His mouth was a thin angry line. ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Yes, I do! You were hurt once, so you don’t want to get involved again. If that isn’t running away from life I don’t know what is,’ she scorned.
‘I wasn’t hurt by Marianne,’ he said with disdain. ‘I loathed and detested her.’
‘But you—’
‘I was never in love with her. She told me she was having my baby, and I was stupid enough to take her word for it. When I realised she’d taken me for a fool I was disgusted and sickened. I didn’t touch her again. That’s why I was more out of the country than in it, I had nothing to keep me here. Ten months after we were married Marianne told me she was pregnant.’ His mouth turned back in a sneer. ‘She expected me to father it.’
‘But you were her husband.’
‘Like hell I was! I couldn’t bear to touch her, I hadn’t been near her for five or six months. I knew I couldn’t be the father, and although I’d continued the charade of the marriage I wasn’t going to be a party to that. We were divorced and she eventually married the father of the child.’
‘I didn’t know,’ said Alexandra in a hushed voice. ‘I naturally assumed—’
‘Like most other people you assumed that I was to blame for our divorce,’ he finished bitterly. ‘But you’re right about one thing. I am afraid, I’m afraid of domesticity and all it entails.’
‘I’ve already told you that you don’t have to marry me,’ she reminded him.
‘And you think Trevor would settle for that, for you moving in with me?’
‘I wouldn’t ask him.’
‘You’re a damned little fool!’ Dominic turned off down one of the side roads, parking the car amongst the trees and out of view of other travellers. ‘You damned little fool,’ he repeated agonisingly. ‘I don’t deserve you, Alex. You’re too innocent and vulnerable for me to trample on.’
‘Then don’t trample on me.’
He ran a hand through his blond hair. ‘I can’t seem to help it.’
‘Would you prefer to take me home?’
‘No!’ he denied sharply, grasping her arms painfully. ‘I lay awake all night wondering why I walked out on you last night. I think it was what you said about my not being fun. That was Marianne’s constant cry because I refused to sleep with her.’
‘Oh God, and I did the same thing.’ Alexandra’s face was very pale. ‘I’m sorry, Dominic.’
‘No, I’m sorry.’ He pulled her savagely into his arms. ‘I’ve been in hell all night, thinking I might have lost you. I have a hell of a temper and I took it out on you because you said something that reminded me of the past. You’re nothing like Marianne, and yet when you said that to me I just saw red.’
‘I didn’t know, I didn’t realise. I was only teasing you.’
‘I know,’ Dominic groaned into her hair. ‘But I paid for my temper with a sleepless night. I’m sorry if I hurt you, darling.’
‘I was more confused than hurt,’ she confessed. ‘I couldn’t think what I’d done.’
‘You hadn’t done a thing.’ He cradled each side of her face. ‘Do you think you’ll be able to stand my foul moods?’
Alexandra smiled at him uncertainly. ‘As long as you make love to me afterwards.’
‘As I would like to do right now,’ he groaned as if in pain. ‘That isn’t helping my temper, I’m afraid, the fact that I’m trying to control my desire for you.’
She leant forward to kiss him on the lips. ‘Then I’ll help you.’
‘Not like that you won’t!’
‘Exactly like this,’ she murmured against his mouth.
‘You’re pushing me over the edge again.’ He watched her as if mesmerised as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his hair-roughened chest, running her fingertips lightly over his heated skin. ‘Alex!’ his mouth moved over her throat.
‘I’m not going to stop, Dominic. You’re the one denying yourself, not me. I’ve always dreamt of having a husband, a home of my own, children,’ her voice softened. ‘But they aren’t that important to me that I would risk losing you to have them. I could have had all that with Roger, but I would rather have a few months with you than nothing at all.’
‘Oh, darling,’ he moaned. ‘Don’t make it so easy for me, make me sweat a little. I should be grovelling to you for the moods I take you through, for the way I turn on you at the slightest provocation. If it wasn’t for the fact that you have a temper yourself I would walk all over you.’
Her hands were inside his shirt. ‘We make quite a fiery combination,’ she whispered.
‘You’ll still marry me?’
