Reach for a Star

by Kathryn Freeman

  His face relaxed and he smiled. ‘Jessie it is then.’

  ‘Good. Now when do you need to go to the airport?’

  He glanced at his elegant watch and winced. ‘About ten minutes ago?’

  ‘Damn. I’ll just check Annabel is okay to take the boys home and then I’ll take you.’

  ‘I can call a cab.’

  ‘No. You were only with me for twenty-four hours. I’m not going to let you waste half an hour of that giving the cab driver your company rather than me.’

  Her heart sunk at the thought of another airport run. Another goodbye kiss. Determined to make the most of him while she had him, she leaned into his side, wrapping her arm around his waist as they walked towards where Annabel and Phil were talking to some of the other parents.

  She no longer wanted to hide her relationship with him. Stuff the press speculation, for as long as it lasted she was proud to be Michael’s woman.

  After giving Annabel some hasty instructions for Jack and Luke – make sure they put their muddy boots in a separate bag, ask them twice if they’ve collected all their kit – she waved goodbye, feeling the eyes of everyone following them.

  ‘You do realise you’ll be the talk of Hazelford for the next week,’ Michael remarked dryly as they climbed into her car.

  ‘Yep,’ she announced cheerfully. ‘They’re all going to be wondering how I managed to bag a singing superstar. I’ll be inundated with visits to the pharmacy from single women wanting some of the potion I slipped into your coffee while we were doing the show.’

  ‘I seem to recall coffee was a sore point between us.’

  She caught his glance and as he gave her a sheepish smile she marvelled at how different he was now from that first day at the studio.

  They chatted for the rest of the journey about little things; memories from the show, the boys’ football. Anything to not think about the biggest question hanging between them. When would they see each other again?

  ‘Is anyone going with you to the awards?’ she asked as she pulled into a parking bay, guilt pricking at her. For a man who wasn’t a people person, who didn’t like parties, it must be tough going by himself.

  Michael shifted on his seat. ‘I’m taking Georgina.’

  Jessie’s hands clenched the steering wheel but she tried to keep her tone neutral. ‘Well, I hope you have a good evening. It must be very gratifying picking up an award.’

  ‘I wanted it to be you.’

  The quiet tone, the serious expression, made her feel like a bitch. But why had he gone on to invite the woman he had to know was making a play for him? ‘I know you did. I’m so sorry I couldn’t go.’

  His chest rose and fell as he slowly exhaled before slipping his hand into his jacket pocket and pulling out a rectangular box. ‘When I thought I’d be taking you, I bought this. I had hoped you would wear it.’ He handed her the red box and when their eyes met he smiled, though she saw in it his hesitancy, his vulnerability. As if he was afraid of her reaction.

  Jessie’s hands shook as she accepted it. She didn’t need to be an expert in jewellery to recognise the name written across the top in gold letters. Carefully she opened it, her heart feeling like it was in a pinball machine as it bounced around inside her chest.

  There, nestling in white silk, was a stunning ruby and diamond necklace, set in a modern white gold setting.

  ‘I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but I’ve got a thing for you in red,’ he commented as she picked it up with trembling fingers.

  ‘From now on I will always wear red,’ she murmured, completely overawed. Longingly she ran her fingers over it before regretfully returning it to its box. ‘It’s truly breathtaking, Michael, but as I’m not going, you should have it back.’

  But please God, don’t give it to Georgina.

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘It would look pretty silly on me.’

  She let out an exasperated huff. ‘That’s not what I meant and you know it. I can’t accept this, it’s too much.’

  Picking up the necklace, he held it against her face. ‘If this was a film I’d put it on you, and the ruby would settle perfectly in your cleavage.’ He let out a strangled sound, part laugh, part frustration. ‘Then I’d kiss your incredible breasts and make love to you for so long we’d miss the damn ceremony anyway.’

  That place between her legs pulsed and she gave him a wobbly smile. ‘I wish.’

