Surrender My Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens): Cole Braden

by Melissa Foster

  The fact that she avoided responding to the timing of her symptoms was not lost on Cole, but he wouldn’t push any further. He already knew that she had classic symptoms of a pars fracture—pain when bending back and rotating.

  He ordered the appropriate tests and hoped they’d return to discuss treatment options on Friday, as agreed. His bigger worry was that Elsie hadn’t been telling the truth about when her symptoms had begun and that they were dealing with a progressive rather than an early-stage injury.

  After work he tried to push those worries aside as he showered and changed and drove over to Mr. B’s to surprise Leesa.

  ***

  LEESA’S SHIFT WAS over in ten minutes and she had no idea how she’d made it through with her sanity intact. She’d been up half the night again, thinking about Cole, and when she was wide-awake at five o’clock, she’d accidentally woken up Tegan with the smell of coffee from the coffeemaker. While she felt guilty for waking her, at least chatting with Tegan had allowed Leesa to focus on something other than the man who had infiltrated her every thought. She’d confessed that they’d slept together, and since it was so out of character for Leesa, Tegan had taken the opportunity to tease her about having sex on her first date until Leesa was laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her cheeks. It felt good to experience happy tears instead of sad ones. Really, really good. It seemed everything about Peaceful Harbor was good for Leesa. Or maybe she was rationalizing because of her mounting feelings for Cole.

  When she’d gone out for her morning run, she’d found a greeting card from Cole on her car. It was one of those cute, old-fashioned-looking cards that had a black-and-white picture of a little girl and boy on the front. The little girl was holding a bouquet of flowers and the boy was kissing her cheek. He’d written Me and You and drawn arrows pointing to the children. Inside the card he’d written If only I’d known you back then. We have a lot of time to catch up on and memories to make. Cole.

  She’d been so touched by his romantic gesture that she’d taken off for her morning run with the intention of passing his house, hoping to see him. But by the time his beach house had come into focus, she’d felt that showing up unannounced again was a clingy thing to do—and she’d turned around and headed back the way she’d come. Now she stood behind the bar with Ace while he mixed her customers’ drinks. She noticed the tightening of his jaw and brow and the way his breathing changed when he walked to the other side of the bar. Ever since learning about his amputation, Leesa had been thinking about the young girl from her Girl Power group who had lost her leg below the knee.

  The other kids had been curious about her prosthesis, and the little girl had explained how she’d lost her leg, how long it had taken to get used to walking again, and eventually running. She’d told them how she’d experienced phantom limb pain, and her mother had later explained to Leesa that phantom limb pain was psychological, caused by the brain attempting to move the absent limb, sending out abnormal neural patterns, which are experienced as shooting pain. She further explained that a few weeks of mirror therapy, where the little girl had sat with a mirror facing the remaining leg while she moved it as she watched its reflection in the mirror, so that it appeared both the good and the amputated leg were moving, had retrained her brain and alleviated her pain.

  Leesa watched Ace now and wondered if he was experiencing the same sort of thing.

  Ace set the drink he was mixing aside and crossed his thick arms over his chest. He leaned his hip against the bar and narrowed his eyes in what Leesa imagined was the stern look he’d aimed at his children when they were younger.

  “You know, when my kids have something to say to me, they just blurt it out. They learned that somewhere along the way.” He smiled, and it softened the sternness in his eyes. “Do you want to talk about something?”

  Yes. She opened her mouth to ask about his leg, but at the last second she chickened out. “No. I was just waiting for the drinks.”

  “Uh-huh.” He unfolded his arms and turned to finish preparing the drinks. With his back to Leesa, he said, “That was a big win you landed at the auction the other night.”

  Embarrassment swept through her. “Cole asked me to bid for him.”

  “Ah, so you were just helping him out?” He glanced over his shoulder at her with an arched brow.

  “Yes.” She sighed and admitted, “Sort of. At first, I guess.”

  He set the drink on the bar and smiled. “Good. My boy needs to get out and have some fun.”

