“What’s so funny?”
“I know that shouldn’t make me happy because it just confirms that I’m a tramp, but it does.”
“That’s good because I’ve been looking for a tramp my whole life.”
Shit. I couldn’t believe those words just ran out of my mouth.
If there was a way to look hopeful and defiant at the same time, Logan pulled it off. She tipped her chin higher. “How can you say that? Everyone knows that any woman who craves sex is a tramp.”
“Really? That’s how you define tramp?”
I could see her putting her author’s hat on. “Let’s see, tramp. Well, it’s a woman who will open her legs for just about anyone. You know, the girls they all talked about in high school. Everybody knew who they were. You know what they say, ‘a tramp sleeps around and lies.’”
I barked out a laugh. “Who says this shit besides some adolescents with testosterone-addled brains? Come on, Logan. Have you ever heard a grown man talk like this about women?”
I watched the crimson blush surge up her neck and into her face. Daniel, you idiot. I thought I’d lost her again, but then her head resumed its defiant tilt.
“Actually yes, I have.”
“Let me guess—”
“It’s not just Greg. All of his buddies talk like this at their card games.”
I tipped forward and brushed my lips across hers. “I rest my case. Now, let’s go for that walk you were talking about. How about you check out the back while I check out front. Be careful. We don’t know how much damage the storm caused.”
Slivers of sunlight shot through the trees illuminating the lush foliage. I tried to shift the tree resting on the car. It wouldn’t budge. Never one to take no for an answer, I braced my feet and put my full weight behind a giant shove. It didn’t even budge an inch.
“You’ll need a maintenance crew to do that.” I jumped and spun at the sound of the male voice behind me.
“Raphael, you’re back early. Is something wrong? How the hell did you get here?”
He stood leaning against a tree trunk, dressed in an immaculate lightweight suit that looked like it dropped on him straight from the dry cleaner’s hanger.
“I’m always here when I’m needed. Walk with me, son.” Raphael turned and led the way through the dense undergrowth deeper into the forest. Upon closer inspection, I made out a faint trail tracing through the woods. I ran to catch up with him.
“Wait up. I’d better tell Logan where I’ve gone. She’ll want to say hi.”
“You won’t be gone a minute. It sounds like you’re enjoying your time together.”
“What would make you say that? And you still haven’t answered my question—what’s wrong?”
He looked at me as if I was some simpleton, and he was right. It didn’t matter how he knew, he knew. As for what was wrong, he’d tell me in his own time.
“I’d say we hit it off, but there’s something not quite right, and I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong with her.”
“Perhaps she’s not the problem.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Our society teaches us to have deep shame about what some pundits deem depraved, and that includes most sexual pleasure. That hasn’t changed since Anais’s time.”
“Certainly not when it’s anything to do with power, restraint, or impact play.”
“I sense you’ve spent a long time running from who you are. Until you come to terms with and embrace your true self, you’ll be unable to share honestly and openly with someone else. Relax and enjoy your kink.”
“Logan’s the one having issues here, not me. I’m not a goddamned mind reader, you know.” I kept my tone even and forced a smile, but I could see I hadn’t fooled Raphael for a minute.
“I suspect Logan feels otherwise. When you relax, she’ll relax. Right now, she’s getting mixed messages from you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“No? Well, give it some thought. Meanwhile, it will be at least another day before you’re able to leave here. There’s a beautiful waterfall out back. Have a look.”
I turned and faced the direction he pointed in. When I turned back, he was gone.
Damned him. I didn’t want to think about my depravity, never mind embrace it. I liked the long-suffering explanation for why no one could love me. It made life a lot simpler…and lonesome.
Your turn, Daniel.
Chapter 19
Logan
“Looks like we won’t be going anywhere today,” Daniel said.
