The Prince of Manhattan

by Alexei Iskander

  “Oh jeez” the man snickered, “we’ve got a live one here. Look buddy, if you really need to get to Jersey just use your smartphone to figure it out”. The man then walked off leaving Leofric confused and frustrated. What kind of insolence is this? If a man behaved like this back home he would be liable to start a fight. Is such crass insolence towards travellers a norm in this part of a world? I’ve never encountered such a rude and thoughtless people before. He huffed and then looked around for somebody else to question. That’s when he saw a man with black shards across his face, covering his eyes. What kind of man would hide his eyes from the world around him? A wizard perhaps? I can’t imagine anyone who is up to any good would so such a thing. He was also surprised by the fact that the man was holding a rope that was attached to a dog’s collar. If he’s with his dog then he must be hunting and yet there’s nothing to hunt around here. Knowing this bizarre city maybe the dog is the one controlling him.

  “How can I get to Jersey?” Leofric asked a man sitting on a bench looking at his handheld device. The man just looked up at Leofric with a scowl on his face, “beat it” he said in a dismissive tone. Leofric suppressed a current of rage and walked off in a huff. Is there nobody in this city who can be of any help? He walked down to the edge of the greenery and commenced walking through the city once more. Maybe there’s another section of this infernal city that doesn’t have rude people. He continued to get stares as he made his way down the streets but he ignored them, his attention was taken up by the incredible sights around him. He gazed in wonderment as he passed by luminescent signs that glowed with no recognisable source of fuel. He lost his breath looking at buildings so tall that they seemed to pierce the sky and rest among the clouds. Men didn’t build this city, giants must have done it and then the men took it for themselves. How else were such magnificent structures erected? There were steel behemoths so large that Leofric saw that they contained dozens of people and yet they would occasionally stop and people would both enter and leave the beast simultaneously. There were restaurants everywhere and Leofric glanced through the translucent screens to see profoundly unusual and varied dishes being consumed. And then there were the moving screens, screens on which images played out, some of them emitting noise as well. When Leofric first saw them in the side of a building he had thought they were portals to other worlds but on closer inspection he had deduced that the images they were playing were from other times. Some of the depictions he imagined reflected things that had happened in real life, others seemed more dream like and he assumed that they had been extracted from the human imagination. What their purpose was he had no clue but he surmised that they were not particularly important considering the total lack of attention payed to them by the locals. If I were to tell stories of the things I have seen here in Northumbria I would never be believed.

  He saw many more people chatting into their handheld devices, holding them close to their ears and he realised that it was no sign of madness. Either half the city is mad or these objects are capable of things I haven’t realised yet. I should ask them what the objects mean, though I’m sure that will just give them more excuse to be curt with me. The way these people act it’s like they have no fear of starting a blood feud. The day grew long and Leofric saw that the sun was dipping in the sky and things were getting darker. I’ve been in this city for several hours and I’ve totally failed to reach the port or to even know where I am besides the fact that it’s called ‘New York’. If I don’t manage to find accommodation then I’m in really big trouble. He felt his hunger grow and when he saw a vendor selling ‘kebabs’ similar to the ones he had had earlier, he tried to purchase one with a gold coin. The merchant refused to accept it and Leofric rubbed his grumbling stomach as he ventured off to look for something else to eat. There should be an inn around here that I can lodge in, the only issue is that they don’t really seem to accept gold. Some of them do but most of them reject the stuff despite its value. He saw a large inn like building, he peeked inside and saw that it looked like a regular pub. There was wood panelling, a bar and tables and chairs with men laughing raucously while drinking down pints of ale. Praise the fates I’ve found an inn to settle down in for the night.

  He moved to go inside when a massive bald man in totally black clothing blocked him from doing so. “I’m going to need to see some ID” the bald man demanded.

  “ID?” Leofric asked, his temper fluttering a little. Who is this man to deny me entry to a common inn? I may not be from around here but I am royalty and I deserve to be treated as such. “Yeah I’m going to need to see it” the man added.

