Fear of Love

by Carole Mortimer

  He smiled at her outburst. ‘You say you do now, I wonder if you’ll feel the same in six months’ time. I doubt it. You’re at an age when you fall in and out of love every month.’

  ‘Like your wife did?’ she taunted bitterly.

  ‘Exactly as Marianne did,’ he agreed tautly.

  Alerandra realised that perhaps she had gone too far this time. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, shamefaced. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’

  ‘Oh, don’t start apologising now, Alexandra. We’ve gone way past the stage of not being able to speak our minds to each other.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose so.’

  He smiled. ‘I know so. Look, Alex—Alexandra,’ he amended. ‘I’m older than you, exactly twice your age, and I can see the pitfalls of marrying at your age. Marianne was no older than you when we married, and look how disastrously that turned out. We were divorced before she reached nineteen.’

  ‘You can’t compare me with her—or my intended husband with you.’

  ‘Meaning?’

  She didn’t flinch from his icy grey eyes. ‘Meaning that there is no way Roger can be compared with you. He doesn’t have to keep proving his sexual prowess, whereas you—well, it’s pretty obvious that your guest didn’t sleep in any other bedroom but your own. Is she your latest mistress?’

  Dominic raised his eyebrows. ‘What does that have to do with you?’

  She shrugged. ‘I was just curious.’ She flicked back her long black hair, long sooty lashes surrounding her deep blue eyes. ‘Is she?’

  ‘Yes,’ he answered with violence.

  ‘But you don’t intend marrying her?’ Alexandra’s curiosity had got the better of her now.

  ‘I don’t intend marrying ever again.’

  ‘Does she know that?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ he smiled. ‘Sabrina knows exactly what I feel for her.’

  ‘I’ll bet she does,’ her mouth turned back with distaste. ‘But I still maintain that you had no right to interfere in my life. I love Roger and I want to marry him.’

  ‘I didn’t stop you. I merely told Gail and Trevor that I—’

  ‘Didn’t think it a good idea,’ she snapped. ‘It was nothing to do with you, nothing at all.’

  ‘I’m sure that what I said meant little to either of them, they’d already made up their minds about it.’

  She shook her head. ‘I don’t agree. I think what you had to say had everything to do with their decision. They hardly dare breathe without your permission. I’m well aware of the fact that you’ve helped them out a lot since they married, but I don’t want to be included in that care. I want you to just stay out of my life.’

  ‘A little late for that, isn’t it?’

  She looked at him sharply. ‘What do you mean?’

  He shrugged. ‘It isn’t important. Let’s just accept that I’m the villain of the piece and forget it.’

  Alexandra’s mouth set angrily. ‘I don’t want to forget it. I want to know what you meant just now. What else have you had a hand in that I know nothing about?’

  ‘I said it isn’t important.’ He looked at his wrist-watch. ‘I have to leave now, I’m much later than the twenty minutes I said I would be.’

  ‘Dominic,’ she held his arm. ‘Please tell me.’ Her look was pleading.

  He looked down pointedly at her hand on his tanned forearm and she snatched it away hurriedly. ‘There’s nothing to tell. Let’s go,’ he pulled her out of the house. ‘We can talk some other time.’

  She wrenched out of his grasp. ‘We’ll talk now! I—’

  Charles, the butler, appeared in the open doorway. ‘Telephone for you, sir. It’s Mr Trevor,’ he added.

  ‘Tell him I’m on my way, Charles,’ Dominic answered him.

  ‘I did that, sir. But he says he has to speak to you urgently.’

  ‘Very well, Charles. Tell him I’ll be right there.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’ The butler disappeared back into the house.

  Dominic gave Alexandra an impatient look. ‘Wait here and we can drive back together.’

  ‘Forget it.’ She ran down the remaining steps to the driveway. ‘I’ve seen you quite enough for one day.’

  ‘Alexandra, you’ll wait—’

  ‘Goodbye, Dominic.’ She walked hurriedly away as he turned angrily to go and answer the telephone.

  There were still quite a lot of questions she would like answers to, but she was just too angry to talk to him any more. She would go straight over and see Roger, he always put her in a better mood.

