Return to Paradise

by Laina Villeneuve

  “She asked to. I said I’d like to meet at Cup of Joy again, and she reluctantly agreed.”

  “You know why she’s reluctant.”

  “No.”

  “Because Hope’s a lesbian.”

  “But you’re a lesbian.”

  “I didn’t say she made sense. I’m just warning you that she was one of the more critical locals when Dani and Hope came out.” When Madison seemed to retreat again, I was sorry to have made a point of it.

  “You said that she’s a piece of work. I was hoping you were wrong about that. I’m a part of her, you know?”

  “You have her chin. Maybe her nose.” I traced from bridge to tip of her cute button nose. “But you’re your own person.” I kissed her gently.

  The timer binged, taking her away from me. She pulled the corn bread from the oven and dished up bowls of soup, grating cheese on top. “Let’s eat in the living room. I want to enjoy the curtains,” she said, moving us away from our conversation about Shawneen.

  The room had no furniture, but the floor glowed from the new varnish. The meal was delicious and accentuated the hominess she’d created out of the dust. As she talked about all she wanted her resort to be, I could see it all happening. Once her guests arrived, they weren’t going to want to leave. I knew I didn’t want to leave. When I set aside my empty bowl, I said, “You’ve done an amazing job in the last two months.” The silence that met my compliment puzzled me.

  She tipped her face away from me. I put my hand on her shoulder, still not understanding what had changed. I thought our lighthearted dinner conversation had salvaged our day. “Did I upset you?”

  “No. It’s not you. It’s… ” She lifted a shoulder. “What if it’s the same with Shawneen? What if she can’t accept me because I’m gay? What if that’s more important to her than having me back in her life again? I don’t know why I said I’d meet her again. If she never wrote back, maybe I should have stopped wondering about her.”

  I leaned against her unsure of what I could say. I couldn’t help but question Shawneen’s motives. If she wasn’t interested in learning who Madison was, why spend more time with her? Shawneen always had an ulterior motive, and what it was with Madison worried me. “Maybe you said you’d see her again because you need to ask about the letters.”

  I traced a pattern up and down her strong forearm, admiring her lean musculature.

  She set her bowl aside as well. “Maybe.”

  Before I could figure out something more to say, her lips were on mine. She offered a dessert of kisses, so many I thought we might forget to stop. I knew though, that she would. Where she lost herself in her work and in fantasies of reconnecting with her mother, she never completely lost herself in me. I craved the intimacy she kept guarded from me but knowing all she was struggling to sort out, I was not about to ask for more.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Madison

  I let the door to Martha’s antique store settle behind me and walked next door to Lacey’s shop. She’d recently found new taillight covers for her VW and finally had the time to put them on. “That does make a difference.”

  The smile she flashed made my belly bottom out. I still couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that she liked me, that I had something to do with her smile. She was the princess, the prize that everyone wanted, not me. I wanted to kiss her, but I still didn’t quite trust that I could lay claim to her perfect lips.

  “These are the little joys of car restoration—making her look as beautiful as the day she hit the lot. How’d it go with Martha? Did she have anything good for you?”

  Since I’d set up my bedroom with the furniture from Ruth, I’d been talking about finding antique sets for the other rooms to keep with the rustic feel of the place. Lacey had suggested that I talk to Martha. “She found two bedroom sets that are perfect. I can’t wait to get them out to the house.” I took a deep breath in, remembering the sweet smell that escaped when I pulled out the drawers of Ruth’s dresser. I’d been trying to think of what it reminded me of.

  “This means you’re almost ready to open, doesn’t it?”

  “Really close. I need to run to Chico or Reno for mattresses and bedding. Towels and all that stuff I can pick up when I get the dining room and living room furniture.”

  “That’s a lot to haul in one run.”

  “Bo and Ruth are lending me a trailer.”

  “You must be so excited. I remember when all of my remodeling was finally finished, and I was about to open!” Lacey’s eyes sparkled, and she gave me a quick hug.

  The oil and metallic smell of her shop hung about her, resonating with me on some level. I closed my eyes and searched deeply. Charlie. I mostly saw Charlie when he was tinkering with something in the shop. If I stopped in to chat, he’d sometimes rest his calloused hand on my shoulder. I always preferred Bo’s hugs and how he seemed to carry the outdoors in with him. I suddenly remembered why the dresser drawers smelled familiar. They smelled like Bo. Even washed, his clothes held that mixture of sunshine and sweat. I remembered sleeping in his old undershirts and how it felt like being held by Bo. I squeezed Lacey tighter remembering how safe I’d always felt in his arms.

  “What was that for?”

  “I found another piece of my childhood. It seems to happen a lot when I’m around you.”

  “I like that.” Lacey squeezed my hand before turning back to her work.

  “You almost done?”

  “Almost finished,” she corrected.

  “Auto technicians aren’t done?” I asked, remembering how she’d corrected me before.

  “Turkeys are done. People, whether they are mechanics or auto techs, are finished.”

  “Not that anyone is a mechanic.” I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth.

