Please Say I Do

by Karen Toller Whittenburg

  She eyed him with tightly pursed lips. “I don’t know what I was thinking. You obviously are a man among men and this won’t bother you one teeny, tiny bit.” Grabbing the door, she jerked it open and then closed it just as quickly with a shove. “He’s out there!”

  “Mr. Aloha? Let me see.”

  “Jack.” She splayed herself against the door, holding it closed, even though it was under no threat of being opened. “At least, I think it’s Jack. He’s built like a football player and he’s wearing a football jersey.”

  “Blue or green?”

  “What difference does it make?”

  “Makes a lot of difference if you’re on the opposing team. Let me take a look.”

  “No.” She kept him back with a narrowed gaze. “If he realizes we’re in here, you’ll just invite him in, and frankly, this is not a good time.”

  “Speak for yourself. I’m having a heck of a good time.”

  “You’ve been in the jungle too long, Rik.”

  “Several people have said that to me lately. It doesn’t offend me, you understand, but it does sound a trifle condescending. Sort of like a polite way of calling me an ape.”

  “There isn’t a polite way to call you an ape. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I was merely saying that your idea of a good time needs a serious overhaul.”

  “Isn’t that just like a woman? You’ve known me less than twenty-four hours and already you’re trying to change my spark plugs.”

  “Men.” She rolled her eyes and made a hundredand-eighty-degree turn, cracking the door once again. Rik tilted his head to the side and glanced over her head “He’s at our door,” she said in a sinking voice. “You’d better go out there and stop him.”

  “Psst! Jack!” Leaning over her, Rik sent a loud whisper through the door crack before she slammed it closed, almost taking off the tip of his nose.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded, wide-eyed.

  “You said to stop him.”

  “I said go out there and stop him. Not invite him in here.”

  “He’s a nice guy. I’ll vouch for him.”

  “Sh! Will you keep your voice down? I’d prefer to meet the bridegroom under more positive circumstances.”

  “Oh, I’m pretty sure he’ll enjoy meeting you under any circumstances.”

  “This is not a good time for me to make Mr. Keaton’s acquaintance,” she said tightly.

  “Why not? He has a sense of humor.”

  “Considering he’s been living with you for the past several years, that isn’t reassuring. I’m not taking any chances on him confusing me with the ex-ah-tic dancer you’ve hired for his bachelor party. I have to protect my business and professional reputation, Rik. I can’t have Jack Keaton or Dan Brewster or anyone else thinking I’m some sex kitten, sharpening my claws on your bedpost while I wait for Friday night.”

  The image was a tad overpowering, coming from a woman who had, only an hour ago, responded to his kiss with more primness than purring. “Sex kitten?” he said with a slow grin. “You?”

  It was the wrong thing to say. The glint of annoyance in her eyes crystallized into a challenge as she whipped off the pewter-rimmed glasses and stared him down. At least she tried. He knew she couldn’t have him in focus at this range and he was pretty certain she preferred it that way. But for a moment, watching her defenses rise like a trout to the fly, he could only admire her selfprotective technique. Any man in his right mind would kiss her about now. Before she opened her mouth and gave him what for.

  “Mr. Austin,” she said crisply. “Regardless of your opinion, there are men who find me quite attractive.”

  “Wait a minute. There’s a broad jump between saying a woman is attractive and referring to her as a sex kitten. I never said you weren’t attractive.”

  She clasped her hands at her breast. “I will carry your so gallant compliment with me to my dying day.” The hands returned to guard the door. “In the meantime, please keep in mind that I am a professional. I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to bring off Saturday’s wedding with style and good grace. Babs Brewster hired me to ensure that everything goes according to her plan. She won’t, and I can’t, tolerate any tasteless practical jokes in connection with this wedding.”

  Rik felt the blood surge to his face. She couldn’t know about that. He’d only just gotten off the phone after making the arrangements with Patty’s Party-Grams and Lynn. He wasn’t even sure he would follow through with the idea of dropping a baby on Jack’s doorstep. So how could—

  “Whoever you’ve hired as entertainment for Friday night—and I have no interest in knowing her name, nationality or vital statistics—better keep a low profile. Because I’m on the job and I’ll be keeping an eye out for trouble.”

