Secrets

by Shannon Pemrick

  My hands tightened around my waist. I’m just angry because of how unfair—

  “Laz, is that you down there?” Ryoko called. I thought I caught a small laugh in her voice. “I heard Zo’s cursing outside.”

  Collecting myself, I stormed up the stairs. Zo didn’t matter. None of that did. I had been forced to go out on date with him, although Satria knows why he even asked, and it had been just as awful as I had imagined it would be.

  “So how was your date?” Ryoko teased.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I muttered as I headed for my bedroom.

  “Oh c’mon, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

  “If you wanna find out, you go out with the ass-grabber next time.” I slammed my door shut.

  “Yikes, that is bad,” Ryoko mumbled.

  I sighed as I rested against the door. Why had he even asked? Soldiers hooked up for a night and then it was done. There were plenty of women who wouldn’t mind being a one-night stand. Some even preferred it.

  So why waste time chasing me? What made him think it was worth it? Not that the end result he wanted would ever happen, but still, why? Was I really worth it?

  I kicked off my shoes haphazardly and then flopped down on my bed, uncaring that I was still in my date clothes. Minutes passed and I couldn’t stop wondering, why? I didn’t even want to continue the thought. The answer didn’t matter, but my brain wouldn’t let it go.

  I sat up when someone knocked on my door. “Yeah?”

  “It’s me,” Ryoko replied. “Can I come in?”

  “Sure.”

  The door opened and Ryoko came in. “Hey, um, I know you just got back and all from your date, but Genesis wants us to go out and blow a few places up.”

  I sighed. “I can’t get a break, can I?”

  “Sorry, I know you’d like some time to relax.”

  “It’s fine. We should be out on more assignments anyway.”

  “Well, I’ll meet you upstairs, then. The guys are getting everything ready for us so just wear something comfortable.”

  “Sure.”

  When she left, I sighed and dragged myself off my bed. Changing into something better than my night clothes, I headed out to join Ryoko on the roof. Rylan and Raikidan didn’t take much longer than me, and once they handed us our weapons and supplies, we split into two groups and headed out to our locations.

  I rested my gun against a wall and messed with the setting on my communicator until my signal came in better. “Let me know when you guys are ready.”

  “Sure thing,” Raikidan replied.

  He had been abnormally quiet tonight. That had just been the first thing he’d said to me since I had gotten back. I had expected him to show up in my room while I was stewing, but I remained alone the entire time. Though, he wasn’t my concern right now. Ryoko was also acting weird. She had teased me when I had gotten home, but now she was quiet and lost in thought. It was like something had happened in that short time.

  My brow furrowed when Ryoko dropped her gun and slid to the ground against the adjacent wall. “Ryoko?” She stared at her feet instead of answering. Something definitely wasn’t right. I moved closer to her. “Ryoko?”

  Ryoko pulled her legs up to her chin and buried her face into her arms. I froze when she began to sob. Why was she crying? What was going on? What was I supposed to do?

  “Eira, we’re ready,” Raikidan called in.

  “Um, one sec. Ryoko and I are trying to figure something out now,” I replied.

  “All right.”

  I touched Ryoko’s shoulder. “Ryo? Ryo, what’s wrong?”

  Ryoko flung herself at me and continued to sob. I lightly touched her shoulders and tried to figure out what to do. “I… I can’t d–do it…”

  “Ryoko?”

  “I… I just can’t.”

  I sighed. I was starting to get what was going on here. “Ryoko, this is about Rylan, isn’t it?”

  She nodded and I sighed. This was a bad time, but it couldn’t be helped.

  I pressed a button on my communicator to start transmitting my signal. “Raikidan.”

  “Are you finally ready? I want to move from this spot.”

  I ignored his attitude. “Change of plans. Something came up and you guys will have to do this without us. Our side isn’t as important anyway.”

  “Eira, what’s going on?”

  “I can’t say. Just… just do your end of the job, and we’ll meet up with you guys back at the house.”

  “Eira, wha—”

  I pressed the power button to my communicator, cutting him off. He was to finish the job, and I was to tend to my comrade—no—my friend’s needs. I rested my hand on her head and began stroking it in a soothing manner. “Talk to me, Ryo. I may not be good with words, but we both know I’m good at listening.”

  Ryoko pulled away and sniffled, a look of defeat clear on her face showing me how much this had been eating at her. “I’m… I…” She sighed. “I’m done. It’s time I started thinking like you. I can’t keep believing in fairytales.”

  “Ryoko, I need you to be just a little more clear, for me to understand.”

  She sighed again and leaned against the wall. “He really doesn’t care about me in the way I want him to. In the way you keep insisting he does. I’ve foolishly waited decades for nothing to happen. Even Raid seems like he likes me a little. I’m not stupid. Or blind. I see how he gets when I’m hanging out with Rylan or when I’m trying to snake out a little extra from a customer at the shop. I see that it bothers him. But Rylan… Rylan doesn’t get like that. He just…”

  She stopped talking and stared at her feet. I was at a loss of what to do. Rylan really did care for her and I wanted her to be with him because he could make her happy, but her waiting for what seemed like nothing, wasn’t fair. It hurting her far too much and that wasn’t right.

