Love Redefined

by Delancey Stewart

  “I don’t think I want Dad.” Plain and simple. Why couldn’t that be enough?

  “I know, buddy. But maybe you just think that because you don’t know him very well right now. It’s been a long time since you spent time with him.” Every cell in my body was trying to revolt as I forced these words from my mouth. I wanted to scoop Finn up and pull him into my chest, hold him there and never let him go. I couldn’t believe I was having to lay groundwork for the possibility that Jeff might have even a small portion of responsibility for my son. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to focus on the fact that it’d be much harder for Finn to accept if I didn’t seem to accept it first. And just because we had this talk didn’t mean it would happen. I was just preparing us both.

  “What if I say no?”

  I shook my head gently. “I don’t know, buddy. I think we’ll figure that out when the time comes, okay?”

  Finn’s little face was stormy, and I reached a hand to smooth the wavy dark hair off his forehead, my fingers lingering on the smooth soft skin there. His dark eyes stared into my own, so big and trusting. It was hard to even think about letting Jeff touch him. But Jeff was his father, and despite the fact he’d shown his worst side again when he’d come to my house, I knew in my heart that without the drugs and alcohol, he wasn’t a bad man.

  I sighed. “Let’s go see our room, okay?”

  Finn looked out the window, seeming to realize for the first time where we were. “Okay.” His voice had brightened, and he was out of the car before I’d even gathered my purse.

  Sandra Piper was at the front desk when we entered the massive lobby, and she smiled as we approached, greeting me warmly by name. “It’s so nice to have you back to stay for a few days, Michaela,” she said. Her face was weary, lined with worry and age, but her smile was sweet and genuine.

  We found our way to our third-floor suite and Finn got right to work exploring every nook and cranny of the room. He had his own bed, though we’d be sharing a bedroom, and as soon as he finished exploring, he climbed into his bed and switched on the television.

  I took the remote from his hands and pressed mute. “This will be okay for about an hour,” I told him, my voice full of gentle warning because it was sometimes the only way to keep his attention when I was competing with a screen. “I have to arrange meetings up here this week, and make sure everything is ready to go. After that, we’re not watching television. We’re going to enjoy the environment, and learn everything there is to know about the town of Kings Grove. Deal?”

  Finn’s lip jutted out. Learning about our environment was evidently no match for The Cartoon Network.

  “You might be able to get another milkshake at the diner…”

  “Deal,” he said, his voice low and reluctant, as if I’d dragged the word out of him.

  With that, I took my phone and laptop out to the expansive deck off the living room and settled in at the little round table, enjoying the view of the wide green meadow that sat behind the main circle of town. It was just after noon, and the air felt crisp and clean, and despite the tension looming over me—both about work and about Finn, and all of it related to Jeff—I was able to relax a little bit and focus on the task at hand.

  Chance had promised to stop by this afternoon, and invited Finn and I to join his business partners for dinner at his house in the residential village. His partners, I understood, were his brother, and his brother’s fiancée, who handled the design aspects for some of their projects. He promised we’d have plenty of time to talk business over dinner, and had set up additional meetings over the coming days with some of the local suppliers and subcontractors he used regularly, to help me nail down cost and schedule items as much as possible. I knew this property would be a big win for Chance’s business, as well as for me, and I kept telling myself that was the reason he was being so accommodating and friendly.

  But the kiss we’d shared—both kisses—were beyond accommodating and friendly. They were sensual and deep, full of some kind of buried promise that both thrilled and frightened me.

  Demonstrating yet again how unreliable a lock held shut my box of unthinkable things, I found myself constantly mooning about those two kisses. I knew Jeff was right. Getting involved with Chance Palmer in any way beyond the purely professional was a huge conflict of interest. It would muddy the waters when things came down to negotiations, and would make things near impossible if there were any conflicts during construction.

