by Jenna Bernel
“What time is it?” I ask, changing the subject, ignoring the electric charge beginning to thicken the oxygen in the room, making it hard for me to breathe. I get back up for my water glass. It’s suddenly very hot in here, like an inferno. Alec and I finally clearing the air and gaining some understanding after the heartache we put each other through is only making things fuzzy and confusing again.
I need to stay focused. I’m here for Eli, I’m here for my people. Hell, I’m here for life itself as we know it. I can’t get wrapped up in romantic drama. Oh, Evan. If I could only see him it would make everything clear again, easier again. That’s what I need, easy. Everything else is hard enough.
“Come on, I’ll walk you back to Henry’s,” Alec says, standing up next to me and sensing my need for escape. God, I’m such a coward. I think I’m so tough and strong, but I’m not. I’m a wimp when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s a wonder anyone would want me at all.
Henry is waiting on the porch of his tiny one-bedroom bungalow when we go back. He hugs me so tightly when I walk up to him that you’d think I am the kidnapped child stripped from my home like he once was. It is late, and I should have called. I don’t want Henry worrying about me. I still feel pretty guilty lying in his bed while he couch surfs. He keeps insisting I let it go, but I’m no princess and we all know it. I don’t deserve it.
I roll over in bed and stare at the ceiling in the pitch-black room thanks to the dark shades blocking the light. I take a deep breath and crawl out of the covers, tiptoeing down the hall very carefully so I don’t wake Henry. I sneak out the door not really knowing where I’m going, but I just need to clear my head for a bit. I feel pulled toward the sound of the ocean waves a few blocks away. I beeline to the shore, rubbing the slight chill in the air out of my arms. I still feel so cold, and this drop in temperature is no help.
As soon as my feet hit the sand, I sigh with relief. I’m not sure what it is about the smell of the ocean and the cascading colors of the blue canvas that bring me such peace, but I always feel at ease at the sight of it. I move toward the water, letting it hit just the ends of my toes, watching the seafoam pop and fizzle at my feet with the tide. I am not wearing any shoes, but every inch of this place is so pristine that there is no need for this little outing.
It’s like Mayberry here. Clean and crisp with no crime or worry, except the big worry. The worry of Stella finding her way back to this beautiful place and destroying it all and everyone in it. I loathe her. How could she carry this vendetta along for a hundred years? I want to sympathize and somehow I know I should, but I still don’t feel right inside and I just want her to die. I’ve never felt that way about anyone before, and it’s unsettling. Hold that thought. Maybe I want two creatures to die. I sense him before I see him.
“Daniella,” he calls softly from behind, and I whip around.
“What are you doing here?” I ask my father with a huff, and then almost laugh to myself, remembering Alec’s identical reaction to Roman. Man, we both have some daddy issues.
He doesn’t answer my question, only steps closer, and I step further in the water, feeling it splash around my ankles, and shiver from its icy touch. He takes off his lightweight coat and drapes it over my shoulders before I can protest.
“Please,” Christoph says, gesturing to the sand. He's standing confidently but his eyes are pleading. He makes the first move and sits down, leaning back and crossing his legs stretched in front of him toward the sea. He takes a deep breath as he watches the water, waiting for me to join him. He looks odd, more human than before even though the energy of his power is so palpable that it could knock me over like a shock wave.
He doesn’t make eye contact, just waits patiently as if I’m a gazelle who could spook and run in the other direction. I seriously consider this option for a minute. Damn, I guess I should have worn shoes. But then again he could catch up to me in a flash. I slump my shoulders, conceding defeat, and sit beside him, keeping a comfortable arms-not-touching length between us. It’s imperceptible, but something about his energy instantly changes. If I knew more about angels, I’d guess it was warmth, a loving warmth filling the space around us, but that couldn’t possibly be it. The more I think about it, Stella, this war, what happened to my parents, and Alec and I, the more I’m slipping away, losing my faith in love and maybe in me too.
