Renegade Ridge

by Arabella Steedly

  Vanessa shook her head then covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, Jake. I thought the worst.”

  “I know you did and I don’t understand that. I am obviously doing something wrong if you believed I would stoop so low as to re-gift an engagement ring,” he told her.

  “No. It is not you. It was me,” she replied.

  “Is that the whole truth?” Jake questioned.

  “The whole truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I’m a stubborn, jaded woman. I’ve been in bad relationships that left me wondering why I didn’t see the signs and how I could have been so stupid. So, instead of addressing the thing with the ring like an adult, I ran away as fast as I could to try to avoid the pain,” she told him.

  “How did that work out for you?” he asked.

  “Not at all,” she said, looking into his eyes. “You are a part of me and leaving you was like ripping out a vital organ.”

  “The one that pumps life into the rest of you?” he offered.

  “Yes, that one,” she said.

  “I can relate. I think mine stopped for a while after you left. The last time I felt that much pain was when . . . well, a long time ago,” he said.

  “Jake, why can’t you say it?” she asked.

  “Say what?” he asked as if he had no clue what she was referring to. He knew exactly what she meant. Maybe he had been cutting off that thought for so long that it didn’t really occur to him that he was even doing it.

  “Your parents died, Jake. You never say the words. Why is it still so hard?” she asked.

  “I can’t have that conversation sitting at this table,” he told her quietly.

  “Speaking of this table, how did you find me?’

  “You know the answer to that. Heather called me. She said that you were struggling to get a grip and needed me.”

  Vanessa smiled. “I owe her one,” she said, casting a glance toward Heather who was drinking coffee and looking in their direction. Vanessa turned to face her and held up her water glass as a silent thank you and nodded quietly. A few moments later, Heather paid her check and disappeared out the door.

  Jake nodded. “Looks like she is a friend to both of us.”

  “It would seem so.”

  “Come on, and we will get out of here. I know a quieter place to have breakfast,” Jake suggested.

  ****

  Thirty minutes later they had returned to the ranch and Jake was placing the carton of eggs out on the counter to start their omelets. Rather than sitting at the breakfast bar, Vanessa set the small table out in the glassed sunroom. It wasn’t long before they were enjoying a quiet breakfast as they watched the morning sun melt away the frost.

  Jake sat sipping his coffee and took a bite of toast, looking over at her he gazed into Vanessa’s beautiful eyes. “You know, I missed a lot of time with my parents. I hated the ranch growing up… always surrounded by hay and manure, getting up at dawn to do chores around here before I went to school and then afterward I came straight home and repeated the routine. I had no life outside of this place and few friends other than Tucker,” Jake explained. “The life of a rancher, slash dairy farmer is not an easy one.”

  Vanessa put down her fork and leaned closer to the table and asked, “Didn’t you ever have a dream… I mean a dream of doing something else. Like I always dreamed of being a vet?”

  Jake nodded and replied, “Yeh, I wanted to sail… build my own boat and sail somewhere far away.”

  “I never pictured you as a sailor,” Vanessa laughed.

  “Anyway, as soon as I graduated from high school I wanted to select a university that offered Navy ROTC. But that never happened. Dad was dead set against it. He wanted me to go to the local community college and still live here on the ranch but he finally agreed I could attend the University of Arkansas as long as I came home almost every weekend to help out. At that time, all I could see was four more years of my life spent as his unpaid laborer.”

  “Sounds like it was pretty unfair to you.”

  “I thought it was at the time. Truth was Dad needed me, but I couldn’t see it. And after all, I got almost anything I wanted… a truck, decent clothes, a college education… it wasn’t that bad. Then Mom passed in my senior year. So, I ran away again this time to the military. The Army recruiter was quick to get me signed up. When I came home, Dad was so sick he could hardly walk.”

  “You didn’t know?”

  “I didn’t. Dad had kept it from me. I was in Afghanistan on an eighteen-month tour when he found out he was sick. He made Tucker swear not to tell me either. I didn’t know until I got back and it wasn’t long before he died.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jake.” Vanessa reached out and squeezed his hand.

  “It’s just life, isn’t it? But it was my selfishness that eventually stole my time with Dad away. I could have spent more time with my mother! I could have spent more time with my father! Instead, I spent all of my time trying to get away from them. I guess they showed me, huh? In the end, it was my time that ran out, and it was them that left me!” Jake turned away and peered out the window.

  “Jake that kind of thinking is unhealthy.”

  “That’s why I don’t talk about them. I can’t. If I do, all the hard feelings come flooding back again. So, when you ask why I don’t talk about them, now you know.”

  “I understand, but Jake, you can’t blame yourself for their deaths,” she said softly.

  “Yes, I can. What if my not being there somehow made them less healthy in a way that led to their demise. I blame myself for them, and I blame myself for Karen,” he replied.

  “Why Karen, too?”