  The tap on the door behind her came so abruptly it startled her and she jumped up and forward…right into Rik’s arms. He staggered a little with the unexpectedness of having his arms full of female, but he recovered as Jack opened the stairwell door and looked in.

  “Excuse me’ Jack said. “I was looking for a ninetypound weakling. Guy named Austin. You two haven’t seen him, have you?”

  Hands locked behind his neck, Hallie stared dismally at Rik, then at Jack, and whispered a sickly “No.”

  “See what happens when you keep an eye out for trouble?” Rik told her. “It walks right up and knocks on your door.” Lowering her carefully to the floor, he couldn’t help thinking Jack usually got the better of him in moments like this. “Great timing, Jack,” he said. “But wrong stairwell. The ninety-pounder is in the fire escape at the other end of the hall.”

  Jack’s knock-’em-dead smile turned full strength on Hallie. “Hello,” he said. “I’m Jack Keaton. And you must be the entertainment—”

  “Committee,” Rik inserted smoothly.

  “Consultant,” Jack finished with a you-didn’t-reallythink-I-was-going-to-say-what-you-thought-I-was-going-to-say-did-you look. “I’m so happy to meet you. Rik was telling me over the phone how extraordinarily talented you are.”

  Hallie’s shoulders went back and her chin came up so fast the top of her head nearly whacked Rik in the chest “Really?” Her laugh was two seconds’ worth of pure nerve-racking beauty. “Trust me, he doesn’t even know the extent of my talents. I can be very entertaining. Depends on how much I like you.”

  Jack blinked, and his wary eyes sought Rik’s with a question, which Rik couldn’t have answered even if his speech mechanism hadn’t been held hostage by surprise. The best he could manage was a don’t-ask-me shrug.

  “Well,” Hallie continued in a satisfied, tight little voice, “now that we’re all acquainted, let’s go to your room, Rik. I think it’s time we took a few measurements.”

  Keaton’s gulp was audible in the stairwell and Rik only wished he could swallow his own astonishment. Whatever Hallie was doing, he wished she wouldn’t. Although, on the other hand, this was the first time since the wedding announcement he’d seen anything more than a despondent resignation in Jack’s eyes. Panic wasn’t exactly the substitute he’d hoped for, but it was a start.

  If Jack could only meet another woman, someone who could ignite his interest and stake a real claim on his heart, he’d have to give up the idea of marrying Stephanie. Hallie wasn’t the woman, of course. She’d drive Jack nuts in a matter of minutes. But she had the advantage of being close and of being the only person in recent memory to get any reaction out of Jack at all. He didn’t like the look in her eye, but he’d be damned if he was going into that bedroom with her alone. Whatever she had in mind, he figured he could use a witness. “Sure,” he said. “Let’s all go to my room. I have the key right here in my pocket.”

  “You know,” Jack said, “I’d really love to join you, but I just remembered I signed up for a tennis lesson.”

  “There’s no charge for no-shows,” Hallie told him as if she knew. “And Rik is going to need assistance. Aren’t you, Rik?”

  He wasn’t going to
argue with that “I am, Jack.” Signaling his best friend with every subtle nuance at his command, he willed Keaton to hang tight and stay close. “I really am.”

  Jack clapped his hand on Rik’s shoulder and squeezed. “Sooner or later, old pal, a man has to fly solo. You know what they say…two’s company.”

  “Oh, but Mr. Keaton,” Hallie said brightly. “We need you to make a foursome. Me and you, Mr. Austin and Mr. Aloha.”

  This time, Rik was the one who gulped. He smiled, desperately at Jack. “Would you excuse us for a moment, please?”

  Jack nodded and was in the hall before the last echo of the request faded down the stairwell. Rik frowned suspiciously into Hallie’s audaciously innocent expression. “What in hell are you trying to do? I thought you were worried about your reputation? I thought you didn’t want anyone to confuse you with a, quote, ‘sex kitten,’ unquote?”

  “Me?” Her eyelids batted up and down, up and down. “You don’t honestly believe anyone could confuse me with a quote, ‘sex kitten,’ unquote?”