My father still doesn’t speak, only sits there seemingly mesmerized by the waves. I follow his gaze and start to relax a little. I really don’t feel like talking anyways. Maybe he knows that? He’s so powerful, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could read minds too.
An hour must have passed and neither of us talks, and yet the silence isn’t awkward, either. It’s like we’re both figuring out just how to be around one another, be in each other’s presence and get comfortable with that.
I keep sneaking glances at him out of the corner of my eye, but he doesn’t seem as tempted. Probably because there’s a double-than-life-size statue of me that he sees every day, and from what Alec’s told me, has kept a close watch since my birth. I, on the other hand, can’t get over how much I look like this stranger beside me. I think it’s the amethyst eyes that throw me off the most. My mother cooed and complimented my unique purple eyes growing up, and now I’m wondering if it’s for reasons other than I thought, like her love for Elizabeth Taylor and the American dream. Instead, perhaps she liked having that reminder of him. I know nothing of their love, only that it was somehow lost and that I am the product of their lost love. Figures.
Christoph clears his throat and stands up, brushing the sand off him and only making me that much more suspicious of his mind-reading abilities. Is Mom a touchy subject, Christoph? I think each word nice and slow, sending my thoughts to him, but he still says nothing. I'll have to ask Alec about this.
He offers a hand to help me up but I decline, standing on my own, and he lets it drop in defeat. I flash back to the cave when my emotions took over and he desperately reached out, wanting to comfort me. Very curious. I didn't even know he existed until recently and suddenly he wants to play loving, affectionate dad? What's this guy’s end game?
"I assure you, Daniella, I have no end game," he answers my unspoken thought, sounding affronted by the idea. Holy shit! He can read my thoughts?
"Yes, but only if I actively try," he answers with a wink. I cross my arms, unamused.
"Have you been doing that this whole time? Not cool, Christoph!" He flinches when I call his name, as if hearing it on my lips brings him pain.
"No, I wouldn't invade your privacy like that. You just looked so lost that I wanted to help."
"You wouldn't invade my privacy like that? That's rich coming from the man who's been spying on me since birth but never bothered to knock on the door with even a ‘Hey, you don't know me, but I'm your long-lost birth father, nice to me you.’” I feel the anger bubbling up and any nice moment we just shared is obliterated in an instant.
"I'd like to explain. I want nothing more than to sit down and talk to you, Daniella." He's trying to be nice, but I can hear the edge in his voice. He's losing his patience quickly. I guess I know where I get my short temper from now.
I start shaking my head. "This has been too much for one day. I just want to go back to bed now." Really, I can't handle it, any of it. Right now I feel myself slipping, like I might turn again. I hear Christoph take in a sharp breath. Is he listening in on my head again? I said not cool! I scream it in my thoughts loud and clear, but it's happening. I'm losing it, and the cold is coming. I look at him now, panicked, and he steps forward.
"Very well. Good night, my darling. Stay warm." He puts his hands to my shoulders and I feel a pulse run through me like the aftershock of a bomb. I blink and I'm lying back in Henry's bed tucked in like a child. Alec jumps up from the chair in the corner and sits beside me on the bed.
"Was that a dream?" I blink rapidly, trying to piece it together, and I reach out, grabbing Alec’s hand in panic, trying to stave off t
he turn.
"Yes, are you OK?" Alec asks, brushing the hair out of my face with his free hand. I don't know, am I okay? God, that felt so real. I look at my shoulders, but I'm not wearing the jacket he had given me because it never really existed. Wow.
"He Cloud Crashed my dream? Is that allowed?" I sit up straighter, perturbed, before turning on the bedside lamp.
"Hard to say. He's the king and he pretty much does what he wants. And anyways, the only other person I know powerful enough to Cloud Crash uninvited is you, Dani." Alec says, tugging at a lock of my hair amused.
"How'd you know he was there? Have you been watching me sleep?! Seriously, you are such a stalker." I say it with humor because really I'm glad someone is here to tell me what just happened or I'd think I was going mad. I haven't ruled that possibility out completely, but at least I'm not quite there yet.
