Useless Bastard

by Hooke, A. J. A.

  "That sounds a bit risky," said Justin.

  "But think of the payoff. Right now we're hiding on the roof trying to talk as quietly as possible. If we sealed off the fence line then we could be a bit more noisier but without the risk. A large buffer zone should make it harder for the dead to notice any noises that is made in this shopping centre. That can only boost up the safety factor of this place."

  "What would we want to be noisy for?"

  "I don't see a reason to be just noisy for the sake of being noisy, but accidents happen. Imagine running around trying to deal with some random accident, and suddenly find yourself surrounded by some unfriendly types that were attracted by the noise of the accident. You successfully deal with an accident only to fall to those who hear you. Also it would be nice to be able to have a normal conversation without being afraid."

  "This seems really good. But then what?"

  "And," said Dave, "this is where my thinking runs out. I have a gut idea of what to do but not the larger goal."

  "When you first arrived you talked about moving on," said Justin.

  "That's still my goal."

  "You could stay here," said Eric.

  "I appreciate the offer," said Dave, "but again, it's my gut kicking in. My instincts keep telling me that I should be moving west."

  "You don't think that we are in danger," said Justin. "You're not leaving because you think we're doomed living on this shopping centre?"

  "No, I think what we did today has really made this place pretty secure. And if you manage to block up the road access to this shopping centre then you'll be in even better shape. Out of all the places that I've seen this will become the safest of all the places."

  Dave looked uncomfortable as he struggled to verbalise his vague thoughts, before he continued: "I can't say I have a plan, but I'm in the process of making one. I'm struggling to put my ideas together, so what I'm trying to say is that I need to explore, learn more about what's going on, maybe find more people. I'm certain that once I get my hands on more data then a real plan will kick in and not something vague like just survive."

  "So how long will you stay?" asked Justin.

  "I'm confident that I could leave now. You know what needs to be done and I'm sure that Sid could easily drive whatever needs to be driven where, and that Eric could keep an eye out for problems. I'd love to stay for a few more days in order to see what this place looks like when it's more fortressed up. But I won't."

  "And then you'll be going?"

  "Yes. I need to figure this out. Something is biting at the back of my mind and I have no choice but to look it in the teeth."

  Justin looked around the huddle groups of people on the roof. "You need to figure things out here as well. These people are in rough shape. I think that once this place is fully secured that they'll get some sense of hope back into them. And then you'll get a real community going. I think that the initial goal of the people here should be to get over the shock of what happened."

  "I have to admit that I wasn't optimistic when I first arrived here, but there's some good people here. With those people as examples I'm sure the rest will find their spirits rising."

  "I hope so. And what should we do with the rest of the day?" ask Justin.

  "Sadly, not a lot. Today we'll just have to wait while our unwanted guests leave."

  "That's going to be a bit dull."

  "I'm good. I've got a lot of books that I want to read."

  "Books?"

  "It wasn't until this madness happened that I realised that I didn't have to slightest idea how to do basic things. It was a bit of a shock to the old self-image. So I'm trying to turn that around by learning everything that I can."

  "It's not easy to learn from books."

  "True. But what other options do I have?"

  Justin gave Dave a serious look. "There's so much that we can all be doing and I'm just laying about sleeping all the time. I feel ashamed for being so disorganised."

  * * *

  Dave put down the book on bushcraft that he was reading and looked up at the sky. It was mid-afternoon. Sort of late in the day but not yet showing signs of being dark. Nearby Sid was reading a book borrowed from Dave on campfire cooking, Eric was reading a book on tents, and Justin was laying on his back and possibly having a strange nap with his eyes open.

  Dave stood up, drawing Sid and Eric's attention to him.

  "I'm just going to have a quick look," said Dave.

  "I'll join you," said Sid, and Eric gave a confirming nod.

  Dave looked at Justin and Sid chuckled.

  "I don't have the heart to wake him," said Dave.

  "He's fine," pointed out Sid. "Let's move."

  The three who were awake, walked over to the nearest edge of the roof and looked over the slight wall.

  "Do you see anything?" asked Dave.

  Sid gave a low whistle. "They've all buggered off."

  "I don't see anything at all," said Eric.

  "That's a relief," said Dave. "It took a few hours but it's good to know that they have such a short attention span."

  "At least they didn't stay for a few weeks," said Sid.

  "Let's walk about the roof to make sure that everything is clear," said Dave walking along the waist high wall that marked the edge of the roof.

  "If it's good," said Sid, "what's next?"

  "Well, using some trucks to further block the entrances to the centre would be nice, but I think that we should be greedy and try and block off the roadway."

  Sid looked towards the off-ramps where people could drive off the highway and entrance the shopping centre. "There's only two roads. One in and one out. Should be quick to block off."

  "You should be able to get it done early tomorrow," said Dave.

  "Why not do it now? There's still a good bit of daylight that we could work with."

