by Sierra Hill
Sex with Cade is unbelievable and makes me want him all the time. In the past, sex was like checking off boxes in order to feel like a real woman. But I never enjoyed the act as much as I do with him. He’s a fantastic lover. With his ripped abs, strong chest, and taut ass, he’s the perfect male specimen. I could spend hours running my fingers over the toned planes of his body, touching every part of his magnificent physique, created by years of strength training and bench presses.
Unfortunately, I’m resentful now that I know what I’m missing. Like the other night, when I only had a few hours to spend with Cade, naked and sweaty, before I had to resign myself to heading home. There’s no curfew assigned – my mom never really cared enough as long as I was there for Anika. It’s a battle between being responsible and being with Cade. And I hate that I have to choose.
He’d been spooning me in his arms the other night on his bed, after a hungry and furious bout of sex, our bodies contentedly wrapped up in one other. Cade was trying his best to get me to stay the night with him – tugging at my sensibilities. Using our closeness to get me to cave.
“Please don’t go, baby,” he had pleaded, his fingers gently sweeping up and down my back, sending shivers of pleasure along the way. “I just want to wake up with your naked body in my arms. Is that so wrong? And I promise, baby, in the morning, I’ll make it so good for you…I swear.”
He nipped my ear as he whispered the sensual words, his tongue teasing around the maze of my ear’s outer shell, as his hand traced my overly sensitive nipple in a circular motion.
“Mmm. I believe you.”
Turning to face him, I had grabbed his ass in confirmation, pulling him into me so that our bodies were aligned tightly to one another. Although we’d just made love ten minutes earlier, I could feel his cock lengthening between my legs, loving the fact that he could get hard again so soon. That I got him hard.
I had been torn between wanting him again and having to go home. There is a big part of me that fears he will realize he doesn’t need me. If I can’t be there to satisfy his needs, then someone else could. That worry plagues me all the time now. I’m not the typical girlfriend that can be with him whenever he wants me. I have obligations that interfere with our love life. So in moments like that, I desperately needed him to know just how good it felt being inside me. To realize this was special so he wouldn’t go looking for it elsewhere.
I’ve also grown bolder the more and more sex we have together. I am a faster learner, and maybe a bit of an overachiever, as I became more familiar with what he likes and how he likes it. He made it easy for me to let go. Which means I am really loud in bed. He teases me about it constantly, as does his not-so-subtle roommates who now affectionately called me “’the screamer’”. I was embarrassed at first, but Cade told me he loved it and it drove him wild when I made a lot of noise in bed. So what can I do?
That night, Cade had flipped me on my back as he hovered over me, his broad shoulders blocking out everything above me. He had been my entire focal point – there was nothing better to look at in this world. Kissing Cade was better than ice cream, or fireworks. His lips felt perfect melded with mine. Hot, wet and hungry. As his mouth took possession of mine, my lips automatically parted to grant him full access. As he sucked on my tongue, I felt his hand encircle my breast, squeezing and plumping it between his fingers, his thumb flicking the tip of my nipple.
My hips arched off the bed when his mouth left mine and his lips latched on to the hardened peak, pulling it between his teeth and sucking hard. As he shifted his mouth to the other breast, the short, bristly hair on the top of his head tickled underneath my chin, causing me to giggle.
It stopped him in his tracks as he jerked his head up to gape at me in surprise.
“What’s so funny?”
I laughed again. “Your hair is tickling me,” I snorted, flicking my hand through his hair. “But don’t let that stop you. You may continue.” I waved my wrist at his face, ordering him with my demand.
His eyes lit up in concert with the lazy grin painted across his face. He had been just too damn gorgeous. I let my gaze fall from his eyes to his biceps, which are taut and displayed beautifully as he held himself above me.
The tip of his cock slid between my wet legs and had me sucking in a loud breath in surprise. My eyes immediately darted up to find his burning with intensity. I couldn’t make out what he was thinking, but if the teeth biting into his bottom lip was any indication, it was something pretty sexy and hot.
“Ains,” he whispered, pressing down against me so I felt at once both safe and anxious with his posturing. “Do you trust me?”
I had nearly laughed out loud, because no, I’d never really trusted anyone in my life. Not my irresponsible mom. Not the authorities, who on more than one occasion turned a blind eye to our plight and living situation. And certainly not men. The only men I had been exposed to in my childhood were drifters, cons and habitual users. No good losers who I wouldn’t have trusted farther than I could’ve thrown them.
But I considered his question. In the time I’ve known Cade, and come to learn how sweet and honest he is, the answer was unequivocally a yes. I do trust him. He is who he says he is. No pretense. No hidden agendas. He is open and honest with me about everything. So my response was clear, quick and without hesitation.
“Of course I trust you.”
Cade returned to kissing my neck, leaving a path of little bites along the soft flesh, his warm breath spanning across my overly sensitive skin. It was this type of intimacy that made me crazy for him. Needy and wanton.
“I used the last condom earlier,” he had murmured, heightening my awareness of his steely dick between my thighs. “I don’t have any more with me. I haven’t had time to pick up another box.”
