Another pack? I wondered how many there were and if they were on our side. Then, another question hit me. Who were these human hunters? Were they only after vampires, or were they after us as well? And I thought vampires were the biggest threat. I realized how little I understood about this new world I found myself in.
I edged over to Sasha as Rowan shared a few more details.
"Where's Am?lie?" I whispered.
"She had a migraine. I was so worried about her. She kept saying she was hearing too many voices, and she was holding her head like it might burst open," Sasha said, leaning in closely so only I could hear.
"I'm going to go check on her. Will you fill me in later on whatever else I need to know?"
Sasha nodded, and I headed for my room.
When I got there, I cracked the door open, not wanting to disturb my sister in case she was asleep. There were no lights on.
"Madeleine?" Her voice sounded weak.
I rushed over to her bed. "Are you okay? Sasha said you had a rough night."
"I'm just so glad you're safe. I kept hearing voices and screaming. Some I recognized, and some I didn't."
A thought hit me. Could she hear more creatures than just our pack? So far, I could only hear ours, and only while in wolf form.
"Please don't tell anyone about this," I said, feeling very protective. "I'll tell Sasha the same thing."
"Okay."
She sounded like a small child. I pulled back the covers and crawled into bed with her.
A psychiatrist would have a field day with the voices in my head. Not long after Madeleine left, I heard a series of commands, terrifying screams, and vicious thoughts. Unable to filter through it, my head had teetered on the edge of explosion. Terrified the pain would kill me, I'd taken a hot shower and focused, trying to bring forth any distracting images. Rafe's face kept popping into my mind.
I knew Madeleine had been with him, but she seemed disinterested lately. At first, the two seemed like magnets, and I'd often catch them in intimate moments. Then, things cooled off. I hadn't asked any questions, determined to move on.
Grateful for a new day and seeking escape, I took a walk around the grounds. Blessed with a warm, sunny afternoon, I soaked in nature and blissful quiet. Still unsettled by yesterday's events, I wondered why I'd been overcome with voices then but didn't hear anything on a normal day. Maybe fear or worry brought it on. Maybe I'd never understand it. Why couldn't I be blessed with Madeleine's instincts and strength instead?
"What's got you so deep in thought?" Rafe asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Deep indeed, since I hadn't heard him come up and didn't startle at his unexpected question. Instead, I was glad to see him.
"Just trying to figure out what happened." As soon as the words left my lips, I wished I could retract them. Madeleine had asked me to not say anything.
I rushed to explain it away. "The battle sounded terrifying. Were you scared?" I hoped he would accept my diversion.
He cocked his head, only a slight tilt. "There's no time to be scared. It's about survival and coming out on top."
Something more hid behind his words. Unable to stop myself, I took his hands in mine. Turmoil filled me, causing my stomach to cramp. His energy was tortured. When I touched Madeleine in wolf form, all I felt was adrenaline. I controlled my breathing and wrapped my arms around her furry head, and she relaxed and passed out. Hoping to help comfort Rafe, I relaxed and recalled the calming effects of nature: light breezes, warm air, and beautiful colors.
Within moments, I felt his tension ebb. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.
"How do you do that?" he asked.
"I don't know."
He sat on the grass, pulling me down with him so I ended up in his lap. Wrapping his arms around me, he nuzzled my neck. I sank into his embrace.
"My own father was scared of me," he said breathing into my hair.
He had to be mistaken. Why would a father fear his own son? I took his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. "I don't believe that."
Pressing his forehead to mine, he asked, "Are you scared?"
I shook my head. He and Rowan gave us a family when fate took ours away. We owed them everything. "I'm grateful. Without you, I don't know what would've happened to me or Madeleine."
Madeleine. Hearing her name reminded me of my promise; Rafe was off limits.
"I should be getting back," I said, standing.
As I turned to go, he caught my hand. "If this is about Madeleine, it was physical, nothing more. And it's over."
