by Ford, Mia
It’s the baby that gets me the most. The fake pregnancies. Me and Zoe might not have been one hundred percent discrete about me and her, but no one knows about the baby. So, for Court to come up with that… well, it feels too much of a coincidence to be real. I really have been played like a fool.
I can’t drag my eyes away from Zoe, not yet because I know that the moment, I do everything changes. No longer will it be me and her simply enjoying one another’s company, seeing where things go, starting a relationship for the sake of our baby… no, that will be over, and I’ll have to accept the lie.
Her hands fling on to her hips and Zoe actually has the indecency to be angry at me, like I am the one who has done something wrong. All I’ve done is being kind to her… well, for the last few days anyway. Maybe not before, but we were both in that competitive stage then. Only I wasn’t as willing to play the game as much as her. I never would go as far as to make up lies and to fake feelings. I just can’t believe that anyone would do that.
There are so many things that I want to yell here, so many things that I want to cry out in front of everyone, so they all know what Zoe is like, but I can’t. I have never brought my personal life in to work before and I don’t intend to now. Just because she has and Andy can’t see through her, I will not stop to her level. I need to find a way to hold my head up high so that Andy comes to me when she eventually fucks up.
So, I do the only thing that I can, I make the only smart move, and I spin on my heels to leave the room. It’s getting too small in there, the walls are closing in on me, I need to be somewhere that I can breathe… which unfortunately isn’t the office at all. The whole place is making me claustrophobic, so without thinking too much about it I head straight outside, leaving the office far behind me. There’s no way I will get any more work done today, not with my head spinning like this. All the office politics, all the game playing, it’s out of my control. It’s too much for me. All of this is. Perhaps this is a sign that it’s time for me to move on, to do something else. I know that Brad would want me to work for the family business if I decided to. Two of my other brothers work there already so it would be nice, a real family atmosphere. Maybe not exactly what I would like to do, but it would be better than being here with her for any longer. Looking her in the eye and knowing that she has taken everything from me to become my boss. My fantasy, my future life, my job, my happiness, even my child…
Or not since it doesn’t seem like my child ever existed.
It’s too fucked up. I really do need to get out. I need a clean break from this.
“Hey, Wesley!” Before I can make my escape from the parking lot as well, Court catches up with me. “Don’t go. You can’t run away from that situation. It isn’t going anywhere.” I snort derivatively since as far as I am concerned, I’m already half way out the door. For me, it is over. “Look, I don’t know what that bitch did to you since you won’t tell me anything, but she has clearly fucked you over to make sure that she gets the job.”
“She won,” I reply in a moto tone voice. “I fell for her shit and so did Andy.”
“It doesn’t matter who fell for what because we aren’t going to stand for it.” Court shakes his head determinedly. “We don’t think that it’s fair and we’re going to make a stand.”
“What do you mean? Also, you and who? Huh? Because everyone else is celebrating Zoe…”
“Hannah isn’t,” he shoots back smugly. “Hannah is on your side. She has been friends with Zoe, for sure. But over the last few months she has seen a different side to her, she has learned about her past and what she’s been willing to do to get to the top. Now, Hannah is no angel, she can be bitchy and a bit of a gossip, but she isn’t crazy like Zoe. Zoe has got a history like you wouldn’t believe. The stories I have heard…”
“Why didn’t I hear them?” I shrug sadly. “Then I could have prepared myself.”
“I tried. Hannah wanted to tell you, but she didn’t know how bad things were… none of us did.”
I don’t know if he wants me to fill in the gaps here but I’m not going to. I’m far too embarrassed for that. I can’t let anyone know that I was actually falling in love with this woman. No way. That I believed a child was on the way and that me and her were going to overcome our differences and have a happy ever after.
Again, I’m overcome with the urge to punch myself. I just about manage to resist.
“We will take her down, Wesley, I can assure you of that,” Court tells me firmly. “The three of us… we can take her down. Make sure that we expose her for who she is. Get you in the job where you are supposed to be and show Andy what a damn fool he has been. You have people on your side, Wesley, don’t forget that.”
Huh… I don’t know if I want to ‘take Zoe down’ or whatever. It feels a bit vengeful even if she has wrecked me, but it does feel nice to have someone on my side, to not be alone in this pain. If I walk away from this now, then I know that I won’t have anyone to talk to about this at all. I won’t tell my brothers; I just know it. I can’t. It’s too humiliating. And while I can’t say everything to Court, at least he understands enough.
“I don’t want to go back in to that office.” I point towards the building. “Not today.”
“Me neither, which is why I told Andy that we are having the rest of the day off.”
“You just told him that?” I laugh. “Are you serious? And how did he take it?”
Court shrugs. “If you just tell Andy things then he goes for it. You need to know how to work him, that’s all.”
“Okay sure. I will bear that in mind. Maybe that’s where I went wrong when it came to the promotion. I let him know that I am the best person for the job, but I didn’t tell him to give it to me.”
