Rainier

by Moxie North

  Cash was a big guy, huge. Rain and Fin had nothing on their older brother. Cash was built like the bear he was. His mate, Cassie was tiny, sassy, and mouthy, just like Quinn.

  His brother didn’t say anything as he came up to him. He gave him a slap on the back and walked him inside, turning off the lights as he went.

  They walked down the hallway to Cash’s office and his brother helped him pull out the futon. He grabbed some blankets and pillows from the closet and tossed them down. Cash walked out pulling the door closed behind him.

  That was his big brother. He was exactly the kind of man and mate that Rain wanted to be when he was older. His brother took care of his mate; his first thoughts were of her, then his kids. Everything he did was for them and he was happy as shit.

  Rain wanted to take care of Quinn that way. He imagined making her breakfast in the morning. Covering her with blankets while they watched TV. All the things that most people took as a normal part of life, Rain saw as an act of love.

  When he finally woke up, he heard his niece and nephew making noise. There was no keeping those two quiet. He lay there for a while going through the minutes and hours since he’d met Quinn. Each smile, each laugh, the sound of her voice when she was sad. But that peace only lasted until the door creaked open and a small brown bear head peeked around the corner. His niece, Jett.

  Her bear’s fur was so light it almost looked blonde and made her blend into light colored areas. There was a rug in the living room that she could practically disappear into. That was if she was naked. She currently was sporting pink-striped footed pajamas that had unicorns and rainbows on them. Totally a Cash purchase. Cassie stuck to skulls and crossbones when it came to dressing her kids.

  “Hey, Jetty,” he called softly and the little bear pushed through the door and came bounding up to him. She clawed her way up the bed and onto his chest and proceeded to lick his nose. She was quickly joined by Axl whose bear was black as midnight and wearing a black onesie that had an evil looking penguin on it that said I still live with my parents. That was a Cassie purchase. The bears happily welcomed him to their home before they got distracted with wrestling each other. Rain pushed the little bears off his chest and sat up. “Scoot you too. I’ll be right out.”

  The twins scampered out of the room and Rain got up to go after them. He found Cash and Cassie in the kitchen cooking breakfast. They moved around each other like they were dancing. Both working without talking like they had always done it for dozens of years instead of just a handful. They probably had a routine that they didn’t even realize.

  Rain also didn’t miss the little touches between them. They reached out to each other as they passed, their fingers just touching.

  “Did Frick and Frack wake you up?” Cassie asked when she saw him standing in the living room with a baby bear trying to climb his leg.

  “Babe, don’t call them that,” Cash said.

  After a family breakfast he offered to watch the monsters with Cash, not that he needed any help, and spending time with his kids was Cash’s idea of a party. Cassie went to work and then came back to have lunch. That was when she yelled at him for feeding the kids spray frosting. He had found it in the cupboard when the babies started fussing.

  He wasn’t sure if she really didn’t want the kids having sugar or if she was mad because it was part of her own goodie hoard. Cassie was well known for her affinity for sugar and her willingness to cut a bitch if you broke into her personal stash.

  Now he was ignoring her and squeezing the nozzle into the kids’ mouths. The frosting was bright pink and the kids were covered in it. The level of food dye in the stuff was probably really bad for them, but Rain figured that their bears’ metabolism would burn it off.

  His plan was that when the sugar really kicked in, he’d head over to his parents until it wore off. What were uncles for?

  The babies were squealing for more and spontaneously shifting between human and bear they were so excited.

  “You little asshole, you’re going to ditch them with me aren’t you?” she accused him.

  Cash was silently laughing in the kitchen as Cassie stood with her hands on her hips tapping her foot. Considering the way Cassie looked, she wasn’t very intimidating. Her hair was in a bob that reached her shoulders and was bright teal. She was wearing purple lipstick and a Van Halen t-shirt and a flowered skirt. Her voice stern but she looked fucking cute. He totally got why Cash never worried about making his mate mad.

  Cash had told him once to find a girl that got cuter the madder she got. It was great advice, and if he let himself think about how Quinn had looked last night, she hadn’t been mad but she had been frustrated, and she was still beautiful. There was a chance that he would see her totally pissed off and he expected her to look like a goddess.

  “I’m not ditching these beautiful babies, I’m visiting mom and dad.”

  “Take them with you. She loves babysitting.”

  “Babe, if we want her to babysit next week we can’t wear her out with cracked out babies today,” Cash reminded her.

  “We don’t have crack babies, we have hellions. Totally different,” she said, glaring at Rain then shooting her mate a look.

  “Fine, but I’m taking them over to play with their cousins. Cash, can you stop by after work?”

  “Yeah, Sprite.”

  “Rain, are you staying for dinner?”

  “Not sure. I’m thinking maybe I’ll see what Angel is up to.”

  “I think he’s in Seattle this weekend. Didn’t you talk to him?” Cash asked.

  Shit, he had never returned Angel’s text from the other day. He’d been so caught up with Quinn and class that his family wasn’t on the forefront.

  “Oh, yeah. Slipped my mind. I’ll text him, tell him he sucks ‘cause he missed me.”

