Silver Tears

by Weyrich, Becky Lee

  Finally Will yawned and stretched. “I’m done in, ladies. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.”

  “I will not excuse you, William Phips,” Mary said with a chuckle, “but I’ll join you.”

  Will sighed in feigned disappointment, then said, “I thought sure I’d be able to go up to my bed and get right to sleep for a change. But a husband must do what a husband must do.”

  Mary cuffed his ear good-naturedly as they said good night and left Alice alone with her thoughts. Of course, they were all about Chris: Where was he now? Was he all right? When would he return? Did he still love her?

  Lost in these questions, she looked up and spied a dark figure leaning against the old elm tree a short distance away. Her heart raced. Could it be?

  “I hope I didn’t startle you, Alice.”

  Her heart ceased its wild beating when she heard his voice. It wasn’t Chris after all, but only Jonathan Hargrave.

  “No, Jon. As a matter of fact, I didn’t see you there until just now.”

  He came nearer. “I apologize for spying on you, but you look so lovely in the moonlight. You’re a handsome woman, Alice, there’s no denying that.”

  She smiled at his compliment. “I thank you, kind sir. It’s not often a man tells me such nice things these days.”

  “It’s a lonely life, isn’t it, Alice?” She knew by the way he said it that he referred to his own life as much as hers.

  “I have friends,” she replied.

  “But sometimes friends aren’t enough. May I join you?”

  “If you wish,” she answered, indicating the chair Will Phips had vacated.

  He sank down with a weary sigh. “It’s been a long day.”

  “You’ve been down at the shipyard?”

  “Aye. I want to see that every spar and length of canvas is perfect before it becomes a part of the Lady Witch.”

  Alice shuddered slightly at the new vessel’s name. “Who decided to call her that?”

  He chuckled softly. “Sir William allowed me to name her, and I couldn’t very well call her the Alice now that you’re a married woman. So I chose the next best thing. I hope you aren’t offended that I wanted to name her after you.”

  “Not at all. It’s only that all references to witches send a shiver through me. I’d have much preferred you use my Christian name.”

  Now he laughed out loud. “And have that husband of yours rip my heart out with his bare hands? I’m not that brave, Goodwife Gunn.”

  “Please don’t.” Alice half rose as if she meant to leave.

  “Don’t what?” Hargrave asked. “Have I upset you in some way? If so, please accept my sincerest apology.”

  Alice settled uneasily back in her chair. “It’s just… it doesn’t sound right when I’m called a good wife. A woman must have a husband in order to feel like a wife.”

  “You won’t be alone much longer, Alice. If all goes well with his mission, your husband could return before the fall. Will says the Indians settle down as cold weather approaches. Then, unless Gunn’s taken leave of his senses, he’ll head straight back to you.”

  “How I wish I could know that for certain,” she whispered.

  “He promised as much. I heard his very words as he left you—‘I’ll be back and you’d better be waiting for me.

  Alice groaned and hid her face in her hands. “Oh, mercy, did everyone in the whole world hear everything we said that night?”

  “I’m sorry,” Jon said softly, “but it was difficult not to.”

  Thinking about it, Alice giggled like a girl. “Have you ever before heard of such a ridiculous wedding night? Oh, what a row we had!”

  “You’ve married a passionate man, Alice. You’ll have to learn to live with that. Perhaps if I’d shown more fire, more passion—”

  “Don’t say any more, Jon. Please, I could use a friend right now. We can’t be friends if you insist upon dwelling on that.”

  He reached over and patted Alice’s hand. “You’re right, of course. And I do want to be your friend.”

  The days and weeks progressed, and Alice continued to enjoy her newfound friendship with Hargrave. Now that she was married, she felt the tension between them vanish. She saw that he could be a kind and understanding man. If one of them was feeling sad, the other always managed to brighten the spirits. They shared their gay moods as well. Yet they remained friends and nothing else.

