Useless Bastard

by Hooke, A. J. A.

  "But before we do any of that we need to set you up. There's a small camping store nearby and we should grab some bedding for you."

  * * *

  Josh looked about the clothing store. "This place really is small."

  "It looks like it covers the basics nicely. Most importantly are these."

  Dave picked up some collapsable aluminium framed stretcher beds and gave two to Josh.

  "Why two?" asked Josh.

  "One is for you to sleep on. The third will be for some sort of seat or maybe a place to store things up off the floor."

  "In that case why not just take some of those foldable chairs," said Josh pointing at some canvas chairs.

  "Good idea," said Dave picking up two and giving them to Josh.

  "I feel like my role here is to be a pack horse."

  "Only for now. Once we get everything we'll split the load up a bit more fairly and carry it back."

  Dave walked about the aisle looking for something.

  "What's next?" asked Josh.

  "The weather's not bad at the moment, so you could get away with sleeping out in the open. However, I still don't want to risk getting a cold."

  "So a sleeping bag."

  "Exactly," said Dave picking up two items off a shelf, "and a sleeping mat."

  "You certainly know your stuff."

  "I've been reading a lot lately."

  "Reading?"

  "Working in an office didn't prepare me for this at all. I'm trying to read as much as I can to fill in the holes in my ability to function as a human being. I've been shocked just how unprepared I am for times like this."

  "I've always been the sort to use his hands so I don't mind this sort of thing."

  Dave looked at Josh. "You're a better man than me."

  "That's not to say that I know about this camping stuff."

  "We're in the same boat. And can I ask you to do something?"

  "Sure."

  "I'd like it if you also took the time to learn everything that you can."

  "I can see how that would be helpful. It would help distribute the load."

  "Thanks."

  Dave was looking at some portable cooking equipment.

  "Anything that catches you eye?" asked Josh.

  "I've already got a little gas cooker, but I wouldn't mind more cooking options. This grill uses fire. There's a lot of trees nearby so we have firewood, and if I could save gas then I will. At some point we'll need to boil our our drinking water and that will use up a lot of fuel."

  "Should we take the grill then?"

  "No, this store is so close that going back and forth isn't an issue. There's no point doing our backs in. Let's take what we already have back and set them up."

  Together they walked out of the clothing store and looked at the defensive walls.

  "We have to climb these?" asked Josh groaning at the sight of the bus in front of him.

  "It's annoying. This clothes shop is directly across the street from the supermarket, but the entrance is on the road heading east."

  "So that's two damn walls that we got to climb over?" said Josh knowing full well what the answer was.

  "Maybe at some point we can go looking for some ladders or something. Even then carrying things over the walls will be fiddly as heck."

  "How about we add walkways to the corners so that we can go from wall to wall easily?"

  "I'm thinking that you've got your tasks for tomorrow planned out."

  "You got something else in mind for today?"

  "Mostly. I first want to get you a place to sleep and then I want secure this intersection some more."

  "This looks pretty secure. What could you do to make it better?"

  "I'll show you. First take these," said Dave handing over everything that he was carrying to Josh.

  "Argh."

  "One moment while I climb up," said Dave turning to the defensive wall and climbed up onto a bus. "Hand them up."

  "Okay," said Josh holding one item at a time above his head.

  Dave grabbed each item and placed them down on the roof of the bus. Once all the items were handed up and placed on the bus roof, Josh climbed up onto the bus roof and stood alongside Dave.

  "Just before I came here," said Dave pointing east, "I was on top of a small corner store about a kilometre away. I was camping out on a rooftop there when I heard gunfire in this direction. Obviously this place was the source of the gun fire."

  Josh kicked some empty bullet cases from the top of the bus. "Must of been a hell of a fight."

  "I agree. There was a lot of shooting and it went on for some time. Then I heard a vehicle, or maybe more, driving down the south road."

  Josh looked to the south. "So there are people down south?"

  "I'm guessing so. I've not explored far that way. Only to that bridge near the line of trees."

  "Is that a river?"

  "It hard to see but it's a decent size river so I doubt we'll ever have any water problems."

  "This looks like a solid defensive position. So why did they run away?"

  "No idea. I'm hoping that we'll meet up at some point and I'll have the events of what happened here filled in. It's my guess that they left for a simple reason: these defences were simply not enough."

  "These defences weren't enough? I'm on board with giving them a boost then. Let's get this stuff across and get started."

  "I'm rather liking you idea of adding walkways to these walls. Make sure that I don't forget about that idea."

  Dave climbed down from the bus and Josh handed their items down to him. Dave placed the items near the bus of the last wall they needed to cross. Once all the items were down, Dave climbed up while Josh climbed down. Soon they were handing items to each other, with Dave placing the items onto the roofs of the buses that made up the south wall. With all the items up, Dave climbed down while Josh climbed up. After transferring the items downwards Josh climbed down to join Dave.

  "We are definitely going to need a better solution than that," said Josh.

  "Well, we're on the final leg, so grab half and let's get inside."

