At fifty strokes, he stopped again. I continued to keep a tight grip on the cross.
“Not ready to let go? Amazing. Beautiful.” His whispers sent rapture singing through my flesh.
I relaxed into the warmth of his hand soothing the sting in my cheeks. Heat upon heat. He leaned over and trailed his lips down the side of my neck. His breath caressed my skin.
“Remember, you can let go anytime you’re ready. Just press the release, turn around, and open yourself to me.”
Those few words made me realize being a submissive wasn’t so much about satisfying someone’s demands. It was giving permission for them to satisfy yours.
My clit filled to bursting. I could have let go at any moment, but I didn’t want to stop. Fifty lashes in, and I knew I could take more, needed more, much more. If it was painful, I didn’t know it. Maybe it was the flogger. Maybe it wasn’t intended to hurt. Maybe I was just some kind of perv. All of that I could figure out later. For now, I had but one thought. I was crawling out of my skin with want, with need.
“Clit.”
It didn’t seem possible, but he leaned in even closer. “What was that you said?”
“I said clit.” Good grief, I practically bellowed it. And now I wanted him to take care of me. Yes, I was turning into a selfish wanton woman. Right now, all I wanted to do was spread my legs and have him quench this thirst that had built for the past twenty odd years. Oh, my God, I’m a tramp. I didn’t know whether to banish or celebrate the thought. Something else to think about later.
And thank God, he started to play with my clit, my painfully engorged clit. There, I said it— Well, at least I thought it. The pressure he applied only served to build the yearning until my mind screamed for release. The kind that made glass shatter.
“What do you want me to do, Logan?”
My first thought shocked me. Don’t stop. I couldn’t say it. What was he turning me into?
“I want you to feel me, feel my clit.” Another exquisite pinch.
“Pardon? I can’t hear you.”
“I want you to feel my clit, sir.”
He slapped my ass a few times, stoking the simmering coals. I leaned in, inviting each stroke. I arched back, surging into the pain, reaching for the pleasure that followed the sting. The warmth of his soothing hand reminded me there were no wrongs here, only desire.
“I’m not sure you’ve learned your lesson. Tell me exactly what you’d like me to do to you.”
Why was he asking this of me? Didn’t he know how hard it was for me to talk like this? Of course, he knew. I sucked in a breath as he slid his finger back and forth across that bud ripe onto bursting. Oh please, please. I wanted to tell him so badly, but some force stopped the words from coming out.
“Logan, what do you want?” His breath tickled my neck. My vulva clenched. Hard. I moaned my frustration and strained against my restraints. He chuckled and drew a trail of my juices through the crack in my butt. He hesitated, just a second, before pressing on the pucker there. And I met the nature of my depravity. In equal parts, I wanted him to linger, just a little; press, just a little more. At the same time, I clenched in dread of any assault on this tenderest of parts. I wanted to feel it all.
Then I found the safe thing to say. “I want you to make me come… Sir.” I sagged against the cross, exhausted by the effort of actually saying the words.
And he pushed me even farther. “How?”
Shit. Jesus. Goddammit. Every cell in my body screamed yes, no, please, take me, stop, please, in unison. He tightened his grip on my clit again. He didn’t let me come. I was so excited my neurons fired rockets into the stratosphere. I panted so hard I didn’t know if I could speak.
How? How the hell could he ask me that? I wanted it all—his mouth, his fingers, his cock. His magnificent cock. I wanted to feel it stretch me, fill me. His mouth. I wanted him to pull my clit in through those delicious lips of his. I wanted him to suck me until I cried out. His fingers. While he sucked, he could thrust them to the hilt into me. Then he’d find that spot. He’d work that sensitive pad until I came.
He pinched again. I moaned again. His responding groan sent another shock wave rocketing through me. Oh, God. I was going to die. I. Was. Going. To. Die. He made me buck and heave. I had trouble containing the spasms that threatened to take over. I was that hot. Some tiny corner of my mind that still maintained cogent thought screamed, “Say something.”