  “If you keep staring, I’m not going to be able to help myself.” Her voice dropped to a sultry whisper.

  “Who said I was asking you to?” I had been ready for more but was waiting for Lacey to take us further. The way we’d been kissing, I thought she wanted more too, but she’d been pulling back from me. I was scared that I liked her more than she liked me. I couldn’t risk pushing her away by letting her know how much I wanted.

  Lacey busied herself installing the second taillight. “I figured going further than kissing was your call since…”

  “My call? You’re the one with experience dating. I was waiting for you to make a move.”

  “Oh, no. You make the call on your first time.”

  My laugh came out a surprised bark. “Wait. You think I’m a virgin?”

  “Um, yeah. If I recall correctly, you said you’d never been on a first date before.”

  “No, but just because you’ve never bought a car doesn’t mean you’ve never been on a test drive.” She kept her face turned toward her work, but I could see the tension in her body. “That bothers you,” I observed.

  “You don’t seem like the kind of person to have one-night stands.” Her tone was serious.

  “Wait, wait, wait,” I stammered. I didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. “I never said I had one-night stands. I said I’d tested out the equipment. There’s a difference.”

  “I guess I’m not clear on how that happens without dating.”

  “I had a friend in high school. We fooled around together. First kissing and then…more. We never dated—we hung out like friends do, but it never went past that emotionally.” I tried to say it as straightforwardly as Susan had, but the air I breathed felt tight in my lungs.

  “Until it did for you.”

  I nodded, unable to find my voice. I didn’t want it to matter after all these years. It was foolish for me to have thought for an instant that she would pick me. I knew better than to think she’d pick me for a school dance or anything so public, but I told myself that in private she picked me, and that was enough. When I discovered that she preferred the boy she went to the dance with more in private too…

  Lacey set down her tools and pull
ed her shop doors down, leading me in to the house through her back door. Immediately inside, she stopped at a small washroom and scrubbed her hands and forearms with Borax soap. She turned to me and took my hands in hers. They were chilled from the mountain-cold water. I told myself that’s why a shiver zipped up my spine.

  “Do you remember the first time we touched?” Her bedroom was right next to the washroom, and she took a few steps inside. She kicked some stray shoes and clothes toward the closet as she led me toward her bed, a simple mattress on a box spring, no headboard, blankets thrown back.

  Our destination obvious, I was grateful for the task she had assigned me. I ran our intimate moments through my memory working backward from when we first kissed. Pausing briefly at obvious things like being at Bo and Ruth’s and running into her at the restaurant, I settled on her shop. “When you gave me the box. We were sitting in Shawneen’s Nova, and your fingers brushed mine when you handed me my box of treasures.”

  A sly smile crept across her face. “Correct on the fingers barely brushing, but it was the day you came in with your flat tire. I was so frustrated with you, keeping me in the cold garage. I didn’t know then what had you frozen.”

  “We touched?”

  “You were so lost that day. But I noticed your fingers, how long and slender they are with those big half moons like smiles at the base of each fingernail. I’ve been thinking about what your hands would feel like on me ever since then.”

  My heart felt tight in my chest. How could she feel that way about me? Nobody had ever wanted me like that. “Since I drove into your shop, really?” I took a step closer. I’d expected her to have the sharp oily tang of her shop, but her room smelled of lavender, and so did she.

  “You handed me that valve cap.”

  “You make that sound so sexy.”

  “I’d love to check your tire pressure.” My brain started to default to how she could possibly be flirting with me, but then she slid her cool hands around my hips and pulled me flush to her. Her hands on my body overrode my fears. I surrendered myself to her kiss and welcomed the cool palms that crept up under my shirt. She had made me so hot so fast that I hissed with pleasure. She immediately pulled away with an apology.

  “No. I like it. I want them everywhere.” My fingers flew to the buttons on my shirt, making quick work from bottom to top. I remembered my first impression of Lacey when I’d believed she was the customer, not the shop owner, when I assumed that she would never take note of someone like me. She did now. I saw her chest rise and fall with her rapid breaths. She stepped forward and pushed the shirt from my shoulders while I released the clasp on the front of my bra, which she peeled away as well. Instead of shrinking from her cool fingertips, my skin seemed to be drawn toward them as if they were magnetic. My nipples begged her to touch them. Her hands hovered for a moment but did not settle or linger. Instead, she took a step back, watching me as she undid one of the buttons of her blue work shirt. For each step back, she released another until she stood by the side of her bed. A step ahead of her, I had my hands on the button fly of my jeans, matching her button by button.

  My heart pounded in my ears, in my fingertips that ached to touch her, and at my center. I fought against following the tempo my heartbeat set and slowly propped one of my booted feet up on the bedframe, pushing the lace from the eyehooks without having to untie it. When I bent to take off my boot, Lacey shimmied back on her bed to remove her work boots. I took each from her to set down before I propped my other foot up between her legs, disengaged the laces and slid my foot out.

  She shed her shirt as I inched my jeans past my hips. With my head start, I stood in front of her fully naked. She moved to stand, but I stepped forward between her legs to keep her where she was. She lay back to let me pull off her functional work pants, and I found that the green lace of her panties matched that of her bra. The contrast made me smile.

