Promise of Forever

by Patt Marr

  But just last Saturday, he’d rented a pair of bikes at the pier—one for himself and the other, a tandem with the front seat for Beth and a child-sized rear seat for Kendi. He’d ridden behind them and enjoyed the view. The ocean was bluer than blue, and the girls—that was what Kendi liked to call herself and Beth—looked adorable in their bike helmets.

  After hot dogs and ice cream, Kendi drew a big rainbow in the sand while Beth made a castle and he took a nap—or pretended to. There’d been a lot of giggles and whispers while they buried him in the sand.

  He smiled, thinking of how Kendi had squealed when he jumped up, grabbed her hand and Beth’s and ran for the surf to splash off some of that sand. He should have made the effort to make Kendi that happy long before now, but it didn’t come naturally to him as it did with Beth.

  His daughter sat in the back seat of Beth’s yellow VW. She wore her sunglasses with the green rims because she couldn’t find her yellow ones—a loss that created high drama. Beth sat in the passenger seat, her face turned to the late-afternoon sun, catching up on her sleep. Emergencies had kept her up most of the night.

  And he had the privilege of driving the Beetle. It took a manly man to sit behind the wheel of this little car with the top down while traffic on the Santa Monica Freeway blew right past him. He would have preferred his SUV, but Beth and Kendi wanted the convertible, and they generally got their way, though he’d put his foot down about what he would wear.

  Kendi wanted them to be the yellow family again, but not even for her would he meet Beth’s friends and family as the daddy of the yellow family. It wasn’t just how silly he felt, wearing matching clothes, he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about how he saw his and Beth’s futures.

  They were friends, really good friends, who’d only known each other one month. Four weeks. Not long at all if he didn’t count those few minutes he and Beth had shared a year and a half ago.

  If she’d begun her practice at BMC then, would their friendship have developed the way it had? Probably not. His grief had still been too new, and his daughter hadn’t been mommy-shopping then. That was for sure.

  Now Kendi’s feelings for Beth rocketed way past friendship, though he could hardly blame her when he had a difficult time himself keeping the proper perspective. Beth only had to look at him for him to feel unhinged, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss that had almost happened.

  There hadn’t been a repeat of that moment, but she’d slipped her hand in his several times. Usually, she was holding hands with Kendi, too, which made it seem natural. She didn’t have to know that when she took his hand, his heart always raced.

  Even more often, she would touch his arm, his shoulder, his back, but he reminded himself that Beth was a toucher. She did the same thing with Vanessa and their patients, though he was pretty sure she didn’t look at them the same way. He knew so little about love that he didn’t know what was going on between them, but when their eyes met, he couldn’t look away, not if his life depended upon it.

  The power of his love for Kendi…that he definitely understood. The deep affection he’d felt for Merrilee…he got that, too. But what he felt for Beth blurred the lines of friendship and this other feeling until he didn’t know what to think or what to do…other than follow her lead.

  That was like walking on shifting sand. Merrilee had teased him about being a control freak. Admittedly, he didn’t take it well when the unexpected came at him sideways. He preferred to be the leader, and anything else made him uneasy.

  Glancing over at Beth, so near in this little car, his heart bumped hard against his chest. Like Kendi, he wanted to be with her all the time, and he wondered if he’d ever get the opportunity to hold her again.

  Last night, Beth had talked about her dad a little, or about how little he’d been around as she grew up. Like everyone at Cedar Hills, Noah had known that Dr. James T. Brennan, Jr. seemed to live there. Beth confirmed what the rumor mill said about her mother’s problems. They were a mix of psychological disorders that had made her family’s life a nightmare.

  That gave Noah the guts to share that his dad had been some teenage guy who his teenage mom couldn’t remember, and that she’d left him with Grandpa McKnight when Noah had been a baby. His grandfather had given him a good home for eight years, until he’d passed away. His drugged-out mother had showed up just often enough that he hadn’t been adoptable, but mostly, she’d lived her life in and out of prison on drug-related charges while he’d lived his life wherever the state placed him.

