God Ain't Blind

by Mary Monroe

  “Oh my God! Look, you’re in enough trouble already for stealing Rhoda’s money. We can fix that. But don’t run away, Marcelo. Get back in that car, and get back here as soon as you can. It’s not too late. If you leave now, you’ll make it back in time for your wedding,” I pleaded. “And I won’t tell anybody about this phone conversation.”

  “No! I’ve been thinking and thinking about this for a long time. I never wanted to hurt Jade, and I thought I’d go through this marriage just for her. But it was just to make her stop crying all the time about how jealous you were of her and how bad you hurt her last year. She said you was such a mean lady to her because of a little joke she played on you that she tried to kill herself!”

  When Marcelo paused, I could have jumped right in and defended myself. But I didn’t even bother. I knew that Jade had done a pretty thorough job of demonizing me behind my back. And I knew that it was beyond repair. That was why I didn’t even comment on what Marcelo had just shared with me. He was the one in pain now.

  He sniffed a few times, and then he continued. “I told myself to marry her, anyway, and maybe things would work out. If nothing else, marrying her would have meant I could get American citizenship. I told myself that up until last night. But this morning…I don’t know, señora. It all hit me like a bat! I don’t want citizenship in heaven bad enough to go through with this! I—I—I can’t do this! Jade is not the girl for me. I don’t know what she needs, but whatever it is, I don’t got it. She needs a king or a president or some man up high. Me, I’m just a little bullfighter—and not even that completely yet. I’m still in training! I have no money, no nothing!”

  I was so taken aback, my head was spinning. I had a dozen more questions running through my head. “Marcelo, had you gone through with this marriage, how in the world were you and Jade going to support yourselves?”

  “She told me not to worry, that as long as her mama and papa had money, they would take care of us! She told me she was going to make them buy us a house on Roseville Avenue, and it had to be on the same block as the mayor of this city so that we could rub it in his racist face, she said!”

  I got sad and angry at the same time. Just the thought of Jade expecting her parents to continue supporting her and Marcelo, and to buy them a house in Mayor Stargen’s neighborhood, was enough to make me sick. There was no end to this girl’s nerve! “You’re already at the airport, aren’t you, Marcelo?” I asked. He didn’t even have to answer that question. I had figured that out on my own when I heard a flight called over a loudspeaker in the background on his end.

  “I have to go now!”

  “Don’t hang up that telephone, boy!” I yelled. But it was too late. Marcelo mumbled something in Spanish; then he hung up. I stood there staring at the telephone in slack-jawed amazement. “Oh my God,” I mouthed. “Oh…my…God.”

  I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them, Jade was standing in the doorway, with her hands on her hips. She had the nerve to have on a white wedding dress, with a train that must have been six feet long, the way she was holding it in her arms. She had on a gold tiara.

  She looked me up and down as if I were less than nothing. From the horrified look on her face, I could tell that she was not impressed with the snug-fitting green dress I had on. I was so glad that I had not spent any money on something new and had not even bought her a wedding gift.

  “Jade, I need to talk to you. I need to tell you something,” I began.

  “Shet up!” she hissed, wagging a finger like a dog’s tail in my direction. “You listen to me, and you’d better listen good! You are lucky that I gave in and let you come to my wedding—especially after all you did to me! And if Mama hadn’t threatened to cancel my Paris honeymoon, you wouldn’t be here!”

  “I can be out of here in five minutes,” I managed to say in a level voice. I carried a purse with a long strap. It dangled off my shoulder like a snake with a big head. The telephone was still in my hand. I was itching to tell her who had called, but I decided to let her run her course.

  “That’s fine with me. But if you do stay, I would appreciate it if you would stop sneaking around in this house, tying up our telephone line! And when our phone bill arrives, I’d better not see that you just made an out-of-state call, or you’re going to be sorry! My mama and daddy have enough bills to pay without you adding more.” She let out a prolonged snort, and then she rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. Something made her sneeze. She seemed embarrassed by it, even though the only witness was me.