“Exactly. Now you are getting it.” Court pats me on the back. “So, now that we don’t have to go back to work, we’re going out for drinks. Me, you, and Hannah too. She’s in this as well and she wants us to take Zoe down. She doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt by her.” He grabs out his cell phone. “I’ll call her.”
“I…” I’m about to argue that I just want to go him but as Court begins talking to Hannah, he holds up one finger to silence me, which I do instantly. Clearly, peer pressure is going to win out today.
“Right, all sorted.” Court smiles. “She will be down in a moment. Then we can get going.”
Well, it looks like I am going out drinking on a work night again, and not for the reason that I would have assumed. I thought that I would be out celebrating my new job, but instead I’m drowning my sorrows. It beats sitting at home and staring at the walls, wishing that I could do something to blow off some steam.
I glance up towards the office once more, thinking about Zoe in there celebrating her victory. I wonder what she thinks about me now that she has used me and discarded me. She obviously doesn’t give a shit about how I’m feeling about it all because she hasn’t even come out to check on me. She doesn’t even care enough to say sorry for all that she’s done. I guess this must be something that she does a lot and it doesn’t even worry her that I am a part of the hurricane that she has left behind. I’m just a piece of debris to be left behind.
Yep, a night at the bar and a slanging match is just what I need right now. The plans to take Zoe down might even be fun to create, even if we don’t actually make them happen. Just to help me recover.
Can I recover from this? My fragile brain asks me. I don’t suppose that now is the best time to think about this because right now it’s as if I won’t ever be able to trust another human being again.
Chapter Twelve
Zoe
I have been stewing all night long, getting increasingly pissed off by Wesley and his childish behavior. The way that he couldn’t congratulate me on doing well and getting the job, the fact that he stormed out of the office after the announcement then didn’t even come back, the way that he ignored me all night long and didn’t respond to any of my calls… I couldn’t sleep because I
was so annoyed about it and this morning, I feel even worse.
This isn’t something that I would like to confront him about at work, I would much prefer to do it somewhere more private, but I’m raging, and I need to get it off my chest. I won’t be able to focus on starting my brand new job which I’m determined to do well at until I have gotten everything out. He needs to hear what I have to say.
But just as I’m about to storm across the office to see him, I catch a glimpse of his face and it stops me. He looks dreadful. All pale and green. Maybe even sick. Could there be another reason why all of this has happened? Perhaps I have been reading things the wrong way and here is actually something wrong with Wesley…
“Cracking night last night,” Court cries out to Wesley, changing my mind all over again. “You were absolutely mental, Wesley. Do you even remember puking on that girl’s shoes last night just as she went to kiss you…?”
Okay, so he’s hung over, not sick, and hung over from a wild night making out with random girls apparently. While I have been at home, stewing and getting upset, worrying about him. I am an idiot. Instead of taking me out on a romantic date like I was going to do for him, he kissed other women instead. Perfect.
I continue on with my journey to see that asshole and to give him a piece of my mind because that’s exactly what he deserves. He’s made me feel like shit instead of happy for what I have achieved.
“Hey, you,” I bark in a whisper at him. “Are you ever going to talk to me or what?” He glares at me, again looking at me like I am the one in the wrong here. “I will answer that for you. Yes, you are. You’re going to talk to me right now. We can either do that here at your desk or somewhere more private.”
For a moment, I fear that he’s going to call my bluff and stay where he is, forcing me to either give up the conversation or have it right here, but finally he rises up and he stomps from the room right back to the cleaning cupboard where we tried to have a private conversation before. This time, we have to try not to shout.
I make sure that I don’t stand anywhere near him this time so we can’t end up touching one another. The last thing I need is to feel him right now. I already know what hate can do to me and Wesley. It’s dangerous.
“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” I demand, trying to keep my voice steady. “I know that you are disappointed that I was given the job for you. But I would have been happy for you. Why can’t you do the same?”
I expect a guilty look on his face, some sort of sign that he feels bad about what he’s done, but that doesn’t happen. He steels and becomes even more enraged by me, his cheeks reddening with the anger.
“I can’t be happy for you, Zoe, because I know who you are now. I didn’t know before, but I do now.” He runs his eyes up and down me like he’s disgusted by me. It makes me feel like shit which is sad because he’s been the only person who’s made me feel alright about myself. “I know who you are and what you do.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Wesley?” I fold my arms over myself, trying to hide some of my body away from him. I don’t want his eyes feasting on me when he’s so angry. “I don’t know what you mean?”
“Hannah told Court and he told me. I know all about your games.” My blank face must let him know that I’m confused. I must have missed something here because my head is all over the place. Unless I’m being slower because I’m just so damn tired. “I know that you will do whatever it takes to get to the top. You will stomp on anyone to make sure that you go far in life and you don’t care who you hurt along the way. I know that you have done things like this before and I guess it always works out for you, doesn’t it?”
All the anger is gone. Or just simmering underneath me. Under all of the confusion here because Wesley isn’t making sense at all. I want to stop him because I’m the one who is supposed to be ranting here, I am the one in the right, but he’s on a roll now and I can’t seem to stop him from going on.
