Heart of a Liar

by Ella Miles

  I walk out the door of the exam room and then out the door of the clinic. I walk across the pavement until I get to my Jeep that I bought just yesterday. I was living in Hawaii for the last two years and didn’t bother moving anything other than one small suitcase here. I just sold it all and started over with all new things here. I need a fresh start, no matter what happens between Ivy and me.

  I open the door to the Jeep and then place the puppy in the front seat next to me.

  “Let’s go home, pup,” I say.

  I climb in and roll the window down so that the puppy can stick her head out of it. She does for a second as I begin driving, but I think the wind is too much for her, so I roll the window back up.

  “Ivy will come around. You already did a good job of helping me with that,” I say to the puppy as I drive.

  I pet her head. “She’ll come around—if not to me, then to you. You’re too adorable for her not to fall for you.”

  I take a sharp turn to head toward the apartment I am renting for the time being when I hear the puppy make a weird sound.

  “You all right?” I ask the puppy like she is going to respond.

  The smell confirms that she is not all right. I take a deep breath before I look over, trying to prepare myself for what I know I’m going to see. When I look over, I see a puddle of puke lying on the leather seat of my Jeep. I scoop the puppy up and put her on my lap to keep her from stepping in it.

  “So, you get car sick, huh?” I shake my head. “I guess we are learning something about each other after all. No biggie. In the future, I will know that you get car sick, and I’ll drive slower or bring a towel.”

  See? I can handle this puppy stuff, I think to myself. Ivy is wrong. I’ll have this puppy stuff figured out in no time.

  I stop the Jeep in front of my apartment and then contemplate what I should do next. Every second that passes, the puke is sinking further and further into the leather. But I don’t have anything to clean it up with.

  I look down at my shirt. It’s either the shirt or the brand-new car. I take my shirt off and wipe up the puke. To my surprise, it comes up easily. Other than some Febreze and sanitizer, I don’t think it will need much else.

  I toss my shirt with the puke into a trash bin before carrying the puppy up into my apartment that is basically a bed, a couch, and a TV. I place the puppy on the ground.

  “Go explore,” I tell the puppy.

  But she doesn’t move. She just sits at my feet.

  “Go on,” I say, pushing on it to go run around and let me just be by myself for a second.

  I automatically walk to the fridge before I remember that I haven’t even had time to go grocery shopping yet. I don’t have any beer to soothe my wounds right now. The puppy follows me as I walk from the kitchen to the living room. I take a seat on the couch and watch as the puppy tries to jump up onto the couch, but her little legs aren’t quite long enough to propel her up onto the couch. So, I bend down and lift her up onto the couch next to me. She doesn’t stay there long though. Instead, she climbs up onto my lap, and then she immediately lies down and closes her eyes.

  “At least you like me, puppy,” I say as I lift my legs up onto the couch so that I can take a nap as well. “I need to think of a name for you, puppy. If only Ivy could see you now, she would realize how much you do like me.”

  The puppy nestles into my stomach.

  “Let me see. How about Molly?”

  The puppy doesn’t react. I shake my head. I’m talking to a dog. She doesn’t care what she is called as long as I give her food and a bed to sleep in.

  “Nah. How about Lucy?”

  The puppy again doesn’t react.

  “No, I don’t like it either.” I pet her long fur, imagining her lying on me like this when she is about sixty pounds instead of the fifteen pounds she is now.

  “You know, when you get older, you aren’t going to be able to do this, right?”

  She snores.

  I laugh.

  Being a dog parent is going to be easy, I think, if she is this adorable all the time. I just need to come up with a name.

  “Bailey.”

  Nothing.

  “Sadie.”

  Nothing.

  “Sophie.”

  The puppy lifts her head and licks my face.

  “You like that—Sophie?” I ask.

  I swear, the puppy is smiling at me.

  “Okay. Sophie, it is.”

  The puppy settles back on my stomach, and I close my eyes and allow myself to drift off to sleep.

  I don’t know how much later it is when I hear a high-pitched bark. I jump up from the couch, looking for Sophie. I find her peeing on the carpet in the living room a few feet from me.

  I sigh as I go to the bathroom to see what I have to clean it up.

  This might not be so easy after all.

  5

  Ivy

  I slam the door to my Jeep and then walk around to the back to gather my bags of things. I’m frustrated and angry, and I take it all out on the door as I slam it shut. I throw the back door open and sling bag after bag over my shoulder until all six bags are slung over my shoulder. I then slam the back door shut and start walking up the driveway to my house.

  As I walk, at least half of the bags begin falling off my shoulders. I try to grab them to keep them from falling, but they don’t stay up.

  “Why the fuck do I have so many bags?” I curse loudly to myself, and then I look around at my neighbors’ houses, afraid that they might have heard me even though I don’t think it is possible.

  I live in a very nice area. So nice that I doubt any of my neighbors have ever cursed in their lives. If they heard me, I’m sure I’d be kicked out of the neighborhood. But, thankfully, our houses are too far apart for them to have heard me. At least, I hope so.