Conflicting feelings kept me rooted in place. They'd been physical as I suspected, but no longer. Still, I felt a connection with him. Something I couldn't quite explain. "Still?" I said, trailing off because I didn't know how to continue.
"It was a mutual decision to stop. I told her I wanted more."
My heart squeezed in my chest as I waited for him to continue.
"Please don't leave. I need you."
***
Life can change in an instant. Mine did. Then, when I didn't think it could get any more complicated, I both started and stopped an affair and entered my first battle. To make matters worse, my relationship with Am?lie felt strained. She was spending more time off on her own. I knew there was a lot on her mind, but I wished she'd turn to me for help.
Rafe and I found common ground in training and strategy but kept our distance otherwise. After seeing him in battle, his freaky wolf sidekicks falling in line beside him, I felt uneasy around him. Earlier, Am?lie had finally asked about the battle. I detailed the horror. She fidgeted for part of it, and then she seemed to withdraw, her eyes glazing over. After, we had breakfast together. She didn't say a word to me and quickly excused herself. That was hours ago.
Hoping to let loose some pent up energy, I changed into some running clothes and went outside. I stretched for a few minutes, trying to figure out the best route to take. I didn't want to go too far by myself. Before I could decide, I heard the front door open and looked up to see Rowan.
"Heading out for a run?" he asked.
"Just need to clear my head."
"Sounds good. Do you mind if I join you?" he asked.
I shook my head, and we started with a slow jog.
"How're you holding up?"
"Fine," I said, my steps slowing.
He ran ahead a bit and then turned to face me, now jogging backward. "Really?"
I slowed to a walk. "No, not really. There were body parts thrown all over the place, a vampire attacked me again, and Rafe's wolf friends aren't growing on me. Where was Hemming, by the way? Shouldn't he have led us in battle?" Once I started, I couldn't seem to stop the overflowing words.
"Hemming was still trying the diplomatic approach when Rafe forged ahead. They tend to have completely different strategies."
"Shouldn't Hemming have the final say?" I asked. "As it was, Rafe seemed more the leader."
Rowan kicked at a piece of dirt. "I'm worried about that. Hemming would prefer we keep a low profile, and I don't disagree, but I don't know that it's the best long-term approach. They've come to blows many times. Hemming doesn't like to be questioned, and Rafe seems to be getting bolder about it every day."
If anyone asked me which leader I'd prefer, I'd be torn. Hemming didn't feel like one of us, but Rafe had an intensity in battle that scared me. "What about you?" I asked as soon as the thought hit. "You'd make an excellent leader, and everyone respects you."
"I don't want to be a leader. I'm here to keep Rafe from self-destructing, and to keep us alive. Sasha and Ricardo are family. I'd do anything for them. And for you and Am?lie."
I threw my arms around him. "We'd do anything for you, too," I said as I pulled back.
Why did I always go for the bad guy? A normal girl would be falling all over Rowan, the perfect combination of sexiness and substance. I loved him, but I couldn't see myself with him. "I'm here for you no matter what," I said, giving him a peck on the cheek.<
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"And I'm here for you and your sister. I won't let anything bad happen to either of you," he said. "Now, let's get back and see what kind of trouble my brother and your sister are getting into."
I nodded, but his words struck me. I hoped my sister could handle the kind of trouble Rafe brought.
Eager for a shower, I stopped to pick up some clothes and toiletries. I almost ran into Am?lie in my haste. "Hey, where've you been?" I asked. I hadn't seen her since breakfast.
"Hanging around. What about you?"
"I went for a run with Rowan. He's pretty awesome," I said, grabbing some supplies from my dresser and bed.
"He is. Where are you going?"
"I so need a shower, then I was hoping to find some dinner. Will you come with me?"
"Sure."
I wanted to beg her to tell me how I could fix things. She meant everything to me, and I couldn't stand the tension between us or pinpoint how it started. Most of our conversations felt stiff and took way too much effort. It'd never been that way before. We never kept secrets. At least, we didn't before the night our mother died.