  He wouldn’t have believed his remark could have struck such a nerve with her, but she was obviously very protective of her image. He just couldn’t figure out what image she was trying to protect…or at what cost. “I thought you had better sense.”

  She arched that saucy little eyebrow at him and his heart took a swan dive. “I’m only trying to make sure everyone, including Jack, gets his just deserts.” She patted his arm. “It’s a tough job, but that’s what I get paid the big bucks to deliver. You might want to keep a close eye on your spark plugs, though. I yield a mean torque wrench.” With a rebellious flip of her hair, she followed Jack into the hall.

  Feeling a tad on the vulnerable side and a whole lot intrigued, Rik went after her.

  Chapter Seven

  Hallie approached the door of the hotel room, wishing she had never agreed to cross the threshold of this double-unlucky thirteenth room on the thirteenth floor in the first place. Technically, of course, she hadn’t agreed. Rik had carried her over the threshold, dead drunk. Since then, she’d lost her clothes, gotten a new wardrobe, been kissed senseless—actually, she’d been halfsenseless even before he kissed her—and been left with a phone that either didn’t work or wouldn’t stop ringing. Her clients thought she was a) not on the job, b) sleeping on the job or c) dancing on the job. But until a few minutes ago, when she had willfully, foolishly let Rik goad her into a silly charade of innuendo with Jack Keaton, her butt had been nicely covered. Babs Brewster might have her suspicions, but she couldn’t prove it had been Hallie’s derriere slung over Rik’s shoulder last night.

  But now, Jack could be forgiven for assuming she was the dancer hired for Friday night’s entertainment and Hallie had no one to blame except herself. Well, Rik. But she couldn’t just explain to him her aversion to being thought asexual. Hadn’t she already paid her dues of frustration and indignities during her marriage to Brad? She’d be damned if she’d let any man say to her in that amused and astounded tone of voice, “Sex kitten? You?”

  Rik had had no business insinuating that he had Friday night’s entertainment in his room. He should have known it wouldn’t be hard for Jack to locate exactly which room he was in. So this was all Rik’s fault and it made her furious that she couldn’t come right out and lay the blame on his doorstep.

  “When is Mr. Aloha supposed to show up?” Rik asked as he stepped forward, pulling the key card from his pocket.

  “He’s here now.” Hallie replied, oddly cheered by the thought.

  “Here?” Rik glanced down the hall. He and Jack exchanged that peculiar, conspiratorial and very male look that men did when women were around. As if they had to humor her or something. “Is Mr. Aloha your invisible friend, Hallie?”

  “Come on,” Jack urged. “You can tell us.”

  “I’ll just let you judge for yourselves.” She smiled with sincere patience, knowing that in this instance, at least, she was in the clear. She hadn’t been the one who invited Jack along on this outing and she had done her best to warn Rik.

  “So how long before we can see him?” Rik asked.

  “All you have to do is unlock the door and keep your eyes open.”

  “You mean he’s inside?” Rik’s teasing faded. “You let a stranger into our hotel room?”

  “Our hotel room?” Jack repeated, his look of surprise swinging from Jack to Hallie and back again. “Are you two sharing this room?”

  “Technically, yes,” Rik said at the same moment Hallie uttered a definite “No!”

  She arched a thunderous brow at Rik. “No,” she said firmly, knowing Jack would only pretend to believe her. Men. If there was any conceivable way to put a situation into a sexual context, they’d find it. How would she ever be able to talk her way out of this? “We are sharing this room,” she told Jack. “The hotel computers went down yesterday and put us together by mistake. They have yet to correct this mistake. But it will be corrected. So technically, yes, Rik and I are sharing this room, but don’t make the mistake of thinking we are sharing anything else.”

  Jack processed that information with a sympathetic nod, but she saw the way his gaze sneaked to Rik and the look they exchanged, like two boys huddled under a blanket with their first Playboy. With a hearty sigh, Hallie grabbed the key card from Rik and inserted it into the lock. “I’m going in,” she said.

  “Oh, no, you’re not” Rik took hold of the door handle and held it fast “You’re not walking into this room until you explain to me who this Mr. Aloha is and exactly how he happens to be running tame in our bedroom.”