  The summer heat cooled and the leaves began to turn. Alice slowly came to realize that Christopher would not return before winter set in. Rumors trickled down from the north. Portland had not yet been attacked, so Chris’s mission must have been a success. However, there were still skirmishes along the coast. Knowing her husband, Alice guessed that he would not come back to Boston nor permit her to go to Maine until a firmer peace had descended over the land.

  Alice awaited word of Chris’s return all through September and October, but the Abenaki remained restless, and the meetings with the baron continued. On the morning in early November when she awoke to a covering of glistening white outside her window, she settled in, mentally, for a long, lonely winter ahead.

  Jonathan Hargrave awoke that morning to the same white blanket outside his window. The sight filled his heart with joy. He had prayed for this and his prayers had been answered. The snow was like a giant, unbreachable wall standing between Christopher Gunn and his bride. As he gazed out at the winter’s first storm, Hargrave felt like a convicted criminal who had just been granted a reprieve. Now he would have months ahead of him to work out a plan, and once spring arrived, he would sail back to England as captain of one Lady Witch and husband of the other. After all, Alice had never been bedded by her husband and he had deserted her on their wedding night. An annulment would be a simple enough matter to accomplish. Then Alice would be all his.

  Jonathan dressed carefully, then walked down the road to the stable to hire a sleigh and team. He returned to the house just as Alice was coming down to breakfast.

  “Lovely morning,” he said in greeting.

  Alice looked pale and disgruntled. “That’s your opinion. I’ve always found winter to be a depressing time of year.”

  He gave her his most brilliant smile. “Ah, Alice, then you simply don’t know how to enjoy these glorious New England winters. I have a surprise for you after breakfast that will soon change your mind.”

  Alice did not want to go out. Nothing would have made her happier than to be a bear at the moment. Her disposition was certainly in tune, and all she wanted to do, she told Mary, was hibernate until spring came around.

  “Alice, Alice,” Mary cried. “What am I going to do with you, child? I thought you’d given up this dismal attitude for good.”

  “That’s when I thought Chris would be home by fall. Now it’s too late. I won’t see him till spring. By then he may have forgotten that he even has a wife.”

  Mary chuckled. “Oh, I doubt that, my dear. Think of your poor man, off up there in the wilds. He’ll be cooped up in that fort for the next months. Don’t tell me he won’t come rushing back to you with the first thaw. You go with Captain Hargrave this morning and have a good time. It will lift your spirits.”

  So a short while later Alice found herself tucked cozily under a fur lap robe with Jonathan sharing its warmth as they dashed through the snowbound streets of Boston. The jingle of the sleigh bells and the winter merriment all about went a long way toward cheering Alice.

  “Feeling better?” Jon asked.

  “Yes, thanks,” she replied, smiling up at him. “You were right, Jon. All of Boston looks like a fairyland. And if I’d stayed home, I think I would have been the only one housebound today.” They both waved when friends sped past, heading in the opposite direction, their bells harmonizing with the ones on the reins in Jon’s hands.

  When they returned home, the fragrance of warm spices and cider greeted them. Mary Phips had been in her kitchen all morning turning out pans of
cinnamony pumpkin bread, baking apples for supper, and mulling cider slowly over the fire.

  “You two sit right down,” she ordered, her plump cheeks rosy from her work. “You must be half frozen. Warm up by the fire and I’ll fetch you a treat. Enjoy yourself while you can, Alice. This very afternoon I plan to start the Christmas fruitcakes so they’ll have plenty of time to age in the rum before the holidays. I’ll need your help, dear.”

  Jon held a chair for Alice, then sat down at the table across from her, beaming. “Ah, how I enjoy cooking smells in a home. Married men don’t know how lucky they are. So much extra pleasure comes from having a wife.”

  “Why have you never married, Jon, if you find it such a pleasing situation?” Alice asked.

  Before he formed an answer, Mary brought in pumpkin bread, steaming from the oven on a china plate, and pewter mugs of aromatic cider. Then she hurried back to her kitchen to supervise the cook, leaving the two of them alone again.

