A Lot Like Adiós

by Alexis Daria

  Michelle, who had seen him and his business more clearly than he had himself. She’d cut right to the heart of Agility. And he still hadn’t let her in, insisting he had to make this choice alone.

  But he was fooling himself. He’d traded his father for Powell, letting someone else roll over him and sway his decisions. So long as Powell was involved, Agility would never truly be his.

  When Gabe had been younger and his father’s store was failing, Esteban had refused to see the writing on the wall, sure that if they all just worked harder, it would pan out. His drive had stifled Gabe’s own dreams, until the only recourse had been to leave. Gabe had tried talking to his parents about his future, and they’d shut him down. They needed him at the store, they said. Family worked together. No one could do it alone.

  He’d been determined to prove them wrong. And now look where he was.

  “How was it in New York?” Fabian asked, breaking into his thoughts. “With your dad and your girl.”

  Gabe shook his head. “She’s not my girl.”

  The words felt wrong to him. Some part of Michelle belonged to him, just as part of him would always belong to her. Not in some weird possessive way, but in a way formed by entwined life experiences. Twelve years’ worth of childhood memories weren’t nothing. And now, he had a week’s worth that had shown him how his life could have been if things had been different. If he hadn’t made the choices he had.

  But things weren’t different. They had their own lives, far apart from each other, and his was in such disarray, he couldn’t conceive of dragging Michelle any further into this mess.

  “Not your girl, huh?” Fabian raised an eyebrow. “That’s not how it looked in that video.”

  Gabe’s gaze snapped to him. “What video?”

  “I fell down an Instagram rabbit hole one night at the hospital. Trying to keep my mind off worrying, you know? Anyway, I saw a video of the two of you dancing. Here, I saved it and meant to send it to you with some shit-talking, but I forgot.”

  “Dancing?”

  Fabian pulled out his phone and Gabe got up to look over his shoulder as his friend scrolled through countless pictures of swaddled bundles.

  “Are those the twins?” Gabe asked.

  “Yeah, aren’t they perfect?”

  Fabian tapped on a picture of the twins immediately after birth, which Gabe could have done without, but he just said, “They’re beautiful. Can’t wait to see them when they’re awake.”

  “Heads up, Iris is going to ask you to be the godfather.”

  “No shit?” Gabe rocked back on his heels, stunned by the honor they were bestowing on him. “I—yeah. Of course. Wait, what do you mean by that, exactly? My own godfather would have been my legal guardian if something happened to my parents.”

  Fabian frowned at the phone as he continued scrolling. “Not like that—our families would fight you for custody, and I know you don’t want kids. Just like a special uncle-type person.”

  This conversation had taken a completely unexpected turn and Gabe didn’t know how to keep up. “Good. I mean, yeah, I’d be happy to be a tío to them.”

  “Make sure you act surprised when Iris brings it up. Ah, here it is.” With a note of triumph, Fabian held up the phone and hit play. A shaky video showed Gabe dancing bachata with Michelle, their bodies glued together and their hips swaying and thrusting in a way that was inappropriate for even a Latinx family birthday party.

  Gabe grabbed the phone and replayed the video again. And again. And again.

  Shit, no wonder their families had been so obnoxious at the barbecue. He might as well have gotten down on one knee and proposed in the middle of the damned dance floor. That dance was a declaration.

  He played it again. They looked so fucking good together. They were so fucking good together. She saw him in a way no one else ever had or probably would.

  His heart hurt at being away from her. But he had a business to sell, and next steps to figure out.

  What the hell was he going to do with the rest of his life?

  “You sure she’s not your girl?” Fabian asked mildly.

  Gabe texted the video to himself. “I’m sure.”

  “Whatever you say, dude.” Fabian took his phone back. “Now, about the gym . . .”

  With a heavy exhale, Gabe threw up his hands. “Fuck it. Let’s sell.”

  His friend gave him a long look, then nodded. “All right, I believe you.”

  “Believe me? About what?”

  “That you want to sell. You didn’t think I’d let you do it unless you really wanted to, did you?”

  “I . . . I don’t know.” Gabe narrowed his eyes. “How come you believe me now?”

  “Because I think you’re finally starting to realize that the gym isn’t the only thing of value in your life. Hold on, they’re here somewhere.” Fabian sifted through some papers, found the folder he was looking for, and held it up. “Here we go.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The papers detailing the sale.”

  Gabe swallowed. “This is moving faster than I expected.”

  “Did you see my kitchen? There are seven people in my house and I’m the only one who can work right now. I had our lawyer on this as soon as Powell emailed me, just in case. Was just waiting on you to decide if you were in or out.”

  Fabian stood and handed Gabe the folder.

  “Take this. Read the whole thing. Call me or our lawyer with any questions, or anything you want to add or take out. We’re only doing this if you’re okay with it, and if you’re not, we’ll go back to the drawing board. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Good. Now let me introduce you to my kids.”

  And just like that, the ball was rolling.

  Thirteen years ago

  Windows Messenger Chat Transcript

  Celestial Destiny: Episode 12 Planning Session

  Michelle:

  Okay, they’ve escaped, but before they go they have to retrieve the MacGuffin for Queen Seravida and destroy it.

