Jacaranda

by Mandy Magro

  ‘Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that, with a few beverages to wash it all down. Nothing too fancy but it’ll hit the spot at lunch time.’ Mark wiped his dirty hands on his jeans and took a quick look around the stables. ‘Right, I think we’re good to go.’

  ‘Excellent. It’s a perfect day for a leisurely ride, with those endless blue skies and just a few clouds floating about to give us some shade,’ Molly said as she looked to the heavens above, squinting from the sun.

  ‘It’s always a good day for a ride I reckon, Molly,’ Mark said as he pulled himself up in the saddle of the gelding. ‘Rain, hail or shine. Especially with you.’

  Heath felt the sap from the mangoes burning the sensitive skin on his lips. He instinctively rubbed them with his fingers, wincing when he realised he’d probably just put more sap there. He wasn’t often stupid enough to get sap on his face, always aware to keep it well away from his eyes when he was picking, but today his thoughts weren’t on the job at all. They were on Molly.

  He reflected back to last night, when over a few beers Molly had casually mentioned she was going for a horse ride with Mark. Heath had felt jealously rising up from his heart and into his throat, threatening to cut off his airways. He had quickly made the excuse that he needed to use the loo, escaping into the soothing darkness of the night towards the outside toilet. He had slumped down on the ground, hanging his head in his hands, the thought of Molly being out of his reach making him breathless with heartache.

  All he wanted to do was hold her close to him, to tell her how much he felt for her. But why bother when she had eyes for another man? He had dug deep within his soul, trying to find the courage to let go of her, just like he’d had to do with Jenny. If there was a God, why was he being so damn cruel? Molly obviously didn’t feel the same about Heath, choosing to ignore all his efforts and instead focusing her attention on Mark. She could clearly see something in Mark that he couldn’t. He needed to find a way to stop loving her, or the jealousy might turn him bitter and that would destroy his and Molly’s friendship. She meant too much to him for that to happen. It was important that Molly and Rose remained in his life, even if it meant watching Molly fall in love with another man. As long as she was happy, that should be all that mattered.

  He had sat there for so long, preoccupied by his thoughts, that when he had got back to the workers’ cottage Molly had gone home. He had retired to bed, defeated by the torrent of emotions he was experiencing, falling into a fitful sleep crammed with bad dreams. And he had woken to begin the day feeling exactly the same, his feelings for her still there, still consuming him.

  ‘You with us today, mate?’ Trev called from the other side of the huge Bowen mango tree.

  ‘Yeah, sorry, just having a bad day, that’s all,’ Heath called back as a mango slid from his long picking stick and plummeted to the ground, splattering as it hit. ‘Shit!’ he grumbled.

  ‘No worries. We all have our bad days, buddy,’ Trev replied, a rollie hanging from his parched lips as he heaved a heavy crate of mangoes off the ground to chuck up on the back of the old farm ute.

  Heath clobbered a march fly that was feasting on his forearm, its serrated mandibles leaving a massive welt the size of Mount Everest and itchy as hell. Just another bite to add to the hundred he had already endured today. Everything was annoying him and he just wanted to punch something. What was he going to do to get over her?

  ‘Smoko time!’ Kenny called from the cherry picker. It was positioned high up in the sky as Kenny reached out with his picking stick, wobbling on one leg to grab the final mango from the top of the tree he was working on. Kenny may have been a laid-back kind of guy but when it came to smoko time he was always on the ball, counting down the seconds to the fifteen-minute break they had to sit in the shade of the trees and rest their legs.

  The call for smoko was music to Heath’s ears. He wandered over to the back of the ute and unpacked the cane smoko basket which, as always, held a flask of coffee strong enough to keep you awake for a week, and a packet of Arnott’s assorted biscuits. He filled three plastic mugs with the steaming coffee and flipped three crates upside down so he, Trev and Kenny had somewhere to relax in the shade of the mango trees. He sat down with a groan, his legs weary, watching as Kenny carefully lowered the cherry picker down to the ground then step out through the small safety gate with caution.