  “You know, Rik, when I woke up this morning, I thought I had a hangover. But now I realize my head aches in direct proportion to how close I am to you.”

  “Whoa. She floored you, buddy.” Jack sounded impressed and very understanding as he leaned forward to confide, “I’ve noticed the same correlation. Headache…Rik. Rik…headache. I’ve often remarked on how he can be a royal pain in the—”

  “Neck,” Rik said with an admonishing glare. He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest “Now that my faults have been clearly remarked upon and you’re both in agreement, let’s hear your explanation, Hallie.”

  She was feeling better by the second. And in a few minutes, Rik was going to be so sorry he hadn’t listened to her explanation the first time she tried to give it to him. “All right. ” she said graciously. “This morning I phoned the Honolulu office of Mr. Reynolds, who owns Mr. Aloha Formalwear. Someone else answered. Raoul. He’s in charge of the business now, it seems. I asked him to check my original order and to send someone to take your measurements.” She glanced at Jack. “Somehow, Rik was never measured for a tux and, as you know, time is short.”

  Jack’s expression went from amused interest to dour resignation in less time than it took for him to blink. Hallie noted the change and filed it for later consideration. No bridegroom was going to look that unhappy in a Bernhardt wedding, that was certain. “So, Raoul said he had an associate already on Maui, checking out possible locations for another branch of Mr. Aloha Formalwear, and he’d send him right over. I said that’d be great and told him my room number. Not twenty minutes later, there’s a tap at the door and our Mr. Aloha had arrived.” She punctuated the end of the story with a that’s-it shrug.

  “You let a strange man just walk into your hotel room?” Rik asked, stressing practically every word.

  “Yes,” Hallie answered. “I did.”

  “Didn’t it occur to you that you might be putting yourself in danger?”

  “Come on, Rik,” Jack intervened. “She’s out here in the hall, isn’t she? Give her credit for having good sense.”

  “Thank you’ She smiled at Jack.

  He smiled back “You’re welcome.”

  Rik scowled at them both. “What about all these theatrics, Hallie? Is Mr. Aloha someone I should or should not trust? Should I or should I not let him measure me for the tux?”

  “Let me pu
t it this way,” she said sweetly. “If I hadn’t believed he could be trusted to stay away from your clothes and personal possessions, I wouldn’t have left him alone with them. And when it comes to measuring you for your tux—” she couldn’t help but smile “—I think he’ll do an admirable job.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?” Rik stepped back and Hallie pushed open the door.

  “Hello?” she called. “I’m sorry it took me so long. Mr. Austin was a little more difficult to locate than I expected. But we’re all here now.”

  The person from Mr. Aloha turned from the window with a shimmer of silver lamé, and Hallie fully expected to hear the thud of jaws dropping to the floor behind her as first Jack, then Rik, got a good look at him. Her. Whichever.

  “I was beginning to think you’d deserted me, sugar.” Tall, thin, as silver blond as a shooting star, the man in drag stepped into the middle of the room and smiled with an easy grace. He had beautiful eyes, very blue, very carefully lined with blue shadow, and an abundance of thick, long black eyelashes that couldn’t be real but looked surprisingly natural just the same. In fact, other than his height and a suspicious broadness of chest and shoulders, he looked very much like a female. A tall, blond, curvaceous and quite lovely female.

  Obviously, Rik and Jack were a little more stringent in their criteria for “female,” because there was total silence from the peanut gallery behind her. Hallie could all but hear their testosterone screaming, “Get me out of here!” To their credit, neither one of them bolted from the room. Although she was pretty sure both wanted to.

  “Celeste Sims,” she said by way of introduction, “I’d like you to meet Jack Keaton, our bridegroom. And Rik Austin, the best man.”

  Celeste “Mr. Aloha” Sims obviously knew how to handle the male ego, because there was no offer or expectation of a handshake. Just a slight nod of acknowledgment and a comfortably confident renewal of her smile. “Oh, goody. Linebackers.” With a zip of her retractable measuring tape, Celeste swept first Jack, then Rik, with a discerning eye. “Who wants to be first?”