Fear of Love

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘I am,’ he told her calmly. ‘In view of the absence of Gail and Trevor I’m acting as your guardian, and I say you stay where you are. Now, if that’s all you wanted I have work to do.’

  ‘You have no right—’

  ‘I have every right! You’re staying here, where Gail and Trevor can be sure you’re safe.’

  ‘With you?’ she scorned.

  ‘With me,’ he said grimly.

  ‘You’re just being pigheaded about this,’ she said angrily. ‘I’ve stayed at Roger’s house several weekends in the past. Gail and Trevor didn’t mind at all.’

  ‘A weekend is completely different from a full month. It could be even longer, we have no guarantee when Gail’s going to have the baby. No, you go back and tell your boy-friend that you’re staying here.’

  She slammed the door behind her. He was nothing but a bully and a tyrant! She snatched up the telephone receiver. ‘Mr Tempest doesn’t think it’s a good idea,’ she snapped.

  ‘Damn him, he doesn’t have any say in it!’ Roger sounded as angry as she was herself.

  ‘He thinks he does.’ She sighed, relaxing her body somewhat. ‘Can you come and pick me up, I have to go and collect some of my clothes? I’ll wait for you outside, I find this place oppressive.’

  They arranged to meet in half an hour, and for Alexandra the time dragged by. She ran over to the car when Roger arrived, getting in beside him before he had hardly had time to stop.

  She leant over and kissed him hurriedly on the lips. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

  Roger looked at her closely. ‘Hey, Alexandra, I’m sure that if you explained to your sister or Trevor how much you dislike being at Tempest’s house they wouldn’t expect you to stay.’

  ‘Gail isn’t to be worried and Trevor already has enough to think about. I don’t want to talk about it any more, Roger.’

  ‘Yes, but—’

  ‘Forget it,’ she said fiercely.

  ‘But if it’s upsetting you, Alexandra,’ he persisted.

  She smiled. ‘There are worse things in life than living in luxury at Dominic Tempest’s for the next four weeks.’ But she couldn’t for the life of her think of one right now!

  She let them into the house with her key, exclaiming her dismay at the chaos in the kitchen. She had forgotten they were about to have lunch when Gail’s collapse had occurred. She set Roger to washing up while she defrosted the refrigerator.

  Everything cleared away, she went up to her room to pack her suitcase. Roger stood in the doorway watching her.

  ‘So he’s graciously permitted me to call occasionally,’ he said sarcastically.

  ‘Who?’ She unlocked her wardrobe. ‘Oh, him! Yes,’ she sorted through her clothing. ‘As long as we don’t bother him.’

  ‘The less I have to do with him the better.’

  ‘That’s what I told him.’ She sat down on the bed with a laugh. ‘I feel almost sorry for him. This time yesterday he was basking in the loving attention of his mistress, and now he has me foisted on him.’ She began to laugh in earnest now. ‘And I’m not exactly the easiest of people to suddenly have in your life.’

  Roger came to sit next to her. ‘I like having you in my life,’ he said throatily.

  She smiled at him. ‘It isn’t exactly the same thing. To Dominic I’m just a nuisance, he said so this afternoon.’

  He put his arm about her shoulders, kissing her softly on the lips. ‘I don’t give a damn what he says, I think you’re lovely.’ He pulled her closer, the pressure of his lips increasing.

  ‘Oh, Roger,’ she breathed against his mouth.

  ‘Mm,’ he kissed her again. ‘I love you.’

  ‘I love you too.’

  He pushed her back against the pillows, his lips travelling slowly over her throat and back to her mouth. They were slow drugging kisses and she felt herself responding to them without reserve.

  She began to feel her first feelings of restraint when his hands began to roam beneath her tee-shirt, and she pulled back from him. ‘What are you doing?’ Her panic was obvious.

  He was trembling against her. ‘I love you, Alexandra. And I—I want you.’

  ‘Roger!’ She was shocked now. ‘You can’t—we can’t.’

  ‘Of course we can,’ he kissed her again. ‘We’re going to be married soon.’

  Alexandra pushed against him. ‘That isn’t the point Roger. We aren’t married now.’

  ‘Don’t be such a prude!’ He held her roughly. ‘We’re all alone here, we may not get an opportunity like this again. Don’t fight me, darling. I want to make love to you.’