  As she accelerated the Mini past the house Dominic rushed out of the doorway, waving frantically for her to stop. She gave him an impudent grin and cheekily waved back. She smiled as she looked in the driving mirror as she saw him standing in the driveway angrily watching her leave.

  Just thwarting him in this way put her in a better humour and by the time she reached Roger’s parents’ house she was feeling much happier. They should have finished lunch, it was after two o’clock, so she felt no hesitation about knocking on the door.

  She was shown into the lounge where the Young family were just having their coffee. Her eyes went instantly to Roger, her heart pounding loudly just at the sight of him. He looked pleased to see her too and they smiled dreamily at each other.

  ‘Hello, my dear,’ Mrs Young greeted politely. ‘Would you like to join us in some coffee?’

  The rumblings of her stomach told her that she should really have gone home and had her lunch before coming here, but as she hadn’t the coffee would have to sustain her until her evening meal. ‘Yes, please, Mrs Young.’

  Roger made room for her on the sofa beside him, his arm about her shoulders pulling her close against his side. ‘You’re over early today,’ he murmured softly.

  She snuggled against him. ‘Does that mean you aren’t pleased to see me?’

  His hold tightened. ‘Don’t say that! I just wasn’t expecting you yet.’

  Alexandra sat up as his mother handed her the cup of steaming coffee. ‘Thank you,’ she smiled.

  Roger was frowning. ‘I don’t see how you can possibly have eaten lunch and got over here since we parted at the pool this morning.’

  She squeezed his hand reassuringly. ‘I’ll explain later.’

  ‘Yes, but—’

  ‘How is your sister keeping?’ Mrs Young asked her. ‘I should think she’s getting quite impatient now.’

  ‘A little,’ Alexandra agreed. ‘Only another four weeks to go.’

  ‘I suppose that brother-in-law of yours is kept busy at the hospital,’ put in Mr Young. ‘Although it must be quite convenient having a doctor in the house.’

  ‘Yes,’ she smiled. She liked Roger’s parents immensely, although they tended to be a little possessive about their only child. Both in their mid-fifties, they had had Roger after ten years of marriage, and he was destined to be the only child they would have. After his initial training he was expected to join his father’s law firm.

  The Youngs were the nearest thing the village had to the local people of the manor, the large house they owned set in vast woodlands. With Mrs Young’s twin-sets and tweed skirts and Mr Young riding to hounds and arranging shooting parties, they were everything that could be expected of real gentry.

  ‘Would you like a game of tennis?’ Roger asked her softly, the gleam in his deep brown eyes showing that he had more than tennis in mind.

  ‘Let the girl finish her coffee,’ his father said sternly.

  ‘But I have.’ Alexandra put her empty cup down in the tray.

  ‘You can’t go running about a tennis court now, Roger,’ his mother reprimanded. ‘You’ve only just eaten.’

  ‘We’ll be fine,’ he pulled Alexandra to her feet. ‘See you later.’

  Alexandra giggled once they were outside. ‘Don’t you ever listen to your parents?’

  He grinned. ‘Not usually. They tend to fuss too much.’

  ‘They love you, that’s why.’

  He took her hand
in his own, leading her round to the garden at the back of the house, the green lawns stretching down to the tennis courts just out of sight of the house. ‘They still fuss too much.’ He pulled her close against him, his lips lingering on hers. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he said throatily.

  She blushed. ‘We only parted two hours ago.’

  ‘Much too long.’ He kissed her again. ‘Now tell me why you haven’t eaten lunch?’

  She stood back. ‘How did you know that?’

  ‘You haven’t had time. Did something happen?’

  ‘Let’s go down to the tennis court, we can talk better there.’

  ‘Something did happen,’ he said.

  She laughed. ‘Come on, it’s nothing we can’t sort out.’

  They walked down to the comparative privacy of the tennis courts, sitting down on the seats provided, tennis the last thing on their minds at the moment. Their kiss lasted for a long time, and both of them were breathless at the end of it.

  ‘Mm,’ Roger’s face was buried in her throat. ‘I wish we were married.’

  It reminded her too much of her scene with Dominic Tempest earlier and she moved out of Roger’s arms, an angry glitter to her big blue eyes. ‘It’s funny you should mention that. I found out the reason for Gail and Trevor’s refusal today. Trevor’s bossy brother put his spoke in.’