“Suck me.” I panted with the effort of pushing those words out. He brushed my throbbing clit a few more times, then released me, swept me into his arms, and laid me on a raised bench of some sort. With a magician’s slight of hand, he restrained me once again. Leather stirrups held my legs wide, my arms high above my head.
“My God, you’re beautiful.” Daniel’s breath brushed against swollen lips, across the tip of the pulsing bud peeking through. He spread me wide with his thumbs, his breath stroking me, tormenting me. I wanted his mouth on me. I thrust my hips toward him until reaching the confines of my restraints. I almost lost my mind with frustration. I think I growled. A low growl exposing a primitive need.
“Oh yes, you are greedy.” The mixture of admiration and hunger in his voice unleashed another splash of moisture between my legs. He drew shapes with his tongue, moving me once again toward the edge of that cliff. I tried so hard to control my breathing, have some semblance of control, but I lost the battle. I parted my legs even more. He pulled my clit through full lips. I surged up into his mouth. His hands pushed on my thighs, holding me still. I lay there, rigid. Overwhelmed with sensation. He grabbed my burning ass, centering me.
“Slow. Relax. We have all the time in the world.” His lovely baritone soothed as the words whispered across my clit, more dream than reality. A dream that pulled me to him. Then he drew me ever so slowly into his mouth. The moist, warm heat ratcheting up the inferno simmering inside me. And he sucked me. I lay rigid, suspended. The surging pressure of volcanic lava built inside me. Pushing relentlessly to the precipice, threatening to overflow, seeking release. I breathed in deep gasps. The need for oxygen adding fuel to the inferno tearing through the walls that once defined who I was.
Keeping his mouth firmly attached to my bursting bud, he thrust fingers up my vagina, reaching up to caress the special soft spot. I was supercharged. Maybe too much so. He drove me to the peak. I more than teetered on the edge. He possessed me and enticed me to dive over. I thrust and tensed.
He pulled me in. Sucking, his fingers thrusting ever deeper. My breath stopped. The small of my back tightened. I lay suspended for a brief eternity. Then, my world exploded.
He continued his onslaught, one, two, three more times. Spasms ripped through me until the tumult overwhelmed me. I tried to push him from me to no avail. His fingers stayed deep within me as I convulsed around them.
I wondered who was making those raw, wrenching gasps until I realized it was me. I raked in deep gulps of air, riding the crests seizing control of my body. Daniel held me as the spasms rippled through me. He held me fast. He let me pant. He murmured, and I caught the odd word… “Beautiful.” “Amazing.” Then he stepped away.
I vaguely heard the tear of the foil. I rolled my head toward the sound, wanting to catch a glimpse of his splendid shaft in all its glory. A cock that soon would be buried in me. I shuddered with delight at the thought. Yes, please.
He stood looking at me, a slight smile caught the corners of his mouth, his hand wrapped firmly around his hardness. He freed my wrists and ankles, bent my legs, and positioned himself. Then he drove inside that deep well of darkness, and my body surged toward him. My cunt embraced his cock. I lay back, oblivious to anything but the feelings this man released from my body. At that moment, I would do anything he wanted, anything he asked. Because I wanted to. Because I needed to.
He started out slow and easy, intentionally extending the agony as another climax climbed toward the pinnacle. Aware of nothing but the need to meld with this man, I met him thrust for
precious thrust. He plunged that hard, long, thick cock deep inside me, searing the heat building in my G-spot. He grabbed my breast and held on, hammering home his desire for me. He grasped my clit with his free hand. I almost surged right off the bench. Nothing had prepared me for this level of intensity. He drove now, fast and furious, emptying himself into me. I imploded, losing touch with this world and catapulting into another reality.
Chapter 18
Daniel
I lay holding Logan close while cogent thought returned with the boys in my brain dueling, clashing swords over which emotions took precedence. On the one hand was the instinct to bolt, to run as far from this woman as I could as fast as possible. She awakened feelings long dormant, thoughts that should never see the light of day. I’d learned that lesson the hard way. Not a chance I was going to allow myself to be that vulnerable ever again. It was as if she possessed some magic with the power to push past my barriers and banish all rational thought.