I stood beside him, staring at the remains of what used to be my beautiful car. I loved that car. My Infiniti and I had spent many long hours together on long country rides while I tried to figure out where exactly I’d gone wrong in my marriage. In many ways, my car was my second-best friend. How sad was that! And, unlike Judy, it didn’t talk back telling me to “dump the bastard.”
“Maybe we can get around it and walk to the road.”
“You just can’t wait to get out of here, can you?” Daniel kicked at the flat rear tire, no doubt so he wouldn't have to look at me.
The kernel of joy that had been growing, like a rare butterfly unfurling its wings, instantly shriveled into a tight little ball and disappeared back inside of its cocoon. I’d obviously done something to annoy Daniel, and, as always, I had no idea what. What I did know is I did not want to see what was in his eyes—no doubt disgust now he’d had time to think without the veil of testosterone blinding him to reality.
“I’m sorry.” I stroked the hood of my car.
Daniel sighed. “No, it’s me who should be apologizing. I’d like nothing better than to stay here with you forever. I can be one moody son of a bitch, as I’m sure Greg’s told you. And speaking of Greg, I guess we should see if we can get in touch with the real world.”
I barked out a laugh. “And that’s supposed to reassure me?” For a smart man, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.
Daniel ran his hands through those gorgeous blond locks. I itched to feel those silky strands between my fingers but wrapped my arms around my chest instead, holding my emotions in check. He grinned.
“Like I said, moody. Let’s start over. Let’s take that walk you wanted. Raphael was just here, and he says there’s a beautiful waterfall out back.”
“I thought I heard you talking to someone.” My brow puckered as I turned in a slow circle trying to spot him. “Where is he?”
“Gone. Raphael was—”
“How did he get through? Obviously, if he got through, we can get out.” And you can get away from me like you want to.
I had no idea why I sounded so excited. Well, that’s a lie. Like the good little Stepford wife I’d been trained to be, my manner flexed to match the mood of the almighty male. I couldn't help myself. I rubbed my delts with both hands and glared up at him adopting my best offensive stance. The one designed to make most men run for the hills. Instead, the brilliance of Daniel’s smile burned off the brewing storm clouds, leaving the promise of clear skies ahead.
“You are awfully cute when you get all pissy. Come on, let’s go.” He strode off toward the backyard gesturing for me to follow with a wave of his hand over his shoulder.
I ran to catch up. “But what about Raphael? Where is he?”
“I don’t know where he is. He appeared, talked to me for a few minutes, then disappeared. That’s all I can tell you. It was all very weird, like this place.”
“Magical,” I whispered.
“What was that?”
“I said magical.” Now, he was going to think I was a nutbar, but he surprised me.
“There is something strange about him, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. This whole place seems surreal.”
“I know, beautiful, isn’t it? Exotic. It’d make the perfect setting for one of my novels.”
“It sure would. I’ve never seen anything like it. Come on, let’s have a look. I think I hear the wate
rfall.”
“What else did he say?”
Daniel shrugged. What the hell was it with men anyway? Getting anything out of them was like pulling teeth. If this were a woman, I’d know everything there was to know about what had happened with Raphael, right down to the clothes he was wearing.
“He didn’t say much. He just babbled some stuff about society and surrender.” He grabbed my hand. “Let’s go find that waterfall.”
Bursts of exotic wildflowers colored the lush green foliage as we wound our way around trees that told the tale of centuries past. The leaves undulating in the breeze seemed to whisper the name “Anais.” I stumbled over a root from an ancient oak tree, and Daniel caught me in his arms. He brushed a loose tendril behind my ear. The sudden intimacy brought a warm flush to my face.
“Oh, my gosh, Calla Lilies. I love those.” I pointed to a large patch of the fragrant flowers.
Daniel plucked one of the lilies and smelled it before tucking it into the side of my French braid. “The perfect flower for the perfect woman.”
He did know how to make a woman drench her panties. I skipped along beside him, letting nothing else penetrate but this moment in this unblemished place with this enigmatic man. Something about him brought out the young woman I’d once been and made me forget the society matron I’d become.
