by Diana Fraser
A light drizzle fell, and Belendroit looked different somehow—less scary, softer and more settled in its environment. She cast a professional eye around, and she could see the signs which shouted its historical significance. She briefly wondered why she hadn’t seen them before. But then, as she stepped forward and her heartbeat quickened, she knew. She’d been completely overwhelmed by her emotions on her one and only visit.
But now she could see the tell-tale dips and depressions in the ground; how the vegetation changed according to the pH of the soil, revealing rubbish tips, potentially rich with finds. Not everyone could have seen the signs, but years of experience meant that Maddy could. She suddenly remembered a conversation with Flo when she’d told Flo that Maddy, and others like her, would love Flo’s house. Flo’s response had been that “People like you don’t come along every day.” Well, she thought looking around with satisfaction as her brainwave formed into a plan, once this dig took off, people like her would be all around here, looking for somewhere to stay. Somewhere just like Flo’s place.
But she’d think about that later. She turned to the house somewhere inside of which Jim Connelly was waiting for her. The house was hidden from the road by a small copse of trees but, once down the driveway, it revealed itself in all its colonial glory. Old-fashioned and full of character, its two wings embraced a large veranda which was the main living area in summer. Sheltered by a roof, it looked like the contents of the house had migrated outside for the summer. There was an eclectic mix of cushions, shawls, books, teapot, and other objects scattered around the cane chairs and table. A sunshade extended over the area onto the lawn where children’s toys were getting wet in the gentle, misty rain. It was the most inviting home she’d ever seen. And yet Jonny hadn’t spoken of it until those last few weeks when he’d started to recover.
She heard her name called, and she spun around. Jim Connelly emerged from the corner of the house where a wisteria grew. He waved to her. “Madeleine! How lovely to see you.” He had the kind of theatrical voice which carried easily across space. She smiled. Jonny had had the same kind of voice. But not Gabe. He rarely raised his voice; he didn’t need to, people always listened when he spoke.
She waved in response but didn’t bother to answer until she was closer. She most definitely didn’t have that kind of voice either.
“Mr. Connelly!” She extended her hand which he took and raised to his lips and kissed. She laughed.
“Jim, please. What a pleasure to see you, Madeleine.”
“Thank you for inviting me. I wasn’t sure I’d be welcomed after how I’d disappeared last time I was here.”
He gestured for her to climb the steps to the veranda. He followed alongside. “What can I say, my dear? My family is quite beyond the pale. They’re noisy, rude and uncivilized, and you, quite obviously, aren’t. I’m not surprised you turned and fled.”
He offered her a seat, and she sat down. “You’re very kind, but it wasn’t your family who was rude, it was me. Please accept my apologies. I didn’t intend to be, but I found it… difficult to be here.”
“Yes, I hope you don’t mind, but Gabe told me a little of your past.”
She shrugged. The thought made her feel uncomfortable, but it would also make it easier if she didn’t have to explain everything. “Oh, no. That’s fine.”
“Well, I’m sorry. Bereavements are always difficult, never easy. And it’s up to those remaining to find a balance between grieving and remembering our loved ones, and moving on.”
She swallowed. She’d expected superficial commiserations but had got something deep and moving instead. But he was Gabe’s and Jonny’s father after all. “Yes. I think that will take me some time to work out.”
“There’s no hurry. In my experience, it’s best to take your time, don’t rush it.”
She gave a wobbly smile. “Thank you for your understanding.”
He grunted. “At my age, it’d be a poor show if I hadn’t learned a thing or two.” He raised his eyebrows. “Although if you listen to my children, you’d think I didn’t know a damn thing. Anyway,” he said, gripping the sides of the chair. “Would you care for some refreshment? I do believe Rachel left some iced tea in the fridge. And no doubt other delectable and healthy things to lure me away from the cream buns for which I have a definite weakness.”