  Leofric didn’t know what ‘ID’ was but he wasn’t about to be bossed around. His patience had worn thin and he was exasperated from having dealt with the obtuse and arbitrary New Yorkers all day. “I am a royal” he began, “a commoner has no business denying me from any establishment”.

  “You’re going to have to leave” the bald man replied indifferently.

  Leofric curled his hand into a fist when he saw two other massive men dressed in black come up by his side. “Is this one giving you any trouble?” one of the arrivals asked the bald man. Leofric became acutely aware of how outnumbered he was and his common sense prevailed over his temper. “He was just about to leave” the bald man responded. Leofric took his cue to leave, glowering at the bald man as he did so. Why the denied me from that inn I know not but it’s unacceptable in any case. If I had my retinue with me when that happened then there would be hell to pay.

  Leofric strolled down the streets for a while longer until he came across another inn on the end of a street. There was nobody dressed in black outside of the entrance so he made an attempt to enter. He passed through the doorway and into the loud pub without any issue, he scanned the room and saw no men dressed in all black. Whatever gang those men were part of doesn’t seem to be in this part of town. Now let’s get some mead in me and then I can negotiate for accommodation. He strolled over to the bar and stopped in front of a pretty tavern girl who was behind the counter. “I’ll have a jug of mead” Leofric declared confidently. After a day of being witness to all manner of strange things it was refreshing for him to do something he was intimately used to. “Mead?” the girl asked in a thick accent.

  “Yes that’s the stuff” Leofric affirmed.

  “We don’t sell that here” the girl replied.

  They don’t sell mead at a tavern? I’m really starting to get sick of this bloody city, can’t they do anything right? “Then what do you serve?” he asked.

  “We have Budweiser, Bud light, Guinness, Fosters” the girl began.

  “Are those ales?” Leofric asked.

  “They’re beers” the girl said in a tone that one might use for someone who’s a little bit slow.

  “Well then I’ll have the strongest beer you have” Leofric declared.

  “That would be Dixon’s finest” the girl answered.

  “That’s what I’ll have” Leofric followed up.

  The girl poured a beer from behind the counter and then handed it over to Leofric in a clear glass. “Pay by cash or card?” the girl asked.

  “I only have coin on me” Leofric answered.

  “So cash then?” the girl asked. “If you want I can set up a tab for you, would you like that?”. I have no idea what that is and I can’t be bothered asking. “Yes I would like that” Leofric replied.

  “Okay then” the girl said, “what’s your name by the way”.

  “Leofric son of Cedric” he stated.

  The girl was tapping away at something behind the counter. “Was that Leofric Cedric?” she asked.

  “No it’s Leofric son of Cedric” Leofric corrected her.

  “Sir I’m going to need your real name” she demanded.

  “My name is Leofric” the deposed royal baulked.

  “I’ll put down Leofric” the girl said. “The tab will be due in four hours or so”.

  “Got it” Leofric lied, as he pulled out his purse.r />
  “You don’t have to pay for another four hours” the woman said looking at him as if he was stupid.

  “Got it” Leofric repeated, putting his purse away. So I don’t have to part with my coin for a while, what a strange world.

  He walked over to an empty table and sat down with his beer in hand. All around him were men with beers in their hands, yelling at screens displaying moving pictures. At first Leofric assumed that it was some kind of ecstatic religious occasion but then he saw that the screens were depicting men in various athletic pursuits. They’re cheering on their champions just like people do back home. Why do they do that though when their champions can’t even hear them? It would be like me yelling at a picture of my friends winning a battle. Leofric sipped from his beer and was overcome by a foul, bitter taste. This is what they call beer? This is more like cow’s piss than anything else, what kind of man would drink this? Leofric felt a cold rage run through him when he considered the idea that the girl at the counter had cheated him. There’s no way that they would serve this as a beverage to men after a hard day’s work, she must have done this as an insult. He was about to get up to complain when he saw an empty glass with a small amount of beer left in it on the empty table next to him. It was the same consistency and colour as his drink and he derived that it was the same as his. That must also be Dixon’s finest, I should give it a sip and see if it’s the same as I was served. He picked up the drink and sipped from it and experienced the same bitter, life denying taste. It isn’t an insult, they really do drink this here.