“So, was all of it a lie? Huh? Do you always do the fake fiancé bit? The fake relationship to distract a guy so you can trample all over him and steal his dreams? Or is it just the fake pregnancy? And before you even try to deny it, don’t forget that Hannah has already told me that you have pretended to be pregnant before.”
“Hannah said this?” I gasp out, my brain spinning wildly as I try to process this. “Why would she…?”
“Why would you more like?” he barks. “How could you do that to me? Why would you wreck me? The baby thing… that was a lot for me. I’m a commitment phobe who never wanted to get in to anything serious. Especially with someone that I don’t even really like. But I was willing to oversee all of that…”
“Wow… what a way to make me feel special,” I snap back. “So, it was all a lie from you? You didn’t want me at all because you don’t even like me, but you were willing to stick it out?”
My baby deserves better than that. Even I deserve better than that. I could tell him that Hannah is the only one doing the lying here but if he’s going to speak to me in such a disgusting way, then he doesn’t deserve to know the truth. If he is willing to believe that of me… well, I don’t even know how low he thinks I am.
“I guess we are both liars,” he replies coldly before stalking passed me. “Don’t ever speak to me again.”
At first, I’m frozen to the spot, unable to process what has just happened, but soon the emotion rushes through me and gets the better of me. There is no way that I’m going to cry in the office. Manager or not, it isn’t the done thing. So, I head straight for the bathroom and I lock myself away in one of the cubicles to cry.
Shit, I think sadly as the tears leak down my cheeks. What the hell just happened?
I can’t believe that I was mad with Wesley at the same time he was angry with me as well. But at least my reasons for being annoyed are genuine. His are ridiculous. A rumor started by someone who is supposed to be my friend here. Someone who I didn’t trust but I thought that I could like.
But how did she know about the baby? That’s what I don’t get. I guess that Wesley must have told someone, and it’s all gotten twisted from there, which makes it even more offensive really. We agreed to keep it between us, so that’s just another way that he has proven himself untrustworthy. How did I read him so wrong?
I slide downwards and grab on to my stomach, crying now for my baby as well as myself. If this is what he thinks, then it seems like I’m on my own all over again. Only this time I will be really alone because we won’t even co-parent. He can’t decide to just believe me when our child is born, and he realizes that I faked nothing, because the way that he has treated me is too bad for that. Both of us. We need better.
The creaking of the door has me sucking in and holding a breath. I don’t want anyone to hear me crying either because then they will want to know what’s going on with me and why. I don’t want to talk anyway, much less to people that I definitely can’t trust. And that includes every damn person in this office. There isn’t a single person who could be out there right now who I would want to talk to. The only person that I could even begin to speak to right now lives in New York, and she doesn’t know anything about my baby as yet.
I’m going to have to tell her now because I need Jessica’s help more than ever.
“So, did you hear?” Hannah’s nasty voice freezes me. I can’t move, I’m stuck to the spot. “About Zoe?”
Shit, she’s about to gossip about me again. This would be the perfect time for me to leap out of here and confront her for what she has done, but I don’t. It’s like I’m consumed by lead and it’s holding me in place. The world is spinning around me, everything is impacting on me, and I am powerless to stop it.
Do something, I beg myself. Don’t just sit here, don’t let that happen… but I can’t. I just can’t.
“I heard all sorts,” comes the reply from a voice I don’t even recognize. “What’s the truth?”
“Well, she has been sleeping with Andy for ages now, which
is how she ended up promoted.”
“Oh my God, isn’t he married? How do you even know about that? Did she tell you?”
“God no.” Hannah laughs loudly, the sound stabbing in to me like blades. “I imagine that she was far too embarrassed to tell me. But I walked in on them. She was under his desk giving him a blow job.”
“That is disgusting! I can’t believe it. I don’t think any job is worth that…”
“I know. Me neither. But I guess some people are willing to do whatever it takes to get to the job. However horrific it is. Personally, I think that she is an absolute fool for going anywhere near him but…”
I block my hands over my ears. I can’t listen to these lies anymore. Maybe Wesley hasn’t said anything about the baby then, perhaps Hannah is making up all sorts to take me down for some strange reason, and it’s just a coincidence, but it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I know that once rumors get spread around there isn’t any way to stop them. If you ignore them, you look guilty and it gets worse. If you confront them… well, it gets worse again. There isn’t any way to handle them. And now I am a real target. I’m stuck here with all eyes upon me. My belly swelling as the baby inside of me grows isn’t going to help things, is it? There will be rumors that the baby is Wesley’s, that it belongs to Andy, probably that I’m a slut who could be having a child with anyone. I don’t want to face that, especially since Wesley clearly isn’t prepared to support me so I am alone.
I don’t know if I can do this by myself. I don’t know if I can do it at all.
Chapter Thirteen
Wesley
“I don’t want to go out again tonight,” I moan to Court and Hannah. “I’m still hung over, you know.”
“Which is exactly why you have to come out!” Court shoots back, proving that he isn’t about to take no for an answer, no matter how many times I shoot it his way. “Hair of the dog. It’s the best cure.”