  They picked up about half of the items each and walked to the doors of the supermarket. Dave opened one of the doors and let Josh in. Dave followed Josh and closed the door behind them. Together they walked to the store room and stood at the ladder. Dave put all his items down and climbed up the ladder. Josh lifted the items in turn up to Dave who placed them on the roof. Josh then climbed the roof and joined Dave.

  "To think," said Dave, "this isn't half of what I want up here."

  "Damn. I can hear my back complaining."

  "Well, let's check the hut first."

  "We're not moving in right away?"

  "As you can see, I slept outside last night. I only washed the insides yesterday and it needed more time to dry out."

  Together they walked over to the hut and entered it.

  "Looks dry," commented Josh.

  "Doesn't look bad at all, but it does have some parts that haven't fully dried."

  "Should I set up outside."

  "The stretchers don't have much ground contact so I think that we could set up our beds in here and just leave the door open for a few more days."

  "So, which is your bedroom?"

  Dave grinned. "How about we place a bed either side of the hut?"

  "Trying to get us as far apart as possible?"

  "If we were right against each other then we'd hear all those small sounds that we make in our sleep. A bit of space might make for a better night's sleep."

  "I'll take the far wall," said Josh.

  "I wanted the wall nearest the door."

  "Wait. Why would you want that?"

  "I don't have that much of a gas problem, but if you want to cook then you'll need to do it outside. Wouldn't want any explosions."

  "You dirty bugger," laughed Josh.

  "Anyway. The day's getting on and there's still a lot to do. Let's set up as best we can."

&nbs
p; "Got it."

  While Josh went over to the items left near the hatch, Dave walked to his stretcher and just lifted it all up at once. Dave was worried that he'd have to roll up his sleeping bag and mat but this simpler approach seemed possible. Dave lugged the stretcher into the hut and placed the head away from the door.

  "That's bloody cheating," said Josh carrying a foldable bed into the hut after Dave.

  "I'll help carrying the other stuff in."

  While Josh got to work opening up his stretcher and placing it against the wall of the hut, Dave walked out and over the to foldable chairs which he picked up. As Dave carried them over to the hut, Dave decided to unfold the chairs so they were ready to be placed against the hut wall on the outside.

  "Not putting them inside?"

  "There's not a lot of space in there, plus we don't have much in the way of artificial lighting. If we do something like reading then it's going to be done outside."

  Josh nodded and walked over to pick up a sleeping bag and mat. Josh carried those back to the hut while Dave came over and picked up the spare stretcher. They both walked into the hut. Josh began by unrolling the sleeping mat and then placed the sleeping bag on top of the mat. Meanwhile Dave unfolded the stretcher and placed it against the wall with the door and under the window. While Josh compared the layout of the two bunk beds, Dave walked out of the hut. In a moment Dave was back and placed his backpack onto the spare stretcher.

  "With some shelves and some cupboards we'd have a rather cosy home."

  "Better add those to the list of chores."

  "Anything else?"

  Dave looked thoughtful. "Come out the back for a moment."

  Together they left the hut and went to the rear of the supermarket roof. Dave looked over the half-wall and Josh copied him.

  "What are you looking for?" asked Josh.

  "I'd really like mean of getting up and down somewhere about here."

  "Are you thinking of stairs? That's a bit of work."

  "No. I once spent the night on a place that had a retractable ladder. I'd like a way of going up and down, but which can be put away if we really want to secure the roof."

  Josh looked at the ground below. "A ladder is still your best bet. But I'll have to dick about with the best way to do it."

  "I'm sure you'll figure something out. I wanted to bring this up now so we'd get this happening as a priority. If we put ladders on the walls in the intersection then we might run out of ladders."

  "So we have to ration the ladders."

  "I'll leave that for you to work on tomorrow. We've got other work to do today."

  "You're a damn slave driver."

  Dave nodded - distracted by the details of his plans.

  * * *

  Dave and Josh were standing in front of the doors to the supermarket.

  "My goals are rather simple," said Dave. "I just want to close this part of the street off so that it's harder for visitors to start banging on these doors."

  Josh looked at the supermarket doors and nodded. "The doors are made of glass so the less they get banged the better."

  "I was thinking of finding some buses and parking them just along here," said Dave marking a line from the southernmost edge of the supermarket on one side of the road to the southernmost edge of the clothing store on the other side of the road with a pointed finger.

  "The area that's going to be here is really going to feel a bit small."

  "I have another concern," said Dave walking down the road towards the south. He and Josh walked past the supermarket and stood in front of a small parking lot that was put aside for the people using the supermarket.

  "That roller door is the access for trucks delivering to the supermarket," said Dave. "If we blocked off the road then that door would still be accessible from this road." Dave then pointed down the road to the south. "The river is down there. If we had a trolly packed with water we could still push it into the supermarket without having to lift heavy water containers over a wall."

  Josh looked thoughtful. "I don't know. You've moved the supermarket's weak point from its front door to a different door around the back. And to be honest that roller door doesn't look all that sturdy. I don't think it can hold off more than half a dozen dead if they were to get the mood for breaking in."

  "But it's still better than the glass doors."

  "The supermarket should be the last line of our defences. I think we should isolate it as much as possible."