  ‘You look so serious when you’re coming back down to earth now, Kenny. That fall a few months back really put the wind up you, mate, didn’t it?’ Heath said, dunking a butternut biscuit in his coffee and losing half of it to the bottom of the cup. He huffed. It just wasn’t his day, or week, or month for that matter.

  ‘It taught me a lesson or two. Trust me to be the one to have an accident like that. I felt like a right tool.’ Kenny grinned as he wiped his dirty hands on his already grimy jeans before grabbing a handful of biscuits from the packet to munch on.

  ‘Yeah, I reckon. Only you’d be capable of forgetting you were still up in the air and not on the ground before you stepped out the gate and fell five metres. Not to mention landing on your pinkie and breaking it.’ Trev chuckled.

  Kenny held his little finger up in the air and wriggled it, a cheeky smile crossing his lips. ‘It’s made a full recovery though. I was a bit worried that I was going to lose the capacity to pick my nose with it.’

  ‘Good on you, Kenny.’ Heath chuckled as he counted his blessings for having such great mates around to give him a laugh. Lord knows he needed it at the moment.

  Molly was relieved when she spotted the dam shimmering in the distance. She was boiling up in the merciless heat and couldn’t wait to dive into the cool water. A few ducks floated peacefully on the dam, ducking their heads occasionally for a nibble of what lay beneath. Two wallabies drinking on the far side of the water sensed the movement of the horses and made a mad dash to the safety of the thick scrub beyond, vanishing within seconds.

  Molly and Mark dismounted the horses and left them to rest under the shade of a massive red gum, making sure they could reach the water for a long drink. Gorgeous waterlilies with magically buoyant leaves and spellbinding dusty-pink flowers covered nearly half the dam’s surface. It astonished Molly how strong the leaves were – allowing frogs to freely bounce from leaf to leaf across the water – and she loved how they worshipped the sun by day and closed up in floral slumber at night. It was amazing. The workings of nature constantly charmed and mesmerised her, making her feel so fortunate to be surrounded by its astounding beauty every day.

  ‘Wow, this place is just beautiful, Mark! What a place for lunch. I’d rather be here having a picnic than eating at some flash restaurant any day,’ she gasped, her eyes wide as she took in the view before her.

  ‘I thought you’d like it. There’s just something magical about it, I reckon.’ Mark smiled as he unpacked a tub of potato salad and a barbecued chook along with buttered bread rolls and paper plates to eat it all on.

  Molly smiled affectionately back at him; she was starting to feel so comfortable in his company. She decided today was the day – she was going to tell him about Rose – and this was the perfect place to do it.

  They tucked into the food, licking the creamy potato salad from their lips as they chatted easily, chasing away the flies that seemed determined to stick to them like superglue.

  ‘So, Molly, I’ve been meaning to ask you, how would you feel about us going on an official date sometime?’ Mark asked casually between bites of his chicken roll.

  Molly nodded, smiling. ‘I’d love to, Mark. How about dinner down at the Bull Bar, sometime this week?’

  Mark looked chuffed. ‘Great! That’s a date then, as long as that lesbo barmaid steers well clear of me.’

  Molly nearly choked. ‘You’ve got to be joking, right? Don’t tell me you’ve got something against lesbians?’

  ‘I just don’t agree with it, that’s all. So, I’d rather not be around them.’

  Molly held his stare, her blood boiling. ‘I
’m sorry to hear that. My best mate, Jade, is a lesbian, and it hasn’t been easy for her. Too many people are quick to judge when they don’t even know the person in the first place.’

  Mark look astonished. ‘Oh, crap. I really put my foot in my mouth then, didn’t I? Sorry, Molly, I didn’t mean to offend you, or Jade for that matter. I just can’t get my head around two women or two men being together. It makes my skin crawl.’

  Molly looked away, saddened by his point of view. Did this change the way she felt about him? Should it? She didn’t know what to think. They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of them knowing what to say until Mark shuffled over next to her, taking her hand in his.

  ‘I can see I’ve really upset you and I’m truly sorry. I promise to keep my opinions about it to myself from now on, okay?’

