Requiem for a Mouse

by Jamie Wang

  The Slasher…

  “How could you?” Prince looked back up at Maverick as if seeing him for the first time.

  “Don’t you dare judge me when all you did was hide under the covers! Did you think your wishful thinking was enough to save her life? Did you think that you could do your part by just praying? But since things turned out like this, you think you can judge me because unlike me, you did nothing!”

  “You can’t justify this. The things you did were inhuman.”

  “How are humans supposed to live?” Maverick smacked his chest with open palms. “What’s more human than protecting the girl you love? Tell me!”

  Prince kept silent. There was no answer that would satisfy Maverick. The silence settled between them, suffocating anything either could say.

  “It must be easy,” –Maverick looked from Prince to Bolt to Flower— “to judge me from up so high, but even easier to forget that I’m the one wading through shit so you guys don’t have to. You’re up so high because you’re standing on my shit stained shoulders. The least you guys can do is not hate me!”

  “Mav, calm down. We can—”

  “It’s Vlad.” With that, Maverick turned to leave. “Good-bye, Mouse.”

  “Wait, where are you going?”

  Without turning, Maverick replied, “I keep my promises.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Prince screamed and chased Maverick to the entrance of their home. “At least tell me where Sasha is!”

  Maverick stopped in his tracks. “You already know. Stop making me repeat it.” Though he still had his back to Prince, his shoulders shuddered with sobs. “It’s cruel, even for me.”

  Of course I know.

  Prince fell to his knees. At last, he let the tears escape from his eyes. It felt like his chest was being torn from inside. His heart crashed into its cage with every beat, it tried to escape.

  Prince closed his eyes and cried.

  FLOWER

  Flower had run out of tears to cry and by the sounds of it, so had everyone else. They all sat away from each other. Bolt had his face buried in a corner and Prince was sitting on the floor staring at nothing. None of them knew how many hours had passed, but the sun was setting and the ground underneath them had somehow dried.

  In the middle of their tents laid their last plastic bag of bread. Flower crawled out of her tent and grabbed a piece, nibbling on its crust. Despite her rumbling stomach, the thought of food made her nauseous.

  “You guys should eat,” she said loud enough for only herself to hear. She hadn’t meant to be so quiet. It felt like she had forgotten how to speak.

  She was about to repeat her statement when Prince said, “I wonder if this is our fault.” His voice sounded foreign, intruding upon the silence.

  “What do you mean?” Flower asked.

  “She went out during the storm. Why else would she do so except for us?”

  “That doesn’t make sense. How would it help us?” Flower countered.

  Prince shook his head. “I don’t know. All I know is that while she was out there dying, we were here playing with fucking umbrellas.”

  “Why did she go by herself?” Bolt asked in a whisper.

  “She was trying to protect us,” Flower answered.

  “Or,” Prince said, “maybe she stopped believing in us. We failed as Mice. We failed as her family. All we ever did was cause her trouble.”

  Prince clawed at the dirt.

  “Guys,” Flower said, “I really think we should eat.”

  Prince looked over, his face pale and eyes grey. “We’re on our last meal too. It might be time to move on,” he said softly.

  That’s the face. Flower had seen that expression before. It was the same expression Bolt had worn the night they failed their final drop.

  “Prince,” Flower whispered. “Take a few breaths.” But her words fell on deaf ears.

  “If we sell some of our stuff, we can buy some food for tomorrow,” Prince said as if telling the punchline to some sick joke. “As it turns out, we have an extra tent.”

  Bolt shot Prince a glare, but Prince continued.

  Each of his words dragged on, as if he was too weary to move on to the next. “And we have one less mouth to feed.” He stood and walked to Sasha’s tent.

  “Don’t you dare.” Bolt muttered and stood between Prince and Sasha’s tent.

  Prince looked back, his arms and shoulders slouching. He reached to peel back the flaps of Sasha’s tent.

  Bolt shoved Prince to the ground.

  Prince got up and brushed the dirt from his knees. “Pretending she’s alive won’t bring her back,” he told Bolt without an ounce of emotion. “The faster we move on, the better.”