  Still, instead of yelling, I whisper the rest of the string of curse words that continue to fall from my lips as I try to carry the bags inside my house. I only make it halfway from my car to the front porch when I just can’t take it anymore. I let the bags fall to the ground and just leave them there. There are a few medical supplies, a bag or two of my clothes that I have been meaning to bring home from the clinic and finally did, and a few bags with dog and cat toys for my pets. Nothing important in any of the bags. Nothing I need tonight.

  And I no longer care what the neighbors think of me. Let them kick me out of the neighborhood. Honestly, now that Luca knows where I live, I’m not sure I want to live in Albuquerque anymore anyway.

  I walk up to my door and put the key into the lock before I realize the door has been unlocked the entire time I was gone.

  Shit.

  “Please let all my pets still be inside,” I plead before I push the door open.

  I smile when I get attacked by my three dogs, happy to see me home and showing it by jumping on me, slobbering, barking, and wagging their tails. I have a pit bull mix, who is full of energy; a Great Dane, who is scared of everything; and a Chihuahua, who rules them all.

  “Hey, guys. You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

  I pet each of them and give them the attention they have been desperate for all evening. I don’t leave them alone very often. I usually have a dog walker stop by, or I bring them into the clinic with me.

  “You’re all here. Now, how about your kitty friends?”

  I start walking into the house with the group of dogs following me, and I call for the two cats. I spot one on top of my cabinets in the kitchen, and the other is under my bed. I take a deep breath when I find them. I won’t be searching the neighborhood for any lost pets tonight.

  “You guys hungry?” I ask to the dogs mainly.

  My cats couldn’t care less. They can find their own food via mice and so on if they really wanted to.

  Zoey, my Great Dane, starts drooling immediately at the mention of food. Nala, my pit bull mix, starts turning circles. And Duke, my Chihuahua, starts jumping up and down.

  I
go over to the pantry that is filled mainly with dog and cat food and feed them. I then walk over to the counter in my kitchen where my fish tank sits and feed the fish. Then, I walk to one of the spare bedrooms where Jill, my turtle, lives.

  “Hey, Jilly Bean, you hungry for dinner?” I gather her food to pour into her tank, and then I freeze. “Jill?”

  She’s not in her tank.

  Shit.

  I look all over the floor of the bedroom but don’t see any sign of her anywhere. I walk back to the hallway where all the dogs are sitting, staring at me, and even the cats have come by to see what all the yelling is about.

  “Who let the turtle out of her cage again?” I ask like they are going to answer me.

  They all look back at me with guilty looks on their faces. I sigh. Even though I think animals can understand humans for the most part, they can’t use words to talk back. So, asking them is really not that helpful. I spend a few minutes searching the house for the turtle but can’t find her.

  “Okay, Jill, come out when you’re ready!” I shout like she is listening.

  Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time she has gone missing. She turned up about a week later last time.

  Who knew a turtle would be the hardest animal to keep alive out of all the animals I have?

  I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge. I have plenty of food, and most of it is even healthy. But I don’t want any of that tonight. I open the freezer and pull out a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and then I pull a bottle of wine off my wine rack. I grab a glass and carry everything to my couch.

  I pour a large glass of wine and then start eating the ice cream while my animals curl up in various places around me. Some are begging for ice cream while others know better and just lie down.

  “Today has been a horrible day. I no longer have a boyfriend, and my ex-boyfriend, Luca—you remember him, Duke and Nala.”

  They perk up when I say their names.

  “Luca came to the clinic today. I don’t know why. I don’t know what he thinks he will accomplish by coming back into my life. He lied to me. Not just once, but over and over and over again. Our whole relationship was one big lie.”

  Nala licks my hand.

  “You’re right. He was a nice guy to you. Even though he hates animals, he pretended like he didn’t. I don’t hate him. I just hate that he came back into my life and is trying to fuck everything up. I should just give up on men altogether. That’s what I’ve decided. I’m happy without a man in my life.”

  Nala nudges my hand again.

  “I know,” I say, sadly looking down at her. “I know. It hurts. I still love him, but I can’t be with him. He hurt me so much. After him, it took me over a year to even go out on a date with another man. It took me longer than that to trust another man.”

  Nala growls.

  “Okay, you’re right. I don’t trust men. I might never again, and it’s because of him. Maybe this is my push to learn to try to trust men again. I have to give it a chance. I have to learn to trust men again.”

  I pull out my phone, and I text Skye.

  Me: I need you to find me a date.

  Skye: When?

  Me: As soon as possible.

  Before I let Luca slip back into my life, I think.

  Skye: One boyfriend coming right up. ;)

  I smile. Thank God for Skye. At least I can trust her.

  6

  Luca

  I step into the hot shower as Sophie sits outside, pawing at the door, wanting to get in with me. She starts barking in her high-pitched bark that was once adorable. After a night of practically zero sleep because of that high-pitched barking and accidents in the house, I no longer find the bark adorable. I take a deep breath, trying my best not to take my frustration out on her.

  Sophie decides that barking isn’t getting her anywhere, so she lies down on the floor mat in front of the shower. I exhale deeply as I let the water run over my head. I can finally relax. I don’t have to worry about her for at least a couple of minutes while I shower.

  Instead, I can think about what has really been driving me crazy all night.