Rafe called for me at all hours of the night. I couldn't, and wouldn't, refuse his need. When he summoned me, I didn't hesitate to slip out of bed and move down the hall into his room.
I pushed the door a bit to peer inside. "Rafe?" I whispered.
"Come in, and close the door."
Doing as I was told, I entered the darkness. "Can you turn on a light?"
For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Then, a light came on next to his bed, illuminating his face. My eyes darted to Rowan's bed; it was empty.
"He's on patrol. That's why I called you. I?"
He never wanted to say the words, and I didn't force him to. I crawled into his bed and pulled him close.
"It always works better when our bodies touch," he whispered into my ear.
I pushed my nightgown down. Prickling sensations flooded me. Whenever I was with Rafe like this, I could feel his energy seeping into me. It wasn't a comfortable feeling-at least not at first, with his intense need tugging at me-but it seemed to relieve him.
As he took, I gave. What started as a greedy rush ebbed into a slow burn. Then, I allowed myself to feel. He slowed down and took my needs into consideration. When we were both spent, we lay curled into each other.
"Ah," he said, his body relaxing. "I assume Madeleine told you about the battle."
I nodded, wondering why he would bring this up now. I didn't want to talk about it. Madeleine hadn't wasted time detailing Rafe's machinations, how brutal he and his demon wolves were in their attacks. She'd gathered a few more details as everyone was talking in the living room afterward. Unfortunately, a group of citizens-ones who, according to Madeleine, were there for the same purpose-got in the way and were slaughtered. A few survived, but were turned. Their whereabouts were unknown.
"It's not what you think. Those vampires are vile. You of all people know that. They killed your mother and would've killed you if it weren't for?"
We both knew I owed my life to him and Rowan. Still, I couldn't shake the details Madeleine had shared about the prior evening. "Those wolves that are always around you freak me out."
His body tensed at my statement. "They're cursed, unable to switch back like us. It's made them angry, but they blame the vampires, and they want what we want. They didn't ask to be the way they are."
There was something I could understand. None of us, to my knowledge, had asked to be what we were. Although he seemed sure about the wolves, I still had questions. "How can you know their intentions? How is it that you can communicate with them, but nobody else can? Madeleine said you moved with them in tandem, as if you were connected somehow."
As soon as I said the last words, I regretted them. I shouldn't betray my sister; she'd shared those thoughts with me in private. My questions and concerns fell into empty space as he began to caress me in places nobody but him ever had. I couldn't resist. Amazing sensations and a sharp tug-like someone was draining my energy from within-competed with each other. When he took what he needed, as he had a couple of times, he kissed my forehead and rolled off me.
"Rowan will be back soon."
I felt dirty and used, something I hadn't felt with him before. I reached for my nightgown and slid it back on. "You're a good man; you just have to believe it like I do."
"My mother used to say that. I believed her; then, she killed herself." He turned away.
Pushing closer, I wrapped my arms around him. "I'm here for you, and I'm on your side. And, yes, we all agree these vampires need to be stopped. Still, I don't want you to become their kind of evil to do it."
He tensed. "You should go."
I kissed his shoulder and snuck out of the room to go back to my own. Afraid to wake Madeleine, I tip-toed over to my bed and lowered myself onto it. Just when I thought I was in the clear, the bed squeaked.
"Is everything okay?" Madeleine asked, her voice drowsy and disoriented.
"Yes. I'm just getting back from the bathroom. Sorry I woke you."
"You never used to get up so much in the middle of the night," she said, sounding more awake.
No, not before Rafe. I wanted to talk to my sister about what was going on. I never thought I'd keep so much from her. Rafe was very honest with me about his dalliance with her. He said it hadn't meant anything. Still, guilt began to suffocate me, and I had to steady my breathing.
"I think we're all antsy, lately. Go back to sleep. It'll all figure itself out soon," I said.
If only that could be true.