Alec chuckles. "Well, actually, you kept summoning me, but Christoph was blocking my entry. After the third try, I gave up and came over here so you wouldn't be alone and confused when you woke up."
"He can do that? Block you?" I knit my eyebrows together. I am so out of my supernatural league here.
"Yes. Again, it's something I've never seen unless you count the time you Cloud Crashed Roman and I in my dream and I hadn't summoned you. I imagine after some training you too will be able to ‘Block’ the Cloud Crashers out of someone else’s dream," Alec explains, making invisible quotation marks with his fingers for emphasis.
"How did I summon you and not know it?" I ask, still so confused.
Alec’s cheek digs in, creating the slightest dimple, and he shrugs. "I wish I could tell you, Dani. Like it or not, you're the daughter of a real-life full-blooded Angel. Who knows what you'll be capable of? At least once we start your training, you should be able to understand your powers better, even harness them to your will."
I slump back into the headboard. "And you, the son of a full-blooded Demon, what are you capable of?" I ask, taking in the weight of how dangerous we both are. Alec looks away. I've touched a nerve unintentionally. I release my now warm hand from his grip and rest it on his arm, giving a reassuring squeeze, letting him know it's OK, that he can open up to me. I said I wanted to be his friend and I mean it. I don't want him to feel as alone as I do. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Alec swallows an invisible lump in his throat. "Roman has been in Caliontre for some time. He'll never admit it, but I think it's softened him quite a bit. I mean enough to fall in love with a Nephil, a Demon from the Dark realm of the original Seventh circle? Unheard of. That's great change whether he faces it or not. I'm just thankful I'm still part angel. I told you my venom doesn't make vamps, it kills them. I'm literally a lethal weapon, and not just because of my bite. Stella hired me for a reason, let's just leave it at that," Alec explains, shaking his head like he's ashamed, and again my heart breaks with pity. I nod tightly, attempting to hide the pity from my face.
"Well, thank goodness we're on the same side. Do you ever think Stella suspects you’re different?" I say, shaking my head with concern at the thought of her finding out.
“How could she ever suspect? The only child of a Demon and Angel, born to restore the balance and end her reign of terror? She’s way too far gone into the darkness to ever comprehend such unlikely love, even though she and David had something just as rare. She adores me. I’m her favorite assassin and I hate her for that, hate Roman for that too.”
“I thought I was the only one allowed to hate things,” I say sarcastically, trying to cover my worry for him with humor. Alec's ocean-colored eye drill into me, unrelenting, until I lock on and hold his stare, all humor stripped away.
“Just promise me something, Dani. You never have to listen to another word I ever say if you’ll promise me.”
“Promise what?” My voice comes out hoarse. My throat is bone dry.
"Promise me you’ll remember what happened to Stella. Always remember, because it could just as easily happen to you," Alec warns, closing his eyes and looking away as if the thought makes him sick. I suck in a sharp breath when we break our gaze, feeling fuzzy as his sea-salt-scented cologne clouds around me in a misty haze.
"I don't know how to stop it," I confess, my voice now beginning to shake.
"Yes, you do." Alec moves closer and my eyes begin to flutter like butterfly wings as the electricity sparks off his lips. If I just lean in, they will connect and light me on fire from the inside out, keeping me warm all day, every day.
"I should get some sleep," I sputter out quickly, killing the moment in its tracks.
"Have it your way," Alec grumbles, clicking off the bedside lamp and shutting the door behind him. I'm trapped in the dark, but I still can't see straight. There has to be another way. I just need to see my friends, see Evan, and everything will feel normal again. I close my eyes, suddenly exhausted. Love is for suckers, and I'm the biggest fool of them all. Believe in the fairy tale? Stella is living proof that it never really works out with a happy ending… and I’m sure it never will.
Chapter 10: Nephil Training
“Ready for your first day?” Alec asks, standing over me in bed. I groan, rolling over, and I shoo him away with my hand.