  Ivy.

  I came here because I want her, but now that I’m here, I have no idea how to win her back. How to tell her the truth or even if I should. Do I even deserve to have her in my life after how badly I treated her? If I loved her, should I bring her back into my life, knowing how much it could hurt her?

  I don’t have the answers.

  I don’t know if I will ever have the right answers.

  I just have to make a decision.

  But not right now. Now, I just want to think about Ivy.

  My hand automatically goes to my cock, just thinking about her. I ache for her. And I can’t believe that she didn’t remember everything from our first date. At the very least, I can’t believe she didn’t remember what had happened after we swam in the ocean. How that first kiss had felt. It was the sweetest yet dirtiest kiss I’d ever had. One second, it was sweet. The next, we both knew it was going to lead to dirty things that we shouldn’t feel after knowing each other for only a couple of hours.

  And, as good as the first kiss was, the second was even better.

  Three Years Earlier: Second Date

  I knock on the door of Ivy’s apartment that she says she shares with her best friend, Skye.

  The door flings open, and a woman is standing in the doorway. She doesn’t look happy to see me. She has rainbow-colored hair and a pierced nose, and tattoos cover her arms. But none of that is what is shocking to me. What’s shocking is that she is standing in the doorway in nothing but a bra and underwear. Her large boobs are spilling out of the bra, and, shit, the bra is see-through.

  I keep my eyes focused on her face even though that is hard as well because her eyes are so focused on me. I’m afraid she is trying to break me with just her look.

  “You must be Skye. I’m Luca. I’m here for Ivy.”

  Skye doesn’t say anything. She just stares at me like she is waiting for me to hit on her.

  I stand frozen in the doorway with a smile on my face. I don’t know what else to do.

  Suddenly, Skye’s expression changes to something that resembles a smile but isn’t actually a smile.

  I cock my head to the side, and my eyes grow large as I wait for her to say something.

  “I guess you pass. You can come in. I’ll let Ivy know you are here,” Skye says.

  I follow Skye inside the small apartment. “Wait, that was a test?”

  Skye shrugs. “Ivy has been hurt too many times. I don’t want her getting hurt anymore.”

  I swallow down the lump in my throat. If I don’t want to hurt Ivy, I should just turn around and walk out the door. Because, if my dating history tells me anything, it’s that I hurt women. Over and over. Even when I’m trying to protect them, I hurt them.

  But there is something about Ivy that I can’t stop thinking about. I have to have her. I have to see. Because maybe she’ll be the one I’ve been looking for.

  “Are you going to put some clothes on now?” I can’t help but ask Skye.

  She laughs. “Why would I do that? I want to torture you as long as I can. You need to know that I will personally come after you if you hurt my friend.”

  I nod. “Understood.”

  “Good.” She walks over to the hallway that I assume leads to their bedrooms. “Ivy! Get your ass out here!” she shouts down the hallway.

  Ivy comes out, and my eyes grow wide at the sight of her. She’s in blue jean shorts and a white lace bra that her dark nipples strain against. Other than her nipples being completely visible, she’s not wearing anything different than she was the last time I saw her, but somehow, this seems more intimate than seeing her in a bathing suit. Her tightly curled hair is loose instead of up in a ponytail. She has spent time on her makeup. And she is wearing lingerie that I know is for me.

  It’s hard to tell if she blushes or not because of how dark her skin i
s, but I can tell from her eyes that she is both embarrassed and proud. Most likely embarrassed that she came out in this state of dress when she didn’t realize I was here yet proud of her body that is getting more turned on, the longer we stare at each other.

  “Is this another test?” I whisper to Skye, who is standing next to me.

  She laughs. “Everything is a test. But I think, so far, you are passing with flying colors.”

  I grin as I continue to stare at Ivy. “If you don’t go put a shirt on, I’m not going to be able to control myself.”

  Ivy bites her lip. “I’m not sure I want you to control yourself.”

  My eyes widen when she says that.

  Is this the same woman from the beach? The same woman who only let me kiss her once and then pushed me away, wanting to take things slow?

  Skye clears her throat. “I don’t care if you guys go out to dinner or just stay in and fuck, but I don’t want to hear you guys if you stay in. So, play your music loudly or go somewhere else.”

  Ivy and I both exhale at the same time.

  “We’ll leave,” we say in unison.

  Skye just shakes her head as she walks over to Ivy. She grabs Ivy’s arm and then starts pulling her down the hallway toward her bedroom. I assume she’s going to tell Ivy to finish getting dressed. I close my eyes when they both disappear around the corner and try to imagine anything other than Ivy.

  I’m not going to fuck her tonight. She’s too good of a girl to fuck, and I am not that kind of guy. Well, I’m not that kind of guy when I want to see the woman again after the first date. And I want to see Ivy again. No, I need to see her again and again and again.

  Ivy is the woman I’ve been looking for. I know it. She’s the one. And I’m not going to fuck it up by jumping her bones as soon as I get her alone. It’s not going to happen.

  I try to force my brain to think about food, about surfing, about the gross man I saw picking his nose in the car next to me on the way over here. Just when it starts working, I hear Skye clear her throat.