  “Glad you like what you see.”

  “Oh, I do,” I said, tracing the delicate material. “You weren’t wearing your mechanic’s duds that first day, and I thought you were a girly girl dropping off her car.”

  “And when it turned out I was the technician?” she said, correcting me yet again.

  “Blew me away. Almost as much as finding these…” She shivered as I traced the garments I’d left on her.

  “I hope what happens from here doesn’t disappoint,” she said, pulling me down to her.

  She got the motor I’d let sit idle for far too long purring under her expert hands. She wasn’t just passing the time or lost in what made her feel good. Her lips, tongue and fingers asked questions and listened to what my body had to say and asked me to keep talking. I never knew I had so much to say, but her hands were like pressure on the accelerator, building the horsepower of the engine, our parts revving at the precise calibration.

  She liked me as much as I liked her. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. That alone would have been enough, but she asked for more, holding me, stroking me, letting me feel her everywhere, places I’d never even knew existed. My orgasm shot through me like gears finally engaged, and I rode it full throttle never wanting to slow down.

  And when we switched drivers, I touched without the fear that there might never be another time. The smile on her face, the catch of her breath, the way her body pressed into mine: it all said more. I always worried that I wanted too much, but that anxiety fell by the side of the road as we accelerated once again. I didn’t give it another thought as I took in the scenery and sped toward my destination.

  “Just so we’re clear,” she panted as we lay spent in each other’s arms, “I pick you.”

  “Hmmm. What if I need occasional reminders?” I asked, thinking that my time with her felt like a tune-up for my confidence.

  Her reply made me feel like she was reading my mind. “I take scheduled maintenance very seriously.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Lacey

  I let myself into Madison’s place amazed at the transformation furniture made. The living room now had a dark leather couch that I would have loved to sink into had I not promised to return to the field to help Madison figure out what was wrong with the irrigation. Coffee table, area rug, and prints on the walls gave the room a definite finished and homey look.

  On closer inspection, I confirmed that the prints were of Dani’s prize barrel racing mare, Daisy, some of her in action and others of her nuzzling a mule colt. I recognized Kristine Owens’s signature on all of the shots I found around the house, all local scenery that I hoped would encourage Madison’s guests to get out and explore the area on their own. I was admiring a huge print of a bald eagle, wings spread wide above the branch its great talons gripped.

  “Isn’t it beautiful? I might have to buy that one to keep permanently.”

  I turned and smiled at Madison leaning against the doorframe, a glass of water in hand.

  “It’s perfect. When do Bo and Ruth arrive?”

  She checked her watch. “’Bout an hour.”

  “They are going to be so impressed. I know I am.” I swept my arms around her and planted a kiss on her. “There are other ways to spend that hour.”

  “You’re a bad influence.” She swatted me with little conviction. “What if they get here early?”

  I kissed her again but not as deeply to let her know I’d heard her. “What do you mean you might buy this one?” I motioned to the eagle.

  “Don’t you know how I got all of these?”

  “Why would I?”

  “I was sure you’d put Hope up to it. The last time Shawneen and I were there, she pulled me aside and asked if I liked the art hanging in her diner. I told her I loved it but was sure I couldn’t afford it. Turns out the artist is local and is happy to have businesses hang her work on commission.”

  “If guests like what they see, they can buy it? That’s a fantastic idea!”

  “I’m so glad you agree.” A shadow passed over her face before she zeroed in on her glas
s. She drained it and then asked if I was ready to take a look at the pipes.

  “What’s up?”

  “I told you I can’t get the water pressure I want down there. I got a couple of the fixtures turning, but I think there’s a blockage somewhere because I’m getting a tiny bit at the closest faucet and absolutely nothing further out.”

  “There’s something else. I know about the pipes. And everything you’ve done up here looks incredible. Once you have your website up, you’re going to be booked solid. I don’t see why you’d think I’d question a thing you’ve done, not that it matters what I think. This is your place.”

  “I know.” She headed toward the kitchen to deposit her glass. She was distracted by something, and it drove me nuts that she thought she could walk away and pretend like she wasn’t.

  “Spill.”

  She looked at the floor as if she expected to find that she’d unknowingly made a mess of water in the kitchen.

  “Madison. I can tell something’s wrong.”

  She pressed three fingers to the center of her forehead and fanned them toward her hairline.

  “Sit down and tell me why you’re upset,” I said, guiding her to the red chair that she kept in her kitchen.

  “Shawneen says I should give up on the gardening idea. Yesterday, I told her about the issues I was having with the water lines, and she said it was a sign. Instead of doing a big garden out there, I should offer a day spa.”

  Madison picked up a large stack of papers on the counter and let them fall again. I shuffled through them, some ads for local massage therapists, others for mud baths and saunas in town. “If you’re interested in this, you should talk to Cal.”

  “You think I should?” she asked, crestfallen.

  “No. Remember I voted garden.”

  “She said that I should let Dennis come out and walk the property to see if I have a hot spring somewhere that I could use.”