  Gabe:

  I’ve been thinking about this . . .

  Michelle:

  Oh yeah?

  Gabe:

  What if this thing the queen wanted them to destroy is something else? What if she had a secret agenda all this time, and she was using Zack?

  Michelle:

  Omg what a twist. She lied to her own son?

  Gabe:

  She already lied to him when she faked her own death and left him to fend for himself.

  Michelle:

  Poor Zack. This is going to break him. His dad is using him for power, and his mom is using him for . . . what exactly?

  Gabe:

  Zack and Riva showed up at the end of Beyond the Stars with this device that would remove everyone’s powers, to level the playing field and bring stability to the galaxy. What if that’s the MacGuffin the queen sent them to destroy?

  Michelle:

  But in this episode they figure out it’s not what they thought it was.

  Gabe:

  So they go to confront Zack’s mother.

  Michelle:

  After hiding the device, because they might need it later.

  Gabe:

  Right. And Zack gives up the mission.

  Michelle:

  But there’s still more work to be done.

  Gabe:

  Doesn’t matter. He’s been betrayed and used. He thought there was a greater reason for why his life and his parents sucked, but there isn’t. Some people are just horrible.

  Michelle:

  That’s a bleak outlook.

  Gabe:

  Power corrupts. And Zack doesn’t want any part of his family’s power plays anymore. He’s out.

  Chapter 24

  Late the next day, Michelle woke slightly hungover in her mom’s craft room. Ava and Jasmine had spent the night, and they’d shared the bed in what Michelle now thought of as “Gabe’s room.”

  That was stupid, thoug
h. It was the guest room. He’d been a guest and he’d stayed in the guest room and now he was gone. It was still just the guest room.

  Jezebel was draped over Michelle’s shoulder like a living feather boa, emitting soft kitty snores. Because Michelle wanted to cry, she pressed her face into Jezebel’s fur. The cat purred, then stretched and rolled over. She climbed onto Michelle’s belly and started making biscuits.

  Michelle’s chest rumbled with a laugh as she shifted away. “Jez, that tickles.”

  The cat curled up in the warm sheets and closed her eyes, still purring.

  Michelle gave her ears a scratch. “At least I still have you, mamita.”

  Even though she felt a little unsteady, she climbed out of bed. After a visit to the bathroom, she forced herself to go downstairs.

  Ava and Jasmine were already in the kitchen. The second Michelle entered the room, Ava popped up from where she and Jasmine sat at the table drinking coffee.

  “I’ll make you tea,” Ava said. “Have a seat.”

  Michelle sank into the chair next to Jasmine and groaned. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.”

  Jasmine passed her the mug. “Have some. It’ll help.”

  “Thanks.” Michelle took a sip and closed her eyes, savoring the taste of rich, dark coffee. It was strong, the way Jasmine liked it. She passed the mug back. “You let me sleep late.”

  “We figured you needed it,” Jasmine said. “Your dad is downstairs playing video games and your mom is out shopping with my mom.”

  “Any word from Gabe?” Ava asked.

  Michelle shook her head. She didn’t expect to hear from him. He’d gone back to his life in California, and she suspected he was going to do whatever it took to pretend there weren’t people in New York who loved him.

  She had, however, heard from the contractor, who’d texted to say her bathroom was all finished.

  Michelle drummed her fingers on the table. “I’m going back to my apartment today.”

  Ava looked up from the counter, alarm written on her features. “You are?”

  “Relax, Ava. I’ll be fine.”

  She didn’t feel fine, but she would be. She always was.

  Michelle thanked her cousins and sent them on their way. She packed up everything she’d brought with her, coaxed Jezebel into her carrier, and waited until her mom got home before saying goodbye to her parents. She’d told them the night before that Gabe had a work emergency and had gone back to California, then did her best to brush aside her mother’s follow-up questions. Her dad, bless him, must have noticed there was something wrong, because he changed the subject.

  And then there was nothing to do but leave. Her dad helped her carry everything out to her car and got Jezebel settled in. The cat was meowing, so Dominic passed her a treat through the wire door. Michelle finished arranging bags of groceries in the trunk and slammed it shut.

  “Everything okay, Michie?” her dad asked.

  She sighed. Her dad was far more perceptive than he let on. “No, Daddy. But it will be.”

  He gave her a big hug and kissed the top of her head. “Let me know if you want me to . . .”

  “Dad, don’t be a stereotype,” she warned.

  “What? I was gonna say, let me know if you want me to leave bad Yelp reviews for his gym.”

  It made her laugh, which she guessed had been his intention. “I’ll see you for dinner next week.”

  He patted her shoulder, then went back into the house.

  Michelle opened the driver’s door and slid behind the wheel. Before she started the car, she stared for a long moment at Gabe’s parents’ house. Part of her felt like she should go say goodbye to Norma and Esteban. But if she went inside, she’d start crying, and Norma would probably start crying, too, and then it would just be a whole big mess. Michelle didn’t know how Gabe had left things with his parents, didn’t know what he’d told them about her, and honestly, she didn’t want to know.

  She just wanted to go home.

