Avoiding Amy Jackson

by N. A. Alcorn

  I put the final touches on my makeup. I opt for fire-engine red lipstick and thick mascara to encourage men to have dirty thoughts of my lips around their cocks. What? I’m in need of a good, hard pounding. The last time I even came close to getting my rocks off, I was shut down by a physician who felt my vagina was too intoxicated for sexy time.

  Yeah, you guessed it. That dick’s name is James. Dr. James Williams. The man who shook my vaginal confidence. He should have just slapped a chastity belt on my pussy and announced to the world that I have genital herpes. The fact that a guy was able to give my vagina’s ego a hard blow is a difficult concept for me to grasp. I’ve always been the girl who takes pride in her pussy.

  So how could one guy screw with my head this badly?

  The verdict is still out on this one. It doesn’t help that James is hot as motherfucker. I hate him and want to angry-fuck the egotistical smirk off of his sexy, smug face. But I’m not going to do that. Hell will have to freeze over ten times and skinny jeans on guys will have to become a permanent fashion statement before James Williams will ever get his fingers inside my panties.

  “Amy! Let’s go!” Lizzy hollers from the kitchen.

  I run my fingers through my wavy, shoulder-length brunette hair and give myself a good once-over in the mirror.

  Ass in skinny jeans? Hot.

  Strappy heels? Really Hot.

  Tight black blouse accentuating some cleavage? Perfect.

  Bright red lips? Perfect for encouraging blowjob fantasies.

  “I’m coming! I’m coming! Chill your scrawny ass down!” I bellow back as I grab my clutch and cell phone. Lizzy is standing near the front door, tapping her foot impatiently. I’m surprised by her current getup. She’s dressed in tight black jeans, leather riding boots, and a white tank. I have never seen Lizzy dress like this. Her wardrobe choices generally resemble a librarian or a bank teller. Cardigans, pencil skirts, and pleated pants are staples in her closet. I honestly didn’t know she had such an amazingly fit body. Seriously, Lizzy’s body is banging and she looks fantastic.

  “Holy shit! Lizzy, is that you?” I give her a smirk as my eyes roam her outfit.

  “Do I look okay? I look stupid, don’t I? Oh god, I’ll go change.” She starts to head for the hallway, but I swiftly grab her elbow and she stumbles a little on the heels of her boots.

  “Don’t you dare. You look awesome. Seriously, you look really fucking hot.”

  “Really? You think I look hot?” Her cheeks flush crimson.

  “All right, what’s the occasion?” I ask with curiosity in my voice. There has to be a reason for the giant change in attire that has just occurred.

  “Nothing. There’s no occasion. I just wanted to spice up my look a little. I thought it was time to not look like a….” She searches for the perfect words to describe her conservative garb.

  I decide to lend her a hand and give her a few examples. “Librarian, Congresswoman, bank teller, school teacher—”

  She tersely raises her hand in irritation. “All right, that’s enough. You made your point.”

  “So are you going to tell me who you’re trying to impress?” I cock an eyebrow in her direction as I gage her reaction.

  “N-no one. I’m not trying to impress anyone,” she nervously chokes out as she busies herself with looking for her keys in her handbag.

  I grab the keys off of the hook by the door—the exact place we always keep the keys—and hand them to her with a smile. I’m going to let this one slide, but I will keep my eye out tonight. I need to see figure out the reason for this sudden change in fashion style.

  “Whatever you say. Let’s get this shit-show on the road.”

  We get to Murphy’s around nine, just in time to hear the house band start their set. They’re a pretty talented group of twenty-something guys who play awesome covers of various popular songs. I lightly bob my head to the music as we take our seats at the bar. Johnny, one of my favorite bartenders, waves to me from the other end of the bar and holds up two fingers. I nod yes, gesturing for him to give me my usual beer and grab an extra for Lizzy.

  “How’s it hanging, sexy?” Johnny flips the tops of two bottles of beer and slides them in front of Lizzy and me.

  “Come on, Johnny. How long are you going to try to get inside my panties?” I wink at him as I take a swig of ice-cold brew; the carbonation bubbles fizzle in my throat as I take a deep swallow.