  “I’m sure he’s going to be crying in his cornflakes,” Cassie laughed.

  “Okay, you two. No more frosting, I’m sure mommy has cans spread all over the house, but she wants this one back.”

  “You got that right, biotch.”

  Rain took the frosting and walked it back to the kitchen with the kiddos trailing behind him.

  “Now they aren’t going to leave you alone,” Cash said with a laugh.

  “They love me. I think I might go for a run first before heading to mom and dad’s.”

  “Good idea. You know how to get in if we aren’t here,” Cash said.

  “You still have the freezer locked up?”

  “Shit, no. I took it off after you and Fin went to college. It’s full of kid crap now.”

  “It’s fine. I’m sure mom has something. I’ll try to fill up over there first.”

  Rain leaned down and gave raspberries to both the babies on their necks, then kissed Cass on the cheek. He nodded to his brother and headed out onto the back deck. Cash’s house looked over a river. It was secluded and you didn’t have to worry about stumbling on anyone. He stripped out of his clothes by the riverbank and took a deep breath as he tried to relax.

  His bear was there but a little hesitant to come out. It had been a while, and his bear was just as confused about their life as he was. Convincing his animal that he needed him to take over, he felt the change pour over him like a waterfall. There were sparks of color and the world shimmered into something different, and all at once Rain was looking through his bear’s eyes. The big creature who was a dark brown color scratched his black claws into the dirt. His bear was taking in the sweet fresh scent of the trees, the water, and the animals in the distance.

  He told his bear to run, to take it all in. The animal agreed, jumping through the river until he made the other side.

  They needed hours in the woods to stop thinking, to stop worrying. To find a little peace.

  Chapter 19

  Being the center of attention was never her favorite. In fact, she avoided it at all costs. Quinn had perfected being involved without ever being noticed. Never in the forefront, but always on the edges.
Spending a half hour listening to her Sisterhood group tell her that she was making the wrong choice about Rain was the worst kind of attention.

  “For fuck’s sake, Quinn. He grabbed you and kissed you in the middle of a sexual violence rally!”

  Quinn didn’t look up to see who had said that. Her eyes had been closed for a while as she rubbed her forehead against the building headache.

  “It wasn’t unwanted so stop acting like any male attention is aggressive,” Quinn said from behind her hands.

  “It still wasn’t cool.” This time it was Sara, she could tell.

  “Fine, whatever! Can you guys just pick another topic?” Quinn looked down at her phone for the hundredth time. She’d texted Rain that she was heading out to her meeting and never got a response.

  “You checking up on him or he checking up on you?” Quinn looked up to see Jill, the group treasurer, glaring at her. Jill didn’t like men in general for her own reasons.

  “I sent him a text earlier and he hasn’t responded. Like you don’t check your phone all day long.”

  “I do, but your conversation last night wasn’t exactly quiet.” This was Krissy speaking quietly from a corner.

  This was news that she had learned after she had walked into the meeting and all eyes turned on her. Her memory of the conversation didn’t seem too bad. That was until you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, then it sounded a whole lot different.

  “My conversation was private.”

  “Your conversation sounded like you’ve just met this guy and he is already trying to control your every move.” Sara seemed to take a little joy in saying this.

  “I think you need to mind your own business.”

  Quinn was so done talking about this. They had started the meeting talking about the rally then they managed to work in Rain to the conversation.

  “If there is nothing else to discuss regarding the rally or any future projects, I’m going to leave,” she announced.

  Quinn stood up and a girl named Angie, that was new and enthusiastic, blocked her path. “We’re worried about you, Quinn. This guy just met you and he is upset because you have a life? That you work and have class? He wants to know where you are all the time? Come on, Quinn, it’s all the classic signs of someone trying to control your life. That’s abuse.”

  She’d heard enough. “Thank you for your concern and your opinions. I need you to respect the fact that I’m not stupid, and I know all the signs. I also need you to respect the fact that as a woman, I can choose my partners, my life, and my willingness to meet someone else’s needs. If you haven’t had a relationship like this, you don’t know.”

  “Relationship? You just met him last week!” This was Jill again.

  “And thank you for keeping track!” Quinn shouted and stormed out of the room.

  When she got outside she took deep breaths, trying to control her anger. And she was angry, she was also embarrassed, and frustrated.

  She was angry that anyone, friend or not, had tried to tell her how to run her life or that she wasn’t seeing the truth. She was embarrassed that she was the topic of conversation amongst a group of women that were supposed to be friends. Talking behind someone’s back did not make you a good friend.

  Even more frustrating was the fact that she had already thought of some of the same things that they had brought up. He was controlling, or attempting to be. But it wasn’t aggressive, it was something else. He wasn’t telling her to not see her friends or not to go to work. He had just told her how hard it was for him to be away from her. That was him being honest, if a little vague.

  If he was trying to control her he would have stayed, wouldn’t he? He would have followed her, tried to see her. Unless he was really good at camouflage, she hadn’t seen him. He was so worried about her texting him but he hadn’t responded yet. Was this some kind of game to get her to chase him? If it was, it would be a highly manipulative method to get her attached to him.