  After firing up her K-pop girl groups playlist, she hit the road. She’d beaten rush hour, so she reached Hell’s Kitchen in less than forty-five minutes. It took a few trips around the block before she found a spot near her building, then she started the process of bringing everything inside.

  She hauled Jezebel up the stairs first and left her in the carrier with the apartment door propped open while she went back to the car. Jezebel was meowing her head off by the time Michelle had retrieved the last of the groceries. Jezebel was normally a quiet kitty, but she didn’t like being left alone in her carrier for long stretches of time.

  “Chill out, Jez,” Michelle muttered as she locked the apartment door behind her. “I put the air-conditioning on for you, didn’t I?”

  Jezebel yeowled in response.

  Michelle bent to the carrier and released the beast. Jezebel leaped out and began a curious circuit of the apartment, smelling everything.

  Michelle stood for a minute watching her.

  “It’s just you and me again, Jez.” Then she hung her keys on the hook and toed off her sneakers.

  She’d gotten her life back, just as it was before. No more staying at her parents’ house. No more marketing projects.

  No more Gabe.

  She felt shaky, like her insides were trembling, and it had nothing to do with the wine she’d consumed the night before. Because she wanted to break down and cry in her bed, she forced herself to get to work. There were groceries to put away, plants to water, a cat to feed.

  And if she went into her bedroom, she’d be inundated by memories of him. Of his adorable striptease. Of him fucking her against the forest wallpaper.

  Why is everything ten times better with you?

  Screw it. She was sleeping on the sofa tonight.

  GABE SAT ON his couch, reading through the papers that would take his company away from him. These were the preliminary steps, he could see. There was room for his own negotiations and requests. And Fabian had already included a lot of the things Gabe would have asked for—for example, being able to use some form of the word agility in the future, since they’d chosen it because of the similarity to Aguilar.

  As the original owners, they’d have lifetime access to the Santa Monica gym and any New York City locations that were opened, but since Powell planned to franchise the name, they wouldn’t be granted memberships at locations owned by other people.

  And so on, and so on. An incredible number of tiny details, all of which Gabe was expected to weigh in on.

  Coupled with that was the guilt of ignoring the daily operations at the gym. Fabian had left it in Charisse’s capable hands, but Gabe felt bad about having been gone for more days than he’d planned, and now that he was back, he was sitting at home planning to sell it.

  Gabe made a few notes about what sort of packages would be given to employees who chose to leave. He wanted all of them taken care of, the ones who left and those who chose to stay. Treating his employees well was something he’d been adamant about as owner, and he didn’t want that to end.

  When he felt like his eyes would cross if he looked at one more clause, he set the papers aside and stretched out on the sofa. Maybe it was jet lag, maybe it was the lower-quality workouts he’d managed while in the Bronx, but his body felt heavy and sluggish. Likewise, his brain felt dull and distracted, his thoughts pinballing around with no sense of direction.

  He’d kept his phone on silent, and when he checked the time, he saw he had a missed call from his parents and a few texts from his sister. He stared at the notifications for a moment, then set the phone down without opening the messages. While he could no longer get away with avoiding his family forever, he couldn’t face them right now. They’d ask about what was happening with the business, or worse, with Michelle. He didn’t want to tell them about selling the gym, and he didn’t know what to tell them about Mich.

  If Fabian hadn’t emailed her, they never would have found each other again. Gabe would have continued on with his l
ife, never knowing how good things could be with Michelle.

  Never knowing how easily he could fall in love with her again.

  All the things he’d once dreamed about, and told himself were simply the musings of a youthful crush, he now had specific memories for. The way she sighed his name. The way her breathing changed when she fell asleep. The way she stress-cleaned and how she preferred her tea. Along with countless other little details he hadn’t known, despite half a lifetime of friendship.

  He couldn’t believe he’d gotten her involved in the expansion, only to drop it after she’d put so much work into it. He felt bad about that too. It was embarrassing, and added yet another layer to his feelings of failure.

  So many hours, days, years of his life had been funneled into the gym. Who was he without it?

  He didn’t know the answer yet, and until he figured it out, he wasn’t fit to even think about next steps with Michelle either.

  Selling the gym felt like a loss, like a death. Like someone close to him had passed, or like a piece of him was dying. It was going to take time to get used to his life without Agility in it.

  Yes, he still had his degree in physical therapy. He had the experience of running his own business. Those couldn’t be taken away from him. Yet the thought of going to work for someone else felt like a step down from where he’d been. He could do it, but it wouldn’t feel as fulfilling.

  He picked up one of the many sheets of paper in front of him, then put it back down. He already knew he was going to sell. And while he still had a few more questions and negotiations to work out, right now, he needed a break from it.

  Dragging his laptop across the sofa to him, Gabe opened it and hovered the mouse over his email icon, out of habit.

  No, he didn’t want to do that either.

  Looking around his apartment, there wasn’t a single thing he did want to do.

  He didn’t want to call his parents or sister back just yet. He didn’t want to talk to Fabian. He didn’t want to get caught up in the endless loop of social media. He didn’t want to watch TV or exercise. What did other people do with free time? He wasn’t used to having it.