  ‘Me, too.’ He dropped the necklace onto her lap. ‘Please, I want you to have it. Perhaps you could wear it for me sometime.’

  Jessie knew she was going to cry again. It was such a beautiful gift, something she could have worn to the award ceremony with her head held high. In return, all she’d done was let him down. Unable to find the right words, her emotions too volatile, she settled for a simple, totally inadequate, thank you before draping her arms around his neck and hugging him. Hoping he could tell from that how touched she was. How utterly overcome.

  He returned her embrace, his arms tightening as she sobbed quietly into his neck. But the angle was awkward and after a few minutes she reluctantly let him go. ‘Have a good time, but miss me occasionally.’

  He kissed the tears on her cheeks. ‘I’ll have an okay time, and miss you always.’

  ‘Oh no, you can’t say that.’ She sniffed, wiping her face with the back of her hand. ‘You’ll make me cry again.’

  ‘Sorry.’ This time it was his thumb that brushed at her wet cheeks. His breath that fanned warm across her face as he sighed. ‘I have to go.’

  She cried all the way home, feeling as if she’d lost part of herself. The better part of herself.

  ‘Good God, what’s wrong?’ Annabel exclaimed as Jessie stepped into the house.

  ‘Nothing.’ Annabel scowled and Jessie acknowledged that her red, puffy eyes were a dead giveaway. ‘Okay, Michael had to leave because he’s going to an award ceremony tonight. With Georgina.’

  ‘Is that the super bitch PA?’

  ‘The very same.’

  ‘Wow, that sucks. He didn’t think to invite you?’

  ‘Ah, well, he did invite me.’

  Annabel looked puzzled for a moment. ‘But you said no because… ah, I get it, because of the football match.’

  ‘Exactly. And before he knew I couldn’t go, he bought me this amazing necklace, which he’s just given to me as I dropped him off. It said flipping Cartier on the box.’

  ‘Flipping Cartier, eh? Not just your average Cartier?’

  Jessie groaned. ‘Shut up. You know what I mean. It has to be really expensive.’

  ‘Let me get this straight. Michael wanted you to go to an awards ceremony with him, presumably because he’d won something?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And instead of being annoyed you couldn’t go, he gave you a necklace worth a month’s salary?’

  ‘A year’s.’ Jessie bit into her lip. ‘God, how can he give me something worth a year’s salary?’

  ‘For the same reason he flew all the way here to watch a bunch of boys play football. He’s besotted with you.’

  But if he was, and who knew how long that would last, what sort of girlfriend was she if she wasn’t by his side when he needed her? He’d downplayed it, but tonight he’d won an award and he’d wanted her there to see him collect it.

  She’d not just let him down, she’d allowed Georgina, of all people, to take her place.

  ‘I should have gone.’ As soon as she said the words, Jessie realised…

  ‘You still can.’

  Exactly that. If she was lucky, there was still time.

  What followed was an hour of frantic activity. Annabel booked the flight while Jessie dragged out the red dress she’d worn at The Week of Your Life final. After throwing it into an overnight bag, along with a few toiletries, a change of underwear and a passport, she was bundled into the car by Phil who drove her to the same airport she’d just come from.

  ‘When we were together we only once went on a plane,’ he mumbled go
od-naturedly as he dropped her off. ‘Now you can’t seem to keep off the damn things.’

  Because she wanted to surprise Michael, Jessie swallowed her pride and messaged Georgina to find out details of where the ceremony was, and to make sure she’d be allowed in. In her reply, along with the information, Georgina added:

  He’s expecting me to accompany him.

  Much as the idea appealed to her, Jessie knew it was best not to trample on Georgina’s toes. Frankly, she wasn’t sure she was ready to walk down a red carpet with Michael in the full glare of the media, anyway. She just wanted to make the gesture, as he’d already done for her. So she typed back:

  I know. I will come in via the back entrance. I’ll let you know when I’m there.