She shook her head. ‘Marriage isn’t what you want.’ She kissed his chest. ‘This is what you want,’ her mouth travelled up his throat, lingering on his strong jawline before hesitating near his mouth. ‘Isn’t it, Dominic?’
‘Yes! Yes, yes, yes! He pushed her back against the leather upholstery, crushing her beneath him. But she felt no pain, only a fierce gladness to be in his arms.
‘Then take it, Dominic darling,’ she encouraged. ‘Take it!’
‘I think I may have to,’ he groaned.
Alexandra offered no resistance as he forced her mouth apart, his hands ran freely over her body, the sudden rush of feeling in his body for her an indication of his desire.
He pushed aside the rounded neckline of her woollen dress, his mouth trembling with passion against her creamy breasts. Their bodies fused together, desperately clamouring for full consummation, the barrier of their clothing the only thing stopping them.
Dominic touched her thigh beneath her dress, caressing the smoothness of her skin, setting her afire where he touched. She gasped as his mouth claimed her breast, his lips bringing it to full pulsating life, the whole of her body feeling posessed by him, engulfed by him.
‘Dominic!’ She felt as if a tide was rising up inside her, flashing pleasure and pain, and a feeling that a dam was about to burst and consume them both, shooting her body into racking pleasure.
She arched against him, all her senses crying out for the deep overwhelming pleasure that must surely be hers if he continued his caresses. He mustn’t stop now, not now she was so close—so close to what? She had no idea, but she knew once it had happened she would truly know the reason she had been born, would know the pleasure of being made into a woman by the man she loved.
‘Oh, Dominic, I love you!’ she gasped her feelings. ‘I love you!’
He seemed not to have heard her, his blond head bent with serious intentness over the beauty of her body, her breasts bare to his hungry gaze. His grey eyes were almost black, their depths glassy, a strange vulnerability to his passion-giving mouth.
Suddenly he clutched her to him, a choked sound in his throat as he shuddered in her arms. ‘I can’t make love to you here!’ he moaned, his forehead on hers. ‘I can’t do that to you! When I make you mine I want it to be done with no uncertainty between us. I want to take you as my wife, not like this.’
Alexandra could feel the desire slowly leaving his body. ‘But we just agreed that marriage isn’t what you want.’
‘With you it is.’ He searched her flushed face, gently touching her bruised lips. ‘I hurt you,’ he kissed her tenderly. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. I—’ she blushed, ‘I liked it.’
Dominic sat up, pulling her with him. ‘I know,’ he gave a rueful smile. ‘I guess it’s another cold shower for me. I seem to have done nothing else the last three days, and all they’ve done is give me a cold.’ His look deepened. ‘They certainly don’t have the desired effect. As soon as I see you again my temperature shoots through the ceiling.’
Alexandra straightened her dress in her embarrassment. ‘I don’t think this dress will ever be the same.’ She tried without success to get some shape back into the neckline.
Dominic chuckled. ‘I’ll buy you a new one.’
‘You most certainly will not!’
He raised one eye
brow. ‘Why not?’
‘Because I don’t want gifts from you. Why are we going to the shops this afternoon anyway? Do you have something you want to buy?’
He shrugged, completely composed now, a certain rakishness in his appearance the only sign he showed of the passionate embrace they had just shared. ‘Only if I see something. I’m just trying to act like any other boy-friend. I’m sure Young took you shopping on Saturdays.’
‘Well, yes, but—’
‘Then so will I. But lunch first.’ He gave her a teasing look. ‘I seem to have worked up an appetite.’ He laughed as she blushed anew.
They had lunch in a pub as Dominic had suggested, Dominic enjoying steak while Alexandra had a prawn salad. After their meal they sat outside in the garden, enjoying a cool drink before going on their way.
It was while waiting outside a shop for Dominic that she saw Roger’s mother. Her face lit up in greeting, but she received only a cold stare in return.
Alexandra frowned. ‘Good afternoon, Mrs Young.’
‘Alexandra,’ she nodded distantly.
‘You’re well, I hope?’ Alexandra persisted.
‘Thank you, yes.’