  ‘No, Roger!’ She moved her head from side to side to evade his searching mouth. ‘No, I won’t let you.’

  His mouth claimed hers with a savagery he had never used before, forcing her lips apart to deepen the kiss. His legs across her knees pinioned her to the bed and her protests went unheard by him, his hands running freely over her body.

  ‘I love you, Alexandra,’ he groaned raggedly, his face buried in her hair.

  ‘I’m sure she’s glad to hear it,’ said a chillingly angry voice. ‘But if you don’t take your hands off her immediately I may be forced to ram those words down your throat.’

  Roger was off the bed in two seconds flat, glaring with resentful anger at Dominic Tempest. ‘You have a way of turning up when you’re not wanted,’ he said nastily, his face flushed.

  Dominic looked at him scornfully. ‘By the look of it I turned up at exactly the right time. Gail’s condition isn’t a good excuse for using this house for your assignations.’ He looked at Alexandra as she sat pale-faced on the bed. ‘I told you about that earlier. I thought you’d taken notice of what I said.’

  ‘I—I did.’ Roger’s unusual behaviour and the humiliation of being found in such a compromising situation by Dominic Tempest had made her feel ill. ‘I did,’ she repeated in anguish, unable to look at either of them.

  ‘It damn well looks like it,’ Dominic rasped. ‘Go on, Alexandra, get back to the house. I’ll talk to you later. And I’ll thank you for your key to this house.’ He held out his hand.

  She stood up, reaching with shaking fingers into her denims pocket. ‘I—It isn’t what you think, Dominic. This has never happened before,’ she added pleadingly.

  He took the key from her hand. ‘I don’t suppose it has, not in this house anyway. Gail and Trevor would hardly go out and leave you to it. Now go on home, I want to have a word with your boy-friend.’

  Roger put a hand on her arm as she walked past him, her head downbent. ‘Alexandra, I—’

  She flinched away from him. ‘Leave me alone!’ She glared at him, huge tears like lakes in her blue eyes. ‘Just don’t touch me!’

  ‘Alexandra, I didn’t mean—’

  ‘I know exactly what you meant to do,’ she cried. ‘And you won’t get a second chance. Goodbye!’

  CHAPTER THREE

  ALEXANDRA never knew how she managed to drive the car back to the Tempest house, her feelings a mixture of pain and humiliation. Once back in her room she gave in to the threatening tears.

  How could Roger, how could he! Oh, he had tried all the usual moves when they had first started going out together, but once she had shown her dislike of a more intimate relationship between them he had treated her with the greatest love and respect.

  But this evening he had lost control of his feelings like never before, and she felt sure that if Dominic Tempest hadn’t turned up as he had Roger would not have taken no for an answer.

  Not that she would have given in to Roger willingly, but already he had been proving the stronger before Dominic had interrupted them. He had never acted like that before, and it had frightened her. She didn’t know how she was going to face him again.

  She hurriedly wiped the tears away from her cheeks as someone knocked on the door. ‘Come in,’ she said huskily.

  Dominic entered the room. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked softly.

  Perhaps if he hadn’t be
en so gentle with her she would have been all right, but the sympathetic look in his eyes was her undoing. ‘Oh, Dominic,’ she cried, ‘I feel—I feel so degraded!’

  He sat down beside her, pulling her into his arms to cradle her head on his shoulder. ‘Hey, come on. What’s happened to the little firebrand I’m used to?’

  Alexandra gulped down the tears. ‘She seems to have disappeared.’

  ‘For the moment,’ he teased.

  She shook in his arms. ‘It was all so horrible! If you hadn’t come along he would—he would have—’

  ‘He just got carried away with the moment, Alex,’ he said gently. ‘I spoke to him after you left, I drove him home, actually. He couldn’t help himself—you have to expect that when you put temptation in his way.’

  ‘But I—I didn’t,’ she denied indignantly. ‘At least, not intentionally.’

  Dominic chuckled. ‘I’ve got news for you. You don’t need to do it intentionally.’

  She pushed away from him, a new panic entering her eyes. ‘Please, I—’

  ‘Calm down, Alexandra,’ he ordered sternly. ‘I’m the last person you should fear those sort of attentions from. We can’t stand each other, remember?’

