Surrender My Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens): Cole Braden

by Melissa Foster

  He smiled and said, “You returned to your roots, the same way I have.”

  “Well, I never left. I went to Towson State, too.” She held his gaze, fighting everything inside her that was telling her to shut her big mouth and keep it to herself. She fought the edginess that made her want to bolt down the stairs and up to Tegan’s house and hide there until Cole had forgotten she’d ever shown up. But the hardest fight of all was the fear that when she came clean, Cole would thank her for being honest and then tell her it was best to sever ties and go their separate ways. She thought she’d prepared herself for that before coming over this morning, but now stone-cold fear filled her chest and prickled her skin.

  She tried to push that fear aside, but the shakiness in her limbs told her it wasn’t going to budge. One look at his thoughtful gaze, and she knew he was worth the risk. She forced herself to tell him the truth.

  “One of my students was in a terrible accident. He’d been hit by a car. It left him with two broken legs, broken ribs, a fractured hip, a fractured hand, and the worst part? It left him angry and bitter, and for a while I was concerned that he was going to try to…” Her eyes filled again, and she blinked the tears away. “I was afraid he was going to do something tragic.”

  Cole took her hand in his again and gave it a comforting squeeze. “Losing the ability to walk is hard for adults and children, but at that age, when kids are on the cusp of finding themselves, I think it’s particularly stressful.”

  “Yes. It’s good to talk to someone who understands. He has a really overbearing father who pushes him all the time. The type of parent who called the school every other week because his son, Andy, wasn’t getting A’s. His grades weren’t great, but he was a smart kid. I offered to come to his home and tutor him so he wouldn’t fall behind the other kids, at least not in English class. And, to be honest, I was worried about him. Emotionally, I mean. He was stuck inside most of the time, using a wheelchair because his injuries made it difficult for him to maneuver a walker or crutches—although he tried to use them.”

  “You did what any good teacher would do,” Cole said. “Healing wounds has a lot to do with healing emotions, too.”

  “I thought so.” She sighed with relief. “You’d be surprised, though. His father continued to push him, even with the injuries. It was like his father saw his injuries as an excuse Andy might use to get bad grades or something, so instead of showing empathy for his son, he basically ignored the injuries. And his mother is this meek woman whom I’ve never heard say more than a handful of words to anyone. Meanwhile, Andy’s getting angrier and more evasive with his father each day, but he’s working really hard to keep his grades up. I was proud of his efforts.”

  “It sounds like he was lucky to have you as a teacher,” Cole said with a serious tone.

  “Maybe, but you don’t know the bad part yet, and that’s the part that either makes people hate me or hate Andy, and honestly, I should tell you before I reveal what happened that I don’t really blame him, at least not the way other people do.”

  Cole smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and she wondered if he was reserving judgment. He rubbed his thumb soothingly over her knuckles and said, “You’re doing a good job of preparing me, but I’ve seen so much in my life, Leesa. I doubt you’re going to say anything that will shock me.”

  She looked up at the sky and said, “Oh, you’d be surprised.”

  “Try me.”

  He kept his grip on her hand, and for the life of her she didn’t want to pull away. Maybe this was all they’d ever have. One kiss and a little hand-holding. A few minutes together on his deck, sitting in the sun with the sea at her back and the scent of warm coffee and Cole surrounding her.

  She took a moment to revel in that before continuing to open the window to her past.

  “One afternoon when I showed up for Andy’s session, he was acting nervous, not looking me in the eye, and fidgeting a lot. I could tell something was on his mind, and I thought maybe his father had said something unkind to him.”

  “Did his father ever hurt him physically?”

  “No, at least not that I knew of. He’s just a very gruff man. Cold and determined, but I think he loves Andy. And, you know, everyone has their difficult days, and I can only imagine the strain it put on the family, dealing with his injuries. I think they were all under pressure.”

  Cole’s jaw clenched repeatedly. His hand tightened around hers. “Go on.”

  She looked at him for a long moment before speaking, trying to figure out the best way to explain how things unfolded, but she knew that no matter what words she used, the end result was the same, so she just let it flow.

  “That day, he told me he had a crush on me.”

  Cole raised his brows. “That probably happens often enough that it’s not abnormal. We see it at every level, the nurses, docs, therapists. He’s relying on you. It’s not uncommon to see misplaced emotions.”

  “Yes, and my first thought was that it was cute and normal, and I smiled, you know, while I tried to piece together an appropriate response. I could see that he was anxiously awaiting my reply, so I said that it was very nice of him and that I was flattered, but I was way too old for him and that one day he’d find the perfect girl who was just his age.”

  “That’s a reasonable response.”

  “Yes, or so I thought. But of course, I’m not a twelve-year-old boy who had his heart set on me telling him I was just as in love with him as he was with me.”

  Cole sat back and ran a hand through his hair. He blew out a breath and nodded. “How did he react?”

  She turned her hand over, missing the feel of his against it. “He was upset. At first he clammed up, and I tried to talk about it, to reassure him that this sort of thing happens a lot. I gave him the spiel about misplaced feelings and told him that I care for him as a student but in the way that was appropriate for a teacher.”