On the other hand, a strange calm permeated my inner psyche. Certainly, a welcome expression that felt altogether right. But I couldn’t get over the fact that it was also unexpected and therefore a little unnerving. It wasn’t the result of any chemical derivative dictating such an outcome. But what then could be the cause? Then, I remembered—I’d had two nights in a row when I could just be myself, spontaneous and unrestricted. Maybe it had something to do with the absence of pretense and a mantle of honesty that was intrinsic to Logan’s makeup.
I gave my head a shake. Now was not the time to ruminate on such lofty matters. I was acting like a cad instead of fulfilling my responsibilities as a Dom. For the first time, the thought of aftercare sparked a frisson of desire…the desire to wholly embrace this woman, know every inch of her, inside and out. Nothing else seemed important. I was a man possessed.
Steeled with new resolve, I dropped a light kiss on her forehead and started to rise. She surprised me with the strength of her resistance as her arms and legs tightened around my back. My Logan was a lot stronger than she realized. My Logan. Yeah, right—more like Greg’s. I sighed and pushed back as her body relaxed. She murmured something I didn’t catch.
“You okay?” I consciously slowed my breathing and tried to ignore the moisture gathering in my palms.
The wonder and trust radiating from deep pools of ocean blue startled me as she peered into my eyes. The most beautiful smile lit her lips.
“I’ll probably sound like a brazen hussy for saying this, but that’s the most fun I’ve had in years.” She reached up and brushed the curls from my face.
I sagged against her, struggling to find words that would convey my gratitude for this moment…for her.
“Babe, we need to get some ointment on that beautiful ass of yours before it bruises.” I picked her up and carried her to the circular bed resting in the corner of the room. I retrieved the arnica ointment and soothed it into the deep rose tinge left by the flogger. With long, deep strokes, I ran my hand over her butt and thighs. She sighed, wriggled that beautiful ass, and moaned. My cock responded and stirred back to life. She rolled over and reached for me, exposing the splendor of her magnificent breasts and the soft round swell of her belly. My dick stood at full attention, belying my brain’s admonition I needed rest… We needed rest.
I pinned her arms and leaned down to kiss her. “You’re insatiable.”
She stiffened. “I’m sorry.” She jolted up, almost knocking me off the bed. “You’re right; we shouldn’t be doing this.
“Logan…”
She’d disappeared out of the room. Shit. I pulled on my pants and went after her.
I waited until the water stopped running and tapped lightly on the bathroom door. “Logan, I didn’t mean—”
She opened the door a crack, her towel-wrapped head and torso sandwiching a smile full of false cheer. “Do you need a pit stop before I take a shower?”
I wanted to scoop her in my arms and kiss away the disingenuous mask covering her face. I wanted to let her know I adored her sexual appetite; I craved it. But some impenetrable cloak of inscrutability covered her, and I had no idea how to pierce through.
What’s wrong? Talk to me, damn it. “No, that’s fine. I’ll use the one downstairs.”
The door closed. My stomach churned as memories of Justine’s pretenses seeped through my mind like the sting of a venomous jellyfish—small, deceptive, and dangerous. Goddammit, I was not going to go through this again.
I grabbed a quick shower and met Logan in the kitchen, determined to have it out with her. My heart dropped to my shoes when I saw she’d dressed in the clothes she’d arrived in. She looked spectacular, those pants outlining the curves of her ass perfectly…and she obviously was headed home. She gave me the same phony smile she’d had when I left her upstairs.
“Are you going somewhere?” I grimaced at the hard edge to my tone. She flinched and looked down at the cold drinks in her hand.
“I—I thought we could go for a walk. Sorry, bad idea.”
Relief flooded through me. My chance wasn’t gone after all. I went behind her and put my hands on her shoulders. She stiffened. Nothing less than you deserve, Daniel. I dropped a light kiss on her fragrant hair. How I loved that smell. Like peonies waving in the breeze on a bright spring day, light and hypnotic. I turned her and lifted her chin so I could look into her eyes. She looked right through me as if focused on a secret conversation coming to her from another realm.
