How To Psychoanalyze Someone

by Scarlett Kennedy

  Why is this important?

  ● This important because it shows they're in denial about.

  ● What they're trying so desperately trying to cover up.

  ● They may feel shame about it - but want to potentially explore.

  ● Society has made them feel shame about feeling and/or thinking this way.

  ● For example: An overly sadistic person may seem overly nice because they're trying to cover up their sadistic views. (I'm guilty of this.)

  Example 1:

  One guy that I had known, we'll call him Peter. He continued disclosing "I'm not trying to control you.” - but he was. The reason being no person isn't going to continuously say that, unless they are that way. He was unconsciously trying to cover up his tracks. In essence, who are you trying to convince, you or me?

  Example 2:

  One of my friends always expressed "I'm NOT codependent" on anyone. She may not have been codependent, but it was her mind's way of aspiring to forfend herself from genuinely becoming that way. It showed in her comportment every time she needed avail, or got proximate to someone, she'd become defensive and reluct any avail or any intimacy with anyone. Because she had the belief she wouldn't be independent anymore. She'd have to be "codependent."

  Now, we have two reasons, for why people are endeavoring to convince us what they're NOT:

  1) This is their authentic nature, but their subconscious mind doesn't want to welcome it. Consequently, their minds handle it by perpetually telling other people what they aren’t.

  2) Their subconscious mind doesn't want them to be this way, and is trying to prevent (what they're not) from becoming the truth.

  How to take advantage of this:

  You have to attest if they're expressing x,y,z because they are that way, or they're undertaking not to become this way. You can decipher this, by canvassing their actions - especially what they're resistant to.

  Example:

  Let's use Peter as an example as someone who is this way and trying to cover it up. I kenned he was endeavoring to control me, because every time I told him I would go out, he would ask me "Who are you going out with?" "Why are you guys going out?"

  "What are you guys going to do?" He would dissimulate it as "Well, I just want to know. I hope you have fun!"

  Genuinely, once I connected the dots - he was controlling. What gave it away was, he always had to ken if I was going out with a female or male.

  One day, I was going out to meet with a guy and he went abaft my back to a mutual friend,

  verbalizing "why is she always going out with different guys?" Affirmative, he's jealous. Yes, he's controlling. The more weird, crazy out of control things, the more he wanted and tried to control me. Hysterical thing was, he was espoused. We weren't even dating either. We were coworkers. This is an example of someone who is what they claim they're not.

  If they are trying not to be this way:

  Your target will commence slipping, then they'll become conscious of their behaviour - and snap out of it. Followed by extreme demeanors that will overcompensate for their sides they are trepidacious of, and do not want to become.

  Example:

  An altruistic guy who endeavors to suppress his naughtiness, may react positively to something deplorable/naughty, then retort back to his spineless side. In high school there was Juan. He was incredibly nice, and saccharine. We went to the mall, and I provided explicit details about when I made out with my friend Michelle. He was getting a erection, and he kept persisting for more information, then immediately returned to his altruistic persona - once he realized how he was exposing himself. Leaks of his sexuality were emerging, however he covered up his boner, and sexuality with his backpack and shame was what gave it away.

  What do with this information:

  Sanction these repressed/and/or suppressed sides to gradually emerge. It genuinely wants to materialize. Maybe they have a sadistic streak. Maybe they are trying to be more masculine by covering up that they have the desire to become much more feminine. Instigate it a minute. Converse about certain topics around it.

  For example: if he or she is controlling, discuss doing stuff that they can't control. If a guy is wanting to be more feminine, and postulating you're female - just be more feminine, and this'll sanction him or her to live through you.

  There may be some resistance. Resistance is the best thing, because their desire is growing much more vigorous. Your job is to break down that resistance. Once you discern an abundance of resistance, you can pull back, then instigate. Rinse and reiterate.

  The Codependent Triangle

  Codependent relationships are depicted in the media as the ultimate relationship goal. Relationships are comprised of intense passion. Often times this passion appears to be dangerous. The truth is, the readers of this book and their victims have a codependent streak - which fall into three types: the rescuer, victim, or prosecutor. Toxic loves are often romanticized; relationships like Bonnie and Clyde. This chapter will discuss how to deal with the three types on the codependent triangle, and how to utilize it to your advantage.

  What is it?

  It is a triangle in the psychology community that shows destructive behaviors and roles in conflicting interactions/arguments.

  Why is it important?

  Knowing which destructive role you and your target play, can assist how you interact in an argument and the relationship, overall. You can prepare yourself for how the other person may react. Discovering where they fit on the codependent triangle, can make your victim much more dependent on you.