“Come on, I have a surprise for you when we get there, but you have to wake up.” He jostles the edge of the bed so I shake, and I blindly swat at him, becoming quickly annoyed.
“Seriously, don’t you ever flippin’ knock?” As if he’d really exit the bedroom, knock, and wait for me to allow him to come in.
“Come on, don’t you want to see your surprise?” Alec attempts another approach.
“What, another ridiculous statue of me posing as a wannabe angel? A Portal Jump into your big canopy bed again? No thanks, I don’t like your surprises,” I quip, burying my head under my pillow in the hope that he’ll disappear.
All week Alec has been teaching me how to Cloud Crash, and I’m actually getting pretty good. Last night I was even able to enter his dream without him summoning me, which I guess is unique to my Nephil abilities unless you count Christoph, which I don’t. The problem with Cloud Crashing is that you don’t sleep like you would in a normal sleep state, it’s as if you are really awake the whole time.
Unfortunately, vamp or Nephil, I need real sleep, and this has been killing my REM cycle. We try to keep it short in the dreams so we can get some rest, but really it’s been a handful of hours a night if I’m lucky. It’s my own fault. I’ve been so excited to be lucid in these dreams and manipulate them at my will that I’ve been taking advantage. Discovering my Nephil side has been a joy, much more pleasant and much less painful than my early days as vamp.
I feel different in the Cloud Crash dream world too. Happier, more like myself than in the real world lately. It’s been that way since the first time it happened. Even when I cried and Roman entered my dreams to comfort me, Alec thinks I was summoning him for an explanation and didn’t even know it. But in those moments at least I could let go enough to cry. Even though it was painful and confusing, at least I felt something, something with depth that tugged at my soul. I don’t know why it’s so much easier in the dream world, but I think it’s because I have to harness so much Nephil power and energy, it’s more pure and keeps me in the light.
“Boo.” I feel Alec’s breath on my cheek when he sinks in bed next to me and tucks his head under the pillow like a flirtatious game of peekaboo. I instantly launch the pillow across the bedroom so we’re not under that dark cloak together. He’s been like this all week. I think he likes having me here, away from Evan and all to himself.
I’m lighter here too, and he’s noticed it’s easier to chink away at my armor. Again, it must be something special about Caliontre and the Nephil side of me. What he doesn’t realize or want to admit is that I’m fiercely loyal and there have already been way too many close calls between us as is. After walking in on my dad with another woman and my own mother having me as a mistake of a love child from her affair, I would never in a mill
ion years do that to someone I care about, let alone my best friend.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Alec says, low and husky. By the sexy tone in his voice, I very much doubt that.
“Oh really? Have you been hiding abilities from me?” I tweak my eyebrows, genuinely asking, and Alec scoffs.
“Yeah, right. If anyone is ever going to be able to come close to mind reading like your father, it’s going to be you, Dani. But even that’s far-fetched, because I’m pretty sure that’s just a full-on Angel thing.”
“Then how do you know what I’m thinking?” Breaking his gaze so he doesn’t mistake my curiosity as some sort of invitation, I roll the other way and get up to change.
“Because I see right through you, Dani. I always have, even when you’re vamp.”
I laugh. “Is that so? And here I thought I was such a good actress at The Basement.” I grab a towel and some clothes out of a drawer Henry cleared for me. He’s so sweet.
“Yes, to a cold-hearted glassy-eyed bouncer at The Basement who’s too busy checking out your ass to notice you’re too human for a vamp, you’d win an Oscar. In front of me, not so much. But it’s cute when you try.” Alec gets up and opens the bedroom door for me so I can hop in the bathroom and grab a quick shower.
“Like you don’t check out my ass?” I accuse him, but can’t hide the smile in my voice and Alec closes the door again before I can step through, looking me up and down salaciously as if he is the bouncer to Henry’s bedroom. I swallow. I shouldn’t have said anything. I feel my heart rate spike as his eyes unabashedly roam the entire length of my curves, and I wish I hated it a lot more than I did.
“Do you mind?” I manage to find my voice, gesturing at the door for him to open it.