Managing Expectations

by Erin R Flynn

  “I will make it clear that your boyfriend is that important to you, and this matter is a line in the sand you will validly not budge on,” a familiar voice said from behind me.

  I bit back several curses when I looked over my shoulder and found dozens of high ranking Light and Dark Guardians, along with elders on both sides, who looked horrified in what I’d admitted. The one who had spoken was a Dark Guardian commander with immense political power, as he was from an elder family and a war hero.

  And oddly enough, really liked me… So yay?

  “Lageos,” I sighed, getting he was meddling again.

  “Yes, your father was always one to meddle but like you, finds it best to cut through the crap and get things done,” a light elder said. “I would like to suggest—advise—that you consider allowing your suitor to be tutored, given his importance to you. Your mates have…” He glanced at the other light fairies as if unsure how to proceed.

  But Darby read between the lines. “Better upbringings. Hudson is a prince, Craftsman from an elite family, even if not the main branch, and had the properness of that family taught to him, and Lucca is the son of a prosperous Alpha. You’re not knocking my poorer stature, but it’s a matter of learning to survive the waters if I’m going to swim in them.”

  The elder seemed surprised he caught all of that, smiling as he nodded. “Yes, exactly. We need to give you the right armor.”

  Steam about came out of my ears. “Who—”

  “Done,” Darby cut in, giving me a smirk when I couldn’t hide my shock. He rubbed his nose against mine. “I love you, agra. You would be pissed they would dare try to change me, but I agree with them. It’s also protection for you if I know more because I want to stand at your side. You focus on changing everyone for the better and shaking things up. I’ll learn the politics and traditions.”

  “But—”

  “It’s my choice,” he whispered, saying about the only thing that could take all the steam out of my argument.

  Yeah, it was… I just hoped it was the right one and all of this didn’t ruin him. Fairies weren’t nearly as perfect as everyone had led me to believe. They were by far the most moral and had the highest standards of any supe group.

  But that did not make them perfect.

  Not. At. All.

  23

  The rest of the semester blew by and the next thing I knew, it was another year done and a long break from Artemis. After some back and forth, I sat down and listened to some of the guidance of the higher-ups of both Light and Dark Guardians on a few things.

  One of which was starting to let the supe world see another side of me. At first, I had balked at it all, not about to have a PR campaign or image overhaul to fit whatever mold they wanted their princess and heir to be. That was just like the bullshit with the school when I’d first dropped into this world and if I gave an inch now, the line would be pushed back at every turn.

  No. Not budging on that had kept me alive.

  “That’s not what we’re saying, Your Highness,” Taeral had cut in. “Ignore the rest and hear me on this one example, and you are smart enough to understand the ripples of this change.” He had waited until I nodded. “Attend Artemis’s graduation. You helped raise funds so some of those students could graduate and—”

  “I didn’t do it for the bow or praise.”

  “Of course not. We know that without a doubt. You did it because you have a good heart. You are still a part of it and deserve to enjoy that win. So go do it. You are a part of that community. You don’t agree with everything they do, you might even hate most of the elites, but you are in that world, Princess Tamsin. You are not trying to be a radical leader and break away like the Underground.

  “We know this. We know how your adversaries lie and try to make it seem that way. You’ve had to be standoffish to get much of anything done. That’s them fighting and not your fault. Some might not, but I understand that you are actually an introvert, and going means eyes will be on you, and you hate that. You would rather stay home and send whoever messages or gifts of congratulations.

  “But being seen means others see you care about the community, not simply want to change it. Go make a short appearance and show your support. Go be there as part of the team of the scholarship students when too many in the audience will be there for their bratty children. All we are saying is to put in some more appearances and show you’re part of the community.

  “You have this false image of thinking you’re better than all of them, and that could not be further from the truth. You hold yourself to higher standards and yes, look down on some of them, but it’s not your ego that keeps you away. Let them see that you are on the team of supes succeeding. That’s all we ask. Starting it now before we’re out and people find out who you are will help you vastly later.”

  They gave me a few moments to sit with that. It was Katrina Calloway who had broken the silence. “I agree. I would have suggested this one to you as well, darling. If nothing else, there is so much more to our world than you have experienced. Go see it all. Experience more than the snobbiest school with the biggest jerks. You could have fun like at the other events you’ve been to.”

  I had told them I would need time to think it over simply because I didn’t like them all cornering me to get their way. I didn’t want that to become the standard if they ganged up on me.

  But I agreed. When they put it like that with that clear example, I understood what they were trying to get me to do. And they weren’t wrong, especially what Katrina had said.

  However, graduations were boring. Even humans felt that way, so I would have been happier if they had picked something more entertaining, but I understood it as well.