We burst out into a clearing revealing a pool of water so clear we could see the veins of the pebbles scattered across the sandy bottom. A smooth path led to a tall cliff where a wide stream of water tumbled through a vine-covered curtain shielding the rock into a pool of shimmering water. Daniel started stripping off his clothes. “Come on. Let’s go for a swim. I bet there’s a cave behind that waterfall.”
I stood stock still. How was I going to get out of this situation? If he thought I was going to take my clothes off for him in broad daylight, he had another thought coming. I watched fascinated as he rolled his jeans over that glorious backside and muscular thighs. Thighs that could hold me while I straddled him. Legs powerful enough to restrain my anticipation and hold me in suspended desire. I gave myself another hug as if that would protect me from the evil devil of nakedness…and my desire.
He turned around and faced me, hands on hips, his semi-erect cock tenting the fitted Calvin Klein boxer briefs that framed his perfectly formed ass. “Well?”
“Well, what?” Maybe if I played dumb, he’d leave me alone.
“Come on, take your clothes off. We’re going swimming.”
“No, you go. I’ll sit here and watch. I don’t swim.”
“Come on, Logan. I know better than that. Greg’s told us all about what a stunner you were in a bathing suit.”
“Which is why I don’t swim anymore. Besides, there’s probably snakes and leeches and stuff in there.” I hoped he’d do the male hero thing and latch onto how he’d protect me and all that nonsense.
“Why you don’t swim anymore—because you’re a stunner?”
Of course, Daniel would have to be different. I sighed and sat on a wooden bench resting in the shade of another lovely old red oak tree. Whatever we needed was there, like everything else at this mysterious house. Daniel slunk over like a jaguar he resembled, agile and dangerous, tanned muscles rippling in those long, lean legs, and planted himself in front of me. “So?”
“It’s nothing. Go for your swim. I’ll be right here, promise.” I waited for him to get annoyed and stalk off. Not Daniel. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, running his hands along the sides of my breasts, poking the beast that no longer slumbered within me. I threw my arms around his neck and joined the dance with his tongue, matching him move for move. He backed me up against the tree and started to pull my sweater over my head.
“Let me see you.” He brushed his thumbs over my nipples, and they hardened into pebbles, yearning for more.
I pushed him away and tugged my sweater back down.
“What on earth do you think you’re doing? I said no.”
He stepped back, arms up, palms facing me. “Whoa. What the—”
I took off running, stumbling over roots and crashing into trees, blinded by a cascade of tears. I rounded a corner and hid behind a large rock fortuitously placed just where I needed it. I tucked my knees under my chin, wrapped my arms around my legs, and sobbed until the faucet ran dry. At some point during the flood, Daniel’s arm slid around my shoulder and pulled my head into the crook of his arm. Something soft cleaned up the mess covering my face.
“Blow.” Daniel’s touch was gentle, caring. I almost came apart again. I opened my eyes and swatted away his hand.
“Oh my God, I’ve ruined your tee shirt.”
“It washes. That’s the small stuff. Isn’t it time we talk about what matters here? Don’t you think it’s time we figured it out?”
I sighed and tried to move out of his arm. He held on tighter.
“Logan, you aren’t running this time.” There was more than a hint of command in his tone triggering a blush of lust deep in my core. Master Daniel, outside of the bedroom. Oh, my.
I bought myself some time by doing a masterful job of blowing and cleaning my nose. After a millennium of seconds that didn’t last near long enough, I cleared my throat and straightened up. Daniel loosened his grip but didn’t let go. I gazed into eyes mirroring warmth, caring, command, and lust. Eyes that told me it was worth taking the risk.
“I didn’t know I signed on for true confessions when we agreed to be sex buddies.” Chicken.
“I think after what we’ve shared, we’ve gone a bit past the fuck buddy stage, don’t you?” He did not take the bait. Shoot! “Why don’t we start with whether you’re really afraid of swimming.”