  Over the next hour or so Leofric finished drinking his glass of Dixon’s finest and moved on to other beers. None of them were as strong and disagreeable as Dixon’s but all of them retained that bitter taste. He had finished at least five beers by the time that a large man came up to him. Is this guy looking for a fight? I can take him, Northumbrian men are never found lacking. “Your tab expires in three hours you got that?” the man queried coldly.

  “Don’t bother a man when he’s drinking” Leofric grumbled in response.

  “Excuse me?” the man asked. “Is this an attitude problem?”.

  “I am a royal” Leofric stated, his voice a tiny bit slurred and his body swaying slightly. “I deserve to be treated with more respect than this”.

  “Anymore cheek and I’m having you thrown out” the man declared.

  “Then I will seek accommodation elsewhere” Leofric remarked. “Somewhere that doesn’t pass off rancid cow piss as beer and where men know when to quieten their tongues”.

  “It’s time to leave” the man mentioned. “Come on get up”.

  Leofric stared at the man with hatred. I come here to sit and drink and then find a place to sleep and I’m being kicked out like that? They wouldn’t dare do this back in Northumbria, even to a minor nobleman.

  “Don’t impugn my honour again” Leofric said. “I shall leave when I fancy”.

  Several bulky men sided up with the man in front of Leofric. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way” the man said.

  Leofric’s fingers itched to draw his sword but he suppressed them. Drawing blood would do no good at this point, better to simply endure the humiliation. He took one last swig from his glass and then stood up. “A frightened rabbit has more honour than you” he announced before walking past the large men and out of the inn. Now I have to find another inn to sleep in, all because of the bizarre laws that rule this place. I have no clue what customs I’m offending but it seems like they’re universal because everyone in this place hates me. He walked down the streets, stumbling slightly due to his mild inebriation. The sky was dark and he was becoming worried at his lack of a place to stay. He wandered down the streets for a while and at one point he tried to enter another inn but he was turned down at the door. It took all of his willpower to not draw his sword and threaten the man turning him down with it. His rational side prevailed though, he knew better than to start a fight in a city where he didn’t know anyone.

  He began to despair as the night advanced and he realised the gravity of his situation. I’m fates know how far from home and I have no idea how to get back. I can’t even secure directions to the local port let alone secure a voyage home. My uncle is likely cementing his rule right this moment, torturing and terrorising his subjects into accepting him. Every moment I waste is another moment he drives Northumbria further into misery. And then there’s my father, his death has yet to be avenged and if he could see me now what would he think? He would be ashamed no doubt at my lack of progress. He kicked a metal can in frustration and misery. I can’t even talk to the people here without messing it up, it’s like there’s some courtesy that I’m not observing that causes people to dismiss me or attack me. Just where did my uncle’s witch send me? To think I was almost blinded by my uncle as well, if that had happened I would be lucky to survive as a beggar in this place. The number of people on the streets had decreased substantially and Leofric saw that lights were coming to life through the transparent screens on the sides of buildings. The people of this city are returning to their homes, obviously not for slumber because their lights are on so who knows what. Probably watching those bloody moving screens, absorbing the images like simpletons, bah!

  The air was cold but Leofric was warm underneath his robes, he wrapped them around himself to keep that way. I’ll have to sleep on the streets tonight like a common beggar and hope that ruffians don’t rob me while I sleep. To think that I was a prince once and now I’ve been reduced to this. My uncle probably sent me here for that reason, because he knew I would be humiliated here. Humiliation hurts more than any dagger ever could especially when you’re worth something. He lay down by the side of the street and slumped his back against the wall. He closed his eyes and let sleep tug him into its embrace, within no time at all he was in the world of slumber. Screaming filled his ears and he jerked awake in a heartbeat. His mind was a little hazy before he realised that he had fallen asleep by the side of the road and now he was awake again. More screaming filled his ears and he turned his head to see a young woman running into an alleyway while two nasty looking brutes pursued her. He got up in an instant and started marching over to the front of the alleyway. His head was still woozy from having just woken up but he was sure of what he needed to do. I may not understand this city well but I certainly know what it looks like when someone is in danger. Those men are going to do vile things to that woman if I don’t intervene.

