You Only Love Twice

by Lori Wilde

  Let ’em get out of hand, Angelina said. It’s time you took a risk or two in life.

  But it was too foolhardy. Her attraction to him couldn’t lead anywhere.

  Why does it have to lead anywhere but the bedroom? Angelina asked. Besides, I thought you didn’t believe in love.

  That comment made Marlie think of her mother. A deep sadness invaded her soul. She wanted to call Penelope on the phone and bubble enthusiastically about Joel. She wanted to giggle and share confidences. She wanted to ask her mother for advice. Ask her how to flirt. She and Penelope were close. Like sisters. Like friends. They had no family beyond each other. But she could not call her mother. Mom was missing. Her home was gone.

  Was Mom dead?

  No. She refused to think it. Refused to believe it.

  But if she wasn’t dead, where was she?

  Marlie pressed her fingertips against her forehead, pushing against the thoughts. She couldn’t let herself travel down this road. If she did, she’d come mentally unglued. She had to take it one step at a time. There was nothing she could do right this minute to find her mom, but she could seek comfort from the only other person she trusted.

  Her best friend.

  She wrapped a towel around her, fished the cell phone from her purse, and perched on the bathroom counter. Back resting against the wall, feet hanging over the sink, she crossed her legs and punched in Cosmo’s number.

  “Hello?”

  She was surprised to hear he sounded wide awake. Cosmo’s voice instantly lifted her spirits. She could kick herself for staying mad at him for so long. “Cos?”

  “Marlie?” He sounded genuinely happy to hear from her. “Is that you?”

  She nodded, too overcome by emotion to speak. Until this moment she hadn’t realized exactly how much she missed her friend.

  “Mar? You still there?”

  “Uh-huh,” she managed.

  “Are you all right?”

  “No.”

  “Talk to me.”

  And just like that the awkwardness between them vanished. As quickly and quietly as she could, Marlie told him about the assassin on her doorstep and what had happened to her mother.

  “What have you gotten yourself into?”

  “I don’t know, Cosmo.”

  “One of your conspiracy theories pegged the truth and someone is trying to shut you up. We knew it was bound to happen.”

  “But I don’t know anything,” she wailed.

  “Obviously you do, you just don’t realize the importance of your knowledge.”

  “I’m really scared.”

  “Are you by yourself?”

  Marlie hesitated. Should she tell him about Joel? But she had no secrets from Cosmo. “No, my neighbor’s with me.”

  “Mrs. Whittaker is with you?”

  “No, no. Someone new moved into the vacant house on the other side. An ex-Navy SEAL. He gave me a ride over to Mom’s and he was there when the would-be killer torched her house.”

  “Can you trust him?”

  Marlie bit down on her bottom lip. “I think so.”

  “Just be very careful.”

  “I am.”

  “What can I do to help?”

  “It’s already been a huge help talking to you again. I’m sorry we ever fought.”

  “Me too.”

  “Listen, there is something you can do for me.”

  “Say the word. You need me to get on a plane and come down there?”

  “No. I don’t want you to do anything that would jeopardize your new job.” She told him then about the package she’d sent him containing the valve stems and pieces of twig. “Could you get it checked for fingerprints?”

  “I’ll pull some strings,” he said.

  “You promise you won’t get in trouble?”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “Thank you.”

  A fresh warmth of security washed over her. She was safe for now and she had friends. With Joel’s and Cosmo’s help she would find her mother and get out of this situation.

  Marlie heard a woman’s voice in the background saying, “Cosmo, come back to bed.”

  Surprised, Marlie brought her hand to her mouth. “You’re not alone.”

  “It’s okay,” he said to her, and then she heard him muffle the phone as he murmured something to the other woman.

  “You sly dog, you’ve got a girlfriend,” Marlie said.

  “Maybe, kinda, sorta.”

  She could hear the smile in his voice, and his smile made her smile. “Meaning?”

  “Still too new.”

  “But you really like her.”

  “Yeah,” he said, and his voice was so husky Marlie wondered if what he felt for his companion was a lot more than like.

  “This is wonderful news.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Are you kidding? You deserve all the happiness in the world, my friend.”

  “Thanks,” he said.

  “Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll let you get back to what you were doing. Have fun.”

  “I’ll check the morning mail for your package.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Call me immediately if you need anything.”

  “Won’t your girlfriend be jealous?”

  “She’ll understand.”

  “She sounds like a keeper to me.”

  Cosmo laughed. “’Night, Mar.”

  “’Night, Cos.”

  Still grinning, Marlie hopped off the counter and then rummaged in the cabinet until she found hotel-sized bottles of shampoo and small bars of guest soap. Desperate to scrub herself clean and erase the stench of danger from her body, she climbed into the shower and turned the faucets to as hot as she could stand it. She scoured until the water ran cold and her skin turned as tingly pink as the color Joel said she should wear.

  After she got out and dried herself off, she twisted her hair up in one oversized towel and wrapped her body in another. She tiptoed out of the bathroom and padded back down the hall to the laundry room, switching their clothes from the washer to the dryer.

  She edged through the bedroom on her return to the bathroom with the intention of blow-drying her hair when she saw that Joel was very much awake.