  “Oh boy.” Cole shook his head. “I bet that pissed him off even more.”

  “Yeah, it did.” She crossed her arms, a barrier between her and the truth she had to reveal. “When I left that afternoon Andy told me that he hated me and that he never wanted to see me again. He said I’d pay for treating him that way. I honestly thought it would blow over.” Tears welled in her eyes again, and she swiped angrily at them. “About an hour after I arrived at school the next morning, the principal called me down to her office.”

  Cole leaned forward and wiped a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “And what happened?”

  “Several weeks of hell,” she said flatly. “Andy said I touched him inappropriately, and it was his word against mine. At first my principal told me to stop tutoring him, obviously, and she gave me a letter stating the accusation. Everything moved really fast after that. I was put on administrative leave while the investigation took place. I think at first I was numb, in a state of disbelief. But the investigation was so invasive, there was no escaping it. They reviewed my employment files, which of course had no other complaints or accusations, but then they talked to other students, teachers, parents. I was so ashamed to have even been accused of such a horrible thing.” Every word brought a painful reminder of the shame and embarrassment she’d gone through. “And my boyfriend of almost two years worried about what his affiliation with me would do to his career, because he was also a teacher, so we broke up.”

  Cole’s hands fisted. “I assume he knew you were innocent?”

  “Yes, of course he did. I thought he knew me better than anyone, but what I realized was that we barely knew each other at all. It wasn’t that he thought I was guilty. He was worried that parents would lose faith in him because of our connection. It was a nightmare.” She paused, trying to remember how to breathe without allowing her heart rate to skyrocket, something she’d had to master to avoid passing out from anxiety during those first awful days. “I had a lot of supporters. All of my other students and my peers rallied around me.”

  “Family?” C
ole inched closer, when she expected him to put space between them. He placed his hand over hers again.

  She shook her head.

  “They didn’t support you?” He moved closer again, his inner thigh brushing her outer thigh.

  “I never knew my mother. My father raised me, but he died of a stroke when I was twenty-five.” She lifted one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug.

  “Aw, Leese. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this alone and that you lost your father.”

  His tone was so sincere, it made her sad for herself, too, and the endearment Leese made her heart squeeze.

  “I had Tegan and my friends, and that really helped. It took the investigators only a few weeks to see that there was no foundation for the charges, but by then the damage had been done. And those weeks? They were torturous. Every minute felt like a lifetime. I could feel everything I’d ever worked for—all the relationships I’d formed, the reputation I’d built with students and peers—being squeezed from my life like a wrung-out sponge. Even if people in town weren’t looking at me with concern or mistrust, I felt like they were. That kind of stress does awful things to your confidence.”

  “I can only imagine. So you came here with hopes that no one would know? You gave up your career?” He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “That took a lot of courage.”

  “I think it would have taken a lot more courage to stay where I was. They offered me a job at another school, in Baltimore instead of Towson. I haven’t made any final decisions. And don’t call me courageous just yet. I am so frightened that someone might have read about it online or heard about it, that instead of going by my given name, Annalise, I go by Leesa, which is also new to me.”

  His eyes warmed. “Annalise. That’s beautiful, and I still think you’re courageous. To go through something like that for a day, much less longer? Of course your confidence has wavered. You’d have to be inhuman for it not to. I’d imagine your entire life was scrutinized.”

  It was all she could do to nod, as memories of the interrogations flew through her mind.

  “In case you’re wondering, I was honest with your parents. I couldn’t mislead an employer, so I told them about what happened in Towson, and they were gracious enough to hire me anyway.”

  “Lee—Annalise, you were found not guilty of anything.”

  “I think you should call me Leesa. Just in case. And yes, I wasn’t guilty, but that doesn’t mean that anyone has to believe in my innocence. I truly appreciate your parents’ willingness to take a chance on me, and after what happened with Chris, I understand if you want to put distance between us, too. If anyone found out—”

  “I’d set them straight.”

  A lump formed in her throat with his response. How could he be so understanding? So confident in her innocence?

  “But—”

  He took her cheeks in his warm hands and gazed deeply into her eyes.

  “Unless there’s something more damning that you’re not telling me, I can see no reason to put distance between us, when what I really want is to get closer to you.”

  “Cole,” she whispered with disbelief.

  “Annalise, did you do something inappropriate to that boy?”

  She couldn’t form the answer, not when he was so close that she could smell the coffee on his breath, see his pupils dilating, feel his heat warming her hotter than the sun ever could. Not when the vehemence in his tone told her that he believed her, trusted her. Instead, she shook her head.

  He smiled again, leaning in so close his breath brushed over her mouth.

  “Then may I please kiss you the way I’ve wanted to since last night?”

  She nearly crumpled into his arms, unable to deny herself his touch any longer. “Ye—”

  Before the word left her lips, his mouth captured hers. Passion radiated through her with every stroke of his tongue, awakening a burning desire inside her like she’d never experienced before. He slid one hand beneath her hair and cupped the back of her head, angling her mouth and deepening the kiss. She never dreamed that his touch would feel so gentle and powerful at the same time. He leaned in to her, and in the next second his strong arms had scooped her onto his lap, never breaking their connection. One hand slid hot and confidently along her thigh, and the other remained on the nape of her neck. A groan stole from his lungs, and she swallowed it down, feeling it vibrate through her as her hands discovered the thickness of his hair, the strength of his muscular back. Hypnotized by the most luxurious kiss she’d ever experienced, she was powerless to pull away, even as the nagging voice in her head tried to convince her to.

