Promise of Forever

by Patt Marr

  “Children are like that,” she said with an understanding sigh. “They stay as close as your shadow, then, in their teen years, they don’t want to be seen with you at all. I would love to hang out with Kendra and you!”

  “Really?” With all the people she knew in L.A., she wanted to be with them? Did she love kids that much?

  “You must be wondering what will happen to my friendship with Kendra as my friendship with you changes. Friendships evolve. You might get sick of seeing me all day plus after hours. Anything could happen.”

  It was great that Beth was thinking ahead.

  “As Kendra’s dad, you need to know that I’m signing on to be her friend, regardless of what happens with us.”

  “And you’re cool with that? You would be Kendi’s friend even if we weren’t friends?”

  She nodded. “I would be if you allowed it.”

  “And I don’t have to worry about Kendi taking too much of your time?”

  “No! Do I have to worry that you’ll think I’m over-stepping your parental authority if I suggest something I think she will enjoy?”

  “Not a bit.”

  “Promise?” She offered her hand.

  “Promise,” he said, shaking on the deal.

  His daughter came back, holding a pink gum ball in her hand. “I didn’t get yellow, but pink is next best,” she said with a decent attitude.

  “Would you two like to have dessert at my house?” Beth offered, glancing at him as if to say this was a test of their new agreement. “I have an animated video.”

  Kendi couldn’t have been more thrilled by a box full of yellow gum balls. “Don’t say ‘no,’ Daddy,” she said, as if she feared he might.

  “You’ll probably fall asleep, Kendi.”

  “I can stay awake.”

  “Or you can sleep over,” Beth said. “Maybe Daddy would enjoy a run by himself in the morning.”

  Daddy would love that. “Didn’t you say you were having breakfast with your grandfather?”

  “Yes, but Grandpa would love to have Kendra come, too. Maybe you and Harlene could do a few errands while Kendra and I do some girl stuff. Kendra hasn’t seen our Noah’s Ark theme yet. We could meet you at the clinic about noon.”

  His daughter looked at him with stars in her eyes. “Could we do that, Daddy?”

  He felt a little starry-eyed himself. Beth had just rearranged their lives, yet the load of responsibility he carried like a knapsack full of stones seemed lighter.

  From her kitchen cupboard, Beth chose three wide-mouthed goblets that she’d bought for this particular dessert. She placed scoops of raspberry sherbet in the goblets and topped them with freshly cut bananas, strawberries, nectarines and pineapple.

  Her cohostess Kendra stuck chocolate-filled wafers into the sherbet and served it with flair to her daddy.

  The three of them had shared breakfast out here on the balcony, but tonight, recessed lighting added to the glow of candles around the room. A warm breeze ruffled the feathery fronds of palm trees as tall as her third-floor balcony.

  “This looks too pretty to eat,” Noah said.

  “I don’t cook,” Beth confessed, bringing the other servings to the table, “so I go for points on presentation.”

  “Daddy can cook,” Kendra said, spooning banana into her mouth. “And he only makes you eat a little food that’s good for you before you get the stuff you like.”

  “It’s a perfect night, isn’t it?” Noah said, glancing around the balcony as if he hadn’t seen it before.

  Beth hid a smile. She loved Kendra’s PR campaign to present Noah as Boyfriend of the Year, but, if she were him, it would be hard to take.

  “You could live out here, it’s so big,” he said.

  “My whole apartment in New York was smaller,” she said, helping him move the subject to an impersonal topic. “I love being out here.”

  “In California or on the balcony?” he teased.

  “Both! But the balcony is my favorite place. I love the warm breeze. Kendra, in New York, right now, the kids are probably wearing jackets to school.”

  “Yep, ’cause it’s autumn. I learned it at school. You know what happened at school today? Baylee wanted to be a door holder, and she cutted me.” Kendra’s big lavender-blue eyes said that was a most grievous offense. “Me and Brooke were supposed to be door holders. You are not supposed to cut people. Baylee had to go to the back of the line.”

  Beth nodded, sympathetically. Noah’s eyes glazed over, as if he’d heard this before.