  He ripped off her towel with his eyes. Lying cocked back on the bed like some nonchalant jock that had just rocketed his team to the state title, wearing his bandaged wound as a badge of honor.

  His shoulders were so broad he should have been fined for looking so damned potent, and he sent up at least a half-dozen red flags on her don’t-you-dare-get-close-to-this-one radar.

  “Where you goin’, Ladybug?”

  She gestured toward the bathroom. “Dry my hair.”

  “Bring the dryer in here; I’ll do it for you.”

  “You need to rest. Sleep.”

  “To hell with that,” he said. “You helped me. Now I help you. Bring the hair dryer in here, or I’ll go into the bathroom with you.”

  Knowing that he meant it, she retrieved the blow-dryer and a comb, brought the hair-care items to the bed, and crouched cautiously in her towel to plug it into the socket beside the lamp.

  “Sit.” He spread his legs and patted the duvet directly in front of his crotch.

  She wasn’t sure about this. Here she was in only a towel, and he was wearing nothing more than a tight pair of jeans.

  “Sit.”

  She carefully crawled up in the bed beside him, making sure the towel was wrapped securely around her body. He removed the towel from around her head, and her hair dropped to her shoulders in thick, damp strands.

  He ran the comb through her hair with a surprisingly gentle touch. “You have beautiful shoulders.”

  His breath was warm on the nape of her neck. She felt awkward and weird. “Really?”

  “That’s not the only thing that’s gorgeous.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Come on. I mean, whoa, you’ve got a body that won’t quit.”


  She tentatively touched the curvy flesh of her waist. “You don’t think I’m too fat?”

  Joel snorted. “Good God, woman. Are you kidding me?”

  “My body turns you on?”

  Growling, Joel took her by the shoulder and turned her around to face him. He reached for her hand and guided it to his zipper. She’d never known a man could get so hard. “What do you think?”

  Marlie jerked her hand back.

  She felt a flush stain her cheeks, but she was surprised to realize it wasn’t a flush of embarrassment, but one of pride. She, with her overly generous body, did this to a man like Joel.

  “You’ve got a figure just built to cushion the weight of a man. Stop hiding it under baggy clothes. You’ve got it. Flaunt it.”

  “Right now I’m wearing just a towel.”

  “Don’t think I hadn’t noticed.”

  “I’ve noticed you too,” she said bravely.

  “Like what you see?”

  She lowered her lashes. “You have some nice bits.”

  His chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. “Nice? That’s not exactly what I was shooting for.”

  “Well, I’m certainly not going to swell your head.”

  “Too late for that.” His grin broadened.

  Okay, things were officially getting too intense. Marlie scooted away from him, headed toward the edge of the bed.

  He crooked a finger at her. “Don’t run away, woman.”

  Woman.

  He said that word in such a sexy way it sent goose bumps dancing over her arms. Stop it, she admonished herself.

  Oh, let loose and have some fun for once, Angelina interrupted.

  But she didn’t have a chance to make a move.

  Boldly, unapologetically, Joel pulled her back onto the bed, gathering her against his chest, ignoring any pain the motion might have caused him.

  When she’d kissed him before it had been with Angelina’s persona, not her own, but this time it was Marlie all the way.

  His kisses washed over her like a hurricane sweeping the island. Nibbling, licking, tasting her. His tongue was dizzyingly accomplished. His mouth was a miracle. He was a force of nature, this one. You could either run or cling for dear life.

  It went against every instinct she had, but in that moment, Marlie chose to cling.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her jaw relax. Storm troopers had nothing on Joel. He staked his claim. Bold and brash. Navy SEAL all the way.

  But underneath all the bravado, underneath all the machismo, take-command audacity, Marlie sensed something else. Something he didn’t want her to know.

  He was covering up. Trying to hide that scared, emotionally dependent little child he’d once been.

  Understanding came that easily for her. She did not know why, but he did not fool her one bit. No matter how demanding his kisses were, Marlie knew the truth. No matter how tough he acted, she recognized it was all a ruse. No matter what he said, she realized what he really meant.

  I’m wearin’ my heart on my sleeve here, so don’t slam-dunk me.

  He didn’t scare her. Not in the least. Which was weird, since most everything frightened Marlie.

  Had Angelina secretly taken over her body again?

  But no, she was looking up at Joel with her own eyes, not detached and from a distance the way she did when Angelina was living through her. She could smell his rustic scent, could feel the burn of his body heat. She loved the novelty of him. His body was startling and new. Her brain appraised him, filed away knowledge with giddy glee.

  And as he kissed the pulse at her throat, she felt new to herself as well. His fingers caressed the full swell of her breast beneath the terry-cloth material of the towel. Suddenly her extra curves weren’t something to bemoan, but a plush softness to be revered. So what if she wasn’t as thin as a tree branch? Joel liked her anyway.

  Marlie liked his body, liked what it was doing to hers. She liked how she fit just snug in the corner of his elbow. How his unique scent teased her with recognition on a deeply primal level. She thought of something her mother once said.

  I knew your father was the One the minute I smelled him.