  “I’ll tell you honestly, Alice,” Jon said in a wistful tone, “I’m not a bachelor from lack of wanting a wife. But it never seemed fair to me to ask any woman to sit at home and wait while I took to the sea. A wife needs her husband by her side.”

  Alice stared down at her plate, feeling a twinge of pain at his words. Her own husband apparently did not share that view.

  “Now,” he continued, “I’m about done with my wandering. I’ll see the Lady Witch safely to England’s shores, and then I’ve decided to retire. I’m going to buy a fine home and fill it with everything to make a woman happy. You see, I do plan to marry… just as soon as I can find a woman who could love a rangy old seadog like me.

  Alice laughed aloud. “You’re neither rangy nor old, Jonathan Hargrave. You’ll find the right woman and make her a good husband, I’m sure.”

  Jonathan laughed silently. “I’m sure you’re right, Alice. So very right.”

  As the winter progressed, Alice learned much more about Jonathan. He told her of his early years, of going to sea with his father when he was a lad of twelve. “I was a lowly cabin boy,” he explained, “and deathly afraid of the great captain who’d sired me. When I was on board his ship, I was no longer his son, but one of the crew. He was a mighty fierce father, but a fine captain. I always looked up to him and wanted to be like him.”

  Jon’s mother had left his father while both of them were off at sea. Alice guessed that this was the reason Jon had never married. He remembered all too well how his mother’s desertion had destroyed his father. Yet he didn’t blame his mother. “She was too lovely and tenderhearted a woman to be made to suffer so. She saw her husband and son only on rare occasions every few years. She deserved better than either of us gave her,” he explained.

  As for the women in Jon’s life, he had little to say about them. He did mention a girl named Prudence from Glasgow. “But she was so young and lovely, I couldn’t inflict myself on her. I wonder where she is now… if she ever married.” He said no more on the subject.

  All through the long winter months Jonathan shared his dreams, thoughts, memories from his past. They helped the time pass for each other. The constant ache began to soothe from Alice’s heart, and she welcomed the healing. Still, the cold months were especially difficult since no mail—from Gunn or anyone else—came through from Maine. Alice could live without letters, she told herself, if only she could be sure that her husband would return in the spring.

  Captain Hargrave was biding his time. The Lady Witch would be ready for christening by mid-March. After a few trial runs up and down the coastline, he would set sail for England. When he departed for his homeland in April, he planned for Alice to be with him.

  He had paced himself well during the winter months. He had become Alice’s faithful companion without crowding her or causing gossip. She trusted him and obviously enjoyed his company. It felt good to have a pretty woman always at his side. It would feel even better once she was in his bed.

  He had planned to wait until the very eve of his departure for England to spring his surprise, but an early thaw changed his mind. As the day of the ship’s launching approached, Jon decided to make his move. He had to be sure of his victory over Gunn before Alice’s husband turned up again. There was the annulment to think of, too. He wanted that taken care of before he and Alice sailed off together. With Alice safely wed to him, Gunn would have no recourse once he did resurface.

  The morning of the launching, Captain Hargrave donned a spanking new uniform for the ceremony. His starched white shirt collar gleamed against the rich blue of his jacket, and the gold of his braid and buttons proved dazzling in the bright morning sun.

  As they sat on the christening platform, side by side, Jon reached over and squeezed Alice’s hand. “There’s something I have to say to you after the ceremony is over, my dear.”

  Alice felt a jolt of surprise surge through her. Except to help her in or out of a carriage, Jon had not touched her all the winter long. His whispered confidence and his light touch set a warning off inside her, but she couldn’t explain to herself what it meant. She wondered what he could be thinking.

  For hours, it seemed to Alice, they sat through speech after dull speech. Only after the Lady Witch had slipped down the ways did she breathe a sigh of relief. It was time she found out what Jonathan had on his mind, but she had to wait as everyone gathered around to congratulate the new ship’s captain. Mary came up to Alice instead.

