Peepshow

by Clare London

  “Do that too much and I’ll come in my jeans,” he whispered.

  “It’ll be payback,” Ken grunted back. His cock was hardening as he rubbed his crotch against Jimmy’s.

  “Shit. You mean, when you were watching me? You came?”

  Ken gulped. He couldn’t think straight when Jimmy ran his hand up the front of Ken’s shirt. “Yes.”

  “Messy?”

  Ken laughed shortly. “Very.”

  “That’s so fucking hot,” Jimmy breathed. He rolled against Ken’s body, seeking more friction. “You deserve payback for that. Do it.”

  “What?”

  Jimmy kissed him hard, muttered into his mouth. “Make me come. I’m almost there. Make me come in my jeans. Make me messy, all for you.”

  Ken didn’t know whether to laugh or cheer. He’d never been so turned on in his life, not even when he was watching Waiter and dreaming of it. He clutched Jimmy and ground his hips against him. Jimmy shuddered, and gasped. A track changed in the pub music. A siren sounded far away on the other side of the main road. The night air tickled Ken’s neck. Ken slid his hand back inside Jimmy’s jeans and grabbed a handful of lean buttock.

  Jimmy made a strange, guttural noise and shook from head to toe. If Ken hadn’t been hanging on to him, he thought Jimmy would have rolled off the bench onto the cold ground. His head went back, and even though his eyes were closed this time, Ken recognised the expression as Jimmy climaxed.

  Ken lay there, gasping, as Jimmy’s body stilled. Jimmy opened his eyes and stared into Ken’s. They both laughed shakily; then Jimmy dragged himself back up to sitting. He looked dazed. “Ken, what about you?”

  “I’m okay.” He was still aching to come as well, but he could wait. He didn’t think his nerves would take any more orgasms on a wooden seat, not tonight. “That was… wow.”

  “Shit, that was fantastic. Better than thinking of you out in that mean old backyard.”

  He thought of me when he was touching himself? Ken felt the grin creeping over his face. “So much better than on a screen,” he murmured.

  Jimmy slid a hand around Ken’s waist as if casually reaching for the back pocket of Ken’s jeans. The hand fit snugly against Ken’s arse, and Jimmy chuckled. “Unless that’s what you like.”

  “I don’t know.” For the first time, Ken felt uneasy. “It was really hot. But now I know it was you—though I’m glad it was you, don’t get me wrong—I feel odd about it.”

  “Huh?”

  Jimmy looked puzzled, and Ken thought he probably should keep his mouth shut but couldn’t help himself. “Like I say, I don’t really know. It was a bizarre way to start a reunion, don’t you think?”

  Jimmy didn’t laugh as Ken thought he might. He tilted his head to one side, as if reappraising Ken. “It was too weird for you?”

  “Not weird.” Ken had never thought of himself as inhibited, and it wasn’t that. It had been as hot as hell watching Jimmy rub himself until his eyes glittered in the dark, his head fell back in just that way, and his mouth opened wide—and Ken came all over his hand at the same time. “It just seems… things have happened the wrong way around.”

  “You didn’t want—?” Jimmy gestured uncertainly at the bench as if it’d tell the tale.

  “No.” Ken was emphatic. “That was great. That was… real.”

  “But you think I should have called you up first? Gone for that pizza you suggested?”

  “I don’t need all that hearts-and-flowers stuff. Don’t be daft.” But Ken was the one feeling daft. What was his problem? He liked the feel of Jimmy’s hand on his thigh. The warmth of Jimmy’s body beside him. Oh yes, this was very real, and if he was honest with himself, he wanted to go much further, much faster. Did it matter how they met up again, what they’d done together before they even touched in real life? Darling, won’t you ease my worried mind? If Ken told the others about the night-time watching, Si would shrug and Robbie would probably slap him on the shoulder in congratulation. And Jimmy seemed just the same as he’d been at school, back in the day. Genuine, amusing, and sexy. Why not take advantage of the fact the sexual attraction was already established? Now they were grown men together, now Ken knew Jimmy was interested, now Ken had kissed him for real—

  He shivered with pleasure and leaned in for another round.

  But now Jimmy looked wary. “It’s not just about getting off, Ken. I mean that, you know?”

  “Of course I do.”