  She quickly composed herself and resumed her attack. “You are not at home! Marcelo might be trying to get through, and here you are, with your tacky-looking self, tying up our phone line!” she wailed. “If you just had to come here today, the least you can do is get in that dining room and make sure that damn fag caterer is doing his job right.”

  Like the prized palomino pony that she thought she was, Jade pranced across the floor, toward me. Her eyes looked like they were on fire. She snatched the telephone out of my hand so fast and hard, she almost knocked me down. Her behavior made it easy for me to report what I’d just learned.

  “That was Marcelo. He’s on his way home,” I said, struggling with my words.

  “He’d better be! And he’d better not be late for my wedding, if he knows what’s good for him. I’ve told that dumb-ass spic a thousand times not to mess with me. By the time I get through with him, he may be making arrangements for his own autopsy before this day is over. Where was he calling from?”

  I cleared my throat. “He didn’t say, but I’m pretty sure that he was calling from the airport. I heard flight information being announced over a loudspeaker. And, if I’m not mistaken, I heard airplane engines, too.”

  “Airport? What airport?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure if it was Akron-Canton or Cleveland.”

  Jade gave me a puzzled look. “What? What do you mean? What the fuck is he doing at any goddamn airport? Who is he…Is he picking somebody up? He didn’t tell me….”

  I shook my head so hard, it felt like everything in it rattled against my skull. Now I was truly sorry that I was the one who had taken Marcelo’s call.

  “He’s not coming back, Jade,” I told her.

  Her jaw dropped, and the blood drained from her face so fast, she looked almost two shades lighter. Words could not describe the pain on her face. It was a look of absolute defeat. Goliath must have felt the same way when David brought him down. It occurred to me that Jade might have to arrange for her own autopsy, too, before the day was over.

  I watched her meltdown in horror for a few seconds. I didn’t know what to do or say. I held my own breath as she began to choke on hers. It was the most profound panic attack I’d ever witnessed.

  I finally got my wits about me and did what was prudent and humane: I slapped Jade on her back until she was able to breathe normally again. She sighed like a baby for a moment. But a few seconds later, her eyes rolled back in her head, and she swayed from side to side like an old willow tree. With a loud hiss, she fainted and fell forward into my arms like a sack of dirt.

  CHAPTER 46

  Right after three burly paramedics strapped Jade to a gurney, her beautiful wedding gown soaked with her pee, tears, and snot, they hauled her away in an ambulance.

  Since it was such a nice, sunny day, most of the neighbors on Rhoda’s block were already outside or had their doors and windows ajar. A nosy mob quickly gathered in Rhoda’s front yard, trampling her neatly manicured lawn and littering with everything from cigarette butts to empty beer cans.

  Ever since Jade had regained consciousness in the kitchen, she had kicked and screamed like a hog about to be slaughtered. She was still kicking and screaming when the ambulance pulled away.

  Rhoda, almost as hysterical and delirious as Jade, rode along in the ambulance, and Otis followed in his Jeep. I decided to stay at the house to help Bully, Scary Mary, Lizel, and Wyrita deal with the stunned wedding guests. Some of t
he older women were weeping and wailing, and needed to be hugged and assured that Jade was going to be all right. You would have thought that this was the aftermath of a funeral.

  Even though Scary Mary complained about all the snot and tear-drops that the women smeared on her outfit, I was glad she was there to help out. Despite her age and the mysterious condition of her health, she was a trouper and could always be counted on in a crisis. The same was true of the other women who had offered to stay behind and help maintain some control. However, some of the guests had less noble motives for remaining on the premises. I saw a couple of women scurry into Rhoda’s bedroom and come out wearing some of her most expensive perfume. I saw another woman inspecting the contents of the refrigerator. Then there were a few who were so nosy, all they really cared about was hearing the whole story about “that Mexican and how he had clowned Jade on one of the most important days in her life.” But most of the people chose to hang around because they wanted to take advantage of the feast that Rhoda had ordered.