  “I’m sorry, Laz. I know you’re not good with this kind of stuff, but it’s nice to be able to actually get it off my chest.”

  I leaned against the wall next to her and stared up at the sky. “No, I’m the one who’s sorry, Ryo.”

  “Why?”

  “For getting your hopes up. I really thought I was right about this. I guess I was blind and saw nothing.”

  Ryoko grunted. “You, blind? What would blind you?”

  “Your happiness,” I said. She looked at me. “I just want you to be happy, Ryo. I thought… I thought he would be the best to make you happy. I was wrong. I don’t want to see you cry anymore.”

  “So, you think I should see if Raid does like me?”

  “Would that make you happy? Would he make you happy?”

  Ryoko rubbed her leg. “Maybe. I won’t know unless I find out if he really does like me, or if I’m just dumb and desperate.”

  I shook my head with a small chuckle. “You’re neither dumb nor desperate.”

  “Yeah I am. It was because of your date that I lost it.”

  I sighed. “So it was the date. I figured as much.”

  Ryoko’s eyes widened. “No, no, no, no, don’t think of it like that, Laz! You going on a date didn’t upset me. Well, it did a little, but not a lot like you think. What upset me was the fact that you went on a date with someone you don’t like, and had an awful time. You were miserable, and it made me think of how I have been feeling for a while.”

  “But the date itself did upset you.”

  Ryoko nodded. “You don’t want to go on dates. You don’t want to find someone. But I do want that. I want someone to fill that void I feel. I guess, even though it was a bad date, I was a little jealous.”

  “Well don’t be. You weren’t missing out on anything.”

  “It was really that bad?”

  I rolled my eyes.
“Bad doesn’t begin to describe it. Even I know dates are supposed to be better.”

  “Well you were still asked out, ‘cause the weirdo likes you.”

  She stuck her tongue out and I laughed. I then frowned. “For the record, Ryo, if I could be myself, like you, Zo wouldn’t have ever asked me out.” I stared at my hands as they hung over my knees. “He just sees me as Eira. He only knows Eira. He doesn’t know Laz. He would stay as far away as possible if he knew her. Even Rylan prefers Eira. Always has. So, be glad there’s someone out there who likes you for the real you.”

  “But we don’t know if Raid really likes me.”

  “Well you’re just going to have to find out.”

  Ryoko nodded and stood up. “Thanks for listening to me, Laz. You’ve always been good at making me feel better.”

  “Just promise me you’ll make choices that’ll make you happy.”

  “Promise. And for the record, I like Laz more. She’s real.”

  I sighed. “Real, but not likable.”

  Ryoko shook her head. “You’re wrong, and one of these days you’ll see that. Now let the boys know we’re doing better and let’s get this assignment finished so we can go home.”

  I nodded and clicked my power button as she headed off. I froze when my communicator powered down. Oh shit. I pressed the power button again and waited for the few seconds it took to power on and connect me with Raikidan. “Raikidan?”

  “We haven’t moved.”

  I gulped. “Did you—”

  “Yeah, we heard. You didn’t shut off your communicator.”

  I sighed. “Perfect.”

  “How’s Ryoko?”

  “Fine. She went ahead of me. She looks better than she has in a while. How’s Rylan?”

  “Pissed off and beating himself up. Stormed off before you came back to talk.”

  “Perfect. Now he’s going to hate me.”

  “Does that matter?”

  “What?”

  “It’s not your fault, Eira. It’s his. If he had half a brain and had really cared, he wouldn’t be in this situation. You were just doing what you’re supposed to. You were thinking about Ryoko’s happiness, which Rylan was ruining.”

  I sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

  “A big question is, how are you doing?”

  “What? I’m fine. Why would you wonder that?”

  “Laz…”

  I averted my gaze as if he were standing next to me. “Raikidan, I’ve told you, it’s Eira.”

  He sighed. “All right, sorry. Meet you back at the house after this?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s a date, then.”

  My cheeks flushed a little and I was glad he wasn’t around to see. “Raikidan!”

  He laughed. “I’m just messing with you. Though, it’s probably not the best thing for me to say after earlier.”

  I groaned. “Let’s not bring that situation up. I’d really like to forget about it.”

  “Sure thing, Butterfly.”

  I sighed and picked up my gun. I needed to catch up with Ryoko before she ended up doing all the work.

  Chapter 19

  My ears hurt from the loud echoes in the shop. Blaze, Raid, and Zane were welding—Ryoko sanding—and Raikidan and Rylan were grinding away on sheet metal. It made it hard to concentrate as I worked with Argus. He nudged me every time my focus wandered.

  The large front door of the shop creaked open, and several sets of footsteps entered the building. I wasn’t sure how I was able to hear them over the noise, but I also didn’t care much. They were soldiers, and I wasn’t planning on paying them any mind. They were the only business the shop ever had lately. I wasn’t even sure if I had ever seen a civilian step foot in here while I was around. The soldiers paid good money, so I guess it didn’t matter in the end.