  “I like to be first,” Kendra continued, “but I can’t or no one will like me.”

  Noah had done his job, or his daughter wouldn’t have that kind of insight.

  “I like to play with Baylee and Brooke. They’re twins! I wish I was a twin.”

  “Beth, did you say you had a video we could watch?” Noah said, sliding back from the table and taking their dishes to the kitchen.

  She put the video in, and Kendra orchestrated the seating arrangement, putting them all on the sofa, with herself in the middle.

  Ten minutes into the animated movie, she snuggled into Beth’s arms as if she belonged there.

  Beth looked at Noah. Was he as surprised as she was?

  He gestured for her to take another look.

  His child was fast asleep.

  “You called that one,” she said, shutting off the kiddie flick. “I wish I could do that.”

  “She’s always been that way. Her mother used to say it was God’s gift to a deserving parent. I worked the night shift and didn’t realize what Merrilee meant until I took care of Kendi by myself.”

  “It’s a big job, being a single parent. Can I ask you something?”

  One corner of his mouth lifted in that lopsided smile that got to her every time. He shifted so he could face her and rested his arm across the top of the sofa. “Since you’ve given me time off from Kendi care, you can ask anything.”

  Relaxed this way, he was more appealing than ever. Fluttery butterflies in her stomach said so, too.

  “What do you want to know?” he prompted.

  “About what?” For some reason she couldn’t seem to focus.

  “You had a question?”

  She had many questions. Am I falling for you? Are you feeling what I am? “How did you meet Kendra’s mother, Noah?” she asked. That put her brain back on track.

  “I met Merrilee at a theme park where we both worked. She was eighteen, fresh out of high school. I was twenty-one and taking junior college courses. Don’t laugh, but I thought I wanted to be a doctor.”

  “What’s funny about that? I can see you as a doctor.”

  He shrugged and gave her one of his lopsided smiles. “I traded that idea for a family.”

  “Can’t you have both?”

  “Let’s say, I couldn’t. Three years before I met Merrilee, I’d aged out of the foster-care system. I’d learned how to take care of myself, but Merrilee had just aged out and was still finding her way. We had a lot in common. Both of us had been unadoptable. We’d been moved from place to place. Neither of us had anybody.”

  It was amazing how unemotionally Noah related the bare facts. His life and Merrilee’s would have been filled with trauma, heartache and loneliness.

  “Merrilee needed me—the first person who ever had…” His voice cracked a little on that. “I loved having someone to take care of.”

  He didn’t mention needing Merrilee. Kids raised like Noah learned to deny need, even to themselves. Beth knew that as well as she knew the best meds to prescribe for her patients. “God brought you two together, didn’t He?”

  “That’s what Merrilee said.”

  Before Beth was a Christian, she wouldn’t have considered that possibility, but, now, she believed it. “When did you know you were in love?”

  “When?” He closed his eyes, as if he were trying to remember. “I think it was when Merrilee asked me to marry her. I was such a chicken, I would never have asked her.�
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  “Did you say yes?”

  “Oh, yeah! We were married the next week. I was afraid she would change her mind.”

  She wouldn’t have. If a woman had Noah’s love, she would be his forever.

  “When Merrilee became pregnant, I switched to the nursing program. I liked it. We did okay.”

  “I’d say you did a lot better than okay. The two of you raised a wonderful daughter.”

  His smile faded, and he looked at her with concern. “Beth, you see how Kendi can talk me into almost anything. I want her to grow up to be confident and sure of herself, but not headstrong or self-centered. You’re an expert on kids. Tell me the truth. Do I need to toughen up?”

  “You want me to tell you the truth?”

  “Even if it hurts.”

  “Then, here’s what I have to say. Ready?”

  He nodded. A muscle twitched in his jaw.

  “The truth is…I wish I’d had a dad like you.”

  It was almost noon when Noah drove past the BMC physicians’ parking lot, but Beth’s car was already there. He had dropped Harlene off at the salon for her hair appointment early, yet Beth and Kendi had beaten him here. It was a small thing, but he would have liked to be with Kendi when she caught her first glimpse of the lobby.

