by Diana Fraser
“Well you can’t. He’s right. You’d attract too much attention and that’s not what Max wants for his sister.”
Laura pursed her lips in regret and rubbed her forehead. “I’d have like to have gone.”
“If you hadn’t ignored my emails, you’d have known about the invitation. Anyway, I’m surprised. Why do you want to see Max? You’ve been avoiding him these past weeks.”
Laura shrugged. “I don’t know… It’s just… Anyhow, I’ll be leaving soon, so I guess a weekend in Akaroa would be nice. I won’t see him after we return to the States.” She narrowed her gaze onto Kelly. “I do have some other stuff coming up in the States, don’t I?”
Kelly was suddenly busy. “No, nothing planned.”
“How come?”
Kelly shrugged and then looked at her directly. “You’re avoiding the issue. What are you going to do about Max?”
Laura folded her arms angrily. “What do you suggest?”
“See him when he returns from Akaroa. Spend time with him. As you say, you’ve only a few more weeks left then it’ll all be over. If you want it to be…” She trailed off.
“If I want it to be? What do you mean? Do you really think I should continue this charade?”
Kelly gazed at her directly, quietly. “Only if you cease to make it a charade.”
Laura sighed. “I like him. You know I like him.”
“Then spend some time with him.”
“It’s difficult. Things have become more… intense between us.”
“That’s good.”
“No, it’s not.”
“All I’m saying is, just continue this marriage without an agenda, just enjoy his company, just…”
Kelly was never at a loss for words. She didn’t hesitate about anything. Laura searched her best friend’s face and something clicked. “You want me to fall in love with him, don’t you?”
Kelly pulled away from her and didn’t meet her gaze. “Why would I want you to do that?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want, or don’t want, it’s what you want.”
“What I want is to get out of here as soon as possible.”
As soon as she’d said the words, she regretted it. Not only because it wasn’t true but also because she sounded like a woman she wouldn’t have liked to know—someone hard, someone unfeeling, someone who she didn’t recognize.
“Fine,” said Kelly, as she slammed some papers onto the desk. “Leave it with me. We’ll be on the first plane out of here after your marriage has been annulled.”
“Good.” But Laura didn’t move after Kelly left the room. She continued to look out to the mountains, the blue, blue sky, but she saw none of it. She simply thought of Max. She would leave. But there was something she needed—no, wanted—to do first.
Laura thanked the driver and slammed the car door shut. She wished she’d gone with Kelly’s suggestion of hiring a driver instead of hitch-hiking. She felt exhausted as the truck drove off down the dusty road. She turned to the Connelly family home—Belendroit—which peeped out from behind a thicket of trees behind a picket fence which had seen better days. A gate stood permanently open, the tree to which it had been fixed now a part of it.
She might not be able to see anything, but she could hear. Music drifted out to the road, along with a low hum of laughter and talk. She suddenly felt unsure. All the way here, hitchhiking, disguised from her fans by the wig and boho hippy clothes Kelly had picked up for her from a charity shop, she’d felt like she was on another of her challenges. But now she’d arrived and she suddenly felt like an outsider. Would Max welcome her, let alone any of his family?
A frisbee suddenly burst through the trees and onto the drive. Laura smiled and walked into the drive way and picked it up. It felt like a sign, an invitation. Two cocker spaniels came running up, barking at her. She took aim and threw the frisbee into the garden, under the trees. The dogs ran off in hot pursuit. Laura turned around and saw a red-headed young woman approaching her with a big wide smile.
“Hey there!” she greeted. “You don’t look like the paparazzi. Are you?”
“No,” Laura laughed. “I actually have an invitation to the wedding. Do you want to see it?” She rummaged around in her old ruck-sack.
“No, don’t worry about it. You don’t look like someone we should be scared of. Come on up. The ceremony’s about to happen.” They fell into step. “It got delayed as Max had to throw a couple of reporters out. They were pretending to be guests but I could tell they weren’t as soon as I saw them.”
Laura’s heart sank. It was her fault. She only hoped her notoriety hadn’t spoiled anything for Lizzi or Pete.
“I love your dress, by the way. I can’t wear orange. With my hair I look like I’m on fire.”
“That sounds a pretty good look to me.”
“And the hat. Very cool.”
“Thanks. We found them in an op shop.” She plucked at the blood orange cheesecloth material.
“Well, they look good on you.” The stranger paused and gave an enchanting smile of pure welcome. Laura relaxed. This woman was impossible not to like. “Which one of us invited you?”
“Max.”
“Max?” Amber stopped where the trees thinned out and the house became visible. She frowned. “That’s not cool.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s married and she couldn’t be here today because of the publicity. Max said she didn’t want to take attention away from the bride and groom. He said she was pretty sweet that way. And yet he invited you?”
Laura smiled, her mind having stopped on Max’s comment about her being sweet. He’d never said anything like that to her and she never thought of herself in those terms. It made her feel sweet.
“Yes.”
“What did you say your name was?”
Suddenly Max appeared on the veranda, did a double-take and came toward her. Amber saw Max approach at the same time and looked back at Laura. Laura took off her sunglasses and grinned at Amber. She lifted the long dark wig she wore to reveal her blonde hair and pressed her finger to her lips.