  She didn’t know how to respond to that, and thankfully, they were interrupted when Shannon walked into the restaurant. She was a whirlwind of energy, waving as she approached in a cute skirt and flowing cotton top.

  “Hi, Leesa.” Shannon kissed her father’s cheek. “Hi, Daddy.”

  “Hi, sweetie. I didn’t expect to see you today.”

  “I had to run an errand for Cole, so I thought I’d stop by on my way back.” Shannon’s eyes filled with delight. She tucked her brown hair behind her ear and nudged Leesa’s arm with her elbow. “I heard you guys had a lovely date last night.”

  Leesa felt her cheeks flame up. “We, um. Yes, we had a great time.” She set the drinks on a tray and said, “I’d better get these to the customers before my shift is over.” She felt their eyes burning a path to her as she served the drinks. What on earth could Cole have said to Shannon? She was dying to check her phone to see if he’d texted, but that would have to wait until after her shift was over.

  When her shift ended, she went into the back room to clock out. Ace walked into the kitchen area a few minutes later with that pained look on his face again. She took her things from the locker as he lowered himself carefully to a chair. She sat in the chair beside Ace, and after awkwardly starting to ask, then stopping enough times that she felt ridiculous, she finally said, “I heard that you were in the military.”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  She noticed that he took his weight off his leg by resting his left foot on the table stand.

  “I’m sorry to hear about your accident.”

  He crossed his arms again, and she wondered if it was a defensive barrier or a habit. She was so used to looking for nonverbal cues from her years of teaching that she couldn’t stop herself from noticing the slightest of things.

  “Thank you, but in every profession there are risks. As you’ve found out firsthand.” He lowered his chin, and his gaze softened. “I’m sorry about what you went through back in Towson, but I’m glad it brought you here. We like having you as part of the Mr. B family.”

  His kind compliment made her heart squeeze. “Thank you. Like you said, every profession…” She watched him watching her and finally found the courage to ask what she really wanted to know. “Ace, does your prosthesis hurt you?”

  His smile faded to a tight-lipped line. “No, ma’am. It does not.”

  The formality of his words spoke louder than the words themselves. “I’m sorry. I noticed that sometimes you look a little uncomfortable, and I knew a girl once who had phantom limb pain and she used mirror therapy. I just thought…” I’d make an ass of myself.

  Ace leaned forward, his jaw tight, his eyes soft. Leesa held her breath, feeling that she’d crossed a line from which there might be no retreat.

  “You have a very tender heart, Annalise. May I call you Annalise?”

  “Yes,” she managed with her heart thundering against her ribs. She didn’t know if she was going to be fired or told to butt out, but she probably deserved both for sticking her nose into his business.

  “You went through a traumatic time and you didn’t come out unscathed. Agreed?”

  Unable to find her voice, she nodded.

  “I’d bet that not a day goes by when you wish you could escape the hurt that accusation caused you.” He held her gaze, and she couldn’t turn away.

  Another silent nod, and he dropped his eyes for a beat. He lifted those warm, intelligent eyes again, and his gaze turned serious.
>
  “Sometimes it hurts to lose things, to leave them behind. We can’t really forget them, so they linger. A twinge here, a sharp reminder there. The things we gain from the loss puts perspective on that pain. We can try to bury the pain, mask it, ignore it.” He shrugged, and an easy smile lifted his lips, flashing a hint of Cole, which made her stomach tighten for a whole different reason. “You might not understand this yet, but sometimes that pain is necessary in order to move forward. There are times when those painful reminders drive us to be stronger.”

  She knew there was a message in his words that was bigger than phantom limb pain, but she was still holding her breath, waiting for him to fire her, and she couldn’t process any hidden meanings. It wasn’t until he patted her hand and said, “We can run from our past, but we can’t really move forward until we accept it. Pain and all,” that she realized he was talking about her. And his wisdom, the warmth of his gaze, the solid strength of his hand, made her long for her father.