  “Don’t y’all let me leave here without a plate,” Wyrita said as we all stood in the living room, consoling each other. “And that bowl I got at Macy’s that I was going to give to Jade for a wedding present. She won’t be needing it now.” Wyrita gave me a conspiratorial glance. I nodded to let her know that her secret was safe with me. Under the circumstances, I was fairly certain that nobody would have cared that she’d purchased her wedding gift from Kmart and stuck a Macy’s price tag on it. I sure didn’t.

  Bully was beside himself. He was sobbing almost as loud and hard as some of the women. “Jade…is like a daughter to me, but she can be quite beastly. We must pray…for her,” he stammered, with a look of extreme concern on his face.

  “And I feel the same way!” Lizel added. “Had Rhoda and Otis whupped that child on a regular basis, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” Clarence, Lizel’s long-suffering husband, stood behind her, behaving like a mute. It would not have surprised me if he had bolted and made a run for the border like Marcelo.

  After the commotion had died down considerably, we fed the guests who wanted to stay. For the folks who wanted to leave, we fixed plates for them to take home. I thought it was pretty tacky that most of the guests took their gifts back, but there was nothing I could do to stop them. I didn’t get a chance to talk much to Louis, but before he and his people packed up and left, he took me aside and told me to call him when I could.

  I was exhausted, and not just from helping attend to the guests. My latest confrontation with Jade had drained me. I plopped down on the sofa in Rhoda’s living room, and before I knew it, I dozed off. Scary Mary pinched my arm to wake me up. She ordered me to either get a blanket and pillow, and prepare myself to spend the night, or go home. I chose to go home. Lizel and Wyrita—even though they were both inconsolable—volunteered to stay with Bully, Scary Mary, and her five prostitutes to help them keep an eye on Rhoda’s house until Rhoda and Otis returned from the hospital.

  One of the many things that I didn’t like about bad news was that it traveled fast and far. Especially when it originated in a small city like Richland. Less than two hours after I arrived home, I got a call from Daddy. I could hear loud laughter and calypso music in the background, and for a brief moment, I wished I was on that island, drinking rum and playing with an eel, like my hardheaded daughter was probably doing right now.

  Daddy didn’t even greet me. He jumped right in, feet first. “We heard about that Jade. We heard she cracked up like a walnut under a elephant’s foot. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner,” he said in a gravelly voice. “Wretched as she was, I still feel sorry about it, though. Hold on! Let me get my cigar.”

  I was glad that Daddy had not called me up collect. Because I held on for ten minutes before he returned to the line.

  “Is she gwine to be all right?” he asked. I could hear the ice clinking in his glass and him puffing on his cigar.

  “I hope so, Daddy. She was devastated,” I told him, rubbing the back of my neck. “I just talked to Rhoda and Otis. They’re still at the hospital with Jade. This was a big blow to them.”

  “I bet it is. But the truth about it is, the girl had it comin’. She been makin’ her bed all her life. Now it’s time for her to stretch out in it.” Daddy’s voice was so loud and clear, it was hard to believe that he was over a thousand miles away. “And another thing. That’s what she gets for hookin’ up with somebody outside her race.”

  I gasped so hard, I had to rise from my seat at my kitchen table. “Daddy, you ought to be ashamed of yourself for saying something like that! This is not about race. This is about two immature people who should not even have been thinking about getting married in the first place. And speaking of race, you left Muh’Dear and me for a white woman, remember?”

  “Huh? Who me? That was different! I was confused!”

  “Jade was confused, too, I guess.”

  “My situation was way different. I thought if I could get close enough to the white folks, I’d be able to figure out what made them treat us so bad.”

  I shook my head. “Daddy, that’s the most original excuse I have ever heard from a black man as to why he married a white woman. Did you get close enough to the white folks to figure out why some of them treated us like crap? Was she worth deserting your family for?”