  “Let’s hurry home, Alice,” Mary insisted, “and make sure everything’s ready for the reception. I won’t have Captain Hargrave or my Will disappointed on such a momentous occasion.”

  Alice was thus swept away, still unaware of what it was Jonathan meant to tell her.

  Only after the last guest had left later that evening did Alice and Jonathan sit down for a private chat. Mary and Will, both exhausted after the excitement of the day’s events, went to bed early. From her chair Alice looked up and realized that everyone had left and she was alone with Jonathan. She smiled at him a bit awkwardly.

  “Well, it’s over,” she said quietly.

  Jon moved across the room toward her. “Have I told you how utterly beautiful you look in that gown, Alice? There wasn’t a woman anywhere in Boston who could hold a candle to you today. My, you are a handsome woman.”

  “Jon, your flattery will make me blush,” she whispered, shying away from his boldly direct gaze.

  “Flattery? What do you take me for?” he protested, gripping her hands in his. Then his booming voice gentled. “I mean every word of it, Alice, my dearest.”

  “Jon, please.” Now it was Alice’s turn to protest. She tried to wrest her hands from his, but he held on tightly.

  “Alice, I think it’s time we were honest with each other and with ourselves. I can’t deny any longer that I love you. I’ve wanted to marry you since the first time I set eyes on you. I still want to.”

  Alice was dumbstruck. All this time she’d accepted his friendship, believing that was all there was. When she finally found words, her shock was evident. “I’m already a married woman, Jonathan. I love my husband. Only my husband.”

  Forcefully, Jon pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair. “Don’t say that,” he whispered. “You have no husband yet, my darling, but I mean to change that soon.”

  Alice’s blood surged with a mixture of anger and panic. She struggled against him, but he refused to release her.

  “No, Jonathan. Let me go!” she demanded.

  Instead, he pulled her closer, saying, “He’s been no husband to you, Alice. I promise you I will be. A quiet annulment and then we’ll be married. We’ll sail away together, and you’ll never be alone again.”

  “No!” she cried, but he silenced her with a fierce kiss.

  A thousand demons were screaming inside Alice’s head and tearing at her heart. Everything in her rebelled against his kiss. How could she have failed to see this coming? Now that it was actually happening, she had to put a sto
p to it.

  Just as she braced her palms against Hargrave’s shoulders to shove him away, the door opened. “God damn you to hell, Hargrave!”

  Shocked by Gunn’s voice, Hargrave loosened his hold for a moment. Alice wrenched free of his arms and turned toward her husband, staring into his wild green eyes that burned with rage.

  “Get away from my wife, you bloody bastard!” Gunn moved toward Hargrave, murder etched in his face.

  “She’s your wife in name only, and she won’t be that much longer,” Jon said in a steady voice.

  “The hell you say!”

  Alice stood back, staring at the two men and the threatening poses they had assumed. Jonathan moved away as Chris, her burly beast of a husband, prepared to throw a punch. She narrowed her eyes, sizing up the backwoodsman who had returned to claim her. A wild beard covered his face and his unkempt hair fell to below his shoulders. His buckskins were mud-spattered and smelled of sweat and uncured hides. Christopher Gunn looked and acted pure savage through and through. But he was her savage—the only man she wanted.

  “Chris, thank God you’re home!” she cried, running to him.

  He turned his menacing gaze on his wife. “And not a minute too soon, it seems. Well, I didn’t spend a whole year waiting for my wedding night to have this son of a bitch enjoy it for me. Get upstairs and pack your bags. We’re leaving, now.”

  Alice took a step back, staggered by his announcement. Before she could form a reply, Hargrave said, “She’s not going anywhere with you, Gunn. You have no rights any longer. You deserted your wife. Alice is getting an annulment. We’ll be married as soon as it’s legal.”

  Gunn glanced from Hargrave to Alice for confirmation, but she was too dazed to answer. When she said nothing, he repeated, “Upstairs! Pack! We’re leaving.”

  Despite her pleasure at Gunn’s return, Alice felt like a bone being fought over by two dogs. For that she was furious with both of them.