  Ken must have sounded unconvincing, because Jimmy sat straight up on the bench, not moving any closer. “I want things to be good. Shit, maybe I have been away too long. If I fucked up with a stupid joke….”

  “No!” Ken protested. “I mean… no, you didn’t.” What the hell had he been doing, complaining? When he’d been at school, he’d have come as quickly as Jimmy did, if Jimmy had even brushed against him in the corridor. And now he was holding him at bay. Look at me, never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut.

  “Ken?”

  “Sorry. I zoned out.” He smiled as warmly as he could, trying to show Jimmy he was still interested. Jimmy had his hand on Ken’s thigh, so maybe Ken had given the right impression after all, despite his embarrassing tendency to wander off mentally into movie land. Jimmy Evans was a good bloke, Robbie had said. Ken agreed—Jimmy Evans was a good bloke. He felt a wave of relief.

  “Thing is, I want a lot more, Ken,” Jimmy said. His voice was ragged.

  “Me too.” Anyone else wanna negotiate?

  “I want to see more of you. Go out with you. Have sex with you. Properly.” Jimmy’s tone was dogged.

  “You mean, in the same room?” Ken smiled encouragingly.

  Jimmy grinned back. “It’s okay if you need more time. If we do. We’ll take it slow.” His eyes were twinkling again, though he stayed sitting rather chastely next to Ken.

  “You make me sound like I’m some virginal romance heroine who wants wooing. This is the twenty-first century, Jimmy. I already know what I want.”

  They kissed again. Ken’s heart beat double time.

  “Are you free Sunday?” Jimmy murmured. “I’m working late-night functions at the restaurant all weekend, but I’m off on Sunday. What about you?”

  “I’m… not sure when I’m working next. But Sunday’s fine.”

  There was more kissing. Ken’s breathing got very shallow. “Keep this up, Jimmy, and it’ll be my turn to get overexcited again.”

  “Damn.” Jimmy broke off and glanced at his watch. “I’ve got to go. My brother’s only free until midnight. I have to get back to take over for Dad.” He glanced down ruefully at the lap of his jeans. “And I have to clean up, right? I’ll call you about Sunday.”

  Yes, Ken thought. He’s a good bloke. “That’s great.”

  They spent a fumbling few moments exchanging mobile numbers; then Jimmy stood and buttoned up his coat. He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I think I just got things the wrong way around. With us. I’ll sort it out, Ken, believe me. We can start again with a proper date, right?”

  “I think we’re past that now. Don’t you think?” Ken smiled to take the sting out of it, but Jimmy still looked distracted. With another glance at his watch, he raised a hand in goodbye, turned, and hurried away.

  WHEN KEN wandered into the office the following night, Suzie turned around in surprise. “Ken? You’re not on yet, are you?” She glanced at the clock and frowned. “There’s still another couple of hours to go until your shift. What’s up?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve got nothing else going on. Thought I could start early tonight, give you some extra time off to spend with the kids.”

  “What do you want?”

  “Sorry?”

  She burst out laughing. “If you could see the look on your face! It’s okay, I know you’re not after my body. And you’re a good kid. I’m not going to say no to leaving early. But is there a favour you need? I don’t get paid until next week, the same as you—”

  “No, it
’s not that. Not at all.” He couldn’t help his gaze sliding over Suzie’s head and onto the central screen.

  “What? It’s something about that view, isn’t it? The backyard of the bistro.” Suzie narrowed her eyes. “All the waiters come out there to smoke. They’re good-looking guys.” It looked like she was trying not to laugh. “Can’t keep away, huh?”

  Ken bit his lower lip and scowled. “Please. It’s not like that.” Much. “I was at school with one of them. He’s called Jimmy.” His heart gave an astonishing little hiccup. But may thy heartbeat kiss it, night and day, until the name grow blurred and fade away.

  “There’s another of those Shakespearean-lover looks on your face again, Ken. You’re too easy to read.” Suzie laughed and swung around on the chair to mock punch his arm. “Good for you, kid. You deserve some romance.”

  He nodded and smiled, but he knew it wasn’t totally genuine. “It’s not quite like that, Suze. We met… well, in a rather weird way. I’m having trouble seeing past that, really.” What was he rambling on about? Suzie really oughtn’t to have that sympathetic, helpful look on her face; it just encouraged him to humiliate himself even further. He glanced at the screen again, but it was all quiet behind the bistro.

