Homing

by Grace Livingston Hill

  So she turned to the quick settling of her room.

  She made her bed swiftly with the skimpy bedding the woman downstairs had given her. She got out her little hammer from the ten-cent store and tacked up her closet curtain, and then hung her meager garments on the few nails, resolving to purchase a few hooks on her first opportunity and put them up. Then very hurriedly she prepared for bed and was soon discovering what a hard, hard narrow bed she had tonight in place of the lovely soft one in Miss Leech’s room. But she was very weary, and it didn’t take her long to get to sleep. And it seemed no time at all until her dependable alarm clock was giving her the signal to rise and remember that she was no longer a lady of leisure but was once more a working girl.

  Chapter 11

  When Kent Havenner was out in the narrow street again he walked along briskly, thoughtfully, thinking of the girl he had just left. A most unusual girl!

  There were no taxis on this street, and so he must walk until he reached a more frequented district. He was not thinking of where he was going, either, strangely enough. The evening that had begun so definitely as a visit to Evadne, had ended with another girl’s wistful face looking at him as she said good night. And he so entirely forgot Evadne that when he reached a streetcar line that went directly to the railroad station he swung aboard it without thinking. His mind was on the evening’s events, trying to think them through to a finish of some sort.

  Once he glanced idly at his watch and saw that it was almost time for the last train to the shore, and that if the trolley was not interrupted in any way he ought to be able to make it, but even then he did not remember Evadne.

  He made the station just in time to swing himself on the last car of the train, and it was not until he reached into his pocket for his commuter ticket and pulled out inadvertently Evadne’s letter that he was reminded of the engagement that he had not kept.

  He stared down at the letter in his hand, and finally read it through again. It did not take long. It was just one of her casual scrawls. She never wrote a letter as if she really cared. She always made it appear that it was a privilege to be informed that she was in the vicinity and would deign to receive one.

  Old thing: Am staying over night with Gloria. If you could drop in we could talk.

  As ever,

  Vad

  Somehow this reading of the letter gave him a distinct shock. It did not sound in the least like a girl who was sorry for her part of their separation. When he had read it the first time he had only seen in it a concession that she should stoop to inform him she was near and willing to talk. Now a careless insolence was uppermost.

  “We could talk.” She promised nothing. There was no penitence. And why talk more? They had talked hours upon hours and got nowhere. Why should he expect they would get anywhere tonight? And in the light of the evening he had just spent, her letter seemed most vapid and uninteresting. True it was couched in the accepted parlance of the day, that affected indifference. Was it true that he had ever admired that style of address? Why should reasonable human beings affect a disregard of the decencies and refinements of life? Almost he could see from his mother’s point of view.

  Well, it was too late to do anything about it now. The train was speeding on its way. Even if he could stop it there would be no way station where he could get transportation back to the city.

  And besides, did he care? Had he the least desire to talk with Evadne? If she had anything worthwhile to tell him she would in time write it to him, or even come and see him. He was satisfied of that. She wasn’t in the least backward about carrying out any of her own wishes, and she would find a way. It wouldn’t hurt her in the least, even if he wanted eventually to bring her back to his wishes, to see that he was not as keen about her as he used to be. And even if she were now ready, after due coaxing, to promise what he had made a condition of their further acquaintance, he wasn’t at all sure that he could trust her promises. Why had he ever thought he could? And what had changed him, without seeing her again? How did he now know so well what she must have been going to say?

  Was it possible that it had taken that hour with the little clear-eyed girl from the button counter to show him Evadne’s irresponsibility? How was it that a girl like Jane Scarlett in a few brief meetings had opened his eyes to this and more?

  Or could it be that that quiet time spent in reading portions of the Bible had somehow toned his spirit to a place where he could discern between real and false?