  “Hell naw! And I learned my lesson! I’m a changed man!” he protested. After I mentioned his relationship with a person outside of his race, he couldn’t get off the telephone fast enough now. I was glad for that because I was so tired, all I wanted to do was rest. But I had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

  Pee Wee wandered in about ten minutes after Daddy’s telephone call. He came into the kitchen immediately, where I was still sitting at the table, nursing a bottle of beer. I had changed out of the outfit I’d worn to the wedding and slid into my nightgown. Even though it was still fairly early and wasn’t even dark outside, I was ready for bed.

  “I heard about Jade gettin’ jilted. A bunch of women that had been there when it happened were yip-yappin’ about it at the Red Rose a little while ago,” he said, standing in the doorway. “That’s a damn shame. I feel so bad for the girl.” He looked and sounded truly sincere. I knew I was sorry about everything that had happened. However, most of my sympathy was for Rhoda and Otis. “But…” He paused to give me a confused look. “She had it comin’, and it’s goin’ to keep comin’ at her if she don’t change her nasty ways.”

  “I am not going to argue with that, but I still feel sorry for her,” I admitted. What he did next surprised me. He walked over to me, leaned down, and gave me a hug. And then he squeezed my hand. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked, rearing back in my seat.

  “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with me. Can’t a man show his woman some affection without somethin’ bein’ wrong with him?”

  I didn’t have a quick answer to that. All I could do was stare into his eyes.

  “Well, it’s been so long since you did…” I muttered after a moment, still staring into his eyes. Since I had not looked at him this way in such a long time, I had not noticed how much his eyes had changed. There was an eerie and total hollowness in his eyes, like there was nothing to them except what I could see.

  “I know, I know.” He stopped and squeezed my hand again. “But I had a reason.” He looked away, then stood up straight, keeping his back to me as he leaned against the sink. “I had a real good reason.”

  I couldn’t wait to hear what his reason was. And it had to be a damn good reason to satisfy me. But my main concern was the effect it was going to have on our marriage—and my relationship with Louis.

  “Annette, I got somethin’ to tell you,” he said. His voice faltered, and he looked all tensed up, like he was afraid I was going to bite him.

  I held up my hand. “Let me help you out. I already know about your visits to…that woman,” I snarled.

  He whirled around. “Who told you?” he hollered, with his eyes open so wi
de, they looked like bull’s eyes.

  “Never mind who told me. I know, and I’ve known about it for some time now.” Despite my accusation, I prayed he didn’t know anything about my intimate relationship with Louis. It was the only leverage I had, and for the time being, I wanted to keep it intact.

  “Shit, baby. This is somethin’ I wanted you to hear from me,” he mouthed. “I can’t stand these bigmouthed motherfuckers in this town. You can’t do a damn thing without them blabbin’ it!”

  We were silent for a minute, which seemed like an hour. He kept his eyes on the floor the whole time. I kept my eyes on him. My mind was doing flip-flops. I didn’t know when and if I should offer my own confession. It all depended on Pee Wee and what he planned to do next. I didn’t know how I’d react if he planned to leave or divorce me. But unlike Jade and other women who thought their shit didn’t stink, I had already prepared myself for the worst: the end of my marriage.

  “All right. You can stop beating around the bush,” I said, giving him a guarded look. “But I don’t want to hear any shit about your feelings, or what I didn’t do to keep you happy! I don’t want to hear any of that shit!” I yelled. Then, in a much lower voice, I said, “It’s too late now.”

  He looked at me, with his mouth hanging open.

  “Did I make myself clear? You low-down, funky black dog!” I shrieked.

  His mouth dropped open even wider. “My God, Annette! You…you ain’t makin’ no sense,” he said, with an incredulous look on his face.

  “And neither are you!” I boomed. I rose from my seat so fast, it fell to the floor. Even though I’d lost a pile of weight, I still weighed more than my husband. And even though we’d never had a physical confrontation and he was stronger, I knew that if we ever had a smack-down, I’d give him a run for his money. And he knew it, too. That’s why he started backing out of the room as I moved toward him, with my fists balled.