by Diana Fraser
“Maybe. But she’s sick. She needs help and, for now, I’m going to give it. And, until she tells me to leave her alone, I’m going to be there for her.”
Max noticed Rachel and Gabe exchange looks. He wasn’t surprised. He’d never felt like this before—so certain, and yet so helpless. He had no alternative but to look after her, whether or not he was welcome, or would be rebuffed. He had no alternative but to make himself vulnerable, because he loved her. Heart and soul. And he’d do anything for her. Even let her go.
* * *
The doctor emerged from the swing doors. “She’s awake.”
Max didn’t need any further invitation. He walked through the doors held open by a nurse and found himself looking down at a woman who was a shadow of Laura. Her eyes were closed, her face deathly pale, dark rings under her eyes. His heart missed a beat but that was the last time, he’d make sure of that. He no longer felt tears, just a roaring strength to make sure Laura got well again.
He sat down beside her quietly. He glanced for reassurance at the doctor, who nodded. “She’s simply tired.”
At the sound of the doctor’s voice, Laura’s eyes fluttered open, revealing the woman he knew and loved. She gave a hint of a smile. “Max…” Her lips softly came together and opened to express the word that he hardly heard.
He took hold of her hand in both of his. “Laura.” He swallowed and bought time by focusing on her hand in his, smoothing over the fingers, the wee callouses created by her extreme sports, and his mother’s wedding ring, still firmly stuck on her finger. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes which were now fluttering open. “How do you feel?”
She gave a weak smile on lips as pale as her skin. “Fine.” Her eyelids closed briefly and her pale lips quirked lightly into a smile. “Just another…” She shifted and grimaced.
He leaned toward her. “What? What is it?”
She settled again. “Challenge. Just another challenge.”
He grinned, and for a moment thought those traitorous tears would return but he swallowed them back. “Exactly. And you always win your challenges.”
She nodded, her eyes never leaving his. “About what I said before…”
He knew what she was about to say but shook his head. “Don’t talk, or think about anything else. Just get well.” He wished his voice hadn’t cracked on the last word.
The doctor moved forward. “We’d better leave Laura to sleep now. She’s been through a lot and needs rest.”
Max nodded but didn’t move, kept stroking her hand. Irrationally, he wanted to stay, holding her, wanting to give her his strength so she could recover. The doctor coughed and raised his eyebrows at Max, indicating he should leave.
Max bent his head to Laura, who he could see was slipping asleep. “I’ll go, Laura. But I’ll be back. You need to know that you’re not on your own anymore. I’m here for you for as long as you want me to be. Together we’ll make you strong again. Okay?”
Her eyes opened and she gave him a glimmer of a smile. “Promise?” she said between barely open lips.
“Promise,” he said softly. He bent down and kissed her cheek. By the time he stood up she was asleep. He turned to the waiting doctor. He’d get this sorted and he’d keep his promise. “Doctor? I’d like a few moments.”
* * *
After he’d talked with the doctor and begun the process of arranging the operation which would make Laura well again, he went back into the waiting room. He was surprised to see his father there.
Jim Connelly held up a suitcase. “I’ve brought you some things.”
Max looked blankly at the suitcase.
“I’m afraid Amber packed it so God knows what’s inside.”
Max nodded distractedly.
“Probably healing crystals rather than anything useful like a toothbrush,” said his father with a rueful grimace.
Max nodded again, blinking back the stupid tears which now seemed to be permanently about to flow.
“Max! How is she?”
Max cleared his throat. “She’s okay, Dad. She’ll be okay. She needs an operation and time to recuperate but it’s so much better than—” He couldn’t finish the sentence. God knows what would happen to his voice or the damn tears if he did.
His father stepped forward and gave Max a hug. “So much better than it could have been,” Jim finished off for him. He stepped away quickly as if he thought Max would push him away. Max might have done once, but he wouldn’t have done now.
His father poured himself a coffee and took a sip before speaking again. “You know, she’s a fighter, she’ll pull through.”
“So was Mom, and she didn’t.”
There was silence and Max regretted his impulse to speak of his mother’s death with all its implications of blame on his father.
“No, she didn’t. And, as hard as it is for you to understand, that was not my fault.”
“Did I say it was?”
“No, but that’s what you believe.”
Max waved his hand. “Now isn’t the time to fight.”
“I’ve never wanted to fight with you, believe it or not.”
Max didn’t believe it and, from his father’s face, could see that he’d conveyed his response without speech.
“I spoke to Laura yesterday,” Jim continued.
“Yeah, I saw you. On the veranda.”
“She’s good company—easy to talk to.”
Max drew in a deep breath and looked up the ceiling, thinking about Laura’s ease in company—from the very young to the old. “Yeah, she is.”
“We talked about you, you know.”
His father’s sharp eyes didn’t leave him. “Oh.” He looked away. He felt no interest at his father’s words. All he could think of was how Laura looked when he’d seen her talking with his father. Her dippy, hippy clothes seemed to fit with Belendroit’s eccentricities. But yesterday at Belendroit was a different time— a time when Laura was well.