  At the time she’d thought that was a very odd thing to say, but now she understood. No smell on earth had ever attracted her the way that Joel’s scent did.

  The thought unraveled her.

  Marlie hesitated. Just because he smelled good didn’t mean he was her one and only. Even if he was, she didn’t want a one and only. There was too much pain involved in loving someone so deeply. She didn’t have the courage or stamina for that.

  She was going to pull away. Right this minute.

  Except Angelina wouldn’t let her. No go, sister. I’m enjoying this too much.

  Until now, Marlie hadn’t realized how much she was enjoying this too. In spite of everything—the danger, the uncertainty, the fear—on another level, she thrilled to be living the adventures she’d spent years dreaming up for her cartoon alter ego.

  She was no longer the pudgy little girl on the playground who talked to herself. Or later, the somber girl who had no friends because her father had been accused of being a traitor to his own country. She was strong and capable; she was seizing life by the throat and wringing out every ounce of experience she could.

  Joel inched her towel down and she didn’t resist. He’d shifted their bodies around, and now she was lying on her back looking up at him.

  How could he be so ready to make love after having just been grazed by a bullet? His virility both excited and terrified her. She wasn’t woman enough for a man like him.

  Well, Angelina whispered, you’ve always got me as pinch hitter in case you flake.

  As kinky as it sounded, there was that.

  “You’re so sexy,” Joel murmured and lightly traced his tongue over her lips. It was so deliciously ticklish, she wriggled into the mattress and just kept gazing up into his eyes, caught in the vortex of his electromagnetic field.

  Marlie hissed in her pleasure as he deepened their blistering kiss. She entwined her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as her head buzzed dizzily.

  What would it be like to make love to such a powerful marauder? To skim her palms over his naked buttocks, knead those smooth, taut muscles that rippled when he moved.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this,” she said. “Danger, adventure, and the thrill of the chase often cause people to mistake excitement for something more than it is.”

  “Right,” he murmured, gently flicking his thumb over the tight bud of her nipple.

  “We should stop.”

  “Uh-huh.” But he kept right on going.

  It felt so good. Too good. Something this good had to be bad.

  Marlie struggled to sit up, to make sense of her feelings. She felt like a wishbone, tugged in two equally powerful opposing directions at once. Her doubts jerked her from the moment. Prevented her from finding pleasure in the here and now.

  But maybe, her doubts were also stopping her from making a fatal mistake.

  In the end, her qualms won. She splayed her palm against Joel’s chest and pushed him back.

  “No,” she said. “No more.”

  She sat up, fumbling to close her towel. She tossed her head and glanced away from Joel, unable to look him in the eyes.

  A shadow passed in front of the window, breaking the shaft of moonlight that fell through the open curtain. She raised her eyes to the window, and that’s when she saw a man’s face pressed against the pane.

  Marlie screamed.

  In an instant, Joel was on his feet, scrambling for his gun, the pain making shredded wheat out of his nerve endings. But rather than slowing him down, the pain was a catalyst, propelling him into battle.

  He was a warrior, and protecting Marlie was his sole purpose.

  She stood transfixed, finger pointing at the curtainless window. Joel grabbed her by the shoulders, shocked to find her skin damn near hypothermic.

  “What
is it?”

  “A face in the window. A man.”

  “Did you get a good look at him? Was it the same guy who tried to kill you?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “At least I don’t think so. He looked older, unkempt.”

  Joel clamped down on his tongue and felt the empty deadness of complete mental control settle over him. If he was honest, he would admit that it scared the living piss out of him, this ability to go stone-cold, closing down all emotions. The talent had served him well as a SEAL; not so much as a husband or a lover. For the first time ever, he wanted to lose the ability to detach. He was suddenly jealous of all those people who could let their emotions just sweep out of them. Messy, irrational, reckless. The only emotion he felt truly comfortable expressing was anger.

  How fucking sad was that?

  “Come on.” He grabbed her by the wrist, dragged her down the hallway to the bathroom. “Get in there and lock the door. Don’t open it for anyone but me. Got it?”

  She nodded.

  “Know how to use a gun?”

  “I fired one once when I was doing research for a comic book.”

  “Good enough.” He leaned down, clenching his jaw against the pain, hiked up the leg of his jeans, and plucked out the small-caliber handgun he kept secreted in an ankle holster and handed it to her. “If anyone comes after you, shoot them. Can you do it?”

  “Yes.”

  Her eyes glistened with terror, but to her credit she took the gun. Joel had to steel his heart to keep from tucking her under his arm and taking her with him. She’d be safer here than out in the darkness of the unknown.

  Joel closed the bathroom door and waited until he heard the lock click into place. Now, to find the bastard who’d been spying on them.

  Clutching his gun in a two-fisted stance, he ignored the pain in his battered body, shouldered his way out the back door, and then slipped around the side of the house, ready for trouble.

  But he found only shadows.

  Joel cocked his head, zooming in, straining to hear what was missing. The air was too quiet, too still. Where were the normal sounds? The crickets and the frogs, the whisper of wind rushing over the sand dunes. Even the steady, reliable crashing of the ocean waves rhythmically caressing the shore seemed invisible.