Dinner was usually my biggest meal of the day, especially considering the activity levels of my late evening and early mornings. This morning the smell of steak turned my stomach. Chilled to the bone, I made myself coffee and sat down. When I lifted the cup to take a sip, the aroma filtered into my nose, and a wave of nausea hit me like a bull going after a red cape. I set the cup down and hurried to the bathroom, where I emptied the remaining contents of my stomach.
I'd been feeling rundown. For some reason, I thought my newly enhanced human and werewolf combination wouldn't give in to the common cold so easily. Guess that showed what I knew. Weak from throwing up and hunger, I decided to go sit outside where it was cooler and sip on some water.
"Can I join you?"
Madeleine's voice caught me off guard, and I spilled some of my water. "Oops," I said, trying to recover. "Rough morning."
"You look awful," she said, reaching out to touch my forehead. "Do you feel okay?"
I shook my head. "I think I have a cold."
She pulled back a chair and sat down. "Maybe we should run out to the store later."
"Rafe says we shouldn't leave the compound." It came out before I could stop it.
Madeleine flinched. "He's probably right."
A cool breeze kicked up, and we sat in silence while she sipped her coffee.
We both turned to look when the back door crept open. Rafe walked onto the porch. "Am?lie, I've been looking for you. Can we chat?"
It was strange for him to seek me out this early, and even more unlike him to be so forward in front of Madeleine, or anyone for that matter. He seemed to sense how uncomfortable I felt.
"Sorry, Madeleine. Am?lie's been helping me with something. Do you mind?"
She shook her head and looked away.
I wanted to tell him to wait for me so I could chat with my sister. My relationship with Madeleine had never been so shaky, and it hurt me to the core. However, when I looked at Rafe, his obvious need beckoned.
"Madeleine, I'll be back in a little bit."
In my heart, I made a promise to open up to her soon. We needed to reconnect as sisters.
Blood comes first.
***
"Can we talk?" Rowan asked; the seriousness in his voice unmistakable.
"Sure. Hey, have you seen Am?lie? She seems to be avoiding me today."
Am?lie thought she was pulling a fast one, sneaking off
to see Rafe in the middle of the night. How gullible did she think I was? Did she not think I could smell him on her?
"That's for the best. Do you mind going somewhere more private?" he asked in a hushed tone, reaching his hand toward me.
I responded by placing my hand in his.
We walked down the hallway, and a couple of people stared at our joined hands. I could only imagine what the gossip mill was around the house. Did people think there was some wicked triangle going on? I didn't care what most people here thought, so I squeezed Rowan's hand tighter and put the others out of my mind.
Once outside, I followed his lead through the forest. We didn't transform. Top speeds weren't possible in our human form, but we ran faster than most Olympic athletes did regardless.
When he slowed his pace, I matched his stride. Soon, we came to a stop. He wasn't still for long, pacing taking the place of running.
"Hemming's going to make a stand against Rafe and his band of wolves," Rowan said, his eyes locked on mine. Before I could process what this might mean, he continued, "Hemming came to me because he wanted me to keep everyone safe, and he hoped I'd understand why he needed to teach Rafe a lesson, considering the last incident."
Blood was thicker than water; I understood his conflict right away. I'd have to tell my sister, even if I disagreed with what she was doing. No way could I stand by and let someone attack her without warning.
"What are you going to do?" I asked, knowing in my heart the answer.
"I have to tell him. It sucks. Hemming took us in when we needed a home, and this is how I repay him."
"You aren't responsible for what your brother's done."
"Yes, I am. But I know Hemming will have to kill him, because my brother won't back down."
Neither would Hemming, that much I knew. "Rafe isn't himself lately, or at least he's not the man I first met. Even if you didn't tell him, I think he'd come out on top, but you'd put yourself-and your friends-on his bad side." Had I really ever known Rafe? Could a man fall this far this fast? Then again, Rowan seemed to hold out hope, so how could I not?
"What if we convince Rafe to talk to Hemming and smooth things over?" As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were ludicrous. What was about to happen was inevitable.
Chasing Forgiveness: A Tala Prophecy Companion Novella Page 5