  She gave a shaky smile. ‘I’m sorry, my nerves are all shot to pieces. I just didn’t expect that sort of behaviour from Roger. I thought he loved me.’

  Dominic stood up. ‘You really are an innocent, Alex. It’s because he believes himself to be in love with you that things got out of hand. At his age you don’t have a lot of control, when you get old and ancient like me it takes a little more than a beautiful face and a youthful body to turn you on. And he’s very sorry it happened, he did nothing but apologise all the way back to his home. He’s suffering, Alex, if that makes you feel any better.’

  ‘It doesn’t.’

  ‘I realise he’s frightened you,’ Dominic said gravely. ‘And I realise that what I witnessed tonight had never happened before. You were really upset about it.’

  ‘It was awful!’ She couldn’t meet his eyes.

  ‘Oh, surely not awful, Alex? After all, if the two of you were married, as you’d wanted to be, you would be on a much more intimate footing.’

  ‘Yes, I know, but it—it wouldn’t be the same!’

  ‘Of course it would,’ he contradicted. ‘Exactly the same. Do you love Roger?’

  ‘You know I do,’ she said resentfully.

  ‘And you’ve never been tempted to go to bed with him?’

  She blushed scarlet. ‘Never.’

  ‘Then you don’t love him,’ he stated calmly, reaching for the doorhandle.

  ‘How can you say that?’ She stood up. ‘How can you possibly know how I feel about him? You couldn’t tell that on such short acquaintance.’

  Dominic opened the door. ‘I wouldn’t even need to see him to tell you how you feel about him, the fact that you don’t want to sleep with him is enough.’

  ‘I didn’t say—’

  ‘You said you’ve never been tempted to, which amounts to the same thing. It’s almost time for dinner, I’ll see you later.’ He stopped his exit, reaching in his trousers pocket. ‘You might as well have your key to the house—after what you’ve just told me I don’t think I have any reason to suspect you of meeting Young there.’

  ‘You—’ she began.

  ‘I’ll see you at dinner, Alex.’

  ‘I don’t think I want any.’

  Dominic shrugged. ‘Please yourself.’

  Her breakfast was doubly welcome the next morning after she had stubbornly refused to go down for dinner the evening before. But at least Dominic wasn’t there to witness the enormous meal she ate—that would have been too humiliating.

  Gail already looked rested when she visited her that afternoon, a healthy blush to her cheeks. Alexandra put the flowers she had bought her sister on the locker beside the bed, and bent to kiss her cheek. ‘You look wonderful.’

  Gail blushed. ‘Possibly because Trevor has just left.’

  Alexandra laughed. ‘I see. Say no more. Well, I want you to know that everything is all right back at the house. I went over there yesterday.’

  Gail sighed her relief. ‘I suddenly thought of the mess I’d left everything in just as I was falling asleep last night. Of course when I told Trevor he said not to worry about it. Typical male! He doesn’t seem to realise that you can’t just suddenly up and leave a house.’

  ‘Well, now you don’t have to worry about it, it’s all been taken care of.’

  ‘How are you settling down, living with Dominic?’ Gail looked at her interestedly.

  Alexandra flushed with feeling. ‘Don’t put it like that, Gail,’ she said abruptly. ‘I’m only a guest in his house, a guest he would rather not see too much of.’

  ‘That wasn’t what he said this morning.’

  ‘This morning?’ she looked sharply at her sister. ‘He’s already been to see you?’

  ‘Mm, he came in about eleven. He brought the roses. Didn’t he tell you he’d been here?’

  Alexandra avoided her eyes. ‘I—I haven’t seen him today.’

  Gail raised her eyebrows. ‘You didn’t have lunch together?’

  ‘Nor breakfast either. Dominic’s very busy,’ she added hastily. ‘He has his work to do. He has to go up to London Wednesday and Thursday.’

  ‘Oh yes. He stays overnight, doesn’t he?’

  So he could be with his mistress for the night! ‘Yes. They’re lovely flowers that he brought you.’ Alexandra changed the subject.

  ‘They come from the garden at his house. It’s a lovely house, isn’t it?’

  ‘Very nice. I could quite get used to being waited on,’ she teased.

  ‘Don’t get too used to it,’ Gail laughed. ‘There’ll be plenty to do once I get home with the baby. I wish it could be soon,’ she added wistfully. ‘I’m getting a little tired of being this size.’