  “I was too wrapped up in my own shit and didn’t give her the attention she needed. She coped by drinking instead, and eventually, that got out of control. Then she turned to drugs. By the time I saw the light, it was too late. Karen’s life was on a dead-end course, and when she needed me the most I turned her over to her father… who had molested her as a child. So I abandoned Karen too and volunteered to go to the Middle East so I would have a good excuse to call it quits,” Jake explained.

  “Oh, Jake. You can’t carry around all this guilt. It is eating you up inside. You have to let it go and move on with your life,” she told him.

  “I was trying. I resisted my feelings for you at first. I was afraid I would only fail you like I did my parents and Karen. I was afraid that you would hurt me and I wasn’t sure how much more of that I could stand either. It was only after almost losing you that I began to see how little the potential for hurt was compared to how I felt watching you every day and not being able to tell you how I felt,” Jake told her.

  Vanessa grabbed both of his hands. “I’m here now, Jake, and I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. If you don’t want to be on this ranch, then you don’t have to. I know you feel an obligation to the people that work here, but you could sell it and let the new owner keep them on. It’s not like the person who bought it wouldn’t need ranch hands too and the ones already here are well trained and acquainted with the daily activities and layout,” she told him.

  Jake shook his head. “I don’t know where else I would go, what else I would do.”

  “Well, perhaps you should seriously consider a change. Whatever you decide I will support your decision,” Vanessa said softly.

  Jake nodded quietly, leaning forward to kiss her before slumping back in his chair. After a few moments, though, Jake stood up and stretched. He felt more relaxed somehow, still a bit sad but heartened that he had been completely honest with Vanessa and had cleared the air between them. Now, Jake felt they were on the right course. He was looking forward to spending the rest of his life together with Vanessa, happy.

  14

  On the first Saturday in May, when Renegade Ridge was painted in the pastel colors of spring, family and friends were gathered for Vanessa and Jake’s wedding day. For weeks now, Jake, Tucker and many o
thers had been working hard under Vanessa’s watchful eye to construct a gazebo that transformed the backyard into the perfect place to celebrate their nuptials. The florist had been at the ranch for the past two days busy arranging potted ferns, and fig trees that created an outside border for the rows of white folding chairs. That morning they had finished placing an array of white and yellow flower arrangements here and there that matched the forsythia that Jake’s mother had planted years ago along the sides of the ranch house.

  Vanessa’s heart raced as her mother buttoned up her ivory lace dress that had been perfectly tailored to accentuate her curves then adjusted her waist-length veil. With it, she wore Eleanor Morrow’s engagement ring and a new strand of pearls she had purchased to match the pearl earrings borrowed from her mother. A satin garter with blue ribbing adorned her leg beneath her wedding dress just above a pair of new cowgirl boots.

  Moments later, after her mother had handed Vanessa her bouquet and taken her seat on the front row near the gazebo, she stepped out on the back porch and waited for the small ensemble to start The Bridal Chorus. She could see Jake standing in front of the gazebo wearing a stylish black tuxedo with his hands clasped together in front of him. Tucker, his best man, was by his side. Heather, her maid of honor, was standing across from the men in a pale-yellow dress stitched with the lace pattern that matched Vanessa’s bridal gown. Her father walked out on the porch behind her and offered his arm. She laid her hand in the crook of his elbow and stepped down the stairs of the porch as the music started. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Apollo running up, but he stopped and wagged his tail. Even Apollo was on his best behavior that day.

  Vanessa heard her father say, “You look beautiful. Almost as beautiful as your mother did on our wedding day.” He must have sensed she was a bit nervous when he whispered, “You’re doing fine. Just put one foot in front of the other,” as she glided over the white linen runner that had been rolled out between the chairs. Before she knew it, he was kissing her on the cheek, and Jake stepped forward to take her arm.

  Jake’s heart was beating like a tom-tom in his chest, he had never seen a woman more beautiful, and now she was going to be his, all his. He swallowed hard, took her arm and turned to help Vanessa up the stairs of the gazebo where the Methodist minister from the church he had attended as a boy nodded and smiled at them.

  Vanessa and Jake stood before the minister and said their vows, stumbling over words and nervous with anticipation, but blissfully happy to finally become man and wife. After a long kiss, the ensemble began the processional while Jake and Vanessa rushed back over the white runner as guests tossed rice at them and cheered.

  A few minutes later they posed for pictures and cut their wedding cake as the ensemble played old favorites and new ones. After their special dance, Jake was met by an old friend who extended his palm and said, “Congratulations, Jake. Your parents and your grandfather would have been so happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Mr. Anderson. I trust that you and your wife will enjoy expanding your ranch and hope everything goes well with the projects you have in mind. I want to thank you too for allowing us to have our wedding and reception before you rented out the house,” Jake told him.

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Mr. Anderson said as he was joined by his wife, Betty.

  Vanessa and Betty had grown close too, over the last months. She had shared several recipes with Vanessa, and in return, Vanessa had found her a new Airedale puppy that looked just like the one Betty had when she was young. Vanessa stepped forward and kissed her on the cheek saying, “Thanks so much for catering the reception for us. Everything turned out lovely… I’m very pleased.”