  Dave frowned. "I like the idea of having multiple lines of defence. I was just thinking that we mightn't have enough resources."

  "What do you mean by resources?"

  "Things like trucks and buses, we'd need quite a few if we were to make a lot of walls."

  "Not a problem, I reckon that within easy walking distance we'd find all the trucks and buses that we'd need."

  "I have to admit that I never thought of doing this while I was travelling, so I never bothered to count up how many trucks and buses were around."

  Josh walked a little way into the car park. "There's some houses behind the supermarket and they have a continuous fence on this side." Josh walked further into the car spot. "And the fence comes really close to the western side of the supermarket. We'd just have to stuff some junk in there to block that off."

  To the left of the houses was a grassy field. "What about over there."

  Josh pointed to the building south of the car spot and asked: "What's that?"

  "I think it's a butchers."

  "Anyway, there's not much of a gap here. If you found a van you could just drive it over the field and wedge it diagonally between the butchers and the nearest house."

  Josh walked back to the road.

  "So what about this side?" asked Dave.

  To the east, from left to right, were the clothing/camping store, an arts and crafts store and a tiny electronics stores that seemed to be selling goods from over fifty years ago.

  "Those stores are just not that far apart, so you could easily park a van or some small truck in front of the spaces between."

  Dave looked at Josh. "I know that I've got some big plans, but sometimes I struggle with the actual implementation. It's damn helpful having someone to bounce ideas off. But here's the challenge, how do we block the road? Remember we'll need to get a trolly through there somehow." Dave drew out a line in the air that pointed from the butchers to the electronic store.

  Josh gave a wink. "Leave that to me. How about you start by finding some vans and the like and parking them over the places that we just mentioned? Start with the two on either side of this art house, and then do the one on the field at the back of the car park. But, if we find a van with big doors on each side then I get first call on it."

  "Okay let's get going."

  "Let's go south."

  Dave looked unsure. "The road south has been cleared by getting the vehicles off the road. They might be stuck."

  "What work will work and if it doesn't we just try the the next one."

  "I'm good with that. Let's be quick. This could attract some unwelcome visitors."

  Together they started walking down the road to the south. The first two vehicles they came across were some four wheel drive SUVs.

  "Those are big enough to block the gaps on either side of that arts and craft store," suggested Josh. "And I can see a good looking van just a little further on. Let's spilt up and get to work."

  As Josh walked further south along the road, Dave got into the nearest SUV. The keys were still in the ignition. Clearly this vehicle had just been driven off the road. Had it been pushed he probably wouldn't have found the keys. Dave started the engine and hoped the SUV hadn't gotten bogged. He tried reversing and the SUV easily backed up onto the road. Switching to forward, Dave drove up the street and cut close against the arts store and stopped when he was certain that he had closed off the space between the arts store and the clothing store.

  Dave turned off the engine and made certain that the do
ors along the right side of SUV were locked. He scrambled over to the passenger side, opened the door and got out. He closed the SUV's door. Now that he was outside the SUV, Dave carefully inspected how he had parked. It wasn't a waterproof seal, but he couldn't see anyway that a walker could get through. At least if the walkers continued to move the way that they always did.

  Satisfied, Dave began walking down the road to try out the second SUV. As he was walking, Josh drove up in a van and parked it face first against the front of the butchers. Josh got out and inspected his park. Seemingly content he jogged over to Dave and together they walked south.

  "Decent start," said Josh.

  "Luck is on our side so far, and I don't like relying on luck."

  "Then let's do this quickly."

  With that said, Dave detoured for the nearest SUV. He got in, found the keys were still in the ignition. The SUV started easily and Dave had no problem getting it onto the road. Just like the first SUV he headed towards the arts store, only this time he parked it over the gap between the art store and electronics store.

  After scraping against one of the buildings, Dave turned off the engine, locked the doors on the right side, and got out of the left side. He inspected how he parked and couldn't see anything too wrong with it. Dave suspected that they'd have to fill up some gaps here and there at a later time, but for now it would hold off the bulk of trouble.

  Dave walked south a bit. He couldn't see where Josh had gone. He couldn't hear the sounds of any vehicles being driven. Because this section of road had fields either side, the open view reassured Dave that so far the noise that they made hadn't attracted any attention. Dave stopped near an abandoned van.

  Dave got in the van and started it up. He got up on the road and began driving towards the intersection where he was camped out. Before reaching the butchers, Dave turned left and onto a grassy patch that seem to lead around behind the butchers. It wasn't meant to be a drivable road, and after a few slippery moments, Dave managed to get the van behind the butchers and wedged between that building and the fence surrounding one of the residential houses.

  After locking the doors that faced the field, Dave got out of the opposite doors and checked how he had parked. It wasn't particularly good but it would work at a basic level. It would definitely need some more work before he would be confident that it would work as a blocking barrier. Not knowing what else to do Dave walked through the parking lot and out onto the street. Before reaching the street Dave could hear the engine of a heavy vehicle and when he reached the street he could see Josh driving a bus from the south. Dave wondered where Josh had found the bus as he didn't remember one when he had walked to the bridge to get water.