‘It’s a bauble, nothing more.’
‘An expensive bauble.’
‘I like expensive things—especially on beautiful women.’
‘Flatterer!’
‘I have to have something to recommend me,’ he said dryly.
‘You have a lot more than that,’ she told him throatily. ‘And I like my gift, even if I did ask you not to buy me anything.’
‘I’ll buy what I damn well please! You’re—’ he broke off as Trevor staggered into the room. ‘My God, what’s happened now?’
Trevor dropped down into a chair. ‘The baby won’t be turned round.’ He looked at them with tortured blue eyes. ‘They may have to either save Gail or the baby.’
‘Oh no!’ Alexandra felt sick.
‘You told them to save Gail,’ Dominic muttered.
‘Well, of course I did,’ Trevor said impatiently, as if there had been no need for that question. ‘But Gail is insisting they save the baby. She keeps crying for them to save the baby,’ his voice broke. ‘It’s breaking me up!’
‘Hell, man, she can’t mean it,’ Dominic burst out savagely. ‘She can have other babies, but there’s only one Gail.’
‘I know, I know.’ Trevor stood up. ‘I have to get back now, I’ll let you know about—about—I’ll let you know,’ and he hurried from the room.
‘God, I feel so useless!’ Dominic cried angrily. ‘There’s absolutely nothing I can do. I don’t like being in this type of situation.’
‘Stop it, Dominic!’ said Alexandra sharply. ‘Other people have to go through this, just think how Trevor must be feeling. He’s a doctor and yet there’s nothing he can do either. He just has to sit and wait like the rest of us.’
‘Oh, Alex!’ He pulled her into the circle of his arms. ‘Why do women choose to go through this?’
‘We don’t all choose to, although Gail did. Please don’t worry, Dominic,’ she smoothed back his tousled hair.
‘You would never put me through this?’
‘I can’t promise that, it wouldn’t be fair to ask me.’
‘But children aren’t a necessity in marriage,’ he said stubbornly. ‘At least, not in mine.’
‘We aren’t married yet,’ she reminded him.
‘True.’
‘You’re letting this colour your judgment. And this isn’t exactly the right time to be discussing this, not when Gail is in there fighting for her life. I—I just want to sit quietly.’
‘Like you said, I’m not acting very well in this.’ His look was distant. ‘I’ll be back later.’
Alexandra looked at him dazedly. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Outside, anywhere away from here.’
‘But you can’t. You can’t!’
‘I’ll be back soon, Alexandra. I just have to get some air.’
She couldn’t believe he had really gone. He was acting out of character, not the usual strong dependable Dominic she had come to expect. This was a very serious time for all of them, but it shouldn’t have affected Dominic this badly.
He hadn’t returned by the time a tired but triumphant Trevor came into the waiting-room. ‘It’s a boy, Alexandra! A beautiful healthy living baby boy,’ he shouted, his face wreathed in smiles. ‘And Gail is going to be fine too.’
‘Did they have to operate?’ she asked.
‘It was the only way. But they’re both alive, Alexandra! Isn’t it wonderful?’
‘Really wonderful,’ she agreed tearfully. ‘Can I see her?’
He shook his head. ‘Not just now, she’s sleeping. She won’t be sensible again until morning. Where’s Dominic?’
‘He couldn’t stand the tension a moment longer, he’s gone for a walk,’ she excused.
‘I don’t blame him. But Gail was so brave, so brave. And the baby is beautiful,’ Trevor glowed.
‘He won’t thank you for that when he’s older,’ she teased.
‘You have to see him, Alexandra. He’s been taken down to the nursery.’
‘Dominic will wonder where we’ve gone,’ she pointed out reasonably.
‘No, I won’t,’ he said from behind them. ‘I gather everything is okay?’ he spoke to his brother.
‘Just great,’ Trevor beamed. ‘Come down to the nursery and see my son. Gail can’t be disturbed at the moment—She needs all the rest she can get.’
Alexandra and Dominic duly admired the new member of their family, although at the moment he looked like all the other babies in their cots, certainly not the cause of all the trauma his birth had caused as he slept peacefully through other babies crying.
