God Ain't Blind

by Mary Monroe

  “Hi, baby,” he mumbled dryly, barely moving his dried, cracked lips. “Ain’t you kind of overdressed for work?”

  “This is a skirt and blouse,” I told him. I had on a sleeveless white cotton blouse and a denim skirt. It was one of the most conservative ensembles I owned.

  Of all the people in my life, my husband was the only one who didn’t seem all that impressed with my weight loss. As a matter of fact, it used to amuse him when people mistook me for his mama if I wore one of my outlandish muumuus when I went out with him. He didn’t even notice anything different about my appearance until I had lost the first fifty pounds. And even then he thought that I’d only changed my hairdo. I had to tell him that I’d lost a substantial amount of weight.

  A thought crossed my mind that I dismissed immediately: maybe Pee Wee had lost interest in me because of my weight loss! I refused to give that possibility too much consideration right now. But if it was true, I knew my marriage was in serious trouble. I had no desire to spend the second part of my life trapped in a mountain of blubber—even if it meant he’d never make love to me again.

  Pee Wee washed his hands in the sink and dried them on a paper towel. “Is everything all right, Annette?” He glanced at the black pumps on my feet. I knew he didn’t like them, and had it been up to him, I’d still be sliding around in a pair of flat moccasins or flip-flops.

  “I guess it is,” I muttered, barely looking in his direction. Without giving it much thought, I uncrossed my legs and hid them under the table as much as I could. But then he concentrated on my face and hair.

  “And ain’t you got on too much makeup just for work? Y’all havin’ a staff meetin’ at the Red Rose bar today or what?” He stood in front of me, with his arms folded like a prison guard.

  “You think I have on too much makeup? All I have on is some lipstick and mascara,” I pointed out.

  “You look like you got on more makeup than Ronald McDonald to me,” he insisted, his eyes landing on my hair. “And what’s up with them girly braids? You ain’t no teenager. You old enough to be somebody’s grandmother.”

  “Well, I’m not somebody’s grandmother,” I snarled, patting my braids. They had loosened up since the incident with the bat in Louis’s apartment. I had already planned to make an appointment with my hairdresser as soon as I got to work. Not to have her remove my braids, but to have her retighten them. “And in case you haven’t noticed, there are a lot of women in Richland who are old enough to be my grandmother, and they’re still wearing braids!” My husband was losing so many points with me, it was frightening. I was beginning to wonder just how much more of him I could stand before I bounced a skillet off of his head. “And since Charlotte’s only ten, I won’t be anybody’s grandmother anytime soon!”

  He threw his hands up and shook his head. “I ain’t talkin’ about them other old women wearin’ braids. They could walk down Main Street bald headed and naked, for all I care. I just thought that since you are so, uh, sophisticated these days, braids done got too ghetto for you.”

  “I don’t agree with anything you’ve just said. You’re talking crazy,” I said firmly, patting the side of my head. I didn’t want to remind him that when the world-famous actress Cicely Tyson wore her hair in the same style, he’d raved about it.

  “Well, it’s your hair,” he remarked with a shrug. “You can do what you want to do with it, I guess. I just hope I don’t come home one day and see you settin’ up in here with no blond dreadlocks hangin’ off your head. Not unless it’s Halloween.”

  I ignored his last comment and took another sip from my cup.

  The stench coming from the sink was unholy. The fish were splashing around like toddlers in a wading pool. Water was all over the counter and on the floor. Had things been normal, I would have complained, sopped up the water with a mop and a towel, and sprayed some room deodorizer. But this time I just sniffed, sneezed, and rubbed my nose. I did get up and open the window above the sink, though. Since he’d made the mess on the counter and the floor, I’d leave it for him to clean up.

  “By the way, we’ve been invited to attend Jade’s wedding in two weeks,” I announced, returning to my seat at the table.

  Pee Wee was leaning over the sink, but he whirled around so fast to face me, he almost fell to the floor. “Say what?”