  Molly looked at him, squeezing his hand, wanting to believe him. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Good. Let’s just get on with enjoying the day.’ He leant in and pulled Molly close, and before she knew what was happening, Mark laid a lingering kiss on her lips. Molly felt her head spin, and blushed as Mark pulled away. He smiled at her and rested his hand on her thigh as he continued chatting, like the kiss was no big deal.

  ‘So, how did your little girl go on her first day back at school this morning?’

  ‘She loves going to school so there were no dramas.’

  ‘She sounds like a real little cutie. I hope I’ll get to meet her one of these days.’

  ‘Oh, um, well, maybe on the weekend I can bring her over for a swim in the dam? She’d love that.’

  ‘Ah, no rush, Molly, there’s plenty of time for that,’ Mark replied offhandedly, swishing away a fly from his face. ‘I’m just enjoying spending time with you at the moment. So tell me, what’s the story with her father? Does he still live around here or did he take off?’

  Molly froze, panic rising up in her throat. She wanted to scream out the words she’d been dying to speak for years, but they were all a jumble in her head. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She knew what she had to say would shock Mark to the core.

  Mark obviously noticed her shaking. Reaching out, he gently put his hand on her back.

  ‘I’m sorry, Molly. You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s none of my business. I’m way out of line for even asking. Just forget I did.’

  Molly picked up a twig and began scraping at the ground with it like she was digging her way to China. She rummaged around in her mind to find the right words, keeping her gaze glued to the earth, not wanting to look Mark in the eyes for now. ‘No, Mark. I’m the one in the wrong here. There’s something you really need to know about Rose.’ Her voice was almost a whisper and she wondered if he could hear the quiver in it.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Molly found the strength to look up and into his brown eyes, her soul desperate to see into his. ‘Remember that night we shared seven years ago, Mark? Well, my little girl is your daughter.’ She bit down hard on her lip, holding her breath, waiting for his reaction.

  Mark’s jaw dropped open as a look of sheer panic crossed his face. He shook his head from side to side in a daze. Molly put her hand on his arm but he sternly flung it away, glaring at her. He scrambled to his feet and moved out of her reach, like she was a poisonous snake about to bite him.

  ‘What is it you want from me, Molly? How do you know she’s mine? You had no problem having a one-night stand with me, so how do I know you didn’t do that at every bloody rodeo, with every other Tom, Dick and Harry?’

  ‘You were the only man I had sex with that whole year, Mark, so you have to be her father! I know it’s a hell of a shock, but I thought you had the right to know. And I was hoping you’d be at least a little happy about it. Rose is a beautiful little girl.’

  ‘You expected me to be happy about this? You suddenly telling me I’m the father of a kid, your kid? You must be delusional! I don’t want a serious relationship, with you or any other woman for that matter. I’m just here for a good time, not a long time. I don’t want the responsibilities of fatherhood or a committed relationship. Fuck! You should’ve told me this when you first met me again, not a month down the track! Who in the hell do you think you are keeping this from me? I don’t want to talk to you about this right now. I can’t think straight. I’ll talk to you in a few days, once I’ve calmed down,’ Mark roared as he stormed towards his horse, leaving Molly crying uncontrollably on the picnic blanket.

  She felt like he had just stuck his hand in her chest and ripped her heart out. Rose was a part of her and she loved her with every breath that she took. She was worthy of her father’s love, but now it looked as though Mark wasn’t capable of giving it to her and by the sounds of it he was only after one thing, like most blokes. She watched as galloped off like a madman, a trail of dust rising behind him. What was she meant to do now? Run after him? Stay here? Molly’s tears fell freely, her sobs filling the air as she cried and cried because her little girl’s father might never want to know her.

  Chapter 12

  A blue-tongued lizard dashed across the road and Molly instinctively swerved. The Land Cruiser fishtailed as she fought to regain control of the steering. Her nerves nearing breaking point, she pulled over on the side of the dirt road, just before the turn-off to Jacaranda Farm. She turned off the ignition and looked at herself in the rear-vision mirror. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

  She had stayed by the dam for hours, not wanting to face Mark back at the stables. She didn’t know what to say to him. Thankfully, he was nowhere to be seen when she had finally arrived back, so she had put JJ back in her paddock and made a fast getaway.