‘And Mr Young, is he—’ she broke off as she saw Mrs Young’s attention wander to something over her shoulder, her face at once stiff and unyielding. Alexandra turned to see Dominic making his way down the street towards her, his handsomeness and natural arrogance attracting attention to him from passers by.
‘So you’re here with him!’ Mrs Young hissed. ‘My boy isn’t good enough for you now, is he, not now you have him interested. It’s disgusting, absolutely disgusting!’ With a last disdainful look in Alexandra’s direction she walked off.
Dominic put his arm about her shoulders and dropped a small parcel into her hand. ‘For you.’
She was still deathly pale from her encounter with Mrs Young. ‘What is it?’
‘Open it and see.’
She pulled off the wrapping paper to reveal a jewellery case, snapping open the lid to reveal a bracelet of delicate gold, five diamonds sparkling on its surface. ‘It’s lovely, Dominic,’ she took it out of its box. ‘Really beautiful! But you shouldn’t have bought it for me.’
‘Consider it an early birthday present.’ He noticed her pale face for the first time. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’
She gave a wan smile. ‘I just met Mrs Young.’
He nodded his head in understanding. ‘And she made her feelings clear concerning the severing of your friendship with her son,’ he guessed correctly.
‘Yes,’ Alexandra said huskily.
‘Come on, let’s get you home. I think you’ve had enough for one day’
They didn’t mention Mrs Young again, talking of other subjects on their way home. But Alexandra couldn’t dismiss it as easily as Dominic appeared to have done. She knew now what he had meant about people’s nastiness. But at least each encounter was hurting less and less, until she felt sure she would become immune to these attacks altogether.
She was laughing with Dominic as they entered the house, the laughter soon turning to stunned silence as an ear-splitting scream filled the air.
‘What the hell—’ Dominic moved forward.
Trevor appeared at the top of the stairs, a pale-faced, wild-haired Trevor with tears in his eyes. ‘It’s Gail,’ he choked. ‘Something has gone wrong—the baby’s coming now. Oh God, something’s gone wrong!’ he cried as another scream rang out.
CHAPTER NINE
‘MY God!’ Dominic was almost as white as Trevor. ‘Have you called for an ambulance?’
‘Of course I have. But I don’t know if she can be moved.’
‘Can’t you do something?’ Alexandra demanded, pushing past the two of them. ‘Listen to the pain she’s in!’
‘I have been, for the last fifteen minutes,’ Trevor said in a strangulated voice.
She clutched at his arm. ‘I’m sorry, so sorry. I’ll go in to her.’
‘Trevor?’ Dominic prompted his brother.
‘Yes, yes, go in,’ he said as if in a dream. ‘I’ll just go down and call the ambulance again. I told them it was an emergency, they should have been here by now.’ He ran down the stairs.
‘Go with him, Dominic,’ Alexandra encouraged. ‘He looks at breaking point.’
‘I’m not surprised. Hell, I couldn’t go through this.’ There was torture in Dominic’s eyes. ‘If we ever get married we aren’t having children.’
If, if, if! There were too many ifs and buts about their relationship. ‘Now isn’t the time to discuss it, Dominic. Just go down with Trevor. He may be a doctor, but it’s a little different when it’s your own wife.’
‘She’s your sister.’
‘I’ll manage.’
Alexandra wasn’t quite so confident when she actually got into the bedroom with Gail. The pain her sister was in was excruciating, it was there in her fever-bright eyes and the way her knees were drawn up into her body.
‘Oh, my God!’ she gasped as another pain racked her body, and gripped Alexandra’s hand as if it were a lifeline. She relaxed her hold as the pain subsided. ‘Sorry,’ she looked down at the hand she had squeeed the blood out of. ‘I’m being such a nuisance.’
Alexandra stood up, going into the adjoining bathroom to wet the flannel and place it on Gail’s heated forehead. ‘The baby is just in a hurry to be born, that’s all.’
‘I don’t know if he’s going to be born at all,’ Gail said brokenly.
‘Of course he is,’ Alexandra said briskly.