  He rose to his feet. “I appreciate your concern.”

  Cole walked through the kitchen doors, his eyes moving quickly between the two of them, and her heart skipped a beat.

  “Did I interrupt something?” Cole asked. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder. “Shannon said I’d find you in here.”

  “I’m going to assume you mean Leesa and not me.” Ace patted Cole’s back on his way out the door. He hesitated and looked at Leesa again. “Annalise. Thank you for the chat. I’ll see you tomorrow for your shift?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  He nodded and disappeared out the doors, which swung closed behind him. Cole leaned in for a kiss. “Hi. Everything okay?”

  “Mm-hm.”

  “Did you get my texts?”

  She shook her head to clear her mind. “I haven’t had a chance to check my phone.”

  “No wonder you didn’t answer.” He reached for her hand and she took it absentmindedly. “Ready for your first guitar lesson?”

  “My first…?” Her mind was still stuck on what his father had said. We can run from our past, but we can’t really move forward until we accept it. Pain and all.

  She wondered if she’d ever get to the point of not feeling like she had to look over her shoulder. If she could ever use her given name again in public. She’d picked up on the way Ace had used her new name in front of Cole, and it magnified just how much of herself she’d left behind. She had the distinct feeling that he’d been trying to tell her that she had no reason to hide who she was, but she sure didn’t feel that way.

  She followed Cole out the door, realizing that she wanted the freedom to use her given name more than she cared to admit. Her father had never called her Leesa. She was always Annalise.

  Elegant and strong, like a river. That’s my Annalise. That’s my girl, he’d said.

  She’d thought she could leave it all behind and start over, but as Leesa rather than Annalise, she felt like a felon running from something she’d done. A fake, borrowing someone else’s career, someone else’s name—and wishing she had someone else’s past.

  Chapter Twelve

  LEESA WAS QUIET on the drive to Rough Riders, and Cole took that time to try to settle his own mind, which was still wrestling with Elsie Hood, her overbearing father, and her meek mother. He hoped her parents wouldn’t abandon the tests or the treatment. At her age, treatment would certainly lead to proper healing, but if her parents insisted that she continue to train, Elsie faced a painful future—he knew that even before seeing the test results.

  Knowing there wasn’t much he could do without coming across too aggressively, he tried to push those thoughts away and parked amid a sea of cars. Rough Riders was a local hangout for teenagers. Even when they weren’t taking the boats out, they were hanging out around the river. The river had a different vibe than the harbor. It was cooler, because of the shade from the trees that lined both sides, and Sammy was so effervescent that people had always flocked to him. He didn’t let customers take boats out after sunset, but Cole had spoken to him earlier in the day and had made arrangements for his and Leesa’s date, and Shannon had taken care of the rest of his surprise.

  He opened Leesa’s door and gathered her in his arms, kissing her softly. “You okay tonight? I hope it was okay that I showed up and stole you away.”

  “I’m glad you did.” Her words were honest, but there was a shadow in her eyes that worried him.

  “Do you want to talk before we go down to the boat?”

  Her eyes widened. “We’re going in a boat? I thought you were teaching me to play the guitar.”

  “I am, but you’ve never been on the river, so I thought we’d take the boat down a ways, have a picnic, play a little guitar…” He kissed her again, and her lips curved up in a sweet smile.

  “Cole, you took all my hopes and wrapped them into one evening?”

  He kissed her again, and the darkness in her eyes slipped away. “Surely not all your hopes, but I love to see you smile.”

  They headed down a path toward the boathouse. Canoes and kayaks were lined up at the water’s edge, and rowboats were tied to the dock. Teens and twentysomethings were sitting on beach blankets and hanging around by the boathouse. A young couple sat on the dock with their toes dangling in the water.

  Inside the boathouse Sam was hanging up life jackets and talking with a group of wet and smiling teens who looked like they’d just come in from a boat ride. He glanced at Cole and Leesa.