Amber laughed and grabbed her arm as they went to meet Max. “Don’t worry, I won’t say a word.”
* * *
When Max had first seen Amber talking to the dark-haired hippy in the drive, he’d thought it was another Laura groupie who had to be driven off. But then she’d laughed at something Amber said and he’d known. She might be able to disguise herself by her different style, wig, hat and glasses, but not her laugh.
“Laura.” He nodded as he approached her.
“Max,” replied Laura. “I hope it’s okay…me coming, I mean.”
He was surprised by how uncertain she appeared. It wasn’t like her. Before he could answer, Amber looked from one to the other and slipped her arm through Laura’s. It appeared Amber who, for all her free-wheeling lifestyle, was wary about taking people into her heart, had done just that with Laura.
“She’s in disguise, Max, so don’t spoil it,” said Amber. “You never know, there might be a journalist lurking in the trees somewhere just waiting for this moment.”
“And I really don’t want to start anything,” added Laura.
“Then why did you come?” He knew the words sounded harsh but Laura had been avoiding him for weeks and he really wanted to know the answer. But she didn’t answer, simply met his gaze in an uncomfortable impasse.
“Shut up, Max!” said Amber. “Look! Things are about to start. Go away, and leave Laura with me. You’re the best man, you need to be over there with Pete.”
There was never any point in arguing with Amber because usually there was little logic to be followed and Amber did her own thing anyway. Not that it ever stopped him. But, for once, as Max left the two of them and walked over to where Pete stood, tugging at his tie, looking the most nervous he’d ever seen him, Max had to admit, Amber had a point. Besides he was here for Lizzi.
As if conjured by his thoughts, Lizzi appeared as the music began. She walked up the short grassy path from the house on the arm of a proud, dapper looking Jim Connelly, with Lizzi’s daughter, Aimee, walking ahead, sprinkling rose petals as she went. He’d never seen Lizzi look more beautiful, or more serenely happy and it filled him with a deep sense of contentment. Being the eldest of a large family he’d always felt responsible for his siblings. And when, too late, he’d discovered what Lizzi had suffered at the hands of her first husband, he’d also felt guilt—guilt that he hadn’t known and hadn’t sorted out her problems. But she’d dealt with all that on her own now and, one glance at Pete, he knew that he didn’t have to worry about her anymore. She had a happy future ahead of her.
But as soon as the marriage celebrant began speaking, he was forced to remember another wedding ceremony. His own. He continued to focus on Lizzi and Pete as they spoke their vows to each other—vows which he knew no one had created for them, because they came straight from the heart. The contrast to the debacle of his own wedding, to how he now felt about Laura, got to him and he could no longer avoid looking at her. He glanced to one side and caught her gaze.
Apart from him and Laura, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. And that wasn’t because they weren’t moved, he knew that much. He could see it in Laura’s devastated gaze, and he felt it deep in his heart. This was marriage; this was the real thing and what they’d done was a travesty of everything his family—and his mother—held dear. How had they both got it so wrong?
* * *
It wasn’t until much later, after the reception which was held in the gardens, after all the speeches had been made, after more laughter and some tears, that Max sought out Laura. They’d been seated at opposite ends of the table so as not to arouse any speculation. He’d been aware of her, how could he not be? Even if she was, to her credit, keeping in the background.
But it hadn’t only been that which had stopped him from talking to her. She’d been avoiding him for weeks and now she was here, apparently expecting to be welcomed with open arms. But he wasn’t in the mood for being relegated to being one of her hangers-on—there when she wanted him to be, but absent when it suited. Life wasn’t like that; he wasn’t like that. Not with her, anyway.
He looked around. She wasn’t with Amber and Aimee who were playing with the dogs on the veranda, and she wasn’t with the others on the beach. He went inside the house which was quiet and which he noticed for the first time, had a neglected feel. He shrugged it off. No doubt a contrast to the busyness and fun outside.
He went inside the sunny kitchen-diner, and looked out the window.
Most people had moved off down to the beach from where he could hear shouts of laughter and splashing. He glanced out the window just in time to see Pete drop his bride, Lizzi, into the water from the old jetty. He smiled to himself. Pete had a lot to learn. Max knew that Lizzi would get her own back and some—but Pete would never know when it was going to happen. Max grinned.
“You’ve one big happy family,” said Laura, as she came and stood beside him, holding a bottle of sparkling wine and two champagne flutes.
He turned to look at her fully for the first time. She’d taken off her hat and her blonde hair was messy and tousled, falling around her tanned shoulders. She looked out the window at his family and friends doing what they’ve always done for half the year—fooling around in the bay.
“Mostly,” he said, forcing himself to look away from her pretty face, freckled nose, fresh complexion, no make-up as usual.
“A glass of bubbly?” she offered, setting them onto a nearby table and pouring a glass.
“Sure, thanks,” he said, accepting the glass.
She poured another for herself and held it up to him with her head cocked to one side, but her face serious.
“Here’s to marriage,” he said, clinking his glass against Laura’s.