  Roger frowned. ‘Dominic Tempest did?’

  She grimaced. ‘The same.’

  ‘But I don’t see what it has to do with him.’

  ‘Neither did I, and I told him so. I think he’s got the message now.’

  ‘Mm, well as long as he has.’

  ‘He has,’ she said with certainty.

  ‘And he’s the reason you haven’t eaten?’

  ‘I could hardly sit down to lunch with him after the things I’d just said,’ she smiled at the memory. ‘I wasn’t very polite.’

  ‘You never are when you speak to him. I’ve only ever met him twice, at your sister’s house, and each time you argued with him.’

  ‘Only because he has such strong views on everything. He always thinks he’s right.’

  Roger chuckled. ‘So do you.’

  ‘Maybe, but I’m certainly not going to agree with everything he says like Gail and Trevor do. It makes me sick the way they always do what he says. Just because he appears on the television it doesn’t make him anything special.’

  ‘His programmes are very interesting,’ Roger pointed out.

  ‘So they ought to be, the risks he takes. I’m surprised he hasn’t killed himself by now.’

  ‘Someone has to take those risks or we would never know what was going on in the world,’ he pointed out reasonably.

  ‘I know that, but does he have to enjoy it so much?’

  ‘A man should enjoy his work, he’s going to be doing it for years.’

  ‘Not that sort of job he isn’t. He’ll be too old for it soon. He’s thirty-four, you know.’

  Roger chuckled. ‘That isn’t old. Will you think me old and past it when I get to that age?’

  ‘Oh, he isn’t past it, far from it. He had some woman staying with him this weekend, and he openly admitted to sleeping with her.’

  ‘Goodness, your conversation did get personal, didn’t it?’ grinned Roger.

  ‘Very. Oh, let’s forget about him, he only angers me.’

  ‘I’m all for that,’ he said throatily. ‘Kiss me some more.’

  She did, her arms about his neck, her body pressed against him. They were so engrossed in each other they didn’t hear the approaching footsteps on the gravel pathway.

  ‘I hate to interrupt the two of you,’ drawled a familiar taunting voice, ‘but I have to take you home, Alexandra.’

  She looked up at Dominic Tempest, her hair wild, her eyes slightly glazed and her mouth bare of lipstick. She moved hurriedly out of Roger’s arms, smoothing her hair down self-consciously.

  She licked her lips. ‘What did you say? And what are you doing here anyway?’ she asked resentfully, some of her composure returning. Why should she feel embarassed? He hadn’t this morning.

  ‘I’ve come to take you home,’ he repeated. ‘Roger’s parents told me you were down here.’

  Alexandra stood up, challenge in every line of her body. ‘What do you mean, you’ve come to take me home? Just who do you think you are? I don’t have—’

  ‘Gail’s been taken to hospital, Alex,’ Dominic told her quietly.

  Her face paled. ‘To hospital? But why? I don’t understand.’

  ‘It’s quite simple. She collapsed shortly after you walked out of there this morning,’ he told her calmly.

  ‘Oh, darling!’ Roger held her in his arms, kissing her forehead gently. ‘She’ll be all right, Alexandra, I’m sure of it.’

  ‘Oh yes, she’ll be all right,’ Dominic Tempest agreed coldly. ‘Now that she’s safely in hospital away from Alexandra’s childish displays of temper.’

  CHAPTER TWO

  ROGER flushed furiously. ‘Now look here, you can’t go around saying things like that! Alexandra can’t be held responsible for—’

  ‘I think Alex knows she can be held entirely responsible,’ the elder man interrupted. ‘She knew the delicacy of Gail’s condition, but she went ahead with her stupid personal grudge against me, walking out of the house swearing vengeance for some wrong she believes me to have done her.’

  ‘But you—’

  ‘He’s right, Roger,’ Alexandra said dully. ‘I did walk out of the house with the intention of going to see him, and I did tell Gail. She’s eight months pregnant, I should have realised it would upset her.’

  ‘Yes, you should have,’ Dominic agreed abruptly. ‘Like I told you earlier, you’re utterly selfish. Now, if you’re ready, I’ll take you to the hospital. Gail will want to see you.’