  “Jade is getting married in a couple of weeks, and Rhoda wants us to be at the wedding. Jade didn’t give Rhoda enough time to plan the big, fancy church wedding she always wanted, so it’ll be at Rhoda’s house. I’ll get your blue suit cleaned this weekend.”

  “Listen to me. You ain’t got to worry about gettin’ my blue suit cleaned this weekend or no other weekend. I won’t need it—unless somebody dies, and I need to attend their funeral.”

  “So you are not going to go?” I asked dumbly.

  Pee Wee gave me an incredulous look. “Look, I wish the girl well, and I know that sometimes I sound a little harsh when we talk about her. But I do not want to be in the same room with that girl after what she did to us, you especially.”

  “We have to move beyond that, Pee Wee. I’m having a hard time getting completely over what Jade did to me, but I’m trying, and I’ve made some progress. Enough to agree to attend her wedding. You have to move forward on this issue, too.”

  “I have! And that ain’t got nothin’ to do with me bein’ around Jade if I don’t have to be. Especially to see her get married.”

  “I totally understand. But just being in the audience won’t be that bad. We don’t even have to say anything to her. Other than to wish her well, I won’t say anything to her if I don’t have to.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” he replied.

  “If that’s the way you feel, I’ll let Rhoda and Otis know you won’t be attending the wedding.”

  “You ain’t got to speak for me, Annette. I intend to call up Rhoda myself as soon as I take a bath and de-funk. I know Rhoda is your girl, but she was my girl first. She deserves to hear how I feel from my lips.” Pee Wee let out a mighty breath and turned on the water in the sink. He leaned his head into the sink and drank straight from the faucet, slurping like a dog. I waited until he had finished and stood back up.

  “I’m glad you didn’t do that in front of your daughter,” I scolded. He ignored my comment as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

  “By the way, what man is fool enough to marry Jade?” he asked with a grimace.

  “That Mexican she brought home with her.”

  Pee Wee shook his head and waved both hands in the air. “I haven’t met the dude, but when you see him, tell him he has my sympathy,” he said, shaking his head again. From the looks of all the bushy, knotty hair on my husband’s head, it was hard to believe that he was the most popular black barber in town.

  “Is your decision final? Are you really not going to the wedding?” I asked.

  Pee Wee looked at me like I’d asked him to do a ballet dance. “I doubt it very seriously. And after what she done to you, I am surprised that you would even think about goin’ yourself.”

  “I’d be going for Rhoda,” I said.

  He gave me the most aggressive wave of dismissal he’d ever given me. He did it with both hands. “Woman, if you go to that damn weddin’, that’s all the proof I need to know you done completely lost your mind,” he declared.

  CHAPTER 39

  Pee Wee’s words had left me temporarily speechless. My mama’s suggestion that I “fix” whatever was wrong with my marriage echoed in my head like a veiled threat. How could I fix something when I didn’t even know what it was that needed to be fixed?

  Just being in the room with the man I had vowed to love, honor, and obey until the day I died made me so uncomfortable, I could barely stand it. I was glad when the telephone rang. Had it been a wrong number, a telemarketer, or an obscene caller, I would have prolonged the conversation for as long as I could, just so I wouldn’t have to continue talking to Pee Wee. It was not one of those three; it was even
better. It was my mother.

  Muh’Dear was calling to let me know that they were having a wonderful time and that they had already enjoyed a whole day on somebody’s boat. “I had me three of them sweet drinks with them little umbrellas. I got so tipsy, I almost fell off that damn boat.” Muh’Dear paused and laughed long and loud. I was so happy that she was happy. Especially given the hard life she’d endured and the fact that she’d raised me alone. “Your daddy is loungin’ on the beach, with a drink in each hand. And that Charlotte. That hardheaded scamp is in her room, whinin’, because she done already disturbed an eel and contracted the same rash that caused her so much misery on previous trips to the islands.”