  He ran to the door nearest the employee parking lot, wondering if he could get to the office faster if he took the elevator or ran up the stairs three at a time?

  “Hi, Daddy!” his baby exclaimed as he yanked open the door. She jumped up from the stairs where she had been sitting with Beth and lifted her arms for their daddy-daughter kiss.

  “You were waiting for me?”

  “Yep, Beth said we couldn’t see the ark without Noah,” she said, giggling at the little joke.

  Beth’s eyes swept the length of him and came back to rest on Kendi, holding him tight. She’d looked just like that when she’d said she wished she’d had a dad like him. He felt a tug on his heart.

  “I don’t know about you two,” Beth said, “but I’m taking the elevator. Anybody coming with me?”

  “Me!” Kendi volunteered, sliding out of his arms.

  “How about you, Daddy?” Beth teased, challenge in her caramel-colored eyes. “Do you want to take the stairs and try to beat us?”

  He’d never been one to resist a challenge, but he’d had enough of being alone. It felt too good, being with Kendi and Beth…though he would like it better if Beth would stop calling him Daddy.

  In the elevator, Kendi claimed the privilege of pushing the third-floor button. That gave him a chance to touch Beth’s arm and say, “Thanks for waiting for me.”

  She just smiled.

  “Daddy, did you see my new outfit?” Kendi preened, showing off the front and back of a yellow top and matching skirt, or maybe it was what they called a skort. She pulled the front flap aside, and shorts were underneath.

  “We went shopping,” Beth said, though he could see that for himself.

  “You look so cute, Kendi!” he said, approving the new look which included her hair brushed back from her face and secured with a cluster of curly bright ribbons.

  “Daddy looks pretty cute himself,” Beth said, taking in his white shorts and yellow T-shirt.

  “I gave that shirt to Daddy for his birthday,” Kendi said, accepting the compliment. She pointed to Noah’s and Beth’s yellow T-shirts and white shorts. “You’re twins! Daddy, you match Beth!”

  “Not really,” he said, pretending this was not supremely embarrassing. “I don’t have the yellow shoes.”

  “When’s your birthday?” Beth asked. “I’ll get you a pair of yellow leather Nikes. They do custom orders.”

  That was all he needed, yellow sneakers of his own.

  “We’re the yellow family,” Kendi said happily.

  “What do you think, Noah?” Beth said with a wry smile. “Do we look like tourists, heading for a theme park?”

  He looked from his outfit to hers and just shook his head. This was not a manly moment.

  “We’re go-ing to see No-ah’s ark,” Kendi sang, taking his hand and Beth’s as if she were as thrilled with the journey as the destination.

  That changed when the lobby came into view.

  “Oh!” Kendi was as speechless as he’d been the first time he’d seen Beth’s ark.

  “That’s a big promise rainbow!” she exclaimed.

  Beth looked at him and whispered, “A promise rainbow?”

  He nodded and whispered back, “Later.”

  Kendi had to sit in each little animal chair, admire each little fishie and check out the Noah’s ark mural in detail. Beth stood beside him, watching Kendi explore, just like a proud parent herself.

  Inside the office, Beth flipped on the exam room lights, and Kendi went from room to room, laughing at the silly murals. Beth opened a hat cabinet and invited Kendi to try them all.

  He sat on the exam table and patted the spot beside him, inviting Beth to join him for the style show.

  Beth leaned close and asked softly, “Why did she call it a promise rainbow?”

  Noah kept his voice low. “She heard the Noah story at church a couple of years ago. I imagine they told it like the Bible says—the rainbow was God’s promise not to destroy the earth by a flood again, but Kendi put it in the context of her own life. To her, a rainbow is God’s promise that everything will turn out okay. I haven’t had the heart to tell her any different.”

  Beth smiled at Kendra and said quietly, “Her theology isn’t off much. If God can make a rainbow, He can make everything turn out okay.”

  He wouldn’t argue, but how could she be that sure?

  Beth sat in the church sanctuary, waiting for her brother and Meg. A well-trained orchestra played beautiful preservice music. The seats were padded with velvety cushions, and lush green plants were everywhere.