  “Don’t you fucking dare,” Bolt said, tears in his eyes.

  “Prince, what’s gotten into you?” Flower asked, her voice trembling.

  Prince walked back to Bolt and without a single word, drilled his fist into Bolt’s stomach. Bolt spluttered out a weak breath before falling to the ground. Prince stood over him, his expression unchanged.

  “Her blanket might pay for lunch.”

  Bolt clutched his stomach and rolled onto his side. “Stop,” he spat.

  “Bolt, if you want to protect something, you have to be strong enough to protect it. Just like you can’t protect Sasha’s things, I couldn’t protect her. It’s because we’re weak.”

  Bolt growled and launched himself at Prince. Prince shot another jab into Bolt’s stomach. Bolt fell into a heap on the ground.

  “Right and wrong, none of it matters next to strength,” Prince said.

  Prince peeled back Sasha’s tent flaps and stepped inside. “I suppose it’s only fair to give these to you, Bolt. After all, Sasha bought them for you. Your perfect gift.”

  Two sneakers flew out from the tent, landing by Bolt’s feet. Just seeing them brought tears to Flower’s eyes. Even just barely scraping by, Sasha had managed to save enough to buy shoes.

  “Try them on, Bolt.”

  Bolt stared at the shoes as if wary of some trap. He looked from the shoes back to Prince and back to the shoes again.

  “Go on,” Prince urged. “They were Sasha’s last gift, might as well see if they fit. Wouldn’t it be funny if they didn’t?”

  “Fuck you.” Bolt snatched the shoes from the ground and leapt into a sprint. Before anyone could stop him, he ran away.

  PRINCE

  “What the fuck was that?” Flower screamed.

  Prince gave her an empty stare. “I don’t know.”

  Prince held Sasha’s blanket in his hands. Sasha’s smell still lingered on the linen. He brought it up to his nose and inhaled.

  “No matter who or what, we’ll protect her.” His own words came back at him, more damning then anything Maverick could’ve said.

  With a yell, Prince threw the blanket into the ground. He cocked his fist back and smashed his knuckles into the brick wall. They cracked and a fiery sting shot up his arm.

  “Fuck!” Prince screamed as he clutched his broken hand.

  “Prince!” Flower yelped, wide-eyed.

  Why can’t I save anyone?

  Prince roared at the wall and threw his fist into it again. Another crack. When he took his fist off the wall, his hand refused to open. His fingers were a deep purple already starting to swell.

  “Stop it, Prince.”

  Why can’t I protect even one person?

  Prince let loose a mighty cry and raised his arm. His fist wouldn’t fully close but he didn’t care. He would smash his fingers against the wall until either the brick or his fingers were ground to dust. He swung as hard as he could.

  He toppled backwards. Prince fell with Flower on top of him, her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug. Tears dripped onto his chest like rain.

  “Please, no more,” Flower begged as she cried into his shirt.

  “Why can’t I do anything?” Prince whimpered. “Why am I so fucking weak?”

  Prince bi
t into his trembling lips.

  “I know you’re hurting, Prince,” Flower croaked out. “I am too.”

  Prince had thought he had run out of tears, but his eyes swelled with a familiar feeling. “I couldn’t protect her,” He whispered. “I couldn’t keep a single promise.”

  “It’s not your fault, Prince. Nobody could’ve.”

  Prince wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her hair. “She’s really gone, isn’t she?”

  Flower nodded into his chest.

  “I’m sorry, Flower. I didn’t mean to—” A sharp cry interrupted erupted from his throat. “I’m sorry. Everyone’s gone.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. Tomorrow, Bolt and Maverick will come back. We’ll figure out what to do, we’ll give Sasha a proper good-bye and we’ll make it. We just have to get through tonight.”

  Prince nodded and squeezed her into him. He closed his eyes until Flower’s breathing became deep and steady. Soon, his did as well.