  I knew this was true, but I still wondered if there wasn’t some way to have my cake and eat it too. It’d been so long since I’d felt any interest at all in a man, let alone the kind of sizzling want that Chance inspired in me. It was tempting to just give in to the pull of his soft eyes, his warm presence. And wouldn’t it be possible, just maybe, that having a relationship with the prime contractor would be a good thing for McLaren? Maybe it would actually help things if there were issues—we would be able to work them out amicably, united.

  Even as I had this thought, I dismissed it. No. That wasn’t smart business. And it sounded a lot like the thinking of a woman who had two miserable dates in the years since she’d been miserably married to a man more interested in his next high than in her. Both of those dates had been disastrous. One of the men accused me of accepting his offer to go out because I was so clearly seeking a “sugar daddy” to take care of me and my kid. (That date ended after appetizers—that was how long it took him to power down three martinis and start running his mouth.) The second one got all the way through the meal, but only because he wanted to stay to see the final inning of the baseball game airing on the television that hung on the wall over my shoulder. Conversation on that date had been…well, nonexistent. Evidently I wasn’t as interesting as a bunch of spitting men in tight pants.

  Chance was different. In every way I could think of, he was different from any man I’d ever known and that was part of the draw. He seemed genuine, and intelligent, charismatic and charming but also willing to listen, to see another point of view. And then there was the physical side of things. No man I’d ever met could hold a candle to Chance Palmer in the looks department. If he hadn’t told me about his fiancée, I’d wonder how in the world he could still be single.

  After an hour or so, during which I’d been supposedly working, but which was really spent staring off at the inky ridge in the distance and thinking about Chance, I rose and went inside to check on Finn and grab a sweater. I was peeking in at Finn, who’d fallen asleep in the big fluffy bed, when there was a knock at the door.

  It was ridiculous and self-indulgent, but my stomach flipped like a teenage girl’s, and I stopped by the entryway mirror to tame my hair before answering the door.

  Chance stood there grinning at me, and the sheer beauty of him was like a physical blow. More than that, I almost flung myself into those long strong arms, but I managed to hold back. Mauling the contractor was definitely not in the McLaren employee handbook. “Hi,” I managed. He wore a forest green sweater, the collar of a blue-checked oxford shirt showing above the edge and giving him a put-together casual look that sent my insides into another quiver. As I waved him inside, I couldn’t help noticing the way he filled out his dark jeans, and the heat of a telltale blush crept up my neck.

  Great. Now I was ogling the contractor. Also not in the handbook.

  “Was the drive up okay?” He asked. His eyes swept the main room. “Where’s Finn?”

  “He fell asleep in the bedroom watching TV,” I told him. “So we have a few minutes to chat.”

  “All right,” Chance said, settling into a chair. “I’ll fill you in on the agenda for the next couple days, and then we can head over to my place to meet Sam and Miranda.”

  “Sounds good.” I sat across from him, crossing my legs and doing my best to put on my business face, but his words made it hard for me to focus on being business Mike.

  “Any new developments on the Jeff front? Did he make any trouble for you after he saw me at your house? I
felt terrible about that, Mike.” Chance’s eyes were dark with concern, and he leaned forward, resting his forearms on those strong legs, the posture of a guy who actually wanted to know what was going on in my life. Besides my mother, whose presence sometimes felt crowding and overwhelming, I couldn’t think of anyone in my life who really cared, really knew what was going on with me. I had good friends in college, but when I started working and met Jeff, things got busy and I’d never managed to keep up with social calls. My heart warmed at the realization that Chance did actually care. I gave up trying to be businesslike. It was pointless.

  “I was in San Jose yesterday, actually, to meet with Harvey—his dad. He pretty much warned me that he’s taking both proposals seriously, and since Jeff’s got the son card to play, I’m probably at a disadvantage.”

  “You’ve got the grandson card, though, right?”

  I lifted a shoulder. “I guess, but Jeff’s Finn’s dad, so I don’t really corner the market on that one, either.”