  Which was how I ended up sitting through the graduation ceremony the week after finals were done and the campus was cleared out. It wasn’t as bad as I had thought, but there were a few times I had mentally debated if I could take a nap and anyone would notice.

  Something Darby seemed to fully know from the way he pinched me and seemed so amused.

  It might also have been my miming we should leave a half a dozen times. Hey, everyone had said quick appearances, which didn’t mean I had to stay the whole time. People saw me arrive. That was enough.

  Especially since there was no way in hell I was sticking around for the reception after. Nope. No, not happening. I was not brushing elbows with the parents, most of whom would try shit and test me in some way.

  I didn’t need the migraine.

  But apparently, one was going to find me no matter what. However, I wasn’t ready for the direction it took.

  Mel caught me outside when people filed out and it was clear I wasn’t staying. She had to attend as Artemis faculty, but she was one of the last people I would have thought would approach me.

  Since she’d had all the chances, all the time and never taken them.

  And with a hell of a lot less people around, even if she took us off to the side so it was only Darby and a few of her family I vaguely recognized.

  “I’m not sure I’m going to teach here again next year,” she said after several awkward moments of silence.

  I waited for more, but then realized that was it and she was waiting for me to react. “Okay.”

  She scrubbed her hand over her neck. “Larson is interested in taking over the power training after seeing how lax it all is, and he can do that and keep up with your specialized programs. Or your new friends have talked about upping the level here.”

  I almost bristled at the term “new friends,” as it sounded like a backhanded slight like I’d ditched her for others… But there wasn’t much else to say when we had to talk in code.

  “Okay, yeah, do whatever,” I muttered, shrugging when she couldn’t hide her shock. What did she seriously expect or want from me? We had barely spoken all semester besides the nasty exchange at Ainsworth’s execution.

  “That’s all you have to say?” one of her family snapped at me. It was then I recogniz
ed the woman… One of Mel’s sisters. The other two with them their brothers. “Mel treated you like a sister and you—”

  I snorted. “I wasn’t her sister. I was a filler until she found her way back to you and your siblings.” I gestured between them, all of them wearing matching expressions of shock. “I was a convenient replacement, like a needy puppy who has no one and will give all the love someone’s wants. But she wanted you guys. And I made that happen.

  “Hell, I kept pushing for it to happen because I knew she did. I just didn’t realize I’d be so fucking disposable the moment I made a mistake in her eyes, tossed aside since I was no longer needed when she had all of you. I did it to save her, and all she cared about was her pain as she turned to you guys and her clan. That was what mattered most when the chips fell.

  “So I was a fucking filler for her real family when she thought they didn’t love or want her and nothing when you guys accepted her with open arms. That’s not family, but bullshit, and I deserved better. I was loyal and put her first over my own vengeance with that bastard.” I looked at Mel then and wasn’t moved by the pain I saw in her eyes. “And you cut out Izzy too. She didn’t do a fucking thing.

  “I didn’t. That’s family. I found my family and new friends, but Izzy’s still part of it. She’s not roadkill and was never a filler. Neither were you. I would have given anything to save you, and all it cost to save your life was our friendship. So was it really the close friendship we thought it had been? Or was I like those other human friends you’ve dropped too?

  “I was another distraction and filler until you fixed things with your family and you found your place in life. Fine, that’s life. You meet people and sometimes you move on from them. You taught me that. I’ve learned it the hard way now too. But don’t you dare act like the wounded or betrayed one here that we were sisters when you walked away so easily when I did it all for you.”

  “Not here,” Darby whispered when Mel opened her mouth. He slid his arm around me and went to move us along. “It’s lovely seeing you, Instructor Rothchild. Have a wonderful summer with your family and we can talk another time if you need to with less ears all around instead of making a scene.”

  Damn. Just dayumn.

  “Peter, wait!” a man called out from behind us. “You are unwell. We see that now. Let us get you help, my friend.”

  I turned to see it was one of the vampire councilmen and he was trying to restrain a man. I flinched when I saw it was Councilman Shurr. Right, his first name was Peter. I hadn’t really cared enough to pay attention.

  Or noticed he was at the graduation.

  Something he realized when I gave him a blank look and it landed him like a bullet to the heart. Just to make it hurt worse, I leaned into Darby, and it was perfect he already had his arm around me.

  Shurr yanked his arm away from the other councilman. “I cannot live like this anymore. I cannot live with the lies it never happened. I know it did. I know she was mine and someone is keeping us apart. I don’t know who or how, but life watching another man, another vampire, touch her, taste her, and have her body when she’s mine isn’t worth living. I won’t live like this anymore.”

  And to the horror of everyone there—faster than I could even track with his vampire speed—he pulled a dagger out and slit his throat ridiculously deep with one slash. One fraction of a second and his throat was just gone.