  “Hey, bro,” Sam said. “Leesa, good to see you again. Your boat’s all set. Grab some life preservers and you can take off.”

  “Thanks, Sammy.” Cole helped Leesa put on her life preserver.

  “This must look attractive,” she said softly.

  “You could wear a Hefty bag and you’d look hot.” He winked as he put on his own life preserver. “If it’s any consolation, I hate wearing them, too, but Sam insists.”

  “I don’t mind. I know how to swim, though, so I’m not too worried about falling in, unless you’re taking me over rapids.” Her eyes widened. “Oh my God, you’re not, are you?”

  “It’s too dangerous for that in the evening, but if you’re into it, we can go some other time.” He helped her into the boat, untied it from the dock, then climbed in himself and paddled them out into the river.

  “Into it? Um…” Her eyes were as wide as hard-boiled eggs, which made him laugh. She scanned the riverbank as she asked, “Is there a place downriver to have a picnic?”

  Cole didn’t want to spoil the surprise he’d set up and realized he shouldn’t have said anything. “You’ll see.” He paddled away from Rough Riders, the lights of the boathouse fading into the distance as the river wound like a snake past the wooded banks. The smell of wet earth and evening rolled in, and a peaceful feeling settled over Cole, shifting his work-related worries aside and allowing him to enjoy the beauty of their surroundings and the luxury of Leesa’s company.

  “This is just what I needed tonight, thank you,” she said, turning sideways on her seat and pulling her knees up to her chest. She rested her cheek on her knees and watched him row.

  “Me too.”

  “Did you have a rough day with patients?” she asked.

  “Not rough. Typical.” He didn’t want to burden her with the particulars.

  “You saw that gymnast today, right? How did that go? Can you help her?” She lifted her head, and a serious look came over her.

  He liked that she’d remembered. “I hope so. I sent her for X-rays and a bone scan. I’ll know more after we get those results back.” A lantern hanging from a tree appeared in the distance, the spot where Shannon had set up the picnic for them, and he rowed toward the shore. “I don’t want to bore you with my work.”

  “Bore me? I miss my students so much, I feel like I’m starved for conversations beyond the best-tasting beer and lunch orders. Don’t get me wrong, I love working at Mr. B’s. I love your parents, the customers, everything about it, but I actually miss helping the ki
ds I worked with. That probably sounds weird, but hearing about your day is nice. I love that you help people. I know teaching English is a world away from medicine, but helping others is helping others.”

  He let the boat float toward shore as he rolled up the bottoms of his jeans. Leesa followed suit, rolling up her pants, too.

  “I can only imagine how that feels. You can get a job as a teacher here in Peaceful Harbor, can’t you? You weren’t charged, so there shouldn’t be anything on your permanent record.” A pain in his gut accompanied the words. He hated that she even had to consider such things, and if he felt a pang, what was she feeling?

  He stepped from the boat into the cool water and helped Leesa to shore, then tugged the boat up at the water’s edge.

  “Getting a job as a teacher means telling a new employer what happened, and even though I wasn’t charged, references come into play. I’m sure my boss would give me an excellent reference, but she’d probably still have to mention what happened. I assume she would, anyway, and it’s embarrassing even though I wasn’t charged. Not to mention that it would open up a whole world of gossip that you don’t need in your life.” She looked at the lantern hanging on the tree and raised a hand to touch it. “This is beautiful.”

  “It’s battery operated.” He reached for their shoes, and after they put them on, he laced their fingers together and said, “I wish you’d stop worrying about what I do or don’t need. I’m a big boy, and I can assure you that I can make those decisions for myself.” He caressed her cheek and kissed her softly. “Trust me, Leese.”

  After what she’d experienced with her ex-boyfriend, Cole didn’t blame her for being wary of his confidence, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t remind her every chance he got that he wasn’t her ex, and that his words always came from his heart. In an effort to get her mind off of her past, he changed the subject as they started up the hill.

  “Shannon helped me get things set up since I had to work.”