  Chance’s smile didn’t falter. “I’m not worried. You’ll nail this. We’ll nail it together.”

  My face surely gave away my own doubts.

  “Hey, Mike. Don’t worry, okay?” He reached out and took my hand, and the warmth of his skin on mine was reassuring. “You’ve got the experience, and we have a solid team. We’ve got this.” Chance seemed like he needed reassurance too, and it was touching to see his concern over Finn.

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head, turning my palm to slide against his, staring at his big hand wrapped around my smaller one.

  “Faith,” he said, sounding more certain than either of us felt.

  We were silent a moment, then I sighed and looked up into his face. Those moon-gray eyes were on my face, wide and deep, and I was tempted to tumble into them and stay there, drowning in Chance’s reassuring gaze.

  “Should we wake Finn up and head over to my house? I’ve got a surprise for him there.”

  My heart skipped again. I loved how Chance always thought of my son, always considered what he would like or need. “What surprise?”

  “Maybe you’re not clear about the definition of that word,” he teased, the eyes glinting as he rose and pulled me to standing. “If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise. Go wake him up,” he said. “And you guys should bring warm coats—they’re saying it might snow.”

  “You’re kidding.” I glanced past him to the darkening sky outside. There had been a cool layer of something unidentifiable in the air when I’d been on the patio earlier, almost a tangible change in the atmosphere. Was that what people meant when they said they could smell snow coming?

  “Not kidding,” he assured me. “Come on, let’s go.” He grinned at me and I couldn’t help the responding happiness that rose inside me as I looked over my shoulder, heading for the bedroom. Chance’s superpower was hard at work, and I was swept up in his certainty. It felt good. Solid and reassuring. I was beginning to think it might be something I could depend on in the midst of a life where I always had to depend on myself only.

  Chapter 13

  Chance

  I led Finn and Mike to my truck, and drove them into the little village behind Kings Grove with a strange feeling of pride building inside me. When I’d met Rebecca, it was different—I was interested in putting everything I’d been, everything I’d come from, behind me. But with Mike? Kings Grove was inherent to whatever lay between us, and the magic that infused my hometown was part of the thing growing between us. I was proud of my home, of this place, and I wanted her to love it. When I glanced over to see the quiet smile on her lips as I guided the truck slowly over the little roads between the cabins, I could see she already did.

  “It’s so charming,” she said, watching out the window.

  “It does have a kind of rustic charm,” I agreed.

  “These houses,” she said, her voice almost reverent. “They’re just so unique and colorful. Finn, look at the little blue A-frame.”

  I drove slowly as Mike and Finn commented on the different shapes and styles of mountain homes. Many of the cabins around the central meadow of Kings Grove’s residential village were small and basic. Lots of them were like the one Sam and I had grown up in, constructed in additions and phases over many decades and upgraded as things like electricity and indoor plumbing became commonplace. But there were a few other houses that were far from rustic. I made a little detour and approached the top of a gravel drive, where the village’s most notable house seemed to perch on a rock, half of the house appearing to grow out of solid granite.

  “Oh my God, that’s incredible,” Mike breathed.

  “It’s like a rock house!” Finn said. “Did the rock fall on it?”

  “That’s Connor and Maddie’s place. He had it built around that huge boulder.” It was a great example of the way a luxury home could embrace the rustic location, and I wanted Mike to see it. If Kings Grove was good enough for an internationally bestselling author like Connor Charles, surely it’d be good enough for the folks who stayed at McLaren resorts.

  I turned around, hoping Connor wouldn’t mind me showing off his house, and headed back around the meadow to where my house—and Sam’s—sat on a large level lot on a road just behind the central meadow. Our property was one of the closest to the forest and the ridgeline where the fire had burned the summer before last, which was part of the reason ours had been the only property burned.

  “We just finished these two houses,” I told Mike and Finn as I pulled around to the house at the far edge of the lot, passing Miranda and Sam’s place on our left. “We decided that two decades of sharing space was probably enough, so instead of rebuilding our old family cabin, we upgraded a bit.”