  "Driving some trucks will make a good bit of noise. If that attracts attention I want them to lose interest and go away before night. Who knows what it will be like if we have a lot of dead here when the night rush hour begins. Would that mean that we'd end up with several thousand of the dead roaming about?"

  "They are pretty dense, but imagine what a mass of thousands could do," said Sid soberly.

  Dave looked startled. "I don't think that we should ever stress test this place, so let's completely forbid anything that would generate that much attention. There's just too much at stake. Just a single breech of our defences would mean the death of everyone. Maybe latter if we had a series of defences about this place, then we could ask questions about how many bodies a type of defence could hold off. But that's an issue to contemplate latter. I don't think we should be doing experiments that place this shopping centre in danger."

  "There's so much that we don't know about the dead."

  "Maybe we should capture a few and start experimenting on them."

  "I was half joking about it," said Sid.

  "Which means that you are half in agreement. Our lack of knowledge shouldn't make us squeamish."

  "Bloody hell."

  "Like I said before. I'm just trying to survive and the first step to that is knowledge. But what is knowledge? If I don't look at this situation from as many different directions as possible then I might miss something. Until I disprove something I'm willing to try out any ideas."

  "It's a mad time that we're in."

  "I feel like I'm repeating myself whenever I talk. It's a sign of just how little real data I actually have. I kind of wish that I had a background in science."

  "Why not look in the bookstore," suggested Eric.

  Dave and Sid looked questioningly at Eric.

  "This place has a big book store. I've not looked into it, but maybe there are some books in there that might help."

  "That's a great idea," said Dave.

  "Will we go tomorrow after we block the access roads?" asked Sid.

  "No need to wait," said Dave. "To get to the bookstore we'll be staying inside the ce
ntre so we shouldn't attract any attention at all."

  "I have my doubts that we'll find anything useful," said Sid doubtfully.

  "True. A university bookstore might provide more technical books. However, you never know what we'll find until we look."

  Sid thought for a quick moment. "I've never been one to read but let's go. I'm getting antsy having to waste daylight like this."

  Together they left off walking about the roof's edge. They hadn't seen anything below that would cause them to worry. They walked to the stairwell. Near the door to the stairwell were the improvised weapons they had picked up earlier from the tool store. With these in hand the three used the stairwell to get into the shopping centre. Eric knew where the bookstore was and quickly lead the group to it.

  Dave looked at the billboards with advertising. "Books about famous movie stars and tacky looking novels. That's rather dashed my hopes a bit."

  Sid seem to retain Dave's optimism from earlier. "No point complaining about what you can't change. Let's have a look anyway."

  The beginning of the store had exactly the sort of dreck that Dave feared the store would specialise in from what he had seen of the store's front display. But as Dave walked further into the store the books became more specialised. One section on cooking. Another on cars. A section on history. And a section on camping - this drew Dave like a moth to a flame.

  Sid and Eric wandered past Dave and split up. Dave had barely skimmed over the books in the camping section when both Sid and Eric called out. Sid held up an advanced book on firearms - it had to be advanced as it contained the word "bible" in the title and looked to be thousands of pages thick. Finding a book on firearms in an Australian store was like finding a book of forbidden German porn. But the book Eric held grabbed Dave's full attention.

  "A medical book on the human body?" said Dave.

  Eric groaned as the book as rather hefty. "It's got a lot of pictures."

  They took the medical book to a small table, and with the table supporting the book Dave began flipping through it.

  "You're not wrong about there being a lot of pictures," said Dave.

  "Eww," joked Sid. "Dead people!"

  Although the book had numerous, brightly coloured schematics, it also had colour photos from autopsies.

  "This is amazing," said Dave.

  "Thinking of being a doctor?" asked Sid.

  "Although that would be useful, this sort of knowledge could help use understand what is going on."

  "How? Bones, muscles, nerves, organs, all stuff inside the body. You can't just look at one of the dead to see this kind of stuff."

  "Which is why we need to cut one of them open," said Dave excitedly.

  "Fucking hell," said Sid. "You're out of your mind."

  Dave stopped talking and looked at Sid. "They are already dead so there's nothing too wrong with the idea of doing an autopsy on them."

  "That's not the problem. Unlike the normal dead those buggers still move. It would be dangerous as hell."

  "Good point. I've not had to fight them so I don't even know if it is possible to control one well enough to secure it to a table and operate on it. If I was to try something like this I would never do it around here. We'd have to have a temporary base that we'd have no problem abandoning. Who knows what sort attention doing an autopsy to one of the dead might bring."

  "It's still bloody dangerous," said Sid.

  "And I'm agreeing with you," said Dave. "I need to think up a safe way of doing this before even trying it."

  "So you're not going to do this autopsy thing?"

  "Not now. I'm not that foolish. Well, maybe not completely stupid."

  "There's hope for you yet," grinned Sid catching the joke.

  * * *

  After Dave, Sid and Eric spent another hour or so window shopping through the shopping centre, they returned to the roof where they saw Justin at the roof's edge looking out into the distance.