“I’m sorry, I can be such an ass sometimes. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“That’s fine. No need to apologize. You didn’t hurt me.” Her tone was flat, and her eyes still held that faraway look.
Look at me, goddammit. “Can you at least tell me what I did wrong, so I don’t do it again?”
“It’s nothing…really. It’s my problem. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then, what is this about? You at least owe me an explanation. We did promise to be honest with each other.” I let go of her chin, grabbed a coffee, and sat at the table.
She dropped her chin to her chest and puffed out a breath. “Okay, you’re right.” She joined me at the table and sat with clasped hands, fingers interwoven so tightly I feared she’d break a bone.
I reached across and rested my hand on top of hers, gently massaging her wrist with my thumb. “Relax, Logan. I’m not the enemy. I won’t judge.”
She looked up at me, the tears on her lashes reflecting the pinpoints of light that shone like stars in her sapphire eyes.
“You can’t help but judge. That’s the problem. You already have.” She sniffed and rubbed the end of her nose.
I picked up the box of tissue on the end of the counter and brought it to the table. Logan grabbed one and blew her nose. Good grief, she even did that daintily. I waited for her to collect herself, trying my best to be patient.
“You think I’m a tramp.”
“No—”
“Let me finish, or I might never get this out. I know it shouldn’t matter, after all, we agreed just to be f—sex buddies. I know it shouldn’t matter what you think of me, but it does.” Logan grabbed another tissue and blew.
I had trouble not laughing. Not because I wasn’t taking her seriously, but because she looked so damned cute in her distress, and she couldn’t be more wrong. My problem wasn’t seeing her as a tramp; my problem was I was growing attached to her. Liking her just a little too much. It amazed me that the message she was getting ran so counter to my actual feelings. I needed to find out why. I enveloped her fisted hands in mine.
“Logan, look at me.”
She licked her lips and raised her eyes one micron at a time. I could almost feel her counting the hairs on my chin stubble. Every bit the uncooperative witness. Nothing I hadn’t dealt with before in spades. This particular witness required cajoling and nurturing, so I bade scary lawyer Daniel adieu for the time being. Finally, her eyes met mine. I smiled, hoping to exude every bit of support and empathy I could muster.
�
��Nothing could be farther from the truth. I think you’re the most beautiful, vibrant, and sensual woman I’ve ever met. I have nothing but admiration for you.” And adoration.
Now her eyes were glued to mine. A glimmer of something like hope shone through. She said nothing. I licked my lips.
“Can you tell me what made you think otherwise?”
She looked down at the table. I reached over and tipped her chin back up. “Please?”
She cleared her throat. “You called me insatiable.” Her eyes switched to the left.
What the fuck? At least she was telling the truth, no matter how ridiculous it might be.
“I would have thought most women would consider that a compliment. From my perspective, it’s high praise.”
Her gaze zipped back to mine. This time, there was more than a glimmer of delight blowing away the haze of sadness.
“What do you mean by ‘you would have thought’?”
Ah, so our Logan was just a tad on the jealous side. A sliver of delight wormed its way into my belly. My rational brain tried to warn me off, but I was having none of it. If there was jealousy, there was interest. If there was interest, there was hope.
“I mean, is this the first time you’ve called a woman insatiable?”
“Yes.”
A smile tugged at her mouth. She sucked in her lower lip, presumably to hide it.
“Why?”
I knew what she was asking, but I just couldn’t resist playing devil’s advocate. This conversation was so good for my precious male ego. “Why what?”
“Why haven’t you ever called a woman you’ve been with insatiable?” She enunciated with great care as if talking to a small child.
“Because you’re the first woman I’ve met who I’m sure isn’t faking orgasm and who genuinely wants more, and I love that about you.”
I almost stomped on my tongue to stop talking. I mean, really—I’d mentioned the “L” word. Okay, I hadn’t told Logan I loved her, but this was getting just a little too close for comfort. Something like when you get a little too close to a fire and your hair singes. Instead of backing away, I was getting ready to dive right into the live coals. Logan’s tiny smile morphed into a wide grin.
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