  Well, all this argument with himself was nonsense of course, and why waste the time? Jane Scarlett was only a working girl, with a courageous and a brave outlook, but he mustn’t let his thoughts get tangled up with different points of view, and lives. He had enjoyed the evening, of course, and he had to own that he was glad he had got free from the talk with Evadne, but he mustn’t get the “Cousin Evalina attitude” as Audrey called it. He probably would seldom see Jane Scarlett again, but he was sure that her genuineness and sweet character had helped him to see the false in Evadne. Maybe it wasn’t being half fair to Evadne, but he didn’t care. He was going home to bed, and he wasn’t sorry. If he had gone to Evadne he would have had to take her to a nightclub, maybe two or three of them, and how would he have felt tomorrow after that? No, he was glad he had been so absorbed in thinking about what Jane had said that he had forgotten to go in the other direction. Probably tomorrow morning he would have to call Evadne up and explain and apologize, but anyhow he would have a good night’s sleep. That was better than going to a hotel bed at five in the morning.

  So he settled back and closed his eyes and thought of all he had heard that evening. And without his voluntary bidding Jane Scarlett’s face in its wistful eagerness kept coming to his mind.

  About the time that Kent Havenner boarded the train to the shore, the telephone in the Havenner cottage by the sea rang insistently, and Audrey answered it.

  “Is this Havenner’s?” a languid voice asked sharply.

  An old familiar fury rose in Audrey’s soul at the sound of that voice. Insolent, that was what the voice was, and her heart sank with apprehension.

  “Yes?” she said with crisp dignity.

  “I want to speak with Kent,” the voice drawled, ignoring the one who had answered, though she must have known who it was.

  “He is not here at present.” More dignity.

  “Oh! When will he be in?”

  “I’m not sure. He said he might be late.”

  “Well, tell him to call me up at once when he gets in.” The words were a command, as if they were being given to a servant. “This is Vad Laverock speaking,” the voice went on. “Tell him to call Maurice 1011-J.”

  “Very well!” said Audrey without a shade of recognition in her voice, and immediately there was a quick click. Evadne had hung up.

  Audrey stood there with her soul boiling within her. Was this what had made Kent stay in town tonight? Had he somehow found out that Evadne was in the vicinity again? Poor fool of a boy!

  So that creature was back!

  And now would Kent go into a slump again and be worthless as far as business or anything sensible was concerned? Just when he had been doing so well, and was getting interested, really interested in his work! Oh, why did Kent admire her anyway? Painted, artificial, unnatural creature! How terrible it would be if Kent should marry her! Mother and father would feel it so. And as for herself she would be entirely separated from her beloved brother!

  Not that Evadne was one who would long endure any yoke like marriage. And that again would bring about another intolerable situation. Divorce was utter disgrace in the eyes of their parents. In fact both Audrey and her brother had been brought up to feel that way about it. Oh, if there was only something she could do to save Kent!

  So, instead of going to bed early as she had planned, Audrey took a book and sat up and pretended to read. Though if the truth were known she did very little reading, for she kept continually thrashing over the problem in her mind, hearing again the ins
olent accents of that hateful voice.

  Also she had a situation of her own to ponder. A situation not quite as obnoxious perhaps to the family, but almost as perplexing to herself. Ballard Bainbridge was a talented scholar. He was so brilliant that some who knew him regarded him almost as highly as he regarded himself. He was handsome besides, and wealthy, a pleasant playmate when he chose to play. But did she want him in any closer relationship than as a playmate?

  The trouble with him was he was a cynic and a scorner. He had an innate conviction that nobody knew as much as he did. Not even God, or the president, or the Bible.

  Now Mr. and Mrs. Havenner were not distinguished church people, nor noted religious workers, but they went to church at least once a Sunday whenever it was convenient, and they did not like to hear even a scholar criticize churches and ministers and religious beliefs. It did not seem well bred to them. They liked the manners and customs of an older day, and thought it poor taste for youth to presume to depart from them. Audrey well knew that it would be a sore trial to have their daughter marry a man of that type. And then to have their son marry an Evadne, linking them up with a world that they felt had gone mad, and was no longer safe and sane and conservatively respectable, would be the final blow. Audrey was dealing with the family problem for really the first time, and seeing her own part in it as she had never seen it before.