  “I’ll say,” Mike breathed, taking in the soaring front of the wood and stone house I’d built for myself. Sam and Miranda had been inside for a while, so the two stories of windows glowed a welcoming golden yellow. The house was tall in the center, with an extending arm out to each side, the entire structure set around the huge central windows and overhanging front porch. The driveway circled behind the house, and we pulled into my garage, entering the house from the back.

  “Your house is nice,” Finn said, grinning up at me and taking my hand as we entered the living room.

  It took me a second to recover my voice—the small act of having my hand held by this trusting little guy made my heart twist and I had to swallow. Mike noticed it, and met my eyes, giving me a warm smile. “Thanks, buddy,” I managed.

  Mike and Finn entered the open living room, which faced those tall windows and the sprawling front deck we’d approached by car. The windows framed the trees and landscape outside. Though my house was just up the property from Sam’s, it was oriented in a way that made this view look like one of unfettered wilderness, like not another soul existed for miles.

  “Hey there,” Sam’s voice came from behind us, where he and Miranda each held a glass of wine and stood in the kitchen.

  Miranda put her glass down on the counter and came through the open space to greet us, extending a hand to Mike. “You must be Michaela. We’ve been so excited to meet you. And Finn,” she said, looking down at where Finn was hugging his mom’s leg, playing shy.

  “Nice to meet you too,” Mike said.

  I made proper introductions, got Finn and Mike both settled in with a drink, and then we all moved to the low coffee table in the living room for some cheese and crackers.

  After a few minutes of small talk, I looked over at Finn. “You interested in a surprise?”

  His eyes widened, and he nodded, sending crumbs from the cracker he’d be shoving into his mouth down in a shower onto the floor.

  “Finn,” Mike said, ducking to sweep them up with her hand.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. I felt a strange rush of happiness as I stood, looking at the people in my house, the warm light filling the space and the cool night pressing against the glass. I wanted to keep it this way. For once, my house didn’t feel empty
and too big. “Come on,” I said to Finn, leading him back to the guest bedroom where I’d left his surprise.

  Finn’s eyes lit up when he spotted the wrapped package on the bed. I’d gambled a bit on this—I wasn’t sure Mike would be okay with me giving Finn gifts … so I hadn’t asked. And one of the presents kind of assumed Finn would be hanging out with me again some time, which I hoped would be true.

  Ten minutes later, Finn was running back out to the living room, decked out in the most realistic Batman costume I could find for an eight-year old, and carrying the complicated Batmobile model kit I’d found. “Look what Chance got for me!”

  Mike’s smile was wide and appreciative, and there was nothing in her dark eyes that made me worry I’d gone too far. “Thank you,” she said over Finn’s head as he marveled over the pictures on the model box, sitting again on the floor in front of the coffee table.

  “Pretty cool,” Sam said, grinning at Finn’s enthusiasm. “Did Chance offer to put on his Wonder Woman costume to show you?”

  Finn looked back at me, his eyes wide beneath the cutouts in the mask, and I shook my head. “Shut it, Sam.”

  Mike and Miranda laughed as Sam shrugged.

  “You get used to them acting like they’re still in junior high,” Miranda assured Mike.

  “We’re much more mature at work, though,” I said, hoping we didn’t give Mike the impression we couldn’t work together.

  “When you’re not wrestling, sure,” Miranda said.

  Sam and I went back to the kitchen to finish getting dinner ready, both of us watching over the island as the women talked quietly in the living room. “You finish grilling?” I asked Sam, peering over his shoulder at the meat he’d left warming in the oven.

  “Yep,” he said. “Quit double-checking me. You might be Betty Crocker, but I’ve got the skills in the barbecue department, and you know it.”

  “Meh.” I shrugged, but he wasn’t exaggerating. Sam was a great griller, so when he’d volunteered to do ribeyes for tonight’s dinner, I took him up on it.