  ‘Is she going to be all right?’ Her eyes pleaded for him to say yes.

  ‘With rest and being kept under observation they think she’s going to be fine, no thanks to you.’

  ‘That’s enough, Tempest,’ Roger said angrily. ‘Can’t you see how upset she is? There’s no need to keep saying things like that to her.’

  ‘There’s every need, damn you!’ Dominic snapped forcefully. ‘Alexandra has to be made to see how her thoughtlessness can hurt other people. We’re lucky the baby isn’t being born right now.’

  Alexandra raised distressed eyes. ‘It isn’t, is it?’

  ‘No,’ he gave her an impatient look. ‘Are you ready to leave, because I’m going back to the hospital now whether you come or not. Trevor needs a little moral support at the moment.’ He turned sharply on his heel and began walking back towards the house.

  ‘Dominic!’ she cried out his name, beginning to run after him. ‘Wait for me!’

  He didn’t look at her as she ran to keep up with him. ‘I don’t have the time.’

  She clutched at his arm. ‘Please, Dominic,’ she pleaded. ‘Tell me how Gail is.’

  At last he looked at her, his eyes cold. ‘I’ll tell you in the car if you really want to know, but I’ve wasted enough time on you for one day. I’ve been looking for you for over an hour now. Why the hell didn’t you stop when I waved you down?’

  ‘I—’

  ‘You thought you were being clever, getting one up on me,’ he guessed correctly.

  ‘Well, I— Was that what the telephone call was about?’

  ‘Yes.’ They had reached his car by now. He wrenched open his car door and got in behind the wheel. ‘If you want to know any more get in.’

  ‘But— My car,’ she said desperately.

  Dominic started the engine. ‘Leave it.’

  ‘I can’t do that. It—’

  ‘Then don’t.’ He started to reverse the car out of the driveway.

  ‘Dominic, wait!’ She turned desperately to Roger. ‘I want to go with him, he can tell me more about Gail on the way. My car—would you drive it over later for me?’

  ‘Of course, darling,’ he kissed her ligh
tly on the lips: ‘Call me and let me know how your sister is.’

  ‘I will.’

  Dominic hardly gave her time to get in the car before accelerating down the road. ‘That kid’s like a lapdog,’ he remarked grimly. ‘He does exactly as you say.’

  She flushed angrily. ‘He was only trying to be helpful.’

  ‘I hope I didn’t interrupt anything just now,’ he taunted. ‘You looked like you were just getting started.’

  ‘We weren’t,’ she answered tautly.

  He shrugged. ‘You looked as if you were. His parents said you were playing tennis, but you looked as if you were playing something else to me.’

  ‘We were just going to play tennis,’ she said resentfully.

  ‘It looked like it. And you said my display this morning was disgusting!’

  Her eyes flashed her dislike of him. ‘I didn’t come with you to be insulted. You said you’d tell me about Gail.’

  ‘So far there isn’t a lot to tell you, except that she has to stay in hospital.’

  She nodded. ‘Just for a few days. I can spend the time getting the house spring-cleaned for her return,’ she continued eagerly.

  Dominic shook his head. ‘She isn’t staying in for a couple of days, Alex. The doctors have decided it will be better for both her and the baby if she spends the last few weeks before the baby is born resting in a hospital bed.’

  ‘But that—that’s four weeks away,’ she gasped in dismay. ‘She has to stay in all that time?’

  ‘At the moment they think it best.’

  ‘How awful for her! I would hate to be in hospital all that time.’

  ‘So will she, so you can damn well behave yourself when you see her. Gail is to have no worries whatsoever.’

  ‘I wouldn’t dream of worrying her,’ she said indignantly.

  He drove into the car park of the hospital. ‘Then make sure you don’t.’

  ‘Now look, I don’t have to take this from you. You aren’t—’

  Dominic turned with barely concealed violence to face her. ‘You’ll take from me exactly what I care to give out! At the moment I could quite easily beat the hell out of you and not feel a moment’s remorse.’

  Alexandra flung open the door, quickly scrambling out. ‘I don’t have to stay here and suffer your insults!’ She slammed the door.