  Now after considering her brother and the terrible mistake he seemed about to make, she came at last to face the facts in her own life. What was it she saw in Ballard Bainbridge anyway? Did she really think she was in love with him, or hadn’t the relationship progressed that far yet? Perhaps it was time she looked things in the face and settled that before things went any further between them. Could she ever really love Ballard? She admired him immensely. His brain fairly scintillated with brilliancy. His clever sayings were a joy, even if most of them did end in a sneer at somebody. And sometimes even a sneer at some pet idea of her own. Could she possibly fancy herself as going through life continuing to admire him, and to love him the way Father and Mother admired and loved each other? Listening to his everlasting cynicism day after day? Fighting the depression that came over her sometimes when he laid low some time-honored custom or faith? Not that she had any very strong religious convictions herself, or wanted to have, but her own nature was sunny and sweet and it depressed her terribly to hear constant criticism and sneers. His nature was wild and turbulent. Everybody wrong but himself, and he set to tell them where they made all their mistakes. Would he ever get over it? Would the time come when he grew a little older and still wiser, that he would realize that he wasn’t the only wise one in the whole world? As she looked at the matter honestly, without bias now, she found herself wondering if a woman could really go on loving a man, or even love him enough in the first place to marry him, when she saw his glaring faults as plainly as she did Ballard’s. And was it conceivable that if she should ever get up the courage to talk with him about it frankly, that he would consider what she said seriously and try to look into himself and mend his ways? Would he not rather tell her she was a mere woman and had no brain or she would know that her criticism of him was all wrong?

  Distantly amid her thoughts Audrey heard the late train coming in, and suddenly her mind reverted to her brother. Would he be on that train? Or would he stay in town all night as he had suggested he might and go even yet to see Evadne? She knew enough about that girl to realize that the night for her had just begun.

  More and more as she considered this, her soul rebelled at this possibility for her brother. She couldn’t bear to have her precious brother spoil his life. Oh, how did he get in with such a girl anyway? Did he really think he cared for that worthless selfish bit of froth? She had driven him once to take a stand, and then had sulkily gone away to Europe and apparently not even written to him all this time. Now she was back and was endeavoring to order him around as if he were an old possession of hers. After all this interval would he go back to her? What a sorrowful outlook for the family if he did! Would Kent stand for her high-handedness? He had always been so independent, so decided and self-assured! Would he let this girl wind him around any way she pleased? It didn’t seem possible.

  Then suddenly she heard Kent’s quick step on the path outside. He had come!

  But her heart went down as suddenly, as she remembered that she must give him Evadne’s message. Probably he hadn’t known she was in town after all or he would not have come home. Perhaps now he would take mother’s car and drive back. There was no telling. She began to wish she had gone to bed and not waited up to tell him.

  “Hello!” his voice came cheerfully. “You up yet? What’s the idea?”

  Then he gave a quick look around.

  “Not expecting company at this time of night, are you? Or has that walking encyclopedia of yours just gone? Honestly Audrey, I can’t see what you see in that conceited ape of a Bainbridge. I thought you had better sense! If you attach that baboon, you and I’ll be two people. I can’t see him for a brother-in-law, ever. And you won’t ever be happy, either, with his exclusive company, for I warn you Dad and Mother won’t be likely to come and see you very often. Maybe you didn’t hear him correcting Dad the other day, telling him how to run his business on more up-to-date lines. If you had been watching Dad and Mother then you’d have known about what the atmosphere is going to be if you ever marry that bag of wind.”

  Audrey’s face flushed angrily, and then she laughed.

  “You’re a pretty one to talk. How about the girl you’ve picked out? What do you think Mother will look like if you ever bring that common painted Evadne home as your wife?” She looked at him with flashing eyes, and for an instant his own dropped. Then he looked up again, and laughed half shamedly.