  “You mean you didn’t wear that hot red lipstick just for me tonight? I’m offended and hurt, extremely hurt.” Johnny holds his hand to his chest and gives me a full-on pout.

  “Knock it off, asshole. And to answer your question, no, I’m not sporting the lipstick for your enjoyment. I’m hoping some schmuck with a big cock will let me take him for a test drive later.”

  Johnny chuckles and pounds his fist on the bar. “Fuck. You’re like the human version of a female praying mantis. Do you bite guys’ heads off after you fuck them senseless?”

  My fingers lightly tap the faded wooden bar top. I tilt my head to the side and give Johnny my best seductive eyes. “You like the idea of me riding a cock with a greedy, ferocious attitude?” I softly pronounce each word with precision. Lizzy sputters on her beer as she watches the exchange between Johnny and me.

  Johnny’s eyes perk up and he leans in closer to me. “Only if that cock is mine.”

  I can’t help it. He’s too easy to screw with. I burst into laughter and slam a few dollars onto the bar.

  “Every time. Every fucking time. When will I ever learn?” Johnny pulls away from the bar and crosses his huge arms across his chest. He starts to say something, but a customer grabs his attention and he immediately heads their way. He shoots a glare in my direction and shakes his head with feigned annoyance as he takes a few orders.

  “You have to teach me.”

  I turn my head towards Lizzy and cross my legs. “Teach you?”

  “Teach me how to talk to men like that, make them crazy and practically eat out of my hand.” She places her elbow on the bar and puts her chin in her palm. “I wish I had your confidence.” She huffs out a frustrated breath.

  “Lizzy, you do not want to be like me. You’re pretty and sweet and kind…and I’m a total bitch.” I give her a pointed look and she laughs. “But seriously, what brought all this on?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugs her shoulders and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess I’ve just been re-evaluating everything lately. I know I could benefit from being a little less uptight and maybe a little more…” She pauses as she searches for the right word.

  “Bold? Brazen?”

  Lizzy nods in agreement.

  “Slutty? Shameless?” I offer a few more suggestions with an amused smirk on my face.

  She rolls her eyes in a response. “God, you’re unbelievable. And here I thought we might be having a serious conversation.” An exasperated chuckle escapes her lips.

  “I will say your change in attire is really working for you. It’s a little less ‘I’ll be your campaign manager’ and a little more ‘I’m a super-hot-sexy bitch.’”

  “Really?” She questions with surprise.

  “Uh huh. Your ass is working those skinny jeans.”

  A small grin turns up the corners of her mouth and I can tell she’s feeling more confident, more comfortable, and more sexy in her own skin. I’m really digging this side of her. Confidence looks good on Lizzy Montgomery.

  I feel soft hands touch my shoulder and turn around to see Ellen behind me. I jump off of the barstool and pull her in for a tight hug.

  “Hey! I can’t believe you were able to disentangle yourself from Trent’s dick long enough to come hang with us!”

  Lizzy joins in the hug-a-thon and embraces us both. “Yay! The girls are together again!” she exclaims over the music.

  “She’s got two hours and then it’s back home to more entangling,” Trent interjects. I pull away from my girls to see his wide grin and then immediately notice
that James is standing beside him. His eyes roam my body, nearly eye-fucking me to death.

  “I’m so glad you guys could make it, Ellen and Trent.” I toss a corrosive glare James’s way.

  “What about me?” He raises his eyebrow.

  “Like I said, Ellen and Trent, I’m so glad you two could make it.” I raise my eyebrow right back at him. “And I’m not surprised to see James standing there, eye-fucking me like a creeper.”

  He chokes out a laugh and slides both of his hands into his jeans pockets, my eyes automatically moving down—way, way down. My retinas manage to locate the generous bulge near his zipper and then the dirty thoughts of James being naked rush into my brain. Delicious fantasies of him sans clothing and ready to fuck me into next week.

  I hate myself right now.

  “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a beautiful woman.” James generously provides a wide opening for me to throw more sarcasm and put-downs his way. Trent, Ellen, and Lizzy follow our back-and-forth banter like an audience at a tennis match. Their heads move left and right, left and right, as they watch us with amused curiosity.