  Apparently, that wasn’t enough because he then stabbed himself in the heart with the dagger. Even a vampire elder couldn’t recover from that without crazy healing or help.

  And I sure as fuck wasn’t going to give it to him. Honestly, I was in such shock, my brain trying to catch up with what I was seeing, that I didn’t even think to help him or know how to react.

  I also wasn’t the only one, as it happened in the blink of an eye, his body crumbling to the ground before my next breath. Darby hugged me to him as if saying not to get involved, and that was when it registered I might be one of Shurr’s only chances of surviving that if he wasn’t already dead.

  Yeah, right. I’d stab the rat bastard again.

  Instead, I watched the pool of blood form under him as the screams started when others caught up to what had happened as well.

  Darby tried to turn me away from it but I wanted to see. It wasn’t about some messed up… I needed to see what my magic had done. I’d done that to Shurr. I’d melted his mind with my magic and turned him into that crazy mess instead of his evil madness influencing him. I needed to get the full brunt of it.

  I let him comfort me for appearances when others blocked the way to do… Something. I also decided to swallow down my feelings for the moment and take the opportunity in front of me.

  I turned on my telepathy and spoke in the minds of all the vampire councilmen there. “And no one could prove it was magic. There was no trace of anything magical that unraveled his mind.”

  “You did this,” one of them accused me.

  “Thirty-three people died in the attack on Alpha Geoff’s pack. Thirty-three,” I replied instead. “Twenty-two men. Eight women. And three under the age of eighteen. This won’t bring them back, but I’d say it’s a damn good start to get justice for them. So watch your backs and get your affairs in order as all of you have just as much blood on your hands. Your punishment might be next.”

  I cut them off, letting Darby lead me away.

  One of them stormed over towards me, ranting and raving that it was all my fault and that I’d just confessed in his head.

  “Councilman, I understand you’ve gone through something traumatic watching your friend take his own life, but Ms. Vale is the victim here,” Headmaster Edelman said firmly. “Councilman Shurr has been stalking her for months and none of you did a thing about it. You had every chance to get him help and you didn’t. So I would stop blaming the woman you’re all obsessed with and maybe look in the mirror.”

  I couldn’t hide my shock any more than the people who gasped around us that Edelman had gone to the mat.

  “You work for us, Edelman,” the councilman sneered.

  “No, I don’t. I have to answer any valid questions you or any councilmember might raise, but I do not work for any of you, no matter how much you all say so. I took an oath to protect my students and I take that seriously, all students. Maybe try adhering to yours and we won’t have more situations like this.” He dismissed the councilman and waved for me to head out.

  I wasn’t shocked when most of the security from the school seemed to appear out of nowhere and flanked me. That was silly and got them involved when they didn’t need to be. Instead, I opened a temp portal from the center of them and brought Darby to my house.

  Where I asked to be alone and proceeded to silently cry all night, hiding under my covers. My magic had done that to another living being. I hadn’t meant for it to be like that. I was glad Shurr was gone but… That was monstrous. I’d unraveled someone’s mind and in a way no one could detect.

  And it fucking terrified me. There was no other way to put it. That type of darkness was in me. I hadn’t hesitated to do something so horrible in the name of vengeance or revenge or even justice. I’d wanted him to pay for the lives lost.

  But at what cost? Maybe it was the fate of any heir to give themselves for their people… Their lives, their souls—all of it. I might save all of Faerie, fairies, fair folk, and help the supe world, but what price would I pay? Who would I be at the end of it?

  Because I was already someone who could and would unravel a man like that, and I didn’t see that being the end of this. Not by a long shot.

  Would I have to become a monster to defeat the monsters?

  I fucking hoped not.

  The End

  THANK YOU for reading this book!!

  Thank you so much for coming on Tamsin’s journey with me. I woves all of you lots for your continued support and wanting more of my books. Please, please leave a review. It really helps me out to know which series people are eager for. And it’s e
ncouraging to get back to series when people are excited for more. I appreciate the time it takes and hopefully you guys love Tamsin and this world as much as I loved writing the series!!

  I’m still working on getting ahead and trying to get up a calendar and my shit together. 2021 is sucking hard so far for me, but I’m pushing on and honestly, just going with Dory’s ideology of “just keep swimming” so I appreciate all the patience. When I have more, I will post it.

  I know a lot of us are having a rough time and hopefully we can hold it together. We can all keep fighting for one more hour and then another and those make a day. Then another and then we won’t be so much in the shit. At least I hope so.

  Maybe we just all need more Vader pics?

  Stay safe, wear your masks, and I promise I’ll keep working on giving you all some nights off from reality with books to come.

  All my best,

  Erin

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