  Prince awoke with the moon high in the sky. Flower was still in his embrace, but she had slid down. He cracked a smile, watching her snore into his stomach. He pushed himself up only for a jolt of pain to flare up in his right hand.

  “Ow.” Prince grit his teeth and looked over. Two fingers stuck out at strange angles and a third refused to move. His knuckles glowed a deep shade of purple and red.

  With a sigh, he gave up getting up. He laid his head to the ground and stared at the moon. The insects sang a sad tune. He closed his eyes and hummed along. If Sasha could see this moon, she’d say it was beautiful, that it made life worth living.

  The sound of crunching dirt interrupted the insects’ music. Footsteps. Prince stared toward the entrance. It sounded like multiple people, though he couldn’t tell how many. The sound was muffled, as if the people making it were being extra sure to step lightly.

  “Flower,” Prince whispered, nudging her.

  Flower muttered something incomprehensible and ignored him.

  “Flower, wake up,” Prince whispered.

  An unfamiliar face peeked around the corner.

  “Flower!” Prince rolled Flower off of him and reached into his pocket for his knife.

  The stranger shot through the entrance and before Prince could get out his knife, a black bag went over his head and something pinned his arm to the ground. Flower shrieked a strident note.

  “Flower!” Prince yelled and struggled against whoever had him pinned.

  The bag held the smell of gasoline and something slightly sweet. Prince felt lightheaded. Within five minutes, he was unconscious.

  LISSANDRA

  Lissandra awoke to the noise of someone knocking on the door. She turned over and slid deeper underneath the blankets. But the pounding just got louder.

  “Liss, what is that?” Leon muttered beside her.

  “Gunther probably just forgot his keys,” Lissandra replied. With a sigh, she slipped out of bed and headed for the front door. “I’ll let him in.”

  She hadn’t expected Gunther to be back so soon. He had told her that he would be gone for a few nights at least. But he promised that when he returned, he would bring enough money to feed them for a month. He claimed she would never have to be a Mouse again.

  “Stop knocking,” Lissandra said as she reached the door.

  “Please open up.”

  Lissandra’s hand froze on the lock. It wasn’t Gunther’s voice, it was Bolt’s.

  “Please,” Bolt said.

  With a short breath, Lissandra opened the door. “Hello.”

  Bolt stared back with bloodshot eyes. Sweat dripped down his chin, converging with the sweat stain on his shirt. He held a pair of sneakers in one hand and grabbed the wall with his other.

  “Remember when you told me that I could ask for anything?”

  Lissandra gave him a slow nod.

  “I need a place to stay, just for tonight.” He held his head low as if embarrassed. “Please.”

  Lissandra spent a few moments thinking. At last she responded, “I have an empty couch.” She stepped away from the doorway.

  Bolt walked in and headed straight for the couch, but instead of sitting on it, he fell onto the ground. His back crumpled into the legs of the couch and he buried his head between his knees.

  Lissandra took a seat at the opposite end of the couch. She looked over at Bolt who remained completely still. She turned away. It felt wrong to stare.

  When the silence became unbearable, she opened her mouth and said the first thing that came to mind. “Nice shoes.”

  Bolt lifted up his head, his eyes puffy and red. He glanced down at the shoes in his hand and stared as if he had forgotten he still had them. “They were a gift,” He finally said.

  “Why aren’t you wearing them?”

  He shook his head and let it fall back in between his legs. The time passed like water from a leaky faucet. Every minute dragged on, hanging on as long as it could before dropping to make room for the next.

  Lissandra exhaled.

  “You know; I’ve never been very good at thank you’s.” She stared at the wall in front of her. “You could probably tell, since you saved my life. If there’s anything to be thankful for, that would be it.”

  She waited for a response, but none came.

  “So consider this a proper thank you,” Lissandra said. “When I first saw you, I thought you were an angel. When you ran away, I thought it meant that not even God could save me. But then you came back and you pulled me up and told me to run. I’ll always be grateful for that.”

  Lissandra looked to Bolt, steeling herself to however he might react.

  “I’m a Mouse.” Bolt’s voice came out muffled by his legs. “We’re the closest things to angels in this place.”