  Once she’d arrived she waited quietly, patiently in a side room, her necklace sparkling, the ruby nestled perfectly between her breasts, just as Michael had imagined, but he didn’t show. An hour later, Jessie received a message from Georgina.

  Sorry, we were held up at the reception. I’ll bring him to you after the awards have been presented.

  She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to cry, or to scream. Why had she decided to surprise Michael? Because you wanted to see his genuine reaction. She couldn’t deny there had been an element of that. A need to see how he really felt about her coming to see him on his home turf. Now, thanks to the super bitch PA, as Annabel had so aptly called her, the idea had spectacularly backfired.

  One of the kind security staff allowed her into the main hall and though she had to stand, and the view was to the side, she did at least get to see Michael pick up his award.

  And finally, three hours after she’d arrived, she got to see Michael.

  The look on his face when he saw her, the utter disbelief, yet also the unmistakable delight, made up for the wasted hours and all the hassle. Almost as satisfying was the expression on Georgina’s face as she turned and left them to it, having been totally ignored by Michael the moment he’d seen her.

  And having had to witness him kissing Jessie like he hadn’t seen her for months, instead of a few hours.

  ‘You’ve been here all along?’ His expression, as his eyes skimmed over her face and his hands ran up and down her arms, held a mixture of incredulity and joy. ‘But I don’t understand.’

  ‘I realised when I got home that there was nothing stopping me coming to the awards. The football match was over.’ She touched her necklace. ‘And I had something to wear.’ She leant into him. ‘Twice you’ve flown to see me, to be there for me even though it was only for a few hours. I wanted to do the same for you.’

  He looked like he still didn’t believe she was there. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have saved you a seat. God.’ His face fell. ‘All that time I was with Georgina when I could have been with you.’

  And though she’d felt that loss too – thank you bloody Georgina – Jessie wasn’t going to let it ruin the twelve hours they had left. ‘You’re here with me now,’ she told him softly. ‘And I plan on making the most of it.’

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Four weeks later

  Michael was never going to admit it, but he was pathetically grateful to see Robert’s ugly mug as he got off the plane in Chicago.

  ‘Good of you to finally turn up,’ he said instead as they walked towards the car Robert had insisted on hiring because he hated anyone else driving him.

  ‘I’m your manager, not your carer,’ his friend remarked mildly, clicking open the black Chrysler with his key fob. ‘Besides, you’ve had Georgina to look after you.’

  He felt the traitorous blush sting his cheeks and quickly ducked into the passenger seat, hoping to God Robert hadn’t noticed.

  ‘How is the glamorous Georgina?’ Robert smirked as he edged out of the car park space. ‘Is she taking care of your every need?’

  His emphasis on the word every wasn’t missed by Michael. ‘She’s fine,’ he replied shortly. ‘Looking forward to her break. She’s going to join us in New York.’

  ‘Define fine for me, because I’m having trouble connecting the blush on your cheeks with your curt replies. And the fact that I thought you were madly in love with the delightful Jessie.’

  ‘I am.’ Damn the man and his ability to see too much. ‘Look, Georgina wanted to do some sightseeing while we were in the States. And now seemed a good time to do it.’

  Robert quirked a brow. ‘Because?’

  ‘Because we… she… damn it. Because she got drunk last night and tried to kiss me.’ He left out the part where she’d brazenly started undressing in front of him when he’d seen her safely back to her hotel room. And then tried to undo his trousers.

  The sting was back in his cheeks again. Not helped by Robert’s burst of laughter. ‘Oh man, I wish I’d been a fly on the wall. By the look of your face I’d say it was a bit more than a kiss she tried with you.’

  Michael kept his mouth shut. Partly because it wasn’t fair on Georgina, who’d surely only done it because a mixture of fatigue, relief that the European part of the tour was over, and alcohol had messed with her brain. And partly because he didn’t want to give Robert any further ammunition to tease him with.

  ‘Did you take her up on her offer?’