  He crept to the side of the alleyway and collected his thoughts for a few brief moments. I could be making a terrible mistake by doing this, I could end up making some kind of tremendous faux pas. Then there’s the fact that these men might come back for revenge on me if I stop them and they’ll bring their friends and relatives. Fighting a blood feud on my own is no easy thing especially in a foreign country. I mean come on Leofric this doesn’t concern you, that this woman was unlucky is none of my problem. I have to go back to my homeland in once piece. He heard sobbing and the woman plead for mercy and it struck a deep chord in his soul. No matter how much I want to I can’t leave this woman to the hands of these savages. Oh why oh why do you have to be such a righteous fool Leofric. Well here it goes. He turned into the alleyway and saw that the young woman was at the end of a fence, in front of her were two brutish men.

  The woman was crying profusely and her expression was filled with terror. “I want first dibs” the man on the right muttered.

  “Go right ahead” the other man said. “Just leave some for the rest of us”.

  The man on the right pulled out a massive knife and made his way towards the girl. Well here goes nothing. “What kind of men would feel proud to do such deeds?” Leofric loudly declared. The men stopped and turned to look at them, one of them had a pitiless sadism in his eyes while the other had a cruel scar running down his face. Leofric knew evil when he saw it. “When it comes to men who would so such evil against the weak and innocent then only steel can deter such brigands” he asserted. He
made a quick calculation, only one of the men was armed and his weapon was only a mere knife, he could deal with both of them with relative ease.

  “Beat it freak” the man with the knife growled. They have no idea that I’m armed, I would almost feel sorry for them if I didn’t know what they were going to do to that unarmed girl. “Go take your meth headed ass somewhere else” the scarred man added. “Unless you want to end up in a dumpster with her”. The thug pointed at the woman and Leofric felt a flash of rage. What kind of man targets and hunts down innocent women for his sick games. “That can’t be done I’m afraid” Leofric delivered, suppressing the anger in his voice.

  “That’s it” the man with the knife grumbled. “I’m gutting this clown”. The armed thug approached Leofric, his face etched with cold, dead cruelty. “Make it clean” the scarred man called out. “We have to get rid of the bodies after and we can’t have too much blood and guts lying around”.

  “Just watch me” the armed man replied, “get ready to die tweaker”.

  Just a little closer, come on that’s it, nearly in range. The ruffian came close enough to lunge at Leofric but he was in for a nasty surprise. Leofric stepped back ably and whipped out his sword and sliced across the brigand’s stomach. The brigand cried out and dropped his knife, stepping back as blood splattered out.

  “Freak!” the disarmed man cried out, clutching his wound. “Tweaking son of a bitch” the scarred man added. Leofric darted his eyes between the two men, he kept his sword ready for an attack by either one. The scarred man pulled out a large club and Leofric understood that he was going to make an attack on him. They may be scum but I might as well give them a chance to leave, enough blood has already been spilled. “I am giving you both one chance to leave this place” he announced. “I don’t want to shed more blood here tonight”.

  “Kill him!” the wounded man cried out in rage.

  “Take this!” the scarred man said, rushing towards Leofric with his club raised high. Leofric stood still as his attacker approached, he had spent his whole life training for war while these amateurs only had experience picking on easy targets that couldn’t fight back. The scarred man swung his club and Leofric ducked at the last moment, his disciplined reflexes serving him well in avoiding the strike. The scarred man was thrown off balance and Leofric took the opportunity to plunge his sword into the man’s neck. The thug chocked on his own blood and Leofric pushed him off his sword, sending the ruffian to the ground. Of all the lives I’ve taken I think I’ll regret taking this one the least. He glanced over and saw the wounded man was petrified with horror on his face. Not so tough now that you’re up against a target that can fight back huh? The wounded man scurried past Leofric and into the night, like a cockroach looking for a crevice to hide in. Maybe that’ll teach him a lesson not to pursue a life of evil, though it probably won’t, scum will always remain scum.