  His touch, this kiss, was divine ecstasy, and she felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

  Which was crazy.

  Insane.

  Amazing.

  “Annalise,” he said against her lips, bringing her mind back to the present.

  She became aware of his rigid length beneath her butt, his chest moving with heavy breaths, his strong, capable hands roaming along her back, and her tight nipples tingling beneath her shirt.

  “Mm,” was all she could manage, desperately wanting those delicious lips of his back on hers.

  “Thank you for trusting me enough to share that part of your life with me.”

  The realization of how much she’d shared suddenly struck her, and he must have felt her body tense up, because he pressed a tender kiss to her lips and said, “It doesn’t change anything. I just want you to know that what your ex did? It was wrong. No man should ever put himself before the woman he loves.” He touched his forehead to hers. “He didn’t know how to love you, and I’m sorry that he hurt you.”

  She closed her eyes against the familiarity of his words and felt a hot tear slip down her cheek.

  “Leese?”

  “My father used to tell me never to settle for a man who put himself before me. I thought that he was wrong, that men had to put themselves before the women they loved in order to maintain their careers. But when Chris told me that he wanted to end our relationship, I remember thinking about how my father had been right and feeling guilty for feeling that way.”

  Cole kissed away her tears. “There’s no room for guilt when you care about someone. It sounds to me like your father was a wise man, and I’m sorry I never got to meet him.”

  They sat like that for a long while, with the waves crashing against the shore and their lives silently intertwining in the sweet summer breeze. Leesa wasn’t fully aware of when the change occurred, but sometime between their kiss on the deck, making plans for the evening, and when Cole kissed her goodbye at her car, their date had become a given rather than a possibility.

  Chapter Seven

  LATER THAT AFTERNOON Leesa had lunch with Shannon, Tempe, and Jewel on the patio of Mr. B’s overlooking the marina. It was a picture-perfect day, with sailboats crawling across the water in the distance, a young family fishing off of one of the piers, and best of all, Leesa had a clear view of Cole as he, Nate, and their father worked on the sailboat. She’d spent most of the morning trying to process his gracious reaction to her past. When she’d gone back to Tegan’s, Tegan had been busy editing photographs for her sister Cici’s business, which had left Leesa alone with her thoughts, giving her the opportunity to pick apart the emotions that swamped her. How could she already feel closer to Cole than she had felt to Chris after dating for almost two years? She tried to blame it on the relief that had come from her confession, but she somehow innately knew that even if she’d met Cole before her nightmare had begun, they’d still be drawn together like metal to magnet. By the time she met the girls for lunch, she felt like a week had passed, rather than a few short hours.

  Now she tried to concentrate on her new friends, but it was difficult when Cole was just down the hill, shirtless, his tanned skin glistening in the afternoon sun. Sitting on his lap this morning, she’d had the urge to rip his shirt off and lie beneath him. To feel the hard planes of his bar
e flesh pressed against her. To feel him inside her. The quickness of those urges had surprised her. With Chris she’d waited a few weeks before they’d ended up in bed. Weeks. Not days or hours. Sounds of laughter carried up to where she sat. She glanced that way, catching Cole midlaugh, one hand on his father’s shoulder, the other pointing at Nate, who was shaking his head. He was a beautiful sight, so unreserved and free. He was an intensely serious guy. That much she’d seen, and she liked that about him. But this. The unencumbered Cole tugged at her insides, too. She wanted to see more of both.

  “So anyway,” Shannon continued, bringing Leesa’s attention back to the conversation. “A few weeks after returning to Weston, I’ll be living in the wilderness to carry out the study.”

  “Living? Like camping?” Jewel asked. She tucked her blond hair behind her ear and scrunched her nose.

  “Yes. I’m actually looking forward to it.” Shannon sipped her iced tea. “I love nature.”

  “I’ve never been camping, but it’s something I’d like to try one day,” Leesa said.

  “Never?” Tempe asked. “Our father believed that we all needed to master basic survival skills by the time we were seven. He was in the military for only a few years before he lost his left leg from the knee down after a jumping accident. It never healed properly and they had to amputate, but that didn’t stop him from doing everything and teaching us to do it all, too.” She laughed, bumping Shannon with her elbow.

  Leesa thought of Ace’s gait and the way he sometimes had a pained look in his eyes when he thought no one was looking. She had wondered if that look was caused by something emotional, like a memory, or physical. Now she had her answer.

  “Once a military man always a military man,” Shannon said. “Right, Jewel?”

  “You’re telling me? Nate is always prepared, and he watches over me to make sure I’m always prepared, which I never am.” Jewel turned to Leesa and explained. “Nate was in the army with my older brother, Rick.” Her eyes became hooded, and Tempe reached over and patted her hand. “Rick never made it home.”