  It took her a second to register the words. She hadn’t expected a response. Her lips broke into a small smile. “I suppose so.”

  Bolt lifted his head up. “You never met her, but if you did, you’d understand. She was—” With another shake of his head, he let his head fall back between his knees.

  Lissandra turned toward Bolt and with a soft voice, asked, “Who was she?”

  After a deep breath, he responded, “Her name was Sasha. She’s the Mouse that saved my life, the one that convinced me to become a Mouse.”

  “She sounds pretty amazing.”

  Bolt nodded. “She was. I still remember the day I became a Mouse. She was—” His voice faded. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter anyways.”

  “No, tell me.”

  Bolt looked up at her, his brow raised in surprise.

  “Please.”

  “Alright. It was almost a year ago…”

  BOLT – 325 Days Ago

  Flower fidgeted back and forth, darting her eyes from the magazine on the ground to the entrance of their home. Bolt couldn’t stand it. If they needed money so bad, it was much easier to steal, much safer too. Masquerading as heroes was not worth the risk.

  Next to Flower were two other Mice named Prince and Maverick. They were just as nervous, but showed it in different ways. Prince kept cracking bad jokes in a desperate attempt at conversation while Maverick leaned against the wall with his eyes fixated at the entrance, as still as could be. Both had sweat dripping down the back of their shirt. Only Sasha was still out.

  Grey clouds blanketed the sky above them. Every now and then, a single raindrop would tickle their skin. If it were just a month ago, the rain would’ve been snow and they’d have a small fire in between them. But now that the temperature was warming back up, they all just wore heavier clothing.

  “I see her,” Flower called out.

  Bolt looked toward the entrance and sure enough, a dark shadow stretched across the wall. The shadow grew larger until Sasha turned the corner. Bolt froze.

  Sasha’s bruised and battered face held a weak smile. One of her eyes had swollen shut and half of her face was purple. Blood dripped down her cracked lips like the drizzle above them.

  “Sorry
guys,” she said with a chuckle. “Today’s just not my day.”

  All three Mice and Bolt ran to her. Besides her face, she had grazes and scratches on her stomach and knees. The worst was the star carved into her right bicep that had stained her entire sleeve red. The cut went down to the bone. They moved Sasha into her tent and left Flower to tend to her wounds.

  “Why the fuck would a Hawk cut so deep? God damn it!” Prince kicked their garbage pail and knocked it onto the ground with a clang.

  “Calm down, Prince,” Maverick said.

  “Don’t tell me to calm down! They could’ve killed her!”

  “Prince.” Maverick’s voice held an edge to it. His fists shook by his sides, clenched as tightly as his teeth. “Don’t disturb Flower.”

  Bolt snuck a glance toward Sasha’s tent.

  This is why Mice are so dumb. Why risk so much for so little?

  “Fucking Hawks.” Prince continued complaining, but now in a hushed voice. “I’ll get back at them, I swear to God I will.”

  “How?” Maverick asked.

  Prince took a moment to think. “Knives,” He concluded. “I’ll even the playing field.”

  “With what money?”

  Prince grinned in the way only he could, a grin that said he had and always will have all the answers. “Don’t worry about the money. It’ll take me a while, but I can do it.”

  Bolt watched them in silence. In discussions of Hawks and Mice, he was an alien. Even if he were to enter, his only inputs would be pointless banter. Only Mice knew what it meant to be hunted.

  “Bolt.” It was Flower’s voice.

  Bolt perked up and saw Flower leaving Sasha’s tent. “Yeah?”

  “Sasha wants to talk to you.”

  With a nod, Bolt ducked into Sasha’s tent. Sasha’s face was swallowed by bandages. Only her eyes and mouth had escaped their appetite. She gave Bolt a weary smile.

  “How are you?” Bolt asked.

  “Just peachy. Listen for sec because Flower gave me some pretty powerful drugs and I can feel them trying to knock me out. Tell Prince and Maverick that I’ll be ready for next week’s drop.”