“Yes, that would be lovely.” She’d heard all about Rachel and her culinary expertise. These days you couldn’t turn on the TV without seeing her at work inside the Belendroit kitchen.
“Follow me inside, Madeleine. And may I say what a pretty name you have. I wanted to call one of my daughters Madeleine but my wife had an unpopular aunty with the same name.” He shook her head. “There was no moving her.”
“It would seem aunties have a lot to answer for. Apparently, my mother had an aunt Madeleine who she liked, hence my name. That’s what my uncle told me, anyway.”
She sat down where Jim indicated, while he peered into the fridge. “Aha!” He withdrew a pitcher of iced tea, complete with fresh mint leaves on top. He set it on the bench while he retrieved a glass. “I have to say, having Rachel back in Akaroa is wonderful. Apart from being a thoroughly lovely woman, she bakes divinely.”
“But Amber bakes too, doesn’t she?”
Jim peered at her over his glasses. “She does bake, that much is true. Have you tasted anything she’s made?”
Maddy shook her head. “No, I think she’s always offered me food she hasn’t baked.”
“She must like you, then,” Jim said dryly. “You see, Lizzi and Rachel take after their mother, and are both fantastic cooks, whereas Amber, bless her, takes after me. Our passions lie in other directions. Mine in the theatre, and Amber in her art. Unfortunately Amber hasn’t yet quite come to terms with the fact that she can’t do everything. She’s a dreamer, you see.”
“She may be a dreamer, but I think she’s wonderful.” Maddy felt protective of Amber, feeling that Jim shouldn’t be quite so critical about his youngest daughter’s skills, or lack of them. “She was the first person to befriend me when I arrived in Akaroa. She gave me food, coffee, found me a job and a place to stay, all within half an hour. I don’t know where I’d be without Amber.”
Jim smiled. “Nor me. She’s my baby, and I adore her. Even if she can’t cook,” he added, passing a plate heaped with biscuits to Maddy. “Now, take a seat while I put this coffee machine on which Rachel insisted on installing. I have a feeling she prepared the iced tea for you; coffee is more my thing. I’m not sure I’ve got the hang of this machine yet.”
Maddy spent a pleasant hour talking with Jim about anything and everything, including the possibility of doing some archaeology on his land. He seemed surprisingly amenable, with no mention of any ill-feeling toward the university. It seemed Jim could forget an argument as easily as he created one.
It wasn’t until she rose to leave that Jim put his hand on her shoulder and spoke the words which made her heart stop.
“I do know.”
She frowned, immediately thinking the worse. But how could he? “Sorry?”
“I do know your secret. I thought you might say something, but as you haven’t, I will. I know you were Jonny’s fiancée.”
She gave a small cry, a blend of dismay and embarrassment. “But…”
“How? Because, my dear, your name kept cropping up. MacGillivray. A Dr. M. MacGillivray was mentioned in Jonny’s will, which I was the only member of the family to see. Dr. MacGillivray’s address was care of the archaeology department in Amsterdam. Neither Gabe nor Amber mentioned your surname when they spoke of you but, when the archaeology department in Christchurch contacted me, they mentioned a Dr. Madeleine MacGillivray and I did a bit of research. I found your old staff photo still online at Amsterdam University. And when I saw you the other day, the pieces of the puzzle slotted together. He sent you here, didn’t he?”
She felt sick with shock, and nodded, mutely. Of all the ways that she’d imagined revealing t
his information, this hadn’t come close to being one of the possibilities.
“I’d like to hear as much about Jonny as I can. We missed the last few years of his life, and it hurts still. But you don’t have to say anything until you are ready. All I ask is that you don’t disappear without coming to me, at least to me, and talking to me about him.”
She nodded. “Of course. I was going to, except not yet. I promised Jonny I wouldn’t say anything for six months.”
“Ah…he put a time limit on it, did he? A period when you could get to know us, and us you, without the added complication of his presence.” He was silent as he thought. “His last gift, I think.”