  Zane stopped his welding and went to speak with the group. I planned on working more, but Argus took charge with some electrical configurations, so I ended up looking around again. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a bright flash hit my eyes and Argus screamed in pain.

  “Argus!” My stool crashed to the floor as I rushed to his side.

  Argus leaned over the workbench with his hand covering half of the left side of his face, and the other bracing himself. Blood rushed around his fingers and splattered everywhere.

  Ignoring the urge that screamed to kill him, I rested one hand on his back, and the other on his face, to help put pressure on the wound. “Ryoko, get the first aid kit!”

  Ryoko was in the office before I could get all the words out of my mouth. A soldier rushed over to give me a hand, but I wasn’t going to have it.

  “Don’t touch him!” I snapped.

  The man flinched. “Ma’am, I’m a medic. I can help.”

  “I said don’t touch him!”

  “Boy, do as she says,” Zane urged.

  “But—”

  “Do as she says.”

  The man nodded and backed away, but another soldier who had approached wasn’t as inclined to be so agreeable. “The hell he should. The man’s bleeding out and Larron is qualified to stop it. She shouldn’t be acting like a crazy bitch.”

  Zane gave the man the ugliest warning stare I’ve ever seen, but it was too late. The man had spoken and now he was going to get it.

  “Go to hell, you low-life piece of arrogant trash!” I spat. “It’s because of you and your stupid projects that he’s even in this condition. If you didn’t want these stupid, impossible upgrades, it wouldn’t have malfunctioned while he was making it!”

  “The idiot should have been wearing a face mask!” the soldier barked back.

  “I gave it to her to wear,” Argus muttered through clenched teeth.

  “Argus, don’t talk,” I hushed. “You’ll stretch out the wound, making it worse.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you wear it yourself?” the soldier demanded.

  I was really starting to toy with the idea of killing this soldier. “Because I was helping him with this project! Because of everything you guys want done in such short time, we haven’t had the time to get more masks to go around, so some of us have to go without, to make sure all your damned deadlines are met! Now all of you just get the hell out of here!”

  “Woman, stop—”

  Blood splattered on him as I threw my hand out. “Out!”

  The soldiers flinched.

  “Damian, we’re leaving,” Zo said.

  I hadn’t realized Zo was here, but right now I didn’t care, nor would I have, even if I hadn’t been mad. I still wasn’t okay with being around him after our unfortunate date.

  Damian looked at him. “Sir?”

  “You heard me, everyone out.” Zo looked at Zane. “We’ll come back when this unfortunate situation clears up. We’ll also discuss deadlines.”

  Zane nodded. “That would be best.”

  Ryoko dropped the heavy first-aid kit on the workbench and rummaged through the content to get me the supplies I needed to fix Argus up. While she did that, I continued to keep pressure on the wound.

  “Here.” Ryoko handed me some cloth and a bottle of liquid.

  I took the cloth from her and used it to soak up the blood.

  “Eira, you don’t have to do this,” Argus argued.

  “Shut up and sit still, or I’ll hurt you.”

  “You wouldn’t hurt someone who’s already bleeding out,” Argus objected.

  “Yes she would,” Raikidan argued.

  Argus sighed and stayed quiet. When the cloth I was using became too soaked with blood, I pulled it away and took a quick look at the wound. A large gash cut into his cheek all the way up to his forehead. How his eye hadn’t been damaged was beyond me, but I wasn’t going
to take this stroke of luck for granted. Ryoko handed me another cloth, and I soaked it in the liquid she had handed me before.

  “This will sting real bad, and then go numb,” I said.

  “Just put it on so we can get this bleeding to stop,” he muttered.

  I chuckled and dabbed the soaked cloth on his wound. I was quick to grab the needle and thread when the bleeding went down and his face was numb. Argus flinched a few times, but stayed quiet and was good while I pulled buried information out of my head that Azriel had taught me long ago, and stitched up Argus’ face.

  I tightened the bandana around my mouth to make sure it wasn’t going to fall off. It wasn’t normal for me to wear something like this, and I didn’t plan on getting caught, but it was better to be safe than sorry, especially with an assignment like this.

  After we had gotten Argus patched up, I made a call to Shva’sika to get her opinion on how to handle the matter, and she insisted we get Argus home for her to take a look at. Unfortunately, the moment we got Argus settled, the Council had sent over an assignment for us to complete. Normally I’d be happy the Council was finally handing us more assignments like they claimed they were going to, but Argus’ condition weighed heavily on my mind. It didn’t help that our assignment had us searching for and swiping paper-trailed information. The information tended to be valuable, but you had to sift through the garbage to find it, and with five of us working the assignment and under such a tight time frame, it felt more and more impossible to complete as the minutes passed.

  Ryoko signaled to me that she was splitting off, and Rylan and Raid followed her into a building. Raikidan and I continued until my communicator flashed, signaling I had reached my target building. I looked around before climbing down to the window below. Raikidan waited above until I had the window open, and I didn’t wait for him to come inside before I started searching.

  My gloves kept my fingerprints off everything I touched, so the only things I had to worry about were making too much of a mess or getting caught. I shuddered when something clattered to the ground.