  Sid tapped Justin on the shoulder. "What's up?"

  Justine turned to look at the three who had arrived back on the roof. "I'm feeling weird."

  "What do you mean?" asked Dave.

  "For the last few days I've been in some sort of fog. I feel like I've been staggering around lost and unable to figure out what to do. But now I'm starting to make plans. I'm looking forward to getting this place secured. And once it is secured, moving from up here and into the shopping centre itself. There's a furniture store with a lot of nice looking beds. It would be something else getting off this hard roof and onto a soft bed."

  "Sounds like you're planning on living the dream," joked Dave.

  "It's certainly a simple dream. Before this happened there were always so many things to worry about and there never appeared to be anyway of being free of those worries. Work, politics, people, life, everything. It was like I had to worry about everything that existed and even those things that didn't exist. I had at least one worry for each brain cell in my head and my brain couldn't handle it."

  "And that changed?"

  "It was brutal at first. It still is. My mind's changing. At first I was kind of broken. I lost all those worries. I guess those worries had defined who I was and without them I became an empty, shell of a human being. But now I can feel hints at a purpose. It's a growing desire. Saying that my current goal is to sleep in a bed sounds so trivial, but there's a sense of liberation there. Instead of fretting about everything, now I only focus on what really matters. My life was once a haze, but now I actually appreciate being alive."

  Dave looked at Justin. "I seem to be going through a similar journey. When all this happened I somehow managed to live through it. I was in the inner city and a lot of people were killed and turned into the dead. From seeing what happened to all those people I developed a fear of the city. I have no idea if that fear was warranted, but it drove me out of the city. Even now I don't really know what my main objective is. I don't have a clear goal. But I have this irrational belief that it is out there, just waiting for me to reach out and grab it. The only reason why I can't grab it is that I'm currently blind."

  Surprise came over Justin's face. "You don't seem blind at all. In fact out of everyone here you seem to have the clearest eyes of all. We've been here for days and it never once occurred to us to secure this place. But you arrive and in minutes you're thinking of turning this place into a fortress."

  "To be honest, I think I'm doing this because of guilt. Before this happened I was just your standard office working prick. I thought that I knew how the system worked and as long as things were good for me then I didn't give a crap how it was for other people. I took people for granted. And when there were no people I weirdly missed them."

  "You don't seem lonely," said Justin.

  "No. I'm actually rather comfortable either way. I'm okay with people and I'm okay without people. I don't find myself stressed by being alone. A concept changed within me while I was leaving the city. As I made my way west, there were times when the utilities would fail. First the electricity, then the water. Even though I managed to function without them, the loss had surprised me. I guess I was naive. I sort of assumed that even without people things like electricity and water would continue to work automatically. Instead they failed almost straight away."

  Justin looked out over the car park below. Because the sun was getting ready to set, a few forms could be seen staggering in from the road way.

  "I'm not putting my ideas together too well," continued Dave. "I think that there's a certain selfishness in me. I want to survive and that's not possible on my own. I can keep going through the short term but I have my doubts over the long term. It's not just about electricity and water. What about food? The fresh food stores really stink and how long will canned food last? Farms are the answer but those require people to run. What about emergencies? There's no doctors or fire department. Civilisation needs a lot of infrastructure to survive and right now we haven't got any of that. If we want it then we'll need people to build
it."

  Justin grinned. "Again. You're seeing things that we're not seeing. You looking at this from a perspective that none of us have. How can you call yourself blind?"

  "I think that a lot of the roles that I've mentioned will be solved as we just gather more and more people. Civilisation has a habit of spontaneously emerging like that. As we get more people we'll find people willing to run hospitals and those other services that civilisation needs. There will be people who know how and are willing to get the utilities up and running. There will be people with green thumbs who'll jump at growing crops. Once we find enough people then these people will slide into the roles automatically."

  "That seems rather optimistic."

  "I'm just giving credit to the force of habit. I'm not saying anything too crazy. It's how our society worked before. I think out of habit and the desire for the familiar we'll set up our communities like how they originally were. There's just one extra parameter that we've never had to deal with before, and no matter how much we desire returning to our old way of life, this new parameter will hinder us."

  Dave pointed down at a small group of walkers. "And how do we deal with them? How can we even pretend to plan how to live while they are there? Anything we do will have to take into consideration their existence. Every plan we make must account for them in some way. What ever we do we must first think of them. How can we do that when we don't even know what they are?"

  "So that's why you'll be moving on," said Sid solemnly.

  Dave nodded. "We know some basic things, so we can herd them around a bit, I guess. But if we want a return to normal - completely to normal - then we have to get rid of them."

  "You want to hunt them down?" asked Justin quietly.

  "We know so little that I'm not even sure if that's possible. Has any one of us witnessed one of these being killed?"

  The group was silent.

  "No matter how many people we gather together, if everyone takes on one of the old roles then no one will take on this new role. Someone needs to study these things."