Dominic stood watching him from his great height. ‘I don’t suppose he has a name yet?’
‘Oh yes, he does,’ laughed Trevor, obviously very relieved that the danger was over. ‘Gail managed to be very firm about that before they put her completely under. His name is Alexander Dominic,’ he informed them proudly.
‘I’m flattered,’ his brother smiled.
Alexandra was more than flattered. It sounded strangely right to hear the male version of her name and Dominic’s linked together in this way, curiously intimate.
‘It’s a lovely name,’ she told Trevor breathlessly.
‘We thought so.’ By this time they were back at the waiting-room. ‘I’ll have to go and sort out some accommodation again,’ he said ruefully. ‘I don’t think I’ll be very popular, moving in and out of here as if it’s a hotel.’
‘You’re moving back to the hospital?’ It was something that hadn’t occurred to her.
‘I shall have to, Gail will be in here for a few weeks. I want to be close to her and the baby.’
‘Does that mean Alexandra has to move back in with me?’ Dominic enquired distantly.
She looked at him sharply, realising for the first time that he hadn’t spoken to her directly since he had come back from his walk in the hospital grounds. He suddenly seemed to have shut her out again, become the arrogant stranger of the past.
‘If you wouldn’t mind,’ Trevor answered vaguely. ‘She can’t be left alone in the house.’ ‘I wouldn’t mind …’ Alexandra began.
‘I believe we’ve had this argument once before, Alexandra,’ Dominic said coldly. ‘And the outcome will be the same.’
Alexandra! He had called her Alexandra for the second time within the space of a few minutes. Something was wrong, very wrong. She felt the fear rising up within her.
‘I can stay at the house,’ she said softly once she and Dominic were on their way, leaving a jubilant Trevor arranging for his room at the hospital.
‘The matter is settled.’ His voice was clipped and abrupt.
‘But I— It’s different this time. We—You—I—’
‘Yes?’ he snapped.
‘Nothing,’ she mumbled.
‘You were going to say something, Alexandra.’
There it was again! ‘It isn’t important.’
‘Very well,’ he seemed to consider the matter closed. ‘Do you want me to take you home to collect your clothing?’
‘Yes, please.’ She looked down at her hands, aware that things had changed dramatically between them. ‘I’ll drive over later in my own car.’
‘I’ll drive you back now.’
‘No!’ she answered more sharply than she intended. ‘No, I’ll bring my car over. I’ll need transport.’
‘Okay,’ he nodded. ‘I’ll see you later, then.’
She looked at him pleadingly. ‘Why don’t you come in and talk to me while I pack?’
‘I have some work to do. I’ve been negelecting it lately.’
‘Oh.’ Alexandra knew who was to blame for that. She got out of the car. ‘I won’t be long.’
Dominic nodded coolly. ‘I’ll tell Charles to prepare a room for you.’
Somewhere between going to the hospital and leaving again she had lost him, she knew it as surely as she knew her own name. She didn’t know how it had happened, why it had happened, but the Dominic who had returned from his wal
k had not been the same Dominic who had kissed her with such passion this morning.
And she couldn’t begin to understand what had made him change. He had always been an elusive man, but she had really thought he was seriously interested in her, his whole attitude had indicated as much. But he had never once said he loved her, had never once made that final commitment!
Now she didn’t think he ever would. He had gone away from her, either temporarily or permanently, and she didn’t know how she was going to bear his coldness towards her after the passion they had shared.
She arrived at Dominic’s house just before dinner, admitted by the inscrutable Charles. He unbent enough to say how pleased he was for Trevor and Gail on the birth of their son before showing her to the room she had occupied on her last visit here.
‘Mr Tempest will not be dining in the dining-room,’ Charles told her haughtily. ‘But dinner will be served to you in there when you are ready.’
‘Has Dom— Mr Tempest gone out?’
‘No, Miss Paige. Mr Tempest is in the study working. He requires only a tray.’
‘I see.’ Alexandra tried not to show how hurt she was. ‘Do you know if he’ll be working long?’ Her voice was a whisper.