“Don’t you want to know what we talked about?”
“You’ve told me already. Me.”
His father sighed. “One thing’s certain—she’s a lot easier to talk to than you!”
“Go on then, what did you talk about? Looks like you’re going to tell me whether I want to hear or not.”
“Damn right! She told me that you’re still hurting over your mom’s death. She told me that you’re too stubborn to make amends, but that you need me, that you love me, despite what you think I’ve done. ”
“She told you all that?”
“Yes, she did. You don’t give her enough credit for understanding you. God knows how she managed it. Seems to me you’ve talked more to that young woman than anyone else in your life—including me, or your brothers or sisters.”
“That’s because I love her,” Max said bleakly.
There was a long silence. “She didn’t say anything about love.”
“That’s because I haven’t told her yet and because she doesn’t love me. She still wants to get our marriage annulled.”
“Are you sure about that? She didn’t strike me as if she was talking about a man she was going to walk away from any time soon.”
“Well, she was. She was leaving, going back to Queenstown to carry out our last challenge together—the annulment—when she collapsed.”
Jim Connelly reached out and gripped his son’s shoulder. “Rachel told me the doctors say she’ll be okay and you have to believe that.”
Max nodded. “I do. I can’t imagine this world without her.”
Jim smiled sadly and grunted. “It’s good to see you in love.” He turned to leave.
“Dad?”
Jim turned back to face Max.
“Laura got it wrong. It’s not you I blame for Mom’s death. It’s me. And it was Laura who made me see that.”
Before Jim could say anything Max pushed open the door and went to look at Laura through the window. He wasn’t allowed in the same room—she needed to sleep—but he had
to see her. He had to be near in case she awoke. He needed to prove to her that it wouldn’t be like before. She wouldn’t be alone this time.
For a moment Laura didn’t know where she was. She licked her lips which were dry and cracked. She tried to swallow. Then she felt her body, not with her hands, but with her mind, checking her strength in every part of her.
She felt her chest rise and fall like bellows, sucking the dry air of the hospital room into her lungs, feeding the blood that the slow rhythm of her traitorous heart pushed through her chest, to her stomach and limbs. There was no longer any pain. She took a long slow breath. No pain, she repeated to herself. Then she did what she was truly scared of doing. She flexed her muscles. Not all at once but starting with her legs, from relaxed she stretched out first one leg and then the other. She felt the tug of tubes attached to her hand. Ah, she thought. That’s why there’s no pain.
She hadn’t yet opened her eyes through which bright light penetrated. She knew she could see because she’d seen Max before and had listened to the doctors. What she was scared of was looking upon the world as an invalid once more, because she didn’t know how she could cope again. But now she felt her muscles respond to her commands, it was time. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
It wasn’t what she expected. The brightness which had awoken her was all around. She didn’t move her head right away, just squinted as her eyes became accustomed to the light. Then she rolled her head to one side. She was in a bed beside a window which overlooked the park. She was drowning in sunlight. The tops of trees were beginning to turn orange as autumn approached. Thank God she could see. When she’d collapsed she hadn’t been able to see anything.
It was as if the collapse had heightened her senses. She was aware of everything—every sound, every pulse and movement in her body. She felt as if she were floating on top of the world. She laughed and a tear trickled from her eyes. She closed them for a moment. So much sensory overload was hard to adjust to after her body’s near total shutdown.
She drifted off to sleep almost straight away, except this time she was dreaming and felt wonderful. She awoke a little later and immediately turned her head to the window. The sun was setting and it filled the room with a rich glow. But it wasn’t only the sun that was different. The room felt different and she knew she wasn’t alone. Lying flat on her back with no pillow, she had only two options. She rolled her head to the other side but only saw the opposite window. She cleared her throat in order to speak but she immediately heard a chair scrape, her hands taken into two warm large hands and held there as Max’s face appeared. His eyes were bleary through lack of sleep, yet they still managed to contain an intensity which was completely focused on her. She felt a familiar rush of attraction in response.
She smiled. “You look terrible.” She hardly recognized her raspy voice.
His face twisted into a smile of relief or pain, she couldn’t tell which. “You look beautiful.”
It was her turn to try to laugh but it didn’t happen because her throat felt like sandpaper. Max picked up a glass of water. “Let me help you sit up.” He took her tenderly in his arms and placed some pillows behind her. She felt a little dizzy for a few moments and then, relieved that everything was still functioning, she held her hands over his as he tipped the glass of water toward her mouth. She drank the water which had never tasted so delicious. She lay back on the pillows which Max placed under her and saw, for the first time, that in front of her were more windows, and yet more tops of trees above which sunset colors flooded the sky. The wall against which the bed was placed also had two long windows either side of the bed and one doorway.
“I’m an eagle, in a nest.”
His mouth twisted again, as if he were trying to control some stray, unwanted emotion. He rubbed her hands in his, as if he were coaxing something tender into life. “I couldn’t have my girl trapped, now, could I?”