  Why had he told Jimmy he didn’t know when he was next at work? Was he trying to catch him out? Ken had a ghastly image of Jimmy jerking off to anyone who was watching, not just Ken. Perhaps Jimmy was some kind of exhibitionist?

  Suzie had pulled on her coat but seemed reluctant to leave. “Ken? You look a bit worried. Upset.”

  “Do you think it’s weird, Suze? This job?”

  “You mean watching a place where your friend hangs out?” She shrugged. She’d seen right through him. “That’s the way it is. It’s not like you’re spying on him, or he doesn’t know you’re here.” She peered at him again. “Does he?”

  “Of course he does. We’ve talked about it. We’re on the same page.” Or should that be same screen? But Jimmy didn’t know Ken was here tonight, did he? Did that matter?

  “I can hear your brain working, Ken. Lots of clunking and whirring. Needs more WD-40.”

  Ken laughed. “Aren’t you leaving, Mum?”

  And then a flicker caught the corner of his eye, and he turned to watch the screen again. A figure darted out of the back door of the restaurant and ran quickly across the yard towards the sheltered corner.

  “What’s happening?” Suzie shuffled up beside him, her curious gaze following his. “Oh, it’s only him.”

  “What do you mean, him?”

  “That looks like Jimmy.”

  Ken felt himself flush. “Well, yes, it does. I suppose you guessed that from this embarrassingly open look you say I have—”

  “No way,” Suzie interrupted cheerfully. “I’ve seen him already.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t say ‘what,’ say ‘pardon.’ And look for yourself.” Suzie turned Ken back towards the screen. She was definitely smirking.

  Ken could see the side of Jimmy’s head and his lean body. He was wriggling around behind the bin. Then he looked quickly around the yard, as if checking he was alone. His arm snaked out in front of him, then down the back of his trousers, and his shoulders braced as if he was about to grasp hold of something.

  Nausea tugged at Ken’s throat. So Jimmy was right when he said it’d been a joke. A joke on Ken and anyone else who was looking in. Again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter! To Ken’s horror, he realised Suzie was still standing beside him, leaning towards the screen to see better. “Get back!” he snapped, putting his arm out across her, stopping her coming closer. “Turn the bloody thing off!”

  “Hey!” Suzie pushed back, annoyed. “I only wanted to see the signs again.”

  Ken’s mind did its own version of a double take. “Signs?”

  “For God’s sake, Ken.” Suzie leaned over his arm and tweaked the contrast button. “Just watch, will you?”

  As Ken stared at the screen, Jimmy straightened up, but now he had something white in his arms. He turned towards the camera, and Ken saw it was a roll of kitchen paper. Jimmy unrolled a handful of sheets and seemed to wipe his hand quickly over them.

  “It’s a pen,” Suzie hissed beside Ken. “He’s writing.”

  Ken didn’t ask her what she was talking about, because now he could see. Jimmy lifted up the first sheet of paper and held it up in front of his face. The camera caught it at just the right angle to be read clearly.

  HELLO, KEN. Up came another sheet. FROM JIMMY. And another. URGENT.

  “What the hell’s going on?” Ken asked of no one in particular.

  ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

  Suzie snorted in Ken’s ear.

  BEST OF INTENTIONS. MINE, THAT IS.

  “What’s that about, Ken? You’re blushing.”

  STUPID JOKE. NEVER SHOULD HAVE DONE IT. FORGET IT. FORGIVE ME.

  “Ahh, that’s sweet!”

  ANOTHER DATE?

  “Oooh!”

  “Shut up, Suze.”

  CAN PICK YOU UP AT 7. SUNDAY. PROPER DATE. HEARTS. FLOWERS. OK? PROPER RESPECT. NO DODGY JOKES.

  A brief pause, then a single word, underlined.

  PLEASE.

  “Daft melodrama. He could have just called me,” Ken said. His eyes stung just a little bit.

  LOST YOUR NUMBER. BROTHER DROPPED MY PHONE IN LOO.

  Another impatient scribble on the paper.

  LONG, SMELLY STORY.

  “I’ll bet,” Suzie said.

  WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

  “How could he know if I was on tonight?” Ken whispered, like Jimmy might hear him.

  Suzie gave an impatient tut. “He’s done this twice already tonight, each time he has a break. Different phrases, same message. He obviously means to keep it up until he gets your attention. God knows what Charlie would have made of it if he’d been on duty. I’d have told you before I left, honest—but now I don’t need to.” Suzie nudged Ken in the ribs. “You still want to turn the bloody thing off?”

  “No, of course not. I just don’t know why he couldn’t wait and get my number again from Ollie or one of the others.”

  Another sheet fluttered in the dim backyard.

  DON’T WANT TO WAIT. MUST TELL YOU.

  “What? What?” Suzie craned forward. “This is a new announcement!”

  CRICKET TROUSERS HOT.

  “Huh?”

  Ken started to laugh.

  BE MY BOYFRIEND, KEN COOPER.

  And another shake of the single word sheet.

  PLEASE.

  The door back into the restaurant opened and light spilled out into the yard. A couple of other waiters sauntered out. Ken saw the click of a lighter, a packet of cigs being shared. One of them waved at Jimmy as if reminding him his break was over now. Jimmy quickly balled up the sheets and stuffed them into the nearest bin, then darted out from the shadows and ran back into the bistro.

  “Ken? Ken!” Suzie was almost shaking him in her excitement. “What did all that mean? Are you going out with him? What’s happening? When did you wear cricket trousers, for God’s sake?”

  “Got to go,” Ken said. He felt very warm and very happy. He had the horrid suspicion Suzie would read all that in his face—or the goofy grin he couldn’t seem to turn off—but he couldn’t care less. “Sorry, Suze, but I’ll have to withdraw my offer of cover.”

  Suzie was already shrugging off her coat again. “Go on, get off down there. Charlie and I will cover your shift tonight, though you’ll owe me a large bar of chocolate for it. Two, probably, plus some sherbet lemons for the kids.”

  Ken hugged her. He’d be down at the bistro in fifteen minutes, let Jimmy know he was there and that he’d seen his message. They could spend Jimmy’s next break together. They could walk home together. They were boyfriends now, weren’t they?

  “Unusual courtship ritual,” Suzie said. She was shaking with laughter.

  “Has been from t
he beginning,” Ken replied, happily. “But I’ve realised it doesn’t matter how, as long as you get there in the end. I didn’t wait all that time since year eleven to give up now.”

  Suzie stared at him as if he’d gone completely mad. “You look revoltingly lovesick, Ken. I think I may throw up.”

  But Ken didn’t wait to hear if she did or not, because he was racing out the door and down the stairs on the way out of the security centre.

  “Was there something extra special he said in those notes?” Suzie called after him.

  “Who cares?” Ken yelled back.

  After all, Jimmy had him at hello!

  Exclusive Excerpt

  A London Lads Story

  It’s bad enough waiting at an airport, without adding a mess of kids, ketchup and candy.

  Garry’s at the end of his tether. He’s waiting at Glasgow Airport to meet his friend Will, on their way to a holiday in a Scottish highlands hotel. Now there’s a ten-hour delay to incoming flights, the seat in the lounge is more like an instrument of torture, and he’s beyond tired of airport food.

  He’s also dreading having to apologise for the pass he recently made at Will, his colleague at a London bank, under the influence of too many beers and a long-held crush. Now Will’s been offered a new job offer on a continent thousands of miles away, Garry realizes it may be the end of their close friendship—let alone anything more.

  To add to Garry’s stress, he’s treated to the company of Emily and Max, two young people who think he needs educating in the ways of the world. Struggling with their well-meaning help and the startling mess from spilled ketchup and noxious-smelling sweets, he’s encouraged to re-examine how he feels about Will and to decide what kind of journey he’d really like them to take together.

  Coming Soon to

  www.dreamspinnerpress.com

  GARRY SUSPECTED he knew what tipped psychotics over the edge.

  It wasn’t childhood trauma or thwarted world domination. Far from it! It was the agony of a plastic bucket chair digging into the back of your legs in the middle of a chaotic Arrivals lounge. Add to that the robotic monotone of the Glasgow Airport PA system offering “apologies for the inconvenience caused to those customers awaiting incoming flights from the USA,” and it was like salt rubbed into a wound.