  “Muh’Dear, I’m glad you all made it to the islands safe and sound, and I’m glad you’re having such a good time. But let me tell you something real quick. Jade’s getting married in a couple of weeks. I just found out,” I blurted.

  “Aw, shuck it! I hope Rhoda and Otis don’t expect us to cut our vacation short to come home for that. You know I don’t like that little jezebel no way. I loved her to death when she was a little girl, but she grew up to be a stone-cold heifer,” my mother hissed. “Let me go tell Frank what you just told me and see what he wants to do. Shoot!”

  “Don’t you dare come back home for that!” I ordered. “I don’t even know if I am going to that wedding myself.”

  “Oh? Well, do us a favor and don’t tell Rhoda or Otis you even talked to me or Frank. Matter of fact, if they ask about us, tell them we will be out on somebody’s boat for the next two weeks. Make that the next three weeks, in case they delay the weddin’ on account of us. And if they delay it even more, tell them you can’t get in touch with us at all.”

  I looked at Pee Wee and pointed to the telephone. He promptly shook his head and held up his hand. Muh’Dear made a few more rhetorical comments. Before she hung up, she complained about Jade some more, her arthritis, and about having to clean the fish that my daddy had caught that morning.

  “Muh’Dear said to tell you everything is going fine for them down there,” I told Pee Wee. “And in case Rhoda or Otis asks you if they can make it to Jade’s wedding, tell them that they are on somebody’s boat and can’t be reached. And make sure you say that they can’t be reached indefinitely.”

  He gave me a blank look and shrugged. “Whatever you say.” That was the last thing my husband said to me before I left for work.

  From all the smiles that greeted me when I got to the office, I decided that the Monday luncheon had gone well. I could see that everybody was busy making calls and dodging some of the colorful assaults that they received from almost every delinquent debtor they called.

  “Annette, I hope you are feeling better,” Gloria Watson told me as she handed me a stack of folders. “You still look a little peaked, though. Maybe you should have taken today off, too.”

  “I’m feeling much better, thank you,” I said with a cough. “Uh, did I miss anything important yesterday?”

  “Girl, you missed a hella good lunch yesterday.” Gloria followed me into my office and stood in front of my desk as I plopped down. “We had all kinds of Chinese goodies. Who would have thought that a restaurant run by black folks could offer that much diversity? That Louis Baines sure knows his stuff, don’t he?”

  I gave Gloria a noncommittal look. “He sure does. Oh, on the same subject, please call Hannah and tell her to send all the invoices from Louis Baines directly to me,” I instructed. “From now on.”

  Gloria hesitated so long, I glanced up at her with a slightly impatient look on my face. “Oh? Did she lose another invoice again?” she asked.

  “Uh, not that I am aware of. But since this is a new account, I’d like to give it my personal attention.” I cleared my throat and glanced at my nails.

  “And it’s an important account, too. Them oxtails over fried rice that we had for lunch yesterday were screaming.” Gloria swooned and rolled her eyes. “Girl, the only time I eat this good is when I visit my grandma or my ex’s mama. I have to put up with all kinds of foolishness from them just so I can get me a good meal. This is…this is perfect, Annette. This is way better than us having office picnics and them dull Christmas parties. And Off the Hook is off the hook.”

  “Well, you all deserve it,” I proclaimed. “I just wish I had thought about sponsoring the Monday lunches sooner.”

  “What about the rest of the new accounts?”

  “Huh? The other new accounts? What about them?” Gloria’s question had startled me. However, it was a reasonable thing for her to ask.

  “Yeah. Like the new office supplies vendor you decided to switch to.” There was a confused look on Gloria’s face.

  “Uh, I’ll give them my personal attention, too,” I said, knowing I didn’t need any more work than I already had on my desk. But I was glad that Gloria had mentioned the other new accounts. This way it wasn’t so obvious that I was singling out Louis’s account.