  “You left that one wiiiiiide open, Dr. Limp Dick.” Sarcasm drips from my voice like a faucet.

  “Only because I know you get off on being a bitch to me. And the idea of you getting off, well… That makes me really happy.” His wicked grin nearly knocks me on my ass and succeeds in pushing me off of my high-and-mighty pedestal, my entire sense of confident equilibrium knocked completely out of whack.

  “See why I said we needed to come to the bar instead of seeing a movie, babe? Watching Amy and James together is the absolute best thing I’ve ever seen,” Ellen not so discreetly whispers to Trent before coming to my side and wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “How about we go dance to a few songs before you actually come to a decision on whether or not you’re going to strangle him or fuck his brains out?” she speaks directly into my ear.

  My best friend just threw me a lifeline. She must have sensed that James just kicked my proverbial ass in our very obvious banter war. I agree with a slight nod of my head while my brown eyes shoot daggers at James, letting him know this little thing between us—this continual banter war—is not over. Of course, his egotistical ass receives my nasty glare with smug enthusiasm. I want to smack that smug grin right off of his fucking face.

  Ellen quickly grabs my arms and moves my body towards the dance floor with impressive quickness. “Nope. Not happening. You’re not smacking him again.”

  “What? Amy smacked James? How did I miss this?” Lizzy is right beside us, and she wraps her arm around my other shoulder.

  “Can we just not talk about James anymore? He makes me angry and gives me the urge to light shit on fire while simultaneously masturbating.”

  Lizzy and Ellen look at me incredulously, and I realize how ridiculous that last statement sounded. But seriously, James is like taking Ecstasy while on your period. He’s like watching the hottest porn gif you can find while opening a bankruptcy statement. He makes me hornier than a cougar at a high school graduation and madder than a woman who just found out her boyfriend gave her Chlamydia. He makes me fucking crazy.

  “Let’s go! Shake that little curvy body!” Lizzy slaps my ass and pulls me out onto the dance floor. Ellen follows as she giggles at her sister’s enthusiasm.

  We shake our asses to the beat of The Neighbourhood’s A Little Death playing over the speakers. The house band is doing a fine job of covering this undeniably hot track. I seductively shake my hips and notice that I have an audience of one. He watches me from the corner of the bar. This guy is attractive, probably early thirties, with a smile to die for. He continues to chat with his friend while simultaneously throwing flirtatious looks my way.

  Hmmmm. He could work.

  I continue to put my best ass forward. I lose myself in the music, lean my head back, and let the vibrations from the bass take over my movements. I feel strong hands grip my hips from behind and I automatically lean into the very masculine touch. This mystery man has some serious moves. He takes the lead and encourages my hips to move with the rhythm of his pelvis. Heat courses through my body and small beads of sweat drip down my back. Shivers roll down my spine when I feel the swipe of his tongue on the nape of my neck. My lashes sweep down involuntarily as my eyes close shut from his erotic move.

  His tongue just lapped at my salty, sweat-glistened skin and I couldn’t be any more turned on than I am right now. I feel sexually sensitized and continue to shake my hips as I turn around to come face to face with my new dance partner. I need to see the man who has my body aroused like a live wire, ready to explode any minute.

  My gaze slowly takes in his entire body as my eyes move upward to his face. The jeans, the chest, the strong jawline—all of it—give me a sense of familiarity. As my focus locks with an emerald gaze, an intoxicating scent assaults my nostrils. The aroma of peppermint, clean laundry, and cedar swim around my entire being, and I’m faced with the notion that I’m probably going to think about sex every time I pour detergent in my washer.

  He is fixated on me. His intense, penetrating stare watches my every move.

  Fucking Limp Dick.

  My body tenses automatically in pure rage. I can’t believe he had the gall to come up behind me…pull my body into his chest…grind into me…and lick me! He fucking licked me!

  My anger gets the best of me. I start to yank away from his grasp on my hips, but his hands reach around my lower back and pull me flush against him. My breasts press into his chiseled chest. His noticeable arousal pushes against my belly. God that feels good. He’s successfully thrown my equilibrium again and my pussy isn’t helping matters. She’s primping herself, preparing for a night of sex-crazed madness with James.