  “Now Audrey, that’s not a parallel case. I haven’t seen Evadne Laverock for six whole months. She’s been in Europe. We haven’t even written.”

  “Yes?” said Audrey raising her eyebrows questioningly at her brother, and lifting her chin a bit haughtily. “Well, she isn’t in Europe anymore,” she said, studying his face as she spoke to see if he had known this, “and she’s waiting right now for you to call her up. The number is Maurice 1011-J.”

  Kent took on an annoyed look immediately.

  “What do you mean? Did she call up?”

  “She did!” said Audrey. “Which is the reason for my staying up, to give you the message, in spite of my good advice. You’d better call her at once. It’s getting fairly late.”

  “Thanks a lot, sister,” said Kent in a dignified carelessness, “but morning will be plenty of time. I’m dropping over with sleep, and I’m not keen to call anybody up.”

  “Well, but really, she was quite insistent.”

  “I have no doubt of it, but will you kindly let me manage my own affairs?”

  “Oh, certainly,” said his sister, rising, “with the conditions that I may have the same privilege.”

  “Okay with me!” said the young man yawning. “I wasn’t managing. I was just telling you what possibilities were ahead for you if you continued in the way you seem to be going. However, of course, it’s your privilege to choose between that know-it-all and your humble family. Good night, kid, I’m turning in. I’m frightfully sleepy!” and he turned and flung up the stairs.

  Audrey turned out the lights and went up to her room, but she lay awake for some time listening. She wanted to make sure that Kent didn’t go downstairs afterward and telephone Evadne. It was so inexplainable that he had taken her message so casually. It wasn’t like Kent’s former way at all.

  But though she lay awake for a long time, considering not only the possibilities connected with her brother, but her own as well, Kent did not go downstairs, and presently she heard his regular breathing down the hall, and knew that he was asleep. Well, it was most extraordinary! That he would get a message like that from Evadne and not even bother to call up! Well, if he was really going to be sensible and give up Evadne, perhaps she ought to l
ook into her own case and see whether what he had said about Ballard was really true or just a bit of foolish prejudice. She wouldn’t of course want to marry a man who would antagonize her own brother. He might get over it, but then perhaps he was counting on her getting over her feeling about Evadne sometime, and she never would! Never!

  At last she went to sleep, her mind more than troubled over her own problem.

  She was wakened earlier than usual the next morning by hearing Kent go whistling downstairs. He stopped at the telephone. She sprang up and threw her robe about her, listening at the door. Was he going to make an appointment for the day with that girl after all?

  Then she heard her brother’s voice clear and cool.

  “Is Miss Laverock there? Oh, sorry! No, don’t disturb her if she is still asleep. Just give her a message. This is Kent Havenner. Tell Miss Laverock that I couldn’t possibly make it last night and I got her message very late, too late to call her. That’s all. She’ll understand. Thank you. Good-bye!”

  Just that. Then Kent went whistling out on the front porch, and presently Audrey glanced out the window and saw him walking briskly down the beach in the morning sunshine and gazing off at a white sail on the sea.

  Now what did that mean? Was Kent off the girl for life, or just still angry at whatever she had done?

  So presently, when Bainbridge called up and wanted Audrey to go sailing that morning she considered seriously before she answered. Should she go and study the young man from her brother’s point of view, or should she decline and stay at home?

  She finally decided on staying at home. Why should she go when she had no particular desire to do so? Especially as she was not at all sure what her future attitude was to be toward this young man? Why go on any longer until she knew her own mind or heart in the matter! And why force a situation until it came naturally? Didn’t the very fact that she was not keen to go with him show that she did not care for him very much? Had she ever thought that she did? There were at least a dozen other young men who came to see her often, whom she would have liked as well. This one had simply come more often, asked her to go places before anybody else had a chance. Would she really care if she never saw him again? Would she be hurt or sad, except as it might be a matter of pride, if some other girl won him away from her? She had to own honestly that she would not.