Gail smiled wanly. ‘I’m not silly, Alexandra dear. I haven’t been a doctor’s wife for the last three years without learning something. Besides, Trevor never panics. He’s always so calm and reliable, something he isn’t at the moment.’
‘He’s never been a father before,’ Alexandra excused.
‘No,’ her sister agreed slowly. ‘But something is wrong, I’m sure of it. The pains shouldn’t have come on so quickly or so fiercely.’
Trevor appeared in the open doorway. ‘The ambulance is on its way—apparently the first one got stopped at a road accident.’ He came to his wife’s side, holding her hand. ‘It will be all right now, darling, we’ll soon have you in hospital. Go down and keep Dominic company, Alexandra. I’ll stay with Gail now.’
She knew he wanted to be alone with his wife, so she did as he suggested, and found Dominic in the lounge, a large glass of whisky in his hand.
His face was haggard. ‘Would you like one?’ he indicated the liquid.
Considering the size of the glass and the amount in it she thought he would be well over the limit by the time he had drunk it, and it might not even be his first one. She shook her head. ‘I think one of us ought to be capable of driving.’
‘Mm?’
‘Well, we can’t all go to the hospital in the ambulance—Trevor probably, but we’ll have to drive there.’
Dominic put a hand up to his neck as if it ached. ‘I didn’t think of that,’ he rasped.
‘Does Trevor know what’s wrong?’
‘He says the baby is the wrong way round, breech birth or something like that.’ He gulped down some of the whisky.
‘Oh no!’ her dismay was obvious.
‘What does it mean?’ he asked.
‘I don’t really know that much about it, but I think it means that the baby isn’t going to be born head first. They may even have to operate.’
‘No wonder he’s going through hell,’ muttered Dominic.
‘I think that’s the ambulance now.’ Alexandra hurried to the door. ‘But Trevor isn’t even sure if it’s safe to move her.’
‘Well, they can’t operate here!’
‘They may have to.’ She hurried out to let in the ambulance men and the doctor who had accompanied them, showing them straight up to the bedroom.
She and Dominic waited anxiously downstairs while the two doctors consulted. Trevor was a trained doctor, but the man with him was a specialist in maternity case
s. Alexandra just hoped that they would decide Gail could be taken to the hospital where they had all the facilities to help her.
‘What on earth are they doing up there!’ Dominic snapped, as the murmur of voices seemed to go on for ever. ‘Why don’t they do something and stop talking about it?’
‘Calm down, Dominic,’ Alexandra soothed him. ‘Anyone would think it was your wife having the baby!’ she attempted to tease him, her own tension very high.
‘I’m never going to put any woman through that.’
It was the second time he had said something like this. ‘It isn’t usually like that,’ she told him gently.
As they heard Gail cry out again he gave a shudder. ‘Never!’ he said harshly.
Trevor came into the room. ‘We’re going to get her to the hospital now. They’re going to try and turn the baby round when we get there. It’s too late to stop the labour, the baby is going to be born today, one way or the other.’
It took quite a lot to get Dominic to let Alexandra drive his Ferrari, but he finally gave in, giving her instructions all the way to the hospital. She didn’t argue with him, realising he needed this outlet to the despair he felt, knowing the deep affection he had for Gail.
The hospital waiting-room was white and stark and they were both too worried to bother with the magazines scattered over the table. Gail had been taken into the delivery room and Trevor had gone in with her, leaving them to sit here and wait.
‘It always seems so quiet in these places,’ Dominic remarked moodily, gazing sightlessly out of the window.
‘You aren’t very good in a crisis,’ Alexandra told him truthfully.
‘Not when it’s someone I care about. Gail is like a sister to me.’
‘Well, she is my sister,’ she choked.
Instantly he was by her side, cradling her to him. ‘I’m sorry, Alex, I’m a thoughtless swine. It’s just that it all happened so quickly. One minute we were out shopping, the next—well, here we are.’
She looked at the bracelet on her wrist. ‘I don’t think I thanked you for this.’
‘You were upset,’ he said understandingly.
‘Yes. It’s a little premature as a birthday present,’ she remarked, remembering his excuse for giving it to her.
Fear of Love Page 14