  It was quite a contrast from Beth’s store-front church near Manhattan Free Clinic, but the presence of the Lord was real in both places.

  Meg and Ry slid into the seats beside her. Meg started to hug her, but she stopped and did a double-take.

  “You’re wearing makeup!” she said. Her eyes swept Beth from top to bottom. “And earrings! And heels! I can’t believe it.”

  Neither could Beth. The makeup felt heavy, the earrings pinched and the shoes were pure torture.

  “Nice dress, sis,” Ry murmured, leaning over to give Beth a kiss. “What’s the occasion?”

  “She’s met someone,” Meg said with smug certainty.

  “Good for you, sis! It’s about time.”

  “Tell me about him.” Meg nudged Beth’s shoulder, the way good friends do.

  “There is no him,” Beth said, nudging her back. She wished that weren’t true, but it was. For the first time since Luke, she was interested in a man, but Noah wasn’t interested in her.

  “You can tell me later,” Meg said, patting her arm as the worship service began.

  What was there to tell? That she was falling for a great guy who didn’t see her as more than a friend of the family? Yesterday, she’d joined Noah, Kendra and Harlene after they’d left the clinic. She’d been as tingly aware of him as a teenager with a crush, but Noah seemed more aware of Harlene. Of course, it had been Harlene’s day, and the measure of a good man was how he treated his mother—or a precious older woman like Harlene.

  Beth didn’t know the first song, but everyone else seemed to. Her brother sang with a boldness that tore at her heart. When Ry and Meg had been her childhood buddies, she’d never imagined the three of them would be here like this.

  Across the aisle and down a few rows, Meg’s brother, Pete, sat with his wife, Sunny. During the offertory, Pete slipped his arm around Sunny and bent his head near hers. They made an attractive couple, with his ebony hair and her coppery curls.

  To the left of Beth and up one row, her cousin Collin sat with his fiancée, Glenda. In three weeks, they would be married in the garden of this church. Beth was so proud of Ry for leading them
to the Lord. If he weren’t studying to be a doctor, he could have been a preacher. He and Meg sat shoulder to shoulder, her hand in his, the two of them more in love than ever.

  Beth looked around, and it seemed as if she saw couples everywhere—retirees, middle-aged people, young parents, even teenagers—all of them sitting two by two. She’d never complained about being single the way some women do, but suddenly, the longing to have a man of her own hit like a pang of hunger that wouldn’t be ignored.

  Lord, remember when I said I wasn’t desperate? I must have been in denial. If what I’m feeling is the biological-clock thing common to women my age, that’s okay. I’ll understand. If it’s something worse, like self-pity or depression, that’s not fine at all!

  Am I over-thinking this?

  Simple faith is what You want. Uneasiness can be Your way of getting us ready for the next thing in Your plan. Could it be that You’re preparing me to trust one man again?

  Who do You have in mind?

  She let it rest while she sang the worship songs, but during the announcements, her mind wandered.

  Once, she’d loved Luke Jordahl, and he was still drop-dead gorgeous. He’d said he’d changed, but she hadn’t seen it. If he knew the Lord, Luke could be a man worthy of loving…just not by her…not without a major sign from God.

  Zack Hemmingway was interested in her, and she liked him a lot. He reminded her so much of her dad—both of them brilliant specialists who lived for their work. She didn’t have much to go on, but she thought there was a lonely guy beneath Zack’s confident appearance, and she wanted to get to know him better. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be any special chemistry between them.

  She’d missed part of the sermon, but the title on the big overhead screen said, Surrender to the Possibilities.

  The pastor was about her age and seemed like a great guy with a cool sense of humor. She leaned toward Meg and whispered, “Is the pastor married?”

  Meg nodded.

  “Is his wife here?”

  Meg pointed out a petite redhead.

  The woman looked nice. She and the pastor made another great couple.

  “In the Bible, God used people in unexpected ways,” said Pastor Already-Taken. He gave a bunch of examples—Jonah, Moses, Peter, Paul—and Beth wrote on her sermon outline page, “When you act from fear, when you make snap judgments, when you shut people out, you may be shutting the door on God’s plan for your life.”