‘I have no idea. Would you like me to enquire?’
‘No! Oh no, that won’t be necessary.’ She gave him a bright smile. ‘I wouldn’t want you to disturb him on my account.’
‘What time will you require dinner?’
‘I—I don’t think I’ll bother.’ She unlocked her suitcase and pretended an interest in its contents. ‘I’m not really hungry.’
‘I’m sure Mr Tempest wouldn’t approve of you not having dinner,’ Charles said with a frown.
She didn’t give a damn whether Mr Tempest approved or not! ‘Mr Tempest doesn’t have to be told. After all, he’s busy working.’
‘Are you sure we can’t tempt you with something? Some soup, a little chicken salad perhaps?’
‘No, thank you, Charles,’ she said firmly.
‘Very well, Miss Paige. But if you change your mind you have only to ring.’
‘Thank you.’
So Dominic was back to ignoring her existence, was he? She wanted to march down the stairs and demand his attention, but she daren’t. If she did that he might verbally tell her that everything was over between them, and until that actually happened she had something to cling on to.
She didn’t see him all that evening or the next morning for that matter. Charles informed her that ‘Mr Tempest’ was still working in his study, although he had taken time out to visit Gail, her sister had told her when she herself went to the hospital.
The baby was lying quietly in his cot next to Gail’s bed, his little hands curled about his blanket, his blond hair fluffy and fine.
Alexandra couldn’t stop looking at him. ‘He’s lovely,’ she smiled tenderly.
‘Isn’t he just?’ Gail sat propped up against the pillows. ‘Although I didn’t think so an hour or so ago. He simply wouldn’t stop crying when Dominic was here, and I so wanted Dominic to like him.’
‘I’m sure he liked him anyway.’ Alexandra touched the soft little hand. So Dominic had once again visited Gail without telling her. This more than anything else showed her they had lost all intimacy between them. ‘The poor little mite was probably hungry.’
Gail blushed. ‘I knew that, but I couldn’t very well feed him in front of Dominic. It would probably have embarrassed him.’
‘But why? Oh—Oh, I see,’ Alexandra laughed. ‘Yes, I think it would have embarrassed him.’
Her sister laughed too. ‘I think he got the message in the end. He left in a hurry, anyway.’
That could have been because he had suspected she would turn up some time this afternoon, but she didn’t say that to Gail. ‘We were all very worried about you yesterday,’ she told her sister. ‘You gave us quite a fright.’
‘So Trevor told me. But the baby was worth it.’
‘I’m very flattered by your choice of name, by the way.’
‘Er— Did you know Dominic was going to town tomorrow?’
Alexandra kept all emotion out of her face, although the information had given her a nasty jolt. ‘No,’ she said brightly. ‘He’ll probably tell me later.’
‘He’s not just going for the day, Alexandra. He says he has to go back to record some last-minute programmes.’
‘And you don’t believe him?’ How long was he going away for? Oh, he was so cruel!
Gail looked at her closely. ‘Do you?’
Alexandra’s blue eyes were purple in depth, her pain evident. ‘No,’ she admitted brokenly. ‘Oh, maybe it’s true that he has the programmes to do, things must have become a bit backlogged during his absence, but I don’t believe he really needs to absent himself like this.’
‘Have things gone wrong between the two of you so early?’ Gail couldn’t hide her concern.
She gave a fleeting smile. ‘I don’t know. He suddenly seemed to change.’
Gail nodded. ‘He’s like that, he leads a very independent existence.’
‘I’m just beginning to realise that.’ Alexandra gave her young nephew one last lingering look, wondering if she herself would ever have children. If she couldn’t have Dominic’s children then she didn’t want any at all. ‘I’d better be going, you both need your rest.’
‘You’re all right, aren’t you, Alexandra?’ Her sister gave her an intent look. ‘Dominic hasn’t hurt you too badly?’
‘He hasn’t hurt me at all,’ she replied briskly. ‘We only went out a couple of times.’