“Kind of, but not really,” I mumbled. He said nothing. Just like a lawyer. I looked down at the ground. “You don’t want to see me naked.” I watched him through the veil of my lashes.
“Au contraire, my butterfly. I love seeing you naked.” His eyebrows squished together, and he tilted his head to one side as if trying to get a better look at me.
“Not in broad daylight, you won’t. I don’t want to ruin everything.”
“Okay, now I’m confused. How would seeing you naked ruin everything?”
“You’ll get that horrid look on your face. You are too nice a guy to say it, but I’ll know what you’re thinking. I’ve heard it all before.”
He put his finger under my chin and turned my face. Such a tiny gesture, filled with a tenderness I hadn’t realized I craved. He kissed the top of each eyelid, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up.
“What… Where?”
He kept walking toward the house. “Now it’s my turn. I’ll show you exactly what I have to say.”
He led me through the French doors to my bedroom and threw open the curtains. His hands were on me before I had time for more than one awkward thought. He clasped my cheeks and kissed the top of my nose.
“Let me tell you what I see.” He trailed kisses down the sides of my neck. “I see an exquisite woman hiding her strength and courage.”
He stroked the swell of my belly. “What do you see?”
Flab. “Pounds of butter.”
Daniel made a tsking noise and shook his head slightly.
“I see an artist’s dream. I see a Renaissance woman, whom I admire for the many accomplishments she refuses to let the world see.”
He slid his hands under the swell of my breasts and squeezed gently.
“I love the perfect curve of your hips and how they remind me of a quote from Lady Chatterley’s Lover.” He brushed my lips with another kiss. Bubbles of heat rolled through me like a kettle reaching the boiling point, and he’d barely touched me. I wanted to believe him so badly.
“I love D.H. Lawrence. Which quote?” I sounded breathless in my challenge.
“Ah, my Butterfly doubts me. Okay, how’s this? ‘He watched the beautiful curving drop of her haunches. That fascinated him to-day. How it sloped with a rich down-slope to the heavy roundness of her buttocks!�
�� You fascinate me every day.”
I wanted to believe so very much. But I’d opened my heart before, only to find out I was a means to an end. I needed to keep this in perspective—it was all about sex, nothing more. But Daniel said we’ve moved beyond that. Another bolt of hope shot through me.
“Logan.”
My eyes snapped open. Daniel’s crystal blue eyes reflected admiration…and command.
“That’s it, stay with me. I want every part of you.” He took my hand and backed to the edge of the bed. He stroked the side of my face, brushing the stray tendrils of hair back in place.
“I need to know you want to give yourself to me, not because I’ve asked you to because you want to. It’s not enough for me to try to convince you of just how perfect I think you are, I need to know you believe it.” He sat on the edge of the bed, hands gripping the edge of the quilt.
Bloody hell. He’d just passed the reigns of control to me. He sat there looking all tousled and boyish and hopeful and quizzical, yet there was no pressure. I had no doubt he’d accept whatever I decided without question. I’d come here wanting to find out who I was, and here was my chance. But what if…
I chewed on my bottom lip and fidgeted for a few minutes as insecurity and desire dueled for my attention. Daniel didn’t move; he watched and waited. The man was intense.
Oh hell. I grabbed the corners of my sweater, pulled it over my head, and tossed it on the floor. As I reached for the clasp of my bra, the echo of Greg’s voice brought a flash of insecurity shooting through me—“Come on, let’s see those flabby girls bounce.”
I shuddered and let the bra fall. I peeked at Daniel through my lashes. He said nothing, but I saw satisfaction and desire. I took a step forward and felt his warm breath tickle my skin. His hands clenched the quilt, and suddenly I knew what I wanted to do. I could make this man moan and scream because he wanted me. If you let go, he’ll be yours. I had no idea where the thought came from, but I rode with it.
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