  Rescuer:

  The rescuer is always trying to save someone. There are two types of rescuers: the ones who are situational: they save you from awful situations. The second type is the moral rescuer: they try to transform you into a good person. (See: the rescuer, in target section of “How to Make Someone Obsessed with You):

  How you can tell:

  (See: the rescuer, in target section of “How to Make Someone Obsessed with You):

  "Let me help."

  "We should."

  "You should."

  "I'm a good person."

  “Look at all I do for you.”

  How to deal:

  Tell them you don't need their services right now, and when you do, you'll ask.

  When you want to capitalize on the rescuer type - make them rescue you. Before you do, you must understand if they are the situational or moral rescuer. Once you do, you can act accordingly.

  Victim:

  Someone with a victim mentality believes that they are powerless, helpless, and hopeless to life’s circumstances. Some victims do this to get attention or hope to be rescued.

  How you can tell:

  ● They're always talking about the people that are wronging them.

  ● The universe is mocking them.

  ● Poor me.

  ● They're constantly feeling sorry for themselves.

  ● The worst things always happen to them.

  ● Talking about their sob stories.

  ● "I'm helpless."

  How to deal:

  Say no. Have limits. Verbalize your boundaries. Then prepare yourself for a guilt trip. Try to discuss solutions instead. Once they notice that you are independent rather than codependent, they'll depend on you because this will satisfy the lack they have which is independence.

  If you want to take advantage of this, place them into a situation where they can feel sorry for themselves, and you’re able to give them the attention and sympathy they require for fuel.

  Persecutors:

  They can't accept responsibility. Putting the blame onto anyone or anything they can, but themselves.

  How you can tell:

  "It's all your fault."

  "It's because of this , because of that.”

  "I'm right, you're wrong."

  "Are you crazy?"

  How to deal:

  Just sit there and listen. Persecutors receive their fuel from your respon
ses. They expect, and want a response from you. If you don't feed into their persecutions, it'll anger them much more. However, they can't say anymore, if they don't have anymore fuel. (Your response).

  Taking advantage of this could either mean you do not give into any of their crap, or give them something to complain or start a fight. Persecutors are most likely to fit into the drama queen victim type. Fulfill their need for drama.

  Chapter Six

  Emotions

  I consider most of my readers as marketers. They carry similar mindsets; manipulating, using people's own psychology against them, distorting facts to control the consumer. Our emotions have the ability to cloud our judgement, and twist our thoughts into ones that will appeal or amplify the emotion. People usually associate an emotional person as someone who cries often. In fact, being emotional relates to all emotions. The specific definition of emotional just relates to an intense feeling. What human beings are seeking could be an intense feeling of security, vanity, adventure, feeling horny. Given this, there are certain emotions the greatest seducers and seductresses play with: anxiety, uncertainty, lust, curiosity, hope. When we become dependent on something or someone, one of the reasons is because they provide an emotion(s) no other can fulfill. When pleasant emotions are triggered and amplified, we feel alive. Be the only person they can rely on to feel alive.

  Anxious Much?

  Heightening your victim's anxiety creates dependence. The first step is

  discovering how they behave when they become anxious. That will lead to you

  comprehending what makes them anxious, unless they are always anxious. A person who is invariably anxious is easier to control, and influence.

  Why is this important?

  As I’ve mentioned earlier, inducing anxiety within your target will create

  dependence. Anxiety specifically will create dependence. The reason being:

  codependent relationships arise out of fear, and anxiety - not love. (A common misconception.) Society conditioned us to believe fear, and anxiety is what the meaning of love is. In high school my classmates and I had to recite a play. Many of you know it: Romeo and Juliet. Numerous people claim Romeo’s undying love for Juliet was

  romantic, and authentic love. Their relationship was not true love. The relationship was desperate and codependent. You may see other people both in your life and onscreen - in codependent relationships. The people are attached by the hip. The couple that are inseparable - even when space is vital.

  What do you see? Do you see confidence and security? Or do you see desperation, a lack of personal power and control? A wild need to tighten their clench due to the fear of abandonment? I guarantee you see the latter. The precise reason you must instigate anxiety within your target.

  Why do people become anxious?

  Many people disregard their emotions. What these people don’t understand is the reason we have emotions. Our “negative” emotions send us messages something is not sound. Acknowledging why we experience distinct emotions assists you in

  entrancing your target further. Anxiety’s message is uncertainty. In the beginning times, we experienced anxiety and fear as an indicator of uncertainty. For our ancestors, uncertainty meant pain. Although we live in times where we don’t need to worry precisely about physical danger (too much), we have different worries: emotional triggers. Avoiding pain is what motivates us.