  His head spun round just in time to see Robert’s mischievous grin. ‘Of course I bloody didn’t.’

  ‘Because you’re in love with Jessie.’

  He exhaled heavily. ‘Yes.’

  Robert manoeuvred onto the busy highway. ‘Is she coming to New York?’

  ‘I’ve booked her a flight so yes, I think so.’

  ‘You don’t sound certain.’

  Truth was, he wouldn’t believe she was coming to New York until he saw her walk off the flight. He knew it was a tough one for her, but now he was in the States he didn’t have more than a day’s break between travel and performances. He couldn’t come to her, and if she didn’t come to him it would be months before they saw each other again.

  ‘Talk to me, Michael. Not much point in me being here if you don’t.’

  And that’s why Robert was his best friend. He let Michael internalise his thoughts, stew away quietly, but only for so long. Robert knew exactly when to push. Basically, he knew when Michael needed him. ‘Each time we’ve discussed New York, Jessie has seemed hesitant. I want to believe it’s because it means an extra day away from the boys, but I’m just not sure. When I’m not with her I have this…’ He trailed off, trying to find the words. ‘This ache; a pain in my chest that won’t go away no matter how many indigestion remedies I take.’

  Robert snorted. ‘Please don’t tell me you’ve tried to get rid of heartache with Rennies?’

  Michael flushed again. ‘I might have.’ How was he supposed to know it was heartache? It was a long time since he’d been in love. Not since Paula. ‘Look, all I’m trying to say is that if I could, I’d see her tomorrow. Hell, I’d go right back to the airport now and happily squash myself into a metal tube for another ten hours knowing she’d be at the other end.’

  ‘Flying first class is hardly squashing yourself,’ Robert interrupted dryly.

  ‘Jeeze, Robert, lay off. I’m baring my soul here. I’d wedge myself into a jump seat if it meant I could be with her tonight. I just don’t get the sense she misses me in the same way. Instead of looking forward to New York, I can tell she’s dreading being away from the boys for three days.’

  ‘That’s because she’s a mum.’ Robert sighed. ‘Mere males will never understand a mother’s all-consuming love for her child. Hopefully we’ll get to experience the bond between father and child, but that between a mother and her child? You have to respect it, appreciate it. Be in awe of it. You’ll never be able to compete with it.’

  ‘I know.’ And he did. He’d meant what he said to Jack. He knew her boys were the most important thing in her world. Accepted and admired that, too.

  It didn’t diminish the hurt he felt when she always put them first.

  ‘Then stop moping about lik
e a kid who’s lost his teddy bear. So, you’re missing her. At least you have someone to miss, right? It’s a bloody sight better than being the lonely bastard you were before you met her.’

  Michael acknowledged Robert’s words with a nod of agreement, though sometimes he wondered if having nobody wasn’t actually easier.

  At least then he’d been content. There’d been no raging passion, no wild elation of the like he experienced at seeing Jessie again after a stint apart. No deep-seated happiness either, just knowing she was sleeping/eating/walking by his side.

  But equally there’d been none of this miserable angst. This dread she didn’t feel the same way he did. This deep-seated ache that only left when she appeared.

  Guiltily Jessie turned on the television and pressed play on the most viewed item on the planner. A concert from Michael’s last performance at the Albert Hall. It had been over a week since she’d seen him and she needed this dose. She couldn’t smell him, taste him or touch him but at least she could watch him. And listen to him.

  Funny how her life now seemed greyer and duller without him.

  As his tall figure came into view, dwarfed by the huge stage and surrounded by five thousand people hanging on his every note, she recalled her own nerve jangling experience in front of an audience. How did he do it, week after week?

  She tried to lose herself in the music, in the beautiful rich tone of his voice, but for once it didn’t lift her.

  God, she missed him.

  ‘OMG, Mum, how many times have you watched that?’ Luke burst into the room, threw himself onto the sofa and grabbed the remote.