“I think so. I think he wanted me to fill you in on his life; he left me some things to give to you and Gabe, but made me promise I’d wait six months.”
Jim nodded. “A gift for everyone, maybe.”
She frowned, not quite understanding his meaning but he moved on swiftly. “A promise to Jonny or no, I think maybe it would be kind to tell Gabe sooner rather than later. Before he falls completely in love with you.”
She licked her lips of her suddenly dry mouth. “What?” But even as she said the word, she knew he was right. It was more than a friendship, a lot more. She just hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that fact.
“Promise or no promise, Gabe deserves to know the truth,” repeated Jim.
“Yes, of course he does. Everyone does,” she said, trying to widen the focus away from Gabe. “But, if you wouldn’t mind, I’ll tell Gabe in my own time.”
“Of course. But don’t leave it too late.”
“I won’t. I’ll tell him as soon as he returns.”
“Good.”
They walked together in silence down the steps, both lost in their thoughts, of the past and the present, and maybe the future.
“Goodbye then. And I look forward to talking more when you’re ready,” he said.
“I’ll call you. Thanks for everything.”
Jim waved and turned away quickly. Maddy suddenly realized how much her and Jonny’s actions were impacting not just on them, but the whole family. If Jonny were alive now, would he want her to continue this charade? No, she thought, as she walked toward the beach path. No, he wouldn’t. Jonny might have let his own needs drive his life, he might have been strong-willed and unforgiving sometimes, but he’d never been unkind; and he’d never lost his deep love for his family, no matter what they might think. She stepped off the lawn and onto the beach path. And it was up to her to show the Connelly family how much Jonny had loved them all. Starting with Gabe.
Maddy waved goodbye to the locum and stepped out of Gabe’s house into the sunshine. It seemed far longer than a month since Gabe had left. Partly because she’d done such a lot, met so many people, and completely immersed herself in her new life, and partly because she’d missed him.
Since he’d been gone, she’d found herself looking around when someone called her name, a smile forming on her lips, as she sought his face. But of course, it hadn’t been him. It had been the locum, or one of the archaeology team she’d been working with since they’d begun work at Belendroit. Gabe hadn’t exaggerated how keen the archaeology department was to work on the Belendroit estate, or to have her involved.
And when Jim Connelly had given the green light, the university had wasted no time in getting to work. Which meant she and Flo hadn’t had a minute to themselves as they prepared the house to accommodate the archaeology team, because much to Flo’s surprise, the university had approved Maddy’s plan—the team was to stay at Flo’s place for the duration of the dig.
Between the house, the archaeology, the university, and keeping up with Flo’s and Gabe’s accounts—which Maddy was determined to do—her days were full, which was fine by her.
But at night when all the people and busyness had faded from her life, and all she could hear was the muted splash of the sea on the beach outside her window, thoughts of Gabe, and of Jonny, filled her mind.
Jonny had forced her into this situation, and she’d accepted the promise and gone ahead, knowing that he intended to heal his relationship with Gabe. But why six months? And why incognito? She didn’t know. But the experience had proved to be very different to how she’d imagined it to be. She’d thought she’d go through the motions, exist on a superficial day-to-day level. But the reality had been that she’d been forced to participate, to make connections with people and things, which once lodged, refused to shift. She visualized herself as Gulliver tied to the earth with myriad thin strands which she’d awoken one morning to discover. It had happened slowly, imperceptibly, without her noticing. Otherwise she might have bolted. She just hoped she’d be strong enough at the end of her allotted time to uproot the invisible ties—that they weren’t rammed in too deep.
And one of the strongest ties was to Amber, who she was on her way to meet. They’d fallen into a habit of meeting every day after she’d finished work. They’d hang out on the beachfront, share a chat, and some café leftovers. Sometimes Maddy would go back to Amber’s small cottage and view her latest artwork. It was often hard to know how to comment because Maddy wasn’t particularly arty, and Amber’s work wasn’t particularly accessible. But, as Maddy approached their usual picnic spot, she didn’t see the familiar sight of Amber’s red hair and bright clothes. Instead, there was a man looking out to sea, with his back to her. She stopped walking abruptly, her heart skipping a beat. It couldn’t be. Surely she’d have heard if he was back? Then he turned around, and a warm smile welcomed her.