  Gloria nodded and folded her arms. She was so satisfied with herself that I could have knocked her over with a toothpick. I read her like a book, so I knew that she felt like she had a little more power in the office now that she and I were more civil to each other.

  “You sounded like you were at death’s door when you called in yesterday morning. I hope you are feeling better. I prayed for you last night.”

  “Thanks, Gloria,” I said, with another mild cough, trying not to overdo it.

  “I got some cough drops in my desk,” she offered.

  “Oh, don’t worry about me,” I told her, holding up my hand. “I’ll be just fine.”

  “Well, like I said, you still look a little peaked to me.” Gloria folded her arms and gave me a motherly look. “Now don’t you let this job get in the way of you taking care of your health. It’ll be here when we are all dead and gone.” She glanced around, then back at me, and said in a whisper, “These white folks wouldn’t jeopardize their health if we owned this company. We don’t need to do it for them.” She winked.

  I chuckled and winked back. “Gloria, if I don’t feel any better by noon, I’ll go back home,” I said. That seemed to satisfy her, but she gave me another motherly look before she left my office.

  There were already four messages on my voice mail. Two delinquent debtors had returned my calls just to tell me in no uncertain terms not to call them again. Rhoda had left an “urgent” message for me to call her ASAP. And Louis had called to say that he missed me and was “itching” to see me again.

  I decided to return Rhoda’s call first. To my everlasting horror, Jade answered the phone.

  “May I speak to your mother, please?” I asked in as nice a voice as I could manage.

  “You don’t have to be so rude, Annette,” Jade retorted.

  “I didn’t realize I was being rude,” I snapped.

  “Look, lady, you need to loosen up. I don’t know why you just can’t get over that little prank I pulled last year. I have.”

  “I’m sure you have, Jade. And believe it or not, I have, too. Now if you don’t mind, please put your mother on the phone, if she’s available.”

  Jade took her time responding. “I heard you want to come to my wedding.” I didn’t have to be in the same room with her to see the smirk on her face. I knew it was there, and I was certain that it was more severe than it usually was.

  “Believe me, I don’t want to come. Your mother asked me to be there. But if you don’t want me there, I won’t come.”

  Her response was a loud, exasperated groan. Suddenly, I heard a slap and then a whimper. From what I could determine, Rhoda had slapped Jade upside her hard head. That gave me a great deal of satisfaction. The next voice I heard belonged to Rhoda.

  “Hey, girl,” Rhoda said. Her voice was so calm, I never would have guessed that she’d just slapped her daughter, had I not heard it with my own ears. “I really didn’t want to bother you about this, but I need your help. I’ve got a hundred invitations to send out, a million and one things to atte
nd to before the wedding. Could you, uh, work with your friend Louis on the caterin’? At this point, he could serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, for all I care. I just want you to make sure that whatever he serves, it’s somethin’ good. Work out all the details for me, please.”

  “I can do that,” I said with fake eagerness.

  “I spoke to Louis this mornin’, and he’s very excited about it. And because it’s such short notice, he’s goin’ to get a huge gratuity.”

  “Will he be there to help serve and supervise?”

  “Well, he didn’t really commit himself to that. But I have a feelin’ his attendance depends on you. And, you know I don’t like to beg, but you’d be doin’ me a huge favor by bein’ there. You and Pee Wee.”

  “You can forget about Pee Wee,” I said quickly. “And my folks, too, for that matter. They are off somewhere on a boat and can’t be reached,” I lied.

  “Well, I didn’t expect your folks to come back here just for a weddin’. Especially since my own parents can’t come, either. But I am sorry to hear that Pee Wee won’t be present. He’s Jade’s godfather, you know.”

  “How could I forget?” I said dryly.

  “What about you? Please tell me you’re still goin’ to be there for me!”

  “I will,” I replied, almost biting off the tip of my tongue because I had such a hard time getting the words out. “I promise.”