  She didn’t want anyone to see she had been upset, especially Rose, so she pulled a packet of wet wipes from the glovebox and did her best to wipe away the tears from her eyes and cheeks. Her emotions changed from one second to the next, making her feel as though she was on a rollercoaster without a safety harness. She stared back at her reflection, still in shock from the way Mark had lashed out at her. Thinking back to his reaction she felt overcome with anger, claws of bitterness scratching away the layers of her heart. How dare he accuse her of sleeping around at every rodeo she went to? And how dare he try to seduce her just to get her between the sheets? The constant attention and charm that she thought was a sign of him really liking her was just a facade. Thank God she hadn’t been stupid enough to succumb. And what about Rose? She deserved so much better than this. So much more from the man that was her biological father. Feeling a burning desire to escape the confines of her truck, she swung open the door and stumbled out into the long grass, breathing the fresh air deeply into her lungs. Normally, she would be cautious of snakes with such thick scrub underfoot, but today she challenged them to try to bite her.

  She slowly walked back to the car and leant against the passenger door, trying to rub the throbbing headache from her temples. She had always known there was a possibility Mark would react badly to the news, but it had been so much worse than she’d ever imagined. Maybe she was right to have been so cautious in the first place? Perhaps they were better off without him? Grief tugged heavily at her with that very thought. Was Rose going to have to grow up as Molly herself had done, without her father? No, she wouldn’t allow that to happen. She couldn’t. Molly angrily shook her head and kicked the back tyre with her boot, mentally slapping herself for believing there might be a fairytale ending with Mark. Only in the movies were there happily-ever-afters. It was never that easy in real life. She had begun to let her guard down – and look what had happened. She wished she hadn’t run into Mark again. Her life had been happy and peaceful before all of this. God, what a mess she’d made of everything …

  When Molly pulled up at the homestead Rose and Heath were playing with Skip and the puppies on the front lawn. It brought a warm smile to her face watching them together. Heath was brilliant with Rose, always happy to spend time with her, teaching her about everything from why there were clouds in the sky to why she must
never hop in a car with a stranger. Heath looked over and gave her a quick wave before being bowled to the ground by an over-excited Skip and practically licked to death by him and the puppies. Rose giggled, clapping her hands in delight.

  Molly took a quick glance at herself, happy that the redness had almost gone from her eyes and cheeks, before hopping out of the Land Cruiser and running over to join in the fun. She grabbed Rose and gently tackled her to the ground, laughing as Rose got her own back and began tickling her in the ribs. Heath joined in, pinning Molly’s arms down and assisting Rose until Molly begged for mercy, screaming that she would wet her pants if they didn’t stop. She sat up, playfully slapping Heath on the arm, tears of laughter still streaming down her cheeks.

  ‘Strewth. Talk about ganging up on someone!’ she said, still trying to catch her breath.

  Rose giggled. ‘Sorry, Mum, but it was funny watching you squirm like a witchetty grub on the grass!’

  Heath nodded enthusiastically. ‘Tell me about it.’

  Rose wrapped her arms around Molly, giving her a tender hug. ‘I love you, Mum, with all my heart.’

  Molly swallowed down hard, ridding the lump from her throat. ‘I love you too, princess, more than all the water in the ocean.’

  Heath pointed to Skip, who was doing his business right in the middle of the front lawn. ‘Better watch out for those barker’s eggs he’s giving birth to. Nothing worse than stepping in a big, warm pile of dog poo.’ He wrinkled his nose at Rose. ‘Come to think of it, I better go grab the shovel so I can get rid of it before someone does. Knowing my luck it’ll most probably be me.’

  Molly screwed her face up. ‘Dirty bugger! Thanks, Heath, you’re a champ.’ She turned her attention to Skip. ‘Can’t you do your business somewhere else, you grot?’ Skip barked back at her before running off to chase Mack and Sasha around the garden again, his tail wagging furiously.

  Rose sat down on Molly’s lap as they watched Heath walk towards the garden shed. ‘Mum, you know what I wish? I wish Heath could be my dad. He’d be the best dad ever.’