‘Yes, but—’
‘Don’t fuss, Gail! I’m grown up, you have another baby to take care of now.’
‘Yes, and he’s a darling.’
Alexandra laughed. ‘I hope you still feel that way when he wakes you up screaming for his food in the middle of the night! They’re being kind to you at the moment, letting you sleep right through, but once you get over the operation they’ll start wheeling him in here all hours of the night.’
‘Horror!’
‘Just warning you of things to come.’
‘And enjoying doing it,’ teased Gail.
‘Of course,’ Alexandra chuckled. ‘See you tomorrow.’
Dominic was in the lounge when she returned, although he looked no less forbidding than he had yesterday. She wasn’t even sure she should go into the room, he didn’t look as if he would welcome her interruption to his solitude.
She sat down wordlessly, watching his averted face, the smoke from his cheroot like a shroud about him. Finally she couldn’t stand the silence any longer. ‘Gail told me you’re going up to London tomorrow.’
‘Yes.’
‘How long for?’
‘I have no idea,’ he said coldly, still not looking at her.
‘You must have some idea, Dominic. You— I’m sorry,’ she bowed her head, ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’
He shrugged his broad shoulders. ‘No, you shouldn’t,’ he agreed.
‘But you—’
For the first time he looked at her, his grey eyes steely, nothing of the lover about him. ‘If you have something to say, Alexandra, then say it. It’s a little tire-some having you starting to say things and never finishing them.’
How could she say anything to him when he called her Alexandra so coldly? ‘I’m sorry,’ she muttered miserably.
He stood up with force, the fitted navy blue trousers and shirt emphasising his tan and the blondness of his hair. ‘And I’m a little tired of you saying sorry every two minutes too,’ he snapped, his eyes narrowed, his mouth a firm angry line.
‘Then why do you keep making me say it?’ A little of her old spirit returned.
Dominic raised his eyebrows. ‘I’m not making you say it.’
‘Yes, you are. What’s the matter with you, with us? You’ve been downright rude to me since we left the hospital yesterday.’ She knew she wasn’t getting through to him by the withdrawn exp
ression on his face, if anything his eyes more glacial.
‘I had work to do—I asked Charles to tell you.’
‘And he did as you instructed. But I thought we’d gone past the stage where I had to be informed of your movements by a servant. Gail even had to tell me you were going away tomorrow—you didn’t tell me.’
Dominic’s mouth turned back. ‘I don’t remember being given the chance. You attacked me with it as soon as you came into the room.’
She flushed. ‘I—’
‘For God’s sake don’t say you’re sorry again!’ he snapped.
Her eyes flashed angrily. ‘I wasn’t about to, I have nothing to apologise for. You don’t want me any more, is that it?’ She came straight to the point.
His grey eyes slid over her almost insolently. ‘Oh, I still want you. You’re very desirable, especially when you’re angry.’
‘But that’s it, isn’t it? That’s as far as your feelings for me go. You can’t feel love for any woman, only desire. And desiring me is a little too complicated for you to want to get involved in,’ she accused. ‘It’s all right to have your women up in London, but I’m a little too close to home, almost a member of your family. With me things can’t be quite as simple and unemotional, other people get drawn into it.’
‘Have you quite finished?’
‘No, I haven’t! I told you yesterday that you’re afraid of life, I still think that.’
‘You’re entitled to your opinion.’ He walked over to the door. ‘Excuse me.’
‘Dominic!’
‘Yes?’ he asked uncompromisingly.
‘Dominic, don’t go,’ Alexandra pleaded.
‘I have some work to get through, telephone calls to make.’
‘I didn’t mean now. Don’t go to London tomorrow. Stay here with me,’ she begged.
‘I explained my reasons for leaving to Gail.’
She ran to his side, her hand on his arm beseechingly. ‘Then explain them to me, Dominic. Explain them to me!’
He put her savagely away from him. ‘I don’t have to explain anything to you. You don’t own me. No woman does that.’
‘But I—I thought I meant something to you.’ Her voice broke as she struggled to hold back the tears. ‘I thought we meant something to each other.’
Fear of Love Page 15