  Here are a few indicators of anxiety:

  ● Excessive laughter.

  ● Bathing in their own sweat.

  ● Refraining from eye contact.

  ● Scattered eyes: looking everywhere.

  ● Disoriented focus.

  How to discover what makes people anxious?

  Bring up a topic that may serve as controversial, or a potential weakness. (See the section about insecurities.) Observe what topics invoke anxious behaviours. Then subtly talk about/around the subject.

  Here's an example:

  A girl who we'll call; Cherry lips. She displayed her anxiety through laughter.

  She had the "me too syndrome" that was quite obvious. I stated an opinion. Her micro facial expressions expressed she disagreed. Her words were the opposite.

  I tested the waters here. I asked her if she was seeing anyone. She told me no.

  (I thought she may say yes). Anyway, I dismissed her. As soon as I indirectly dismissed her - she began laughing. (A symptom of her extreme anxiety).

  I thought this was cute and wanted to see how far it could go. Since I had

  discovered she has the "me too syndrome" I first voiced my controversial opinion and observed how she reacted. My opinion was that if you were to go with anyone,

  they'd need to have money and a car. Women "like us" can't ruin our shoes.

  She looked down - paused - laughed and hesitantly agreed. See - the ingredient to this would be increasing their anxiety. This is what differs between a person in a complacent relationship versus emotions running deep and wild. Stirring up these emotions create codependency.

  What to do with this information:

  Notice their "nervous" behaviors and pull it out of them. You'll begin to see what strikes their anxiety cords and you can play around with it.

  Discover Their Fears

  Maximizing pleasure and avoiding fear are how our personalities are born. Fear can haunt you for the rest of your life. As human beings - it is only natural to experience fear. It is one of our basic emotions. Our ancestors used fear for their survival, for example, fear of animals tearing them apart. Times have advanced, thus no need to worry about a threat towards our basic needs.

  Why is this important?

  The reason we still have fear? Fear protects us. Protection is not limited to our physical survival - but our emotional survival as well.

  How to discover this?

  Fears can range from spiders, to fingernails, to abandonment, to cheating. There are a few ways to discern what someone fears. It appears there are two types of fear. Fears like the “superficial” ones such as spiders. Deep rooted fears such as the fear of abandonment, and rejection are the second category of fear. Superficial fears go deeper than the surface and represent our deeper rooted fears. A fear of rats could potentially represent a fear of invasion or the lack of privacy in one’s home. Watch for what they have an excessive amount of resistance to. An example of this would be someone who shows lots of resistance to someone who is considered wild. Reasons vary as to why someone would show an excessive amount of resistance to someone who is wild. Does this person remind them of someone who crushed their heart? Reminds them of their parents who abandoned them? Perhaps they desire someone to show dedication and commitment, and a wild person reminds them they may not get that. Another thing to observe in a person is listen to the tone in their voice, do they avoid a specific topic? Does this topic have any kind of significance in their lives, specifically a negative one? Lastly, the most obvious one would be listen to what they say they are afraid of.

  Example

  There was a woman we will call Stephanie. From my analysis, I learned she had a fear of rejection as well as a fear of displeasing people. Using the fear then relief technique, I implied the idea that I may not want to be her friend anymore. There were several ways to go about this: the fastest way to do this is not speak to her. Truthfully I did not intentionally ignore Stephanie. My family has an annual traditional road trip. Unfortunately, texting outside my province was not included in my phone plan. Therefore, the only way to get a hold of me was via Whatsapp - which she did not have. She did have email but none of us had thought to use it. When I was back in town, my phone was blown up with an abundance of texts from Stephanie. “Are you okay - I haven't heard from you?”, “Are you mad at me?”. Texts along those lines in that order. The relief part comes in when I replied “Sorry Steph* I forgot to tell you I was away!" She quickly replies “You should've told me! I was worried you were pissed off at me!" This validates my suspicions about her psyche, thus utilizing these
techniques that induce fear, followed by relief.

  How to use this information?

  There are two ways to go about this information. Given this, you can use the fear followed by relief, or use pure fear to manipulate your target - or a mixture of both. Which techniques you use depend on your target.

  Pure fear works on people who are the most secure. Examples include: people who feel existential boredom, or are very secure, someone who is too arrogant for their own good, weak minded, and someone who had to fight for what they wanted growing up.

  Fear followed by relief work on people who have experienced traumatic experiences. Examples include thugs, soldiers, people growing up in unsafe homes. These types are seeking security. Provide security, but first provoke what they are familiar with - fear.