  “Well, you’re welcome as welcome can be. You know, Vanessa, you’ve become the daughter I never had,” Mrs. Johnston gushed wiping away a tear with the tissue she already had in her hand.

  The bride and groom returned to the festivities, enjoying being in the place where they had fallen in love one last time. They had packed and were ready to move into Vanessa’s house on the other side of the county. Part of the money Jake had received from selling the ranch had gone toward paying off Kessler, and they had put the vet practice on the market, so they were both hopeful that soon Kessler would be completely out of their lives.

  Today, Jake and Vanessa had not a single care in the world. They were each content to just enjoy the day and one another as they sipped champagne and laughed with the friends they soon would leave behind.

  Then several guests turned when they saw a cloud of dust and a red pick-up come to a stop near the barn. Vanessa peered over to see who it was and watched as Jake ran over to the truck and pulled open the door. Tucker had broken away from the crowd and was rushing toward the truck too. “I’ll be damned,” Tucker shouted.

  Randy jumped to the ground. Jake and Tucker heard him say, “I’m sorry I’m late.” Jake embraced the young man, glad to see he was well, as Randy continued, “I’m sorry I missed the wedding. I got hung up in traffic and was lucky to even get here by now, but I couldn’t miss saying congratulations and telling the two of you, goodbye.” Then he peered around, scouting out the crowd. With a puzzled look on his face, he asked, “Where’s Vanessa?”

  Vanessa had walked around on the other side of the truck wanting to surprise him, “Boo…here I am!” She hugged Randy too. Remembering the last time she had seen him… a bloody mess. “You look fantastic,” Vanessa said.

  “Thanks. I’m doing good. I’m so lucky even to be here. I might not be, if not for you,” Randy said giving Vanessa a peck on the cheek.

  “Is this the first time you’ve been back?” Jake asked.

  “Yes. I had to do some online classes to graduate on time after I cut up my leg, but I got them done. I was afraid I wasn’t going to make fall term, but I somehow managed to do it. Mom and Dad are kinda bummed about me being all the way over in Fayetteville, but I love it.

  “I know it’s a lot of fun being an Arkansas Razorback… believe me, I loved it. But, just don’t forget to visit them often, Randy. Your parents love you. Besides how many guys out there have a dad cool enough to be named Digger Graves? Randy laughed and nodded. “Alright, well you best go find you a plate before all the food is gone,” Jake suggested

  Later that day, just before they drove away from the ranch for the last time, Jake pulled a hand-saw out of the toolbox of the truck and cut down the wooden sign branded with Renegade Ridge. Love it or hate it, Jake knew the ranch had been such a large part of his life there was no way he was going to leave the sign to be removed by the new owners eventually. Hours later, they were in a rented car headed toward the airport for their honeymoon on a Florida beach that would signify the end of one life and the beginning of a new one for the two of them. By the time a week was past, and it was time to return home, they had rented a house along a canal that led out to the ocean and were making plans for their final move.

  ****

  A month later when they arrived at the freshly painted rent house, Jake was surprised by a small sailboat in need of a few repairs was tied to the pier behind their new home. Vanessa held his hand and tugged at him to walk closer down the path to the canal’s edge. She took a deep breath. “Well, do you like it?”

  With a smile growing wider on his face Jake asked, “Is it ours?”

  “It is.” She nodded.

  “But how?” Jake rushed toward the pier and jumped aboard… steadying himself as the small boat swayed back and forth.

  Walking close behind him she explained, “You aren’t the only one capable of calling ahead and making arrangements. I sold the camper to the vet over in the next county as a backup unit and used some contacts I know down here to find it. It needs work, but I know you, you’ll only love it more after you get your hands on her… sailor!”

  Jake held out his hand to help her onto the deck. Vanessa sank into a teak deck chair and watched as Jake inspected it from the bow to stern; touching the rigging, running his hand over the sm
all helm, and opening and closing the storage compartments. He finally nodded, parsed his lips and declared, “She’s sturdy.”

  “I say we christen it.”

  Jake stood for a moment with one arm crossed over his chest, his fingers stroking his chin. “Miss Indomitable…that’s her new name…. Just like you! You’re the bravest person I’ve ever known, Vanessa. One of the many reasons I fell in love with you.”

  That evening, they made love out on the deck beneath the moonlight. Afterwards, they cuddled while enjoying the gentle sway of the boat as the small ripples caused by a gentle breeze kissed the sides.

  About the Author

  Arabella Steedly is a romance author with a taste for steamy, and a flair for cowboys, bad boys, and SEALs. Her collection of books will instantly satisfy your every desire…

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  Introduction

  The door you see behind you is open and waiting for us to walk through, symbolic of our rite of passage into our adult life. A life for which our high school education has ably prepared us. We are bidding our old school farewell and may never again enter these hallowed halls as students. But this isn’t goodbye, my friends; it’s au revoir — adios until we will meet again!