  Now she felt like a bit of a stalker herself. Checking her phone every few minutes wasn’t healthy. She hadn’t seen him in twenty-four hours, and she missed him. The desire to see someone she’d only been around for a few days concerned her.

  There was also the part where she threw herself at him. It was unheard of in her limited experience for a man to turn down sex when it was offered freely. She’d suggested an evening of sexual interaction with no strings attached and he had adamantly refused.

  Then he had to go and ask for strings. Lots of complicated, crisscrossing strings. Dropping the bomb that he was a virgin wasn’t expected either. At least that’s what she thought he’d meant. It didn’t take a detective to figure out that he was looking for his one and only. Quinn was sure that was only something that was seen in tear-jerker movies about teens falling in love with someone who had cancer.

  She’d never been anyone’s first. Not that she knew for sure of course. Quinn had mapped out her first time with her best guy friend from junior high. She had waited until their sophomore year of high school and she decided to rid herself of her v-card in between finals so she wouldn’t be distracted from her studies.

  It was okay, no big deal, nothing earth shattering. Quinn felt it was something she needed to accomplish so she did. Afterwards they stayed friends, and nothing else had happened between them. In her mind, the act itself was more like a vaccination than anything; something that had to be done but didn’t need a lot of fanfare.

  Quinn was pretty sure that she’d met the only guy her age that was still a virgin. How had somebody as hot as Rain managed to protect his virtue this long?

  Saving himself for his one? She had known some people that said that, but she figured that they just hadn’t found someone that turned their crank enough to get naked with. They were just too picky.

  She could feel the tears wanting to fall but she’d be damned if she’d let those women make her to cry. Sitting on Rain’s lap blubbering was the first time that she could remember crying since elementary school.

  Taking another deep breath, she squared her shoulders and pulled out her phone. There was a text back from Rain. Just the notification made her heart skip a beat. He’d answered her.

  Thanks for texting. Be safe. Send me a picture so I don’t forget what you look like.

  She let out a sharp laugh. At least he hadn’t asked for nudes.

  Turning on her camera, she snapped a selfie and sent it off to him.

  Seconds later, her phone rang.

  Rain had been lying on his mom’s couch after dinner, letting the mountain of beef stroganoff he’d eaten digest. He’d run for hours with his bear, and it had been the perfect way to clear his head. Stuffing himself full of food and leaving him to vegetate in front of the fireplace was as good as your mom tucking you in at night.

  His mom and dad were thrilled to see him. They wanted to invite more people over, but he begged them not to. They conceded which was unusual.

  He wanted to check his phone, but he also didn’t know what to do if she hadn’t called or texted. He was giving her space even if it killed him.

  When he finally checked his phone, he saw that she’d sent him the message she promised.

  He replied and got nothing for a while. Staring into the flames he was almost dozing off when the picture came through. She was just as beautiful as the image burned into his mind, but there was something else behind her eyes. A pain that hadn’t been there before. It felt like a punch to the gut and he dialed her number before he could even think. It rang once before she answered.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Rain. Nothing. Why?”

  “I can see it in your eyes. You’re upset. Are you hurt? Did something happen?”

  “I’m fine, really.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Quinn. I can see it, hell, I can almost feel it. Why do you look like you want to cry?”

  “Shit. It’s nothing. My stupid group had a “tell Quinn their opinions” line item on the agenda tonight. I just really was
n’t up for it.”

  “Bitches,” he growled out.

  She didn’t deny it. Normally that wasn’t her favorite word, but sometimes it fit the circumstances.

  “Whatever. I’m over it. I’m going to go home and get some sleep.”

  “I can come back. It will take me about three hours, two and a half if I push it.”

  “No, don’t. It’s no big deal. It’s not the first time my choices didn’t mesh with someone else’s ideals. Fuck ‘em, I don’t need their approval.”

  “This isn’t about me is it?”

  There was silence. “Shit, it was about me? What did I do?”

  “The way they tell it, you beat your big manly chest and tried to drag me off to your cave by my hair.”

  Rain couldn’t tell her that he’d had a similar thought when he met her. His bear would love to take her to a cave and keep her safe there forever.

  “I can’t apologize for being myself. I don’t think I need to de-masculinize myself just to appease your friends. “

  “I didn’t ask you to, and they aren’t my friends. Don’t get so defensive.”

  “I’ll apologize to you for being a dick, but it’s only because I like you so much. If they have something to say about me they can say it to my face instead of launching a guerrilla attack on you. That’s bullshit and nasty. They clearly don’t know you that well if they think you could be so easily swayed.”

  “Rain, it’s fine. I told you we don’t always see eye to eye, my group has a lot of individual people with individual ideas. I’ll live. I miss you. Isn’t that weird? I wish you were here. It’s like I think I would feel better if you were here.”

  “It’s not weird. It’s the same way I feel. Hey, I played with my niece and nephew and I let my mom stuff me with food. I got spoiled today and you got verbally attacked. I’m pissed that I wasn’t there to protect you. The only reason I’m here is to give you the space and time you need. What I need you to believe is that I’m not trying to force you into anything. I wouldn’t do that.”