He accentuated this with a glide of his length across my wet entrance. We groaned in unison. Equal parts lust and dismay.
“I want to fuck you again...”
My body responded with a resounding Yes, as I tilted my hips up to gain friction.
“Can I? Can we…”
My eyes popped open as my brain finally clues in to what he’s asking. What he wanted.
My fingers had clenched into the back of his neck. “You mean, no protection?”
He hesitated slightly, pausing to consider his next words.
“You’re on the Pill…and I’m clean. And fuck, I want to feel you, be inside you without anything between us…” More kisses, on the other side of my neck before he kissed me fully on the mouth. I opened up for him, my brain and body being pulled under from his tenderness and sweet seduction. “It’s never felt like this for me, Ains.”
Nothing between us. The pinnacle of intimacy and trust. That sounded so good. His admission, a secret confession in the dark, had sent shivers of anticipation down my spine.
And just like that, I gave in. There was no going back. I was in so deep with Cade that this was just the next logical step. I did trust him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. And I wanted to feel all of him, too. I wanted everything with him.
My voice was barely audible as I answered him with the only possible response. “Okay.”
Cade’s surprised reaction had been almost comical. “Oh fuck…are you serious? Oh shit...” His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes and aligned himself with my entrance.
I giggled briefly until I felt the hard, but silky smooth cockhead pushing at my center, ready to submerge into my tight heat.
The moment had been suspended in time, in slow motion as we both looked down at the juncture between our bodies and watched in awe as he disappeared inside of me, inch by glorious inch.
My body instinctively bucked up against him, my pelvis pushing against his to gain friction. When he stilled above me, I frowned, digging my nails into his taut ass cheeks to spur him into action.
“What’s wrong? Why’d you stop?”
Cade’s head fell forward, his eyes closed tight in agony.
“I need to
slow down, otherwise I’ll come. I’m too close already...I didn’t know how incredible you’d feel. It’s too much.”
That was true for both of us, but I loved hearing the desperation in his voice. His hard, hot length was lodged so deep inside of me I could feel it to my toes. But I needed him to move. That was the point of this whole exercise. And my body needed that coveted release more than it needed to breathe.
“Don’t stop, Cade. Please….”
The long, exaggerated groan ripped through his chest, as he complied with my request. And damn, when that boy started to move again, it was with wild abandon. It was with purpose. As if he were driven to perfect the art of love making.
It took no more than four erratic strokes and he was already grunting out his release.
“I’m sorry…oh fuck, I’m gonna come…” I had watched in awe as his head tipped back, strong chin pointed upward, jaw clenched tight as the orgasm washed over his beautiful face.
My own orgasm, which didn’t normally make an appearance without some form of manual stimulation, came barreling out of nowhere like a freight train. Just as he flooded my body with his climax, the tingles formed in my lower abdomen, spreading like the warmth he released inside me. I cried out – loudly – blinded momentarily by white spots of ecstasy behind my eyelids.
Cade’s body relaxed on top of me, a hot blanket of muscle covering my now lax and sated existence. The heat emanated from his entire being and cocooned me in peaceful easiness. I was literally blissed out and so happy I felt high.
As he pulled out of me, I felt the remnants of his orgasm run down the side of my thighs. It was a weird sensation - kind of gross and sticky, but at the same time a reminder of the closeness we just shared. The closest you can ever be to another human being. I immediately missed him, as I grabbed his wrist to stop him from getting out of the bed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get something to clean us up.” He placed a sweet kiss on my forehead as I reluctantly let him go. I watched his gloriously toned ass and powerful legs move out of reach and into the bathroom, where he flicked on the light.
Closing my eyes, I replayed the beauty of the moment and thought about how lucky I was to have opened myself up to Cade. It was a scary proposition, one that I feared would lead to potential hurt and rejection.
But he proved me wrong and exceeded all my expectations. I’d even been considering finally introducing him to Anika and my mother. Nothing was finalized yet, but I knew sooner or later I’d need to make that decision, allowing one part of my life to join with the other.
My eyes sprang open as I felt the soft glide of a tissue against the inside of my leg and my cheeks burned with a sudden flash of shyness. Once he’d taken care of me and threw away the evidence of our lovemaking, he snuggled in beside me, his heavy arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close.
“That was incredible,” he had said, as his breaths became steady and slow. The low rumble of his voice filled me with a languid peace, like a lullaby made to put me to sleep. “Thank you.”
I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face and awoke that next morning to find myself stretched out next to a softly snoring Cade, who apparently sleeps on his stomach. I hadn’t expected to fall asleep, nor stay the entire night.
As I got up and ready to leave, I placed a parting kiss on his cheek, as he mumbled out a goodbye before turning over and falling asleep again. But I remember as I walked out his front door that morning how great it felt to be in a relationship. I let down my guard with Cade, like I’d never been able to do before. I trusted him with my entire being.
Until I heard the commentary from the news reporter on TV this morning.
“So, Jim, that’s a pretty astounding revelation about ASU’s shooting guard, senior Cade Griffin, who was arrested for a DUI and underage consumption…”
What. The. Hell?