  ‘That’s why you’re in here, so that you can rest.’

  ‘Mm, but the baby isn’t resting, he’s more active than ever.’

  ‘You’re sure it’s a he, then?’ Alexandra teased.

  Her sister laughed. ‘It had better be, or Trevor and Dominic will never forgive me! They both want it to be a boy.’

  ‘Surely it has nothing to do with Dominic,’ Alexandra said sharply.

  ‘He will be its uncle,’ Gail pointed out gently.

  Alexandra gave a harsh laugh. ‘Well, I’ll be its aunty, but I haven’t put in a claim for a girl.’

  ‘Would you like it to be a girl?’

  ‘I don’t mind what it is.’

  ‘Neither do I. And Dominic will love the baby no matter what it is, we all will. We’re just fed up waiting.’

  A nurse put her head round the side of the door. ‘Time for your nap, Mrs Tempest,’ she said with a smile.

  ‘Can’t my sister stay a little while longer?’ Gail asked pleadingly.

  ‘I’m afraid not. You’ve had far too many visitors today already, and I’m sure Dr Tempest will be in again later.’ The nurse disappeared again.

  Alexandra stood up. ‘The nurse is right, Gail—you must rest.’

  ‘I’m not an invalid, and I feel such a fraud taking up this bed.’

  ‘You’ll do as you’re told,’ her husband told her sternly as he came into the room. ‘Hello, love,’ he greeted Alexandra. ‘How’s my big brother treating you?’

  ‘Oh, fine,’ she answered shortly. ‘How are your bachelor quarters?’

  He grimaced. ‘Don’t ask me!’

  Gail giggled. ‘His feet were cold all night.’

  Alexandra laughed, and kissed her sister goodbye. ‘I’ll be in to see you tomorrow. Is there anything you want me to bring in?’

  ‘I’ve made a list out somewhere,’ she looked about on the locker. ‘Ah, here it is,’ she checked down the list. ‘There’s quite a lot there, but as I’m going to be stuck in here for weeks I might as well have my knitting and sewing, otherwise Junior won’t have any clot
hes to wear when he arrives.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure we could manage to find him a few things,’ Alexandra teased.

  ‘I’ll have those things anyway, it will give me something to do.’

  ‘I nearly forgot,’ Alexandra looked through her handbag. ‘I picked up some books for you this morning.’

  ‘Oh lovely,’ Gail smiled her thanks.

  ‘Right, well, I’ll be on my way.’

  ‘Can you tell Dominic I’ll call him tonight?’ Trevor requested of her. ‘I’m not sure what time.’

  ‘I’ll tell him.’ If she saw him! So far today she hadn’t set eyes on him. ‘See you both tomorrow.’

  She went straight into the lounge when she reached the house, coming to an abrupt halt as she found her host sitting in there reading the newspaper. ‘Hello,’ she said curtly.

  ‘Hi.’ He didn’t put down the newspaper.

  ‘I understand you went to see Gail this morning.’

  He nodded absently. ‘That’s right.’

  ‘I thought you were taking me with you when you went.’

  Dominic slowly lowered the newspaper, his eyes sliding insolently over her as she stood a few feet away from him.

  Alexandra shifted uncomfortably as his gaze rested on her slender hips in the skin-tight denims before slowly travelling up to her breasts clearly visible in the thin woollen sun-top she wore. His look was blatantly sexual and her cheeks coloured hotly at the question in his eyes.

  ‘I didn’t think you wanted to go anywhere with me,’ he said finally.

  Alexandra dragged her eyes away from the sensuality of his mobile mouth. ‘I don’t, at least, not particularly. But I’m sure Gail thought it odd.’

  He frowned. ‘You haven’t been worrying her again?’ The intimacy of his mood was dispelled as impatience took over.

  ‘No, I haven’t,’ she answered with her old fight. ‘But I didn’t tell her what a charming host you’re being either.’

  ‘Can I help it if I can’t get used to the idea of having an adolescent in my house twenty-four hours a day?’ he mocked. ‘I’m not used to having females around me day and night, this is basically a male household.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said sarcastically, dropping into an armchair. ‘I was under the impression that women were a primary factor in your life.’