“Gabe!” she mouthed. No sound emerged. It was as if all the air had left her body. There was a gap of a dozen steps between them, which he made no effort to bridge. It was up to her. She walked toward him on legs which seemed to have forgotten how to function.
“Gabe,” she said again, stronger now.
His eyes roamed over her. “Maddy! It’s good to see you.”
She nodded. “And you.”
“Amber told me you’d be here,” he said.
“Ah, I wondered why she was a no-show.”
“Fancy a walk?” Gabe asked.
For several seconds neither of them spoke. There seemed too much to say.
“Sure.”
He gestured toward the beach path, and they fell into step.
“How have you been?” he asked.
“Fine. Keeping busy.”
They both grinned and looked away at the same time, reverting to the conversation of strangers while their glances and tone of their voices revealed the opposite.
“And how about you? Was it hard in PNG?”
“No more than usual. We’ve been working to improve access to treatment for TB. It’s rife over there. I was working with local doctors out in the community. It’s humbling stuff.” He stopped walking and turned to her. “What’s happened here?” He cocked his head to one side in a pretense at studying her features. “You look different somehow.”
“Do I?” She shrugged, but she knew deep down that Gabe was right.
“Yes. You’ve caught the sun on your face; your eyes look brighter. You look happy. If that’s what happens every time I go away, maybe I shouldn’t see you again?”
It was meant to be light-hearted, but Maddy could feel the seriousness underlying the question. Time to begin to tell the truth. She shook her head. “I’ve caught the sun because I’ve been working outside on the dig. And my eyes? Well, if they’re bright it’s not because you went away, it’s because you’re back. I guess I’m happy to see you again.”
A self-satisfied smile spread across Gabe’s face. “Good. Then maybe we should see a bit more of each other now I’m back. What do you think?”
“I think…”
“Yes?”
“I think we need to talk first.”
“That sounds serious.”
“Yes, it is.”
“We can talk now if you like.”
“I’d prefer to talk at Belendroit.”
“You want to tal
k to me at Belendroit? Why?”
“Because then I can also show you around. Would you like to come to dinner?” She grinned at the look of disbelief on his face.
He frowned. “Let’s get this straight. You’re inviting me to my family home for dinner?”
“That’s about the sum of it.”
They stopped outside the Backpackers. The drone of a vacuum cleaner drifted out to them through the open windows. “We had a load of people leave today.” She paused. “Which means cleaning. I’d best go and help Flo.”
“Sure. So I’ll see you later, then?”
“Uh-huh. Around seven?”
“Sounds good.”
She resisted the urge to touch him and walked quickly into the house and shut the door, her heart beating fast and her face flushed. Flo looked up and stood with hands on hips and a big grin on her face. “I take it you’ve seen Gabe, then?”
Maddy shrugged but couldn’t contain a smile. “I don’t know what makes you think that.”
Flo rolled her eyes. “Because you look like someone’s lit a flame inside you. That’s all.” Before Maddy could respond Flo offered her the vacuum cleaner. “You may as well use some of that pent-up energy here.”
Maddy took the vacuum hose from her and Flo walked off laughing. “You’ve so got it bad!”
* * *
As it happened, Jim had invited Maddy to dinner at Belendroit that evening to meet Rachel, who’d been in the US with her family exploring sports scholarships for her daughter. They’d returned a week before, and Maddy knew that the Connelly family considered the only thing better than a family gathering was a big family gathering.
As Maddy emerged from the path onto the beach, she turned at the sound of voices. At the end of the jetty were two girls. The older one was trying to teach the younger one to fish. She paused to greet them, but neither turned around.