I blink my eyes in confusion as a video from the press conference yesterday flashes across the screen. This must be some kind of mistake. There is absolutely no way they have it right. The news reporter obviously has the wrong name.
“That’s right, Carl,” the reporter continues. “The news was leaked yesterday by AGC Sports News that Griffin was arrested last month and sentenced to probation by the Maricopa County Court for his lewd and reckless behavior, along with an underage DUI. In my opinion, the repercussions were too lenient and Cade Griffin got off too easy. A recent study proved that college athletes who are charged with criminal behavior get away with these crimes seventy percent of the time, due to their status and privilege. Either the charges are dropped or not prosecuted. It’s a travesty that these kids receive special treatment in the eyes of the law…”
I can’t listen to this any longer. I turn away and cover my ears, bending my head in despair.
“Ainsley, are you okay? What’s the matter?”
Kimmi’s voice of concern has me blinking back the angry tears that have formed, unbeknownst to me, in the corners of my eyes.
While I’m stunned speechless, and am in a state of denial, there must be some truth to this story. Why would the media make up such a sordid story about Cade being arrested and suspended from the team?
And if there is truth to this story, even an ounce of it, then why the hell hasn’t Cade mentioned anything to me? That question, and the possible answer to it, has me in a tailspin. All I can think about is that we’ve just spent the better part of a month getting to know each other – sharing thing about our lives. I thought this meant something to him. I thought I meant something to him.
The only logical conclusion means that I’m not important enough to Cade for him to want to confide in me. Seriously – this bit of news isn’t some small, insignificant detail in his life. This is huge. It affects everything in his life – his family, his time, his reputation, his team standing. His future.
Kimmi clears her throat and turns off the TV. Her voice is soft, full of pity. “I don’t understand, Ainsley. Did Cade never tell you any of this?”
I cover my face with my hands and shake my head.
“Oh sweetie…I’m so sorry.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders.
Her strong hold gives me little comfort. No matter what the reality and outcome of this thing with Cade is, the fact remains the same. My boyfriend chose not to share this with me. He kept me in the dark – like a fool. And now the world knows, right along with me.
“No. He never mentioned anything.”
There’s a few beats of pause as it looks like Kimmi is weighing in how to respond. I’m sure she’s just as uncomfortable as I am.
“I’m sure he meant to…but maybe he was embarrassed. Shamed. I don’t know.”
I laugh out loud. “Seriously? The Cade Griffin I know doesn’t get embarrassed.”
Kimmi rubs one of her delicate fingers across her eyebrow, a nervous habit I’ve seen her do when she’s stressed. “It’s possible, considering he what was caught, um, doing. And I’m sure it hasn’t been easy, since the courts tried to make an example out of him, and granted him a year probation and community service.”
Community service? Probation? Is that why he’d been coming to visit Simon all this time? Because it was court mandated?
God, I am such a freaking fool. It was never out of the goodness of Cade’s heart. He was ordered to do it.
I am as livid and angry as a rattle snake that my very own boyfriend pulled the wool over my eyes, keeping me in the dark over his sudden interest in his grandfather. He has been lying to me.
My brain quickly calculates the timeline of our initial meeting. He started pursuing me days after he was arrested and sentenced. Cade literally flirted with me the first time I met him at the café and then he doggedly pursued me days after being caught getting a blowjob in his car.
The contents of my stomach roil back and forth, the nausea burning its way up my throat. I swallow down the bile ready to make its escape, as I fumble toward the bathroom door in the bac
k of the kitchen.
Kimmi calls out my name, but the ringing in my ears is too loud and the thoughts of betrayal take up too much space in my head.
I barely reach the toilet before losing it.
And the little voice in the back of my head plays on a loop, reminding me of all the reasons why I never should have put trust in a guy like Cade.
Because I just got played by a player.
18
Cade
Ainsley isn’t returning my calls. I’ve been trying for the last two days and each time it goes directly to voicemail.
I’ve also tried texting her with no response, either. I’m on the verge of stalking her, but decide I’ll just wait until today during my usual Thursday visit with gramps. That way, I can talk to her face-to-face.
It’s fairly obvious she’s seen the condemning news story on me. It’s everywhere right now. The hottest story out there. Everyone has an opinion about what happened, how it was handled, and what a douche I was. The news outlets have done everything to make it sound more titillating and scandalous then it really was. One of the newspapers even tracked down Callie (yes, that was her name) and gotten a full account from her point of view on what went down that night. As in, her account of going down on me.
Christ, I hope she earned some money for that, because it made her sound like a whore anyway. Everyone is painting me as a fucking loser. Some sleazy, jerk athlete who treats women like dirt. In hindsight, maybe I did. Getting a girl, who is barely legal, to suck me off in the front seat of my car in a parking lot is kind of a douche thing to do.
Believe me. I get that. And I’ve owned up to my behavior. I’ve worked hard to change my lifestyle. To be a better man.
Ainsley has made me see that change was possible. Being with her has changed me. I’m not the same guy I was two months ago.
Ainsley, with her kind heart, positive outlook on life and all around sweetness, has touched something inside me that was buried for years. In fact, since my parent’s divorce, my philosophy on love and relationships has been tarnished.