  I really want sex-crazed madness with James.

  No. You. Don’t.

  Yes. I. Do!

  His lips brush the sensitive spot behind my ear, and I feel his warm breath on my neck. A moan escapes my lips as I feel the flat of his tongue lick my collarbone. My nipples are now poking through my bra like they’re Punxsutawney Phil and it’s fucking Groundhog Day. Yes, I just compared my tits to a groundhog… Get over it. I’m grasping at straws here. This man doesn’t exactly have me in the most controlled state of mind.

  “You. Taste. So. Fucking. Good.” His deep, masculine voice fills my head as he speaks directly into my ear. His teeth gently tug on my lobe, inciting another myriad sensations to course through my body. Sensations that have triggered me to become temporarily insane and forget all of things I promised myself I wouldn’t do. I hate that I’m so turned on by him, but I can’t stop. I can’t pull myself away from him. I’m intoxicated by his very presence.

  We continue to dance, our faces mere inches from each other as we stare into each other’s eyes. His hands move up to my face as he grasps my cheeks. His eyes have my mind mesmerized. My entire being is entranced by him.

  “Come home with me, Amy. Let me show you all the things I want to do to you. All the things I haven’t stopped thinking about since that night after the charity event.”

  The charity event… The charity event…

  Ding! Ding! Ding!

  And my temporary insanity comes to an immediate halt.

  Oh sure, you mean the night I basically threw myself at you and you…shut me the fuck down. My brain is in charge again, giving me a strong sense of control. I finally have enough control to show James what it feels like to have someone decline your invitation to enjoy a night of dirty foreplay and illicit sex.

  Enough control to get my revenge.

  I stand up on my toes, brush my lips across his cheek, and whisper softly into his ear, “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I just can’t accept this very generous offer. I want to… I really, really want to. But I think you might have had too much to drink and I just…can’t do it.” And with that, I turn on my heel and stride right back to the bar, leaving a very shell-shocked James on the dance floor to deal with his blue balls and
very obvious hard-on.

  Suck on that, Limp Dick.

  I sit at the bar next to Ellen and Trent and order a round of tequila. Ellen raises her eyebrow at me inquisitively, trying to question what exactly just occurred out on the dance floor. I shake my head, indicating that I have no desire to discuss it.

  Johnny slides three tequila shooters in front of me.

  “For old times’ sake?” I grin at the happy couple.

  Trent chuckles and nods his head as I slide a shot his way. Ellen just grins back at me.

  “Like you even had to ask, dickhead,” she says before grabbing the shot glass.

  “Cheers, you horny assholes. I’m glad you were kind enough to take time away from your busy fuck schedule to come hang out tonight. I love you both!” I tip my glass towards them before taking the shot in one fluid motion. The tequila makes itself known as it burns a path down my throat. I immediately suck on a lime. The citrus cools my mouth, relieving the burn and strong aftertaste.

  “So how long are you going to make him suffer?” Trent asks bluntly.

  “Forever,” I answer without batting an eye.

  “You know, by being ridiculously obstinate, it’s only making him want you more, right?” Trent stacks the shot glasses and slides them towards the end of the bar.

  “I know you’re his number one fangirl, Trent, and I get your need to fill my ear with thoughts of him, but I’m never getting with James. Ever.” I take a long swig of my beer and glance over at Lizzy, who’s sitting with two young guys at a bar-top table.

  Holy shit. That little hussy!

  One of the young guys, who looks to be around twenty-four, is her personal trainer, Ryder. Now it all adds up. All of the extra training sessions, the late-night phone calls to talk about her “workout plan,” and her recent update to her wardrobe start to make sense. Lizzy is a little slut bag cougar and she’s keeping all of the juicy details to herself. I cannot believe this!

  She better prepare herself to get bombarded with one million and one question tomorrow. I have to hear about how unbelievable Ryder is in the sack. The guy might as well be a Greek god. Seriously, he’s that good-looking. Shit, I’m salivating just thinking about Lizzy having sex with him and I’m not even a participant.