“Your girl?” She savored the feel of the words on her lips before swallowing. “Am I still?”
“Sure are.”
She smiled and closed her eyes, feeling suddenly tired again. Of course Max had too much integrity, was too much a man, to walk away from a problem.
“Laura? How are you feeling?”
She nodded, took a deep breath and opened her eyes, hoping the tears that pooled there wouldn’t overflow. She didn’t know if she had the strength to wipe them away. Luckily she didn’t have to. Max swept them away with a soft cloth. She didn’t want to ask but she had to face the truth.
“I’ve felt better.” She swallowed. “Tell me, Max, am I going to recover?”
He gripped her hands more tightly. “Yes,” he said with an urgency designed to convince. “Yes! The operation is scheduled for a week’s time, providing you’re clear of the infection by then.”
“The one the doctor told me about?”
“Yes. You’ve recovered well from the collapse but they need to operate to fix things for good.”
She nodded but couldn’t prevent the sob sneaking up in her throat. She felt his lips on hers as she closed her eyes. “It’ll be fine, Laura. I’ll be with you. And your parents will be here when you wake up from the operation. All the people who love you will be here.”
“Max?”
“Yes.”
“I never did get to fly with you, did I? Remember, fire, earth and wind… you promised me I’d fly in the wind.”
“You will. I promise you that, my love.”
The doctor came in and gave her a sedative.
Love… Did Max say “love”? It was the last word on her mind as she drifted into a dreamless sleep.
11
“Laura is on the mend but what about her marriage? Will it last? Hope so…” @TellTaleGirl #togetherforever?
By the time Max returned permanently to the Lodge, Queenstown was busy with the beginning of the winter season. The autumn landscape of burned ochre, russet, and gold was now clothed in the white sheen of early snow. It promised to be a good ski season, Max thought, as he looked out across the hills above which icy crags jutted into an electric blue sky. But the thought didn’t lift the pall of sadness which lay over him.
He glanced up at the floor to ceiling windows of the loft which rose out of the top of the Lodge, above the now bare branches of the cherry trees. He’d had it built especially for Laura who now lay there, recuperating. She’d exceeded the doctor’s expectations and was recovering well. When he remembered the day she’d collapsed—months ago now—he wondered how on earth they’d both managed to make it through. But he knew. Without the love and support of their families, they’d have survived, but not so well.
Laura’s parents had come as soon as they heard. They’d been beside her when she’d awoken from the operation, and had continued to be with her afterwards at Belendroit where she’d been transferred to recuperate as soon as she’d been able. It seemed she’d underestimated their love for her. But it was often that way, thought Max, thinking of his own father, and how he’d been there for Max every hour of every day for the past two months. As had all his siblings.
Family… He’d thought he’d been alone; he’d thought wrong.
Max knew neither family’s problems would be solved overnight, but it was a beginning. There had been fault on both sides and it had taken Laura’s collapse for her family to realize just what they had and how they needed to work at making their relationship whole again. And that meant Laura returning to the US. But not just yet. They had a week left before she flew out.
She was confused, that much he could see. And he wasn’t going to make it harder for her. She needed to do this. That much, he knew. And then? The rest was up to her.
It had been Laura who’d insisted on spending these last days at Queenstown. And, for the first time since her parents had arrived, he was alone with her. Her parents had gone to Wellington on business and wouldn’t be returning until the day before she left. That mean seven nights. Seven nights and six days in which to help her,
and to enjoy her, and he meant to make the most of them.
“I’m coming with you to the States and that’s that,” said Kelly, crossing her arms and sitting back in her chair. It was all Laura could do not to smile. She knew from the jut of Kelly’s jaw that there was nothing Laura could do to change her mind.
Laura pushed herself upright. “It’s just…”
Kelly sat forward, staring directly at Laura. “Just what?”
“Just that… you didn’t sign up to be with an invalid.”
“I don’t remember signing up for anything.”
“You know what I mean.”
“You’re talking nonsense. And it’s not like you to talk nonsense. Open your laptop.”
“What’s the point?”
“It’s better than sitting here, whining.”
“I do not whine! I’ve never whined.”
“Well you are now. You’re feeling sorry for yourself.”
“I am not.” She frowned, suddenly uncertain. “Am I?”
A smile broke through Kelly’s stern expression. “Yes, you are. And you’re being uncertain, which isn’t like you either. There’s only one thing for it.”
“To stay in bed?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
Laura grunted and folded her arms across her chest and looked determinedly out the window, away from Kelly. She was beginning to annoy her now.
Kelly opened her laptop and brought it to the table. “See, here, this is what I’m talking about. Your adoring public are waiting to hear from you.”
She couldn’t resist looking at the screen, despite herself. And what she saw there made her sit bolt upright in bed. “How many comments?”
“Thousands. All wanting to know if you’re going to accept your next challenge.”
“What challenge?” She started scrolling through the comments, back to the top. “You mean someone’s challenged me while I’ve been lying here sick?”
“Looks like it.”
“What kind of person would do a thing like that?”