  If there had been an ounce of pity in Beth’s eyes, he couldn’t have shared all that, but he was glad he had. Keeping his past a secret hadn’t felt right, not when they’d been spending so much time together.

  If it bothered her, she sure didn’t show it. In fact, she’d looked at him with admiration and said, “Your grandfather would be so proud at the way you’ve turned out.”

  That put a lump in his throat.

  Tonight would be a test of sorts. The people attending Ry’s beach birthday party were totally out of his league. Beth promised he would have a great time, but he was a bundle of nerves. Her brother Ry had broken the mold and become a paramedic, which gave them something in common, but Meg was an assistant TV producer of a nationally televised show, her brother Pete was a millionaire land developer and his wife, Sunny, was the daughter of a former United States senator!

  If that wasn’t enough to intimidate a guy, the party was at a beach house in Malibu! Movie stars and the very rich lived out there, not guys like Noah. He’d ridden through on a sightseeing trip once with Merrilee, and he’d felt like a trespasser just doing that.

  How was he supposed to fit in at a party like this? Grandpa had taught him that he was as good as anyone. Most of the time, Noah believed it. He didn’t care if people were important or wealthy, but these people mattered to Beth. He didn’t want to let her down.

  He nudged her awake to point out Sunny and Pete’s beach house, and she looked at him with a sleepy, loving smile that made his heart turn over.

  The house was one of the more modest beachfront homes, though modest was a relative term. He could never afford to live in such a place. He turned into the driveway and said, “Kendi, we’re here,” but he wished they weren’t.

  He felt just like he used to when he’d arrive at the door of a new set of foster parents, wondering if this time it would work out. It never did, though his social worker would say it wasn’t his fault. Maybe not, but when it happened more than once, a guy had to wonder.

  But the door opened, and Noah was met with hugs from Meg and Sunny, warm handshakes from Ry and, a kiss from two-year-old Meggy who rode high on Pete’s arm and a manly high five from five-year-old Shay. He was greeted like an old friend, not somebody new.

  Vaguely, he noticed that Kendi and Beth were receiving the same fantastic, warm greeting. No wonder Beth said these people were her real family. The love in this house was a tangible thing.

  Beth and Kendi passed out the gift bags they’d brought—birthday presents to Ry and toys for Pete and Sunny’s children. Sunny took Kendi with her children to a play area in the kitchen, and Pete led the rest of them through a light-filled living area to an awesome deck overlooking the ocean.

  It was like something he might have seen in a movie. Flowers bloomed in colorful pots. There was a hammock big enough for two, cushioned lounge chairs, a big table covered with an umbrella, a huge grill—all of it fantastic, but even more impressive was the beach beneath the deck, the rhythmic sound of the surf and the view of endless sea.

  “Make yourself at home, Noah,” Pete said, taking a platter of thick raw hamburger patties from Meg. “We were just waiting for you before we put on the burgers.”

  “I’ve already made myself at home,” Ry said, stretching out on the hammock. “Wake me up for dinner.”

  Noah smiled. Catching a nap whenever possible was a trait common to medics.

  “Can I help?” he asked, impressed
with the size of the grill. Besides the beef patties, there was corn on the cob, a foil-covered pan that Pete said was garlic potatoes, zucchini slices and a pan of melted butter.

  Pete handed him a pair of tongs. “My dad always said, ‘Treat your guests like family.’ Sure, you can help.”

  Noah looked around to check on Kendi and Beth. Beth stood near the kitchen, watching him with a big smile on her face. Kendi was playing with Shay and baby Meggy nearby. Beth gave him a little wave as if to say she could see he was doing fine, and she turned to go in the kitchen.

  Amazingly, his uneasiness was gone. With a pair of tongs in his hand, he felt right at home.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Noah had never experienced anything like this birthday dinner for Ry. These people could have chosen to celebrate any way they wanted, but they sat around the table on the deck, all nine of them—the grown-ups and the kids—eating burgers and corn on the cob. It could have been any family gathering, except for the waves lapping the shore and the setting sun turning the sky to lavender, coral and gold.

