well.”

  “Don’t meddle where you don’t belong.”

  “It’s my job to meddle. Not like she won’t return the favor someday.”

  Seda chuckled. “Just be careful. You don’t want to be the reason it doesn’t work out between them.”

  “Don’t worry about that.”

  I poured a glass of milk and then looked at Raikidan and Laz, who were now totally zonked out. Laz was curled up to him with her head nestled under his chin, while Raikidan remained sitting upright with an arm over her shoulder. My stomach fluttered with happiness. I had to meddle. This scene was just too perfect for me not to.

  I unclipped my communicator from my belt loop and attached the device to my head. I played with a few settings and the digital visor wiped across my eyes. Looking at the two sleeping birds I played some different settings until I had the right composition and then pressed the call button that had been temporarily changed to an action button.

  The communicator flashed and a small image appeared in the corner. Content with the image, I accepted it and then removed the communicator from my head and reattached it to my belt so I could develop the image later. I’d take more in time, as long as this kept up. I prayed it would. Laz needed someone—someone who truly cared about her. She needed to know she didn’t have to be alone.

  It didn’t matter to me Raikidan wasn’t human. I was created from someone who was the product of that missing barrier. It was Raikidan’s non-human nature that allowed him to think in a different way than a human—a way that somehow allowed him to understand her when so many before him had failed.

  Maybe, because he wasn’t human, Laz would be able to let go of her fears and let him in.

  Chapter 11

  (Eira)

  The air smelled of blood and burning bodies. Men, women, and children screamed in fright as they were hunted down. I stalked down an alley, listening to anyone who may be hiding. I stopped and faced a broken door when quiet whimpering caught my ears. Knocking the door down to the dilapidated house, I went inside and looked around. Huddled in a corner were a woman and a small child. The woman held onto the girl tighter as I laid eyes on them and advanced.