“To marriage.” She sipped the wine. “Two weddings within a few months of each other. That’s quite something.”
“Yes. But they’re not in the same league though, are they?”
“True. Lizzi and Pete look totally in love.”
“And we weren’t.”
Laura looked away quickly.
“They’re in it for the long haul, whatever happens.”
“Yeah.” Max glanced at them. “Pete will look after her.”
“I think they’ll both look after each other.” Laura raised an eyebrow. “Looking after someone isn’t the male prerogative, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. But I’m old-fashioned about some things. Sometimes women need to be protected, to be cared for, and cherished.”
“And men? Don’t they need the same thing?”
“Not so much. We’re a tough lot.”
She snaked her finger up his arm. “Is that so? You mean you don’t feel anything when I do this?” She looped her finger under his shirt and tickled his forearm.
He shook his head at her flirtation but didn’t fool himself it meant anything. “Sure do. Feels like a spider’s crept up my shirt.”
She narrowed her eyes. “A spider, eh? Well, how about this?” She tightened her fingers around his arm and pulled him toward her. She licked her lips and stood on tiptoe and kissed the corner of his mouth. He sucked in a harsh breath and turned his head to try to capture her mouth with his but she pulled away, laughing. “Hm, I wonder what else you feel?”
“Come to my room tonight and I’ll show you.”
Her face suddenly lost its humor. “I… I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stay.”
He frowned. “How did you get here, by the way? I don’t see any cars I don’t recognize.”
“I hitch-hiked.”
“You what?”
She smiled. “Hitch-hiked. You know, you stick up your thumb in the air when a car comes past. And hope they’ll stop.”
“You hitch-hiked?” he said, exploding all over again as his mind ran over the risks she’d run.
She laughed but this time it didn’t amuse him.
“You’re crazy!”
“And you’re only just finding that out?”
“But anything could have happened to you!”
“And anything did. Two lovely couples gave me lifts. One from Queenstown to Christchurch and then another to here.”
He shook his head, unable to express how much he hated the thought of her hitch-hiking.
“It was the only way, Max! I got my disguise together. Kelly gave me a lift to the main road and then I was off.”
He watched her as she looked around. Even with the flowing clothes that hid her beautiful body she looked amazing. He suddenly realized that this was because she was completely amazing to him.
“Stay the night, Laura.”
“I couldn’t impose. Besides there’s probably no room.”
“There’s room in my bed.”
She bit her lip and shook her head.
“No, of course, not,” he said quickly. “You know, I don’t want to take anything you don’t want to give.”
“You mean sex.”
He sighed. “No, I don’t mean just sex. People are chasing you all the time, wanting something from you, a smile, a photo, to talk to you. But that’s not me. You’re welcome to stay the night, lay beside me on my bed and I will hold you, simply hold you, just as I did the night we married. Just stay, Laura, give this thing we have going between us a chance, see where it takes us.”
She bit her lip and then shook her head. “No, I can’t.”
“Right. That smacks of intimacy and you don’t do that, do you, Laura? Physical or emotional. You came close to it in the caves and I didn’t see you for weeks afterward. Tell me, why the hell did you come here, anyway?”
“I wanted to be here, to see everyone.”
“To flirt with me a bit, maybe to kiss… but no more than that, eh, Laura? Because that’s as far as you go. At the smallest sign of anything more, you’re off.”
Laura’s smi
le vanished. “That’s not true!”
“I think it is. You’ve made it clear you don’t want to go anywhere near intimacy—emotional or otherwise. You’re scared. I get that, but—”
“I am not scared! I’m not scared of anything! How can you believe that after all the challenges I’ve accepted, all the challenges I’ve succeeded at? No, I simply don’t want a relationship. I’ve spent my whole adult life on my own, looking after myself. It’s enough for me. It has to be enough.”
“Okay, have it your own way. So, in a few months we’ll get the marriage annulled as arranged.”
She glanced away and didn’t answer.
“That is what you want, isn’t it, Laura?”
She shrugged. “That’s what we agreed.”
They stared at each other again and it was Max who turned away first. He was desperately disappointed and he didn’t want Laura to see it. He’d thought maybe she’d come to the wedding with the intention of turning their marriage into something more meaningful. But he was wrong. She’d felt trapped by not being able to come here, trapped by her own fame and had created her own challenge, her own little drama, including disguise and hitchhiking, to get here. No doubt there would be much mileage and hilarity to be made of it on her return.
She turned to walk away but stopped and turned.
“I can’t do intimacy, Max, you should know that much about me.”
He shrugged, and stuck his hands in his pockets. “That’s fine. Walk away then. But I need something first.”
“What?”
“The ring. It might not mean anything to you, but it sure means something to me.”
“Of course.” She tried to pull the ring off but it wouldn’t shift. “It won’t come.” She pulled again. “My stupid fingers. They’re swollen for some reason.”
He frowned. “Let me see.” He took her hand in his and studied it. “It is swollen. Why, what’s up?”
“I don’t know, just hot I guess.”
“Leave it then. I guess we need to continue to fool your precious public, even if we’re no longer fooling ourselves.”