  Conversation flowed easily, broken often with laughter, which the birthday guy had a lot to do with. Ry had a great sense of humor and told the best stories. He also made sure no one was left out, not baby Meggy, not young Shay and definitely not Kendra. Ry had her telling things about her daddy that were slightly embarrassing, but Noah only pretended to mind.

  These people came from money, but money couldn’t buy the love at this table. The two sets of siblings—Pete and Meg, Ry and Beth—had also been neighbors as they grew up. They shared a lifetime of memories, and they shared the same faith, the same values, even the same church.

  They’d brought Sunny into their fold, and they made him and Kendi feel welcome, too. Was there anything he wanted more for Kendi than a family like this?

  Before they’d eaten, they’d joined hands, and Kendi had been asked to say grace—probably because Beth suggested it. Naturally, Kendi mentioned each of them in her prayer and itemized the food to be blessed, stretching out the prayer. She’d ended with, “God bless the birthday boy!”

  There had been applause after that, and Beth had looked proud. Asking for the blessing might be more of a ritual than a real conversation with the Lord, but he appreciated the way they made Kendi feel special.

  For dessert, Meg brought a tall cake to the table and set it in front of Ry. Except for red letters that spelled out, Happy Birthday Ry, the cake was all white.

  “Ah, wedding cake, my favorite,” Ry said, rising from his chair to steal a kiss from his wife.

  “It’s only been his favorite since we were married,” Meg said, laughing at the way he nuzzled her neck. “White cake and white icing—that’s what Ry likes.”

  “And I’ll enjoy it again at Collin’s wedding.”

  “I could understand why Collin asked his cousin Ry to be his best man,” Beth said, “but I’m still surprised the bride asked me to be an attendant, too. We didn’t meet until her bridal shower, but she said she wanted to include Collin’s family.”

  “I’m covering the guest book,” Meg added.

  “We’re going,” Sunny said, “though neither of us know Collin’s bride. What’s her name? Linda?”

  “Glenda,” Kendi corrected politely. “Me and Daddy know Glenda. We’re going, and I’m wearing a pink dress!” She and Beth exchanged loving smiles.

  “Kendra, can you talk Glenda into letting us all sit together at the reception?” Pete asked.

  “Can I, Daddy?” his daughter asked, taking the request seriously.

  He shrugged with a smile. Asking Glenda for a favor, as busy as she would be, this close to the wedding, wasn’t his style, but it meant a lot that Pete had thought of the idea.

  Before Ry cut his cake, they all joined hands again and took turns, praying for Ry. They began with baby Meggy and Shay who were coached to say, “God bless Uncle Ry.”

  As they went around the table, Noah felt the pressure. His turn was coming. What should he do?

  This was not the time or place to admit he had doubts that God listened to prayers, nor had he ever voiced those doubts. He’d gone to church and read the Bible enough to remember a person wasn’t supposed to cause another to stumble in their faith.

  Should he fake faith for this occasion and come up with words that would sound okay? That would be polite, though it seemed wrong.

  Maybe he could borrow their faith for a moment and speak sincerely to the Lord they believed in.

  When it was his turn, he said, “Lord, thank You for the way Ry shows his love for You. Even without him saying how much he loves You, it’s easy to see.”

  Beth looked Noah’s way, her eyes full of admiration, appreciation, approval—any and all of which would make him feel wonderful if guilt didn’t churn in his stomach.

  Ry sliced and plated the cake. Meg passed it around, and Sunny passed a crystal bowl of round scoops of ice cream in a variety of flavors and colors.

  Kendi crawled up in Noah’s lap and whispered in his ear, “Daddy, that was a good prayer.”

  Kendi meant that as a good thing, but he felt such guilt, that his child would praise him for a simple prayer. Kendi hadn’t heard him pray in a long time, maybe not since her mother had died. She snuggled in his arms until ice cream and cake lured her away.

  Beth could hardly wait to get Meg’s and Sunny’s impression of Noah. The opportunity came when the guys went in the house to put the children to bed.

  Sunny gave her a hug and said, “Beth, I’ve never seen you so happy, and now I know the reason why. Noah is perfect, and his daughter is adorable.”

  Beth’s smile was so wide, it almost hurt. “What did you think, Meg?” Meg’s opinion had always been the one that mattered most.

  “I think I called it. I knew you’d met someone.”

  Sunny and Beth groaned, but they didn’t dispute Meg’s claim. She did seem to have a knack for recognizing couple potential—which she used on her job, selecting the contestants for a TV dating game show.

  “Noah’s wonderful,” Meg said sincerely, though without her usual bubbly enthusiasm. “If he were on Dream Date, he would be the star of the episode.”

  “But….?” Beth heard the qualifier coming.

  “But how is his relationship with the Lord?”

  “I’m sure it’s okay,” Beth answered, though she felt a check in her spirit. Did she really know that? “Noah doesn’t talk about the Lord the way we do, but not all Christians do. You heard him and Kendra pray. They believe, and you see what a good person he is.”

  “Good person?” Meg repeated.

  Beth sighed. “I know. Being good doesn’t mean he knows the Lord, but it’s a good indicator.”

  “Where does he go to church?” Sunny asked.

  Meg was going to jump all over this answer. “He doesn’t,” Beth confessed. “He transports Kendra and their neighbor, Harlene, but he doesn’t stay.”

  Sunny and Meg exchanged a glance, not surprisingly.

  “Does he say why?” Meg asked.

  “Those few hours are the only ones he has alone all week. You know how it is for single parents.”

  The answering silence said what Beth already knew. It wasn’t a good enough reason. Single parents needed the fellowship of a good church as much as they needed time alone, if not more. “Maybe I should talk to Noah about this,” she said. Nagging wasn’t her style, but sometimes words should be said.

  “Hon, you’re asking for heartache if you commit to a man who isn’t committed to the Lord,” Meg said with love.

  Beth believed that, too, but had she waited too long? Could she pull away from Noah now, especially when she’d promised to be Kendra’s friend, whatever happened?

  “When the guys come back, take Noah for a moonlit stroll on the beach,” Sunny said. “Talk about the ocean, the stars, the tides, the God of the universe—and ask Noah if he knows the Lord personally.”

  “Once a teacher, always a teacher,” Meg said dryly, kiddi
ng Sunny who’d taught and coached at the high-school level before she had kids.

  “I’m sorry,” Sunny said, chagrined. “It did sound like a lesson plan, didn’t it?”

  “That’s okay,” Beth said. “I need the help. Moonlight and Jesus. Do you really think they go together?”

  Sunny reached out for their hands. “Let’s ask the Lord about it and—”

  “Surrender to the possibilities?” Beth said with a smile.

  They laughed, knowing where she’d heard the phrase, and Meg repeated the words when she prayed. Shared faith and friendship were wonderful, powerful blessings.

  Noah laid his sleeping daughter on the bed in the guest room, once again amazed at her talent for zonking out at the same time every night. He walked past the kids’ rooms and saw that Uncle Ry had planned to rock baby Meggy to sleep, but he was the one snoozing while the tiny redhead listened to her daddy read a book to her brother.

  Noah walked quietly down the stairs, admiring the skylights and the open spaciousness of the living area. It was awesome to think that Pete had worked for his dad when the two of them had built this house. Back then, Pete said, he’d never dreamed of owning a home like this.

  In one corner of the deck, Beth, Meg and Sunny were holding hands, praying. Man, these people prayed a lot. He walked to the edge of the deck, leaned on the rail and stared at the ocean. Deck lights from the adjoining houses provided some illumination, but, mostly, he stared into dark nothingness, enjoying the sound of the sea.

  Beth joined him and slipped her arm around his waist, almost as if she were claiming him. Would she do that in front of her family? He couldn’t help glancing around to see if they were alone. They almost were. Meg and Sunny worked in the kitchen that opened onto the deck.

  He slid his arm around Beth and looked down at her pretty face. Wisps of hair blew across her eyes. He smoothed them back, which wasn’t much of an excuse to touch her, but the only one he had.

  At the touch of his hand, she gasped as if she were catching her breath. He